Anger filled through my mind- no. Through me. Just by looking at them. . .

I fcuking don’t know what I’m feeling, anger, jealousy? Definitely not jealousy. Guilt.

Fukcing guilty for obviously what I’ve been doing, but how the hell this happened?! How the fcuking hell- she’s giving those to Yixing? She freaking knows- this can’t be,. . .what I’ve been doing to her fugly cakes?  I am aware of the gapping mouth I am doing. I just stared at them, just a few meters away from me, Yixing glancing at me at some seconds, confusion on his face. Einsteinette totally ignoring me, entertaining Yixing with all her sweet smiles. I wanted to walk towards them, drag her and throw those fcuking cakes! But here I am stuck in my feet.

“So. . .” Yixing stuttered, suddenly conscious of what his mouth would spill. He glanced at me apologetically and looked back at her, seems to be unaware that I am here; “You bake. . . these?”

She nodded her head excitedly, kneeling at the bench, making her elbows lean at the table as she wiggle her head like a kid on her palms. I don’t know how old is she for her to be doing that, but Yixing is rather enjoying the sight. “Taste it!”

“I actually-“ Yixing glanced at me again, and I know what he’s about to say, and I gave him a horrified don’t-tell-anything- look. He looked back at her, “I actually like sweets.” Yixing and his million dollar dimples again.

She smiled, “I know.” Fcuk. What? “Just eat all those. I could give you again later!”

Yixing is so astounded, shocked, you can’t just put the proper adjective to describe his . . .pleasure.

“Wow, oh why. . .sure! I’d love to!” here comes his smiling dimple at her again. He’d be very happy of this; I remember her marrying statement. . .darn.

I decided to just stay back, eavesdrop and fcuk myself with. . .shame? Damn. I definitely must talk to her, I know she won’t mind- she’d be rather excited to talk with me.

And I have to prepare myself of Yixing. Holy sh- I groaned.

I tight arm on my shoulder woke up my thoughts, “Luhan! So- . . .whoa! Who is that antediluvian Yixing is all smiles of?” Xiumin with all his teasing grin. Looking at Yixing, I was suddenly nervous, he must not know I’m being close with a freak.

“Well you know Yixing and his ‘sweet’ issues, there is that freak giving her Parisian sweets.” I scoffed as I lead Xiumin opposite their direction.

“Wow, you mean those were from Paris?” he glanced back at them, checking Einsteinette, “But. . .she doesn’t look like would go. . . Paris for cakes. . .and give it to Yixing. Isn’t she just a scholar?”

Scholar? I know that fact, but. . . “She’s a scholar?”

“Yeah, she’s sweet and kind. But never talks, it actually shocked me that she’s with Yixing, she never hovers with anyone.” Fcuk, now Xiumin too? “She’s actually my classmate at my hematology class.”

Hematology? What is she doing in a medical class, and in hematology? Blood?!

“Aren’t you older?” I probed him.

“Yeah, she’s actually the youngest in our class, she’s taking it just for. . .” he paused and thinks, “I think she just liked the class? Its way far related to the course she’s taking. And well she’s good in our class, she’s smart. She’s leading actually, shame on us majoring the subject.” Xiumin shrugs.

What the. . .hematology class? What is she doing with bloods? Is she really some freak? Fcuking Twilight vampires exists for real?

“Anyway, what is she doing with Yixing? She likes Yixing? I think it’s impossible.” Xiumin changed the subject.

“How could you say so?”

“Well, I told you she doesn’t like being with. . .people? Even with professors, even the professors love her being around- she just won’t stay. Very introvert, and. . .I even thought she got some phobia with humans.” He chuckled.

“She’s. . .damn, I don’t know. She’s like some schizophrenic that’s being too obvious.”

Xiumin widen his eyes on me, “What?” he chuckled again, “Luhan your being ridiculous again, she’s just smart, and well perhaps she loves to bake? She baked those cakes and gave it to Yixing.”

