Kibum`s POV

Pulling myself closer to him, burying my face deeper into his silk garment – I hoped, I so deeply hoped it would make it better. That he would make it better. But why couldn`t I feel his warmth? Why couldn`t I enjoy his smell? Why couldn`t he make my pain go away? Why couldn`t I stop feeling so empty?

So empty without him? So empty without his smell? So empty without seeing my reflection in his dark eyes? Showing so much love, so much care. Almost drowning me in them. Entwining me to its fullest. Like his arms always did that night.  

So I left him, left him. All by himself as I pulled out of his cold arms. Going back to my white room, so sickening white and freezing cold. Going back to my memories, my beautiful memories and dreams. But it hurt, it hurt so much. So much, I forgot. Forgot what it meant to feel.

Felt it good to fall into this foreign bed? My head hitting the pillow softly. How come those sheets never got warm? Were they always so cold? Will they stay cold forever? I wanted to close my eyes and see his face again. Wanting to wake up from this cruel reality. But sleep never came. I couldn`t see his face, couldn`t see his smile, look into his eyes, smell his unique scent.  

Why sleep? Why are you so cruel to me too? Why won`t you let me go back to him? Why do I have to cry those painful tears, rolling down my red face so silently? Eyes only staring