Chills. Chills enveloped my entire body.

It was beyond disgusting, Huang Zitao what are you doing?

“You must not tell a word about this to Myungsoo.” I blurted out immediately with my gritted teeth.

Yixing just gave me a questioning look.

“If you want Huang Zitao alive for the next few days, don’t tell Myungsoo a word about this.”

My mind was in chaos, I didn’t know what to do. Myungsoo, Tao, and the freak were all crashing in my brain I can’t freaking concentrate on who I would think first.

But the last think I knew was the slamming door I made when I left our room, I was walking so fast going to. . .fcuk.

I was lost, but now I’m standing in front her door.

This is crazy, standing in front her door means talking to her. Talking to her means hearing her explanation; hearing her explanation means believing her; and believing her means selling out Tao. I can’t fcuking sell Tao who’s been my friend just for a freak whom I’ve just known for a month!

I groaned, my eyes fascinated at the wood ages running on her door. I sighed, what is happening to me?

“Luhan.”

My head whipped at direction where I heard my name, Misun.

“Oh, Misun.” I turned my feet towards her direction, my back facing the door.

She smiled, that smile that I’ve been used to. That dirty coquettish smile that hides some dirty plan.

Misun walked towards me, and I heard the door behind me opened. For fcuk sakes, I stiffened.

Misun had her arms wrapped her arms like a snake on my right arm, not giving me a chance to turn around and see the person who opened the door behind me.

“Can’t sleep?” Misun cooed near my ear, and damn, I’m a man who the hell won’t react.

My mouth couldn’t speak, knowing any word that would come out, she’ll definitely hear it. But Misun was persistent, and true. After all these sh!ts  in my head, I won’t be able to sleep.

“Come,” she started pulling my arm, “I can make you sleep. What do you think oppa?” Misun delighted me, I know what’s going to happen once I go with her.

And I let her pull me, and it didn’t miss my ears, even how soft and low she said it, I hear it. I heard her saying oppa, behind me and I wanted to look back.

It wasn’t Yifan she’s calling. I am sure, I heard it right after Misun said oppa.

But I didn’t.

This night, I would let myself be on its own, free from all these sh!ts that’s been bothering me.

But I know she saw us, I know. And this time, I finally made up my mind.

This is much better. She must see me with someone else, so she will know her place; her place that I should not be involved of. She should stay away.

I don’t have anything to do with her now anyway. Dad has ended his proposal with me. That means, I don’t have anything to do with her now. I am just here; since she asked me to and Myungsoo wanted her to be here.

I am actually here in Myungsoo’s purpose.

I’m done with her.

*8*8*

The next day, I woke up feeling some weight on my arm. This can’t be Zhang Yixing sleeping on my arm.

My eyes seized tight, and opened. It’s not Zhang Yixing, I frowned. Then it hit me, I slept with Misun last night; which I think was a good idea since I totally forgot what’s been bothering me.

For a moment I let what happened last night filled my thoughts, sure it’s been awhile since I had this.

I stood up, careful not to wake Misun up. Took of my clothes that were scattered to the floor. It was still early, I doubt Yixing is now awake, he wouldn’t notice if I skip on his side now eh? I unconsciously chuckled.

“Had a good night huh?”

I snapped my head where it came from, I didn’t notice that I chuckled too loud for anyone to hear it, but this early?

And the sight surprised me, it was Woohyun and Jinhan sitting at the dining table, with Jinhan still with that bottle, and Woohyun with a plate of pastries they are sharing?

I glowered, again here I am disturbed at the sight of her. Why are they together, like long lost friends?

“Probably had a good night with Misun unni.” She chuckled, and gulped a shot from her bottle.

And that made my eyebrows knitting together, what the hell?

“Seeing that grin on his face? Chuckling alone? Must not differ on that.” Woohyun replied with a chuckle.

What the hell did just happen? Just yesterday they were throwing sh!ts with each other, and now they are eating together, laughing together, and being friends?

I shouldn’t be bothered, albeit the sight of her being like this, and sounding like this is bothering me like hell now.

“It’s none of your business, you two.” Stay still Luhan, ignore.

Yes, I ignored them, but they just chuckled. I thought I’ll have this morning be a good start, but guess not. Damn.

I went back to our room, and as expected. Yixing is still asleep and my plan of sleeping again is now gone. Fcuk.

*8*8*

The day passed with me always with Misun. Anywhere, wherever it be. Everyone will see us two always together, now giving them a hint we’re hitting each other. Well Misun is attentive, she’s always around me. Like she wouldn’t let me out her sight, though she isn’t the possessive of me like restraining me of going with my friends, but she makes it sure to be there sooner again with me.

At least, she’s distracting me. Distracting me, where she always wanted us being all over each other.

It bothers me, I don’t know why. It’s like something is restraining me of continuing all this sh!ts. I guess in my mind, I’m still grounded, and here I am doing all the things I am not allowed to. I have never obeyed my father.

Myungsoo is nowhere to be found. Since this morning, I didn’t even see him at breakfast, and her.