I suddenly groaned in frustration, “But why the hell Yixing?! How did she know that Yixing loves sweets, especially cakes?!” I unconsciously yelled.

“Whoa! Whoa! Calm down dude, calm down. Hold your hair, why are you suddenly frantic?”

I sighed heavily, “Never mind.”

“What are you. . .jealous?” he chuckled again.

“Jealous? What the fcuk?”

“You’re in range Luhan, why so sudden? We’re just talking about her and. . .yeah, Yixing with her.” Xiumin said pointing his tone with the last 3 words.

I stood up, I can’t deal with my thoughts anymore. I’ll deal with whomever later. “Whatever. Bullsh!t, I am out.” I left while Xiumin yelled my name. Damn.

*8*8*

Lunch break came; here I am looking again for that antediluvian freak. She’s not in her usual isolated place in the cafeteria, why but she’s always there! I thought of her being around the field, but come to think of it, I’ve never seen her eating lunch at the field. Geez, I won’t see her here again.

I stand in front of the field, at the edge of the cemented floor for walking. As I stretched out my tiredness and looked down, again with the wheel of fortune- jackpot!

There she is, sitting comfortably at the grass- again. Fcuk, what is her grass issues and she loves the sh!t of it?

She has the same box on her lap; she’s eating it- so she did not gave it to Yixing this time now eh? I walked towards her, “Hey!” I mumbled enough for her to hear.

She flinched, and checked on me- she immediately hid the box on her lap on her side; hoping to hide it from me. Too late but I saw it already, but the look she gave me as she hides it. . . fcuk, why am I feeling. . .damn. What is this woman doing with me, I’m feel like someone is pinching me with guilt.

“Luhan.” She said too softly that I thought again I wouldn’t hear, then she smiled like she forgot she had that dead face when she said my name. What the hell is going on?

“What happened to Barbie?” I cooled the atmosphere.

She didn’t respond, and just stared at me as I sit next to her. I need to console her.

“What are you doing here?” she asked me, not being rude.

“I’m looking for you.” I smiled, like nothing is wrong with me. . .with us. Damn, and I talk like we have this platonic relationship.

“You always find me.” Her smile disappeared.

“Don’t you like that?” I teased.

“No.” What?

I let silence enveloped us; I actually don’t know what to say after her ‘no’.

“Uh. . .about your cakes-“ I started hoping fo-

“Sorry.” What is this? I’m suddenly anxious of what she’ll say next. “The cakes, I thought you’d-“ she paused, damn I’m nervous. “It ran of stocks, uhh. . . I couldn’t give you more.” . Then what was that this morning? What you gave to Yixing? Stocks? I thought you bake them?! My mind is furious!

I don’t know what to tell her, my mind is in great damage of too much. . . guilt I don’t know.

 She’s making an excuse, I think I know she fcuking knows what I’ve been doing to her cakes, I am not just sure, I mean how would she know? Or she’s doing some sorcery again?

I glanced at her side, she jerked her body to hide it. “What do you have there?”

“Leftovers.” I don’t eat leftovers.

I sighed; I don’t know how to start it. Damn, “Your cakes. . .can you, give me?”

She arched her brow, “But. . .” she looked away, ‘you don’t eat them’ she whispered the last sentence that I thought again I won’t hear but I did hear it. I knew she knows.

“Do you have some now?” it’s what she’s hiding, for once I will eat cake just for this freak.

“But. . .” she glanced at her side, “you don’t like them.” She mumbled. “I’m sorry for keep on. . .giving those to you.” She looked down.

I don’t know, but it fcuking stung me. What is this woman doing to me, damn.

I know I must be glad that she knows I don’t like them, which mean she won’t give me those boxes again.

“How-” As much as I wanted to ask her how the hell she knows whatever that is bugging the sh!t out of me; I just couldn’t ask. I’m fcuking scared of the answer she’ll give me. “Just. . .give me, I’ll eat it in front of you, now.” I cajole her.

“No.” She shakes her head.

“Plea-“

“No, just. . .” she sighed, “I-. . .no. Just no.”

Since she won’t give me, catching her off guard; I grabbed the box behind her at her back.

“What- NO!”

I chuckled, forgetting the cold atmosphere before, “Too late Einsteinette!”

She stilled when she heard what I called her. Hasn’t she heard me called her that before?

I placed the box on my lap, thinking of what to pick- and thinking if there is any fork inside the box, unfortunately I have to use my bare hands. I sighed, picking up the one- chocolate. I’ll eat sweet, why not the sweetest?

She’s watching me intently, probably waiting for my reaction. I placed the cake on my mouth; taking a bite- I prepared myself for the sugar to attack me.

I bite, and munch, and munch, and munching, and taking another bite again, I was lost.

“What?” she looked at me with eager eyes, I stared at her eyes. . .looking deep-

“I knew you wouldn’t like it.” She sulked, and just when she’s about to grab the box off my lap, I jerked it away.

“NO!” I held the box away from her, “These are supposed to be mine, aren’t they?” I’m being greedy, fcuk, her cakes are not sweet. It’s. . .like, it’s sweet but. . .not those sweets I loathed of. They’re different; I better trust Yixing’s tongue. It’s too late. Damn.

“But you don’t eat cakes!” she yelled softly at me.

“Who said I don’t eat cakes? I hated sweets, yes. Cakes in particular, yes. But your cakes are. . .not sweet.” I keep on eating, nothing left in the box. “Look,” I showed her the empty box, “I ate them all.”

She stared at me, and I couldn’t tell if she’s pleased or what.

“I’d like to eat them again.” I smiled, it’s true. I would love to eat her cakes again, fcuk myself for not eating those she gave me.

“No.” she shakes her head.

“Why? And stocks? I thought you bake them?” she doesn’t believe me?

She sighed, “Are you here just because of the cake?” she’s changing the subject, damn. “You’re usually out, I won’t see you around at these times before.” She’s reminding me of what sh!t I am in.

“I’m. . .actually. . .grounded, you see.” She’s opening for some talk?

“Oh.” That’s it?

“So you won’t laugh at me?” I waited for her laugh.

“Why would I laugh? You’re grounded, it‘s supposed to be something to be. . .mourning of.”

I chuckled, mourn? Oh yes, I don’t have cars, clubs, women. . .

“Your finger. . .”she distracted me. Oh sh!t my finger, coated with melted chocolate.

“You have tissue or something?” she’s still staring at my finger, and somehow it creeps me.

“Sorry, but I don’t have-“

“Sh!t.” I cursed, too soft for her to hear, she’ll scold me for sure. I looked around for something until I felt my wrist grabbed by her smooth, soft, and cold hand; and the next thing happened fcuked the living daylights of me.

She placed my finger in , feeling her tongue rolling around my forefinger in , heat, , being carefull her teeth won’t touch my finger. . .I starred at her in disbelief. I could’ve jerked my finger away, but the view is too. . . to enjoy. I’m gapping my mouth like a fish, I froze. I have never done this. . .before. Finger ? What the fcuk is happening?

Does she know how the hell I’ve been enduring nights without my usual s? Abstinence sh!t.

She finally noticed me, and pulled my finger out . “Sorry!” she immediately apologized. She ran her hand up to the finger she just , enveloping it with her cold hand, wiping the liquid she left on it. How it is in my mind. “Sorry! Sorry! I don’t have a tissue, a hanky- I’m really sorry, I don’t know what I’m thinking. This is gross. Oh gosh. . . I’m really sorry! Forgive me!” she scrambled to stand up, feeling too ashamed of what she did. Bowing endlessly at me, “Sorry! It won’t happen again!” and she ran off.

Fcuk, what did just happen? I’m stoned, I don’t know. It’s probably the effect of having no women for the past weeks, but damn, I’m feeling my pants getting too tight. Bullsh!t. What is she doing to me? I glanced around, and I don’t know if I’d be thankful that no one witnessed that sudden show.A