We all sat in the sand just a few meters away from the shore and I took a glance of the kids playing not too far away from us.

I actually smiled at the sight of them playing with the sand. The girls, with Mika are building an- I suppose is a sand castle, yet the boys keep pouring water on it making the not yet even built castle to crash down.

I chuckled, “I didn’t know you like kids.”

I looked at my side, Misun spoke as she sat beside me. “Not really.”

“Hmm, but you’ve been watching them for awhile now.”

“They just caught my attention.” I laughed.

Misun nodded, “I wonder where Jinhan is though, at this time I would see her playing with them now. You see she’s the only one who I think is pleased about those kids.”

Her tone bothered me when she referred to the kids, “You don’t like kids?”

And she snapped her head at me from looking away the shore, “No. Never been fascinated with them, they’re. . .noisy.” Misun had her head shaking animatedly as she told me, and that answer of her made the smile in my lips turned into a thin line.

I didn’t like kids too, because I thought they are just what I thought they are. But then being with them, as what she has showed me, my thoughts were wrong.

And I never thought watching them play is more enjoying than watching all these guys do their malicious moves on their own mates.

“About last night,” Misun started. I just hummed her to continue.

“Were you that troubled?” and I can hear the worry in her tone.

“Well, yeah.” I looked down as I played with the pebbles I’m sitting.

“You aren’t drunk right?”

I frowned, “No?” I laughed, “What made you think that?”

“Do you like Jinhan?”

Now my frown went deeper, “What?”

She just chuckled, “You didn’t even remember?”

“Remember what?” where is this talk going to?

“Luhan, I like you.” She suddenly started proclaiming, “But last night, I was the one there with you. The one making you forget, But. . .” she paused, and I can see her eyes moistening, hell no. What is this?

“You’re calling her.”

I stiffened. “What?”

She sighed, “It hurts. I’m the one doing it with you, yet you’re calling her.” She looked away now, and I can tell she’s straining her tears to fall.

I was left. . .speechless, I didn’t know. How the hell could that possibly happen?

“I. . . I. . .don’t know. Are you serious? You aren’t hearing-”

“It was clear Luhan, now answer me, do you like her?” Misun stared at me with her eyes almost begging.

“No.” it came out my mouth before I could even think of it.

She smiled, “Guess all I have to do is to make you forget.”

Misun continued talking, but my mind is now again lost.

How could that be possible? Never in my life did I ever call a name when doing it, and now this?

This is getting all fcuked up, as much how credible Misun looked when she told me that, I just couldn’t accept that sh!t.

*8*8*

It was almost noon when I saw Myungsoo wither gang again, and that could only mean that Jinhan is somewhere around now too. And yes, she was around just a few glances around and I saw Jinhan, she was at the bar. And before I could stop myself from not talking again to her, I was walking now towards her. My legs have its own brain to function.

“So, I didn’t see you this whole noon huh?” I started a normal talk, and how it felt good talking to her.

She glanced up, “Oh, I just went for a swim.” And how boring she answered me is bothering me, since yesterday, the way she talks to me has changed.

“Swim? How. . .” my brows kniited, “I didn’t see you swim? We’ve been there at the bea-“

“Myungsoo oppa took me somewhere to swim.” And there was her smile again as she looked up at me again, and I just realized she’s grinding ice.

And again, it didn’t miss my ears. . .oppa. Since when did she start calling Myungsoo oppa? And as far as I know, she hated that word, and only calls Yifan that name.

I disregarded that fact, “You swim?” I wanted her to talk, because damn I miss how she would annoy me and talk to me endlessly.

And she just nodded, and I have to admit, my mind went all these thoughts of her swimming. With all the bikinis, and she’s do under the water. I immediately think of something to talk more, as I know she wouldn’t continue this.

“You’re friends with Wo-“

“Luhan, I’m sorry. I just finished this sherbet for Jinki, I have to go!” and she walked out the bar holding a tumbler of sherbet.

And I stood there, staring at her back as she walked out.

I should be more glad with this.

*8*8*

Two days went by, and everything went like that. That, were she won’t really talk to me unless I initiated it, and just a few seconds I started it, she’ll do every possible way to dismiss it. It’s frustrating.

I am not used to this, where she is the one doing all act just to dismiss me, it used to be me. And like karma is being a , now I know how she felt all those times.

And now it made me think, if she’s doing this in purpose. Why? I didn’t do anything to her since we arrived here, the last time I remembered was we were all fine talking beside the beach where she came telling me wanting to be the father of her children, and I don’t think I did something on her presence to be mad about. And here comes the Tao incident, sh!t. Is she all mad because of this?

Dinner came, where we all at together. And I felt her hostility reigning more. The old aura of her being isolated in the talks are now gone as she is more casual talking to Myungsoo’s gang, and I see Myungsoo genuinely enjoying the sight. She talks to everyone, except me. Yixing is even bothered by it now, and started whispering me if there’s something wrong. And mudhafakar I wish I know what to tell him, but hell no.

And as much how I’m supposed to be liking whatever is happening no, no I don’t, and it’s stirring me up so bad.

I’m gonna talk to her after, I must.

*8*8*

I discreetly followed her after dinner, luckily she went out alone and headed to where we stayed up last time, where she told me she wanted me to father her children, and remembering it again makes me cringe.

When I know no one’s near around us to possibly eavesdrop, I inhaled a deep breath.

“Jinhan.” I said, as I continue walking behind her, she heard me but ignored me.

“Jinhan, talk to me.”

“I have nothing to talk with you.” She spat out, and how the ire in her tone gave me the thought of backing out.

I never thought she could be this obstinate; I held her elbow and jerked her towards me.

“Why are you acting like this?” I am sure annoyance is now plastered on my face, and I can’t help it. This woman is being too annoying, that I can’t help but use force in her.

“Acting like what?” and for the first time, I saw a different look on her face that look I have never seen from her, pain. Pain, where I didn’t know how it risen up.

I scoffed, “You think there’s nothing wrong with how you’re acting now?”

She looked away, “If this is being friends with Myungsoo oppa’s friends, what? I am not allowed to? I didn’t know being friendly now is giving me no good.”

Sun Jin Han, you’re tone is scaring me.

“That’s not what I mean.”  My tone went low, and if she continues talking to me with this tone, I’m afraid I can’t make this talk with her.

“Then what!” she almost shouted in front of me, I wanted to stop-

“Are you ignoring me?” It’s now or never Luhan.

And all the tension in her broke down; I felt her arm on my hold limping low. Her chest heaving a deep sigh and I thought she will cry. Her eyes never failed me, they are moistening up.

“Isn’t this what you want Luhan?” her frantic tone awhile ago has now changed on how normally soft her voice was, “I’ve been letting you do anything you want, I stayed away.”

Yes, it’s been what I want, yet my fcuking self is not used to it now, what the hell have you done to me?

“Tell me. What have I done to you for me to deserve this? Yes, you stayed away from me, but you changed! Can’t you even talk to me? Is this about Tao? Okay, I’m believ-“

“No!” her voice sounded so sick when she yelled that disapproving note.

“Then what?!” I couldn’t control it anymore, my frustrations towards her are piling up in me, I yelled.

“You shouldn’t know. Let just end this Luhan, please.” Now she hesitated, her tone almost begging me but I can’t just fcuking let her go after all these.

I grabbed her arm again, feeling her restraint. “I am not letting you go until you tell me.”

“You wanna know?” she asked me, “You really wanna know?” her tone changes and the back of my mind tells me to take back my words as I may not be able to take why.

“I am jealous Luhan!” and tears started pouring down her eyes. “You know I like you Luhan, I like so much that I think liking you isn’t what I call it now. I love you.”

I should have not asked why, I knew this will end up here. I knew she had feelings for me, but now it’s coming from , for once in my life, a lot of women have proclaimed their love in front of me, it is hers what I couldn’t take listening to.

“Jinhan, look. You know it very well I don’t do that, and not with you. You don’t have any right to be jealous since you don’t even own-“

“I have every right to be jealous Luhan, every right." she sobbed harder.

"Why? Because my feelings are real.” Her tears continued pouring down, crying ladies are not really my thing, I couldn’t look at them, but my eyes were glued on her eyes, seeing how genuine everything was. And right there I knew, her feelings are real, but. . . “My feelings are so real, that I never thought it could be more real than what I thought it could just be.”

I have to stop her, I’m afraid how hard her tears are pouring down could lead into something.

“Jinhan, you told me not to fall in love with you, it was ridiculous, but you yourself told me that.”

And I know realization hit her, I thought she calmed down, “I know.” She whispered. “I know, it was my entire fault. Everything is my fault, I should have not agreed with you, to be friends, and to be this close with you.”

“Jinhan.”

"Do you know how hard it is for me to see you with Misun unni?"

"Jinhan, stop this."

“But I love you Luhan. I thought I just like you, but it went so bad. Now I love you, and it’s sickening.”

“Jinha-“

It was too late, it happened so fast. So fast, that I only realized this soft feeling embracing my own lips, pressing not too hard, but too tight to be felt and my face held gently in between her palms.

She kissed me.

I stood there for seconds, until I pushed her harshly and she stumbled down, but didn’t fall.

“What do you think you are doing!” I spatted out, how could she be this desperate and go kissing me off-guard.

She started sobbing hard, her nails on her lips almost masking it, “I am not sorry Luhan.” She started backing away.

“You’re some pathetic , you freak. I never thought you could be this lowly sickening bullt!ng kissing me like a maderfakur.” I am mad, I am beyond furious.

She cried harder, “I am not sorry Luhan.” She continued, how the hell did she has the guts to even say she’s not sorry.

“From now on, you fcuking is out of my life, and I never want to fcuking see your fugly face ever again.” I said through gritted teeth, and made it sure she clearly had that fcuking information in her dumbsh!tting brain.

And for the last time, the last sight I had of her is her eyes crying too hard. Too hard, that I thought my eyes are about to cry.