“And, Jonghyun… I really mean it. Hurry up, okay?” Minho said before hanging up the phone and turning to his nervous boyfriend.

“Taeminnie, you okay?”

 “Yes, I’m fine.” The younger boy forced a smile. His worries weren’t hidden well though.

“What’s wrong, Minnie? Is something bothering you?” Minho asked. Looking at the ground, Taemin was deep in his thoughts. After a moment of silence, he finally spoke.

“Hyung, it is the right decision to tell Jonghyun hyung, isn’t it? It’s for umma, he misses Jonghyun hyung a lot, and for sure he wants to see him. Every time he sees Jonghyun hyung on TV with that actress, he cries. Even if he said we shouldn’t call Jonghyun hyung, we did the right thing, didn’t we? Jonghyun hyung will come here and he’ll see this. He’ll see umma and he’ll know–” Taemin panicked all of sudden.

“Hey, hey, HEY,” Minho cut off his boyfriend to calm down the younger boy. “It is the right decision. No matter how things will turn out, we owe Jonghyun the last chance to see Key and we owe Key the last chance to get well again.”

“I know. You’re right. But Umma told me not to tell Jonghyun hyung where we are and he told me it’s not a good idea and–”

“What exactly scares you so much? Tell me.” Minho questioned worriedly.  Taemin sighed, but told his boyfriend what was bothering him because he knew he could trust Minho.

“Key hyung is like a real mother.”

“I know, Taemin. I know he took care of you a lot and that’s why you call him umma.”

“No, hyung, I mean he’s like a real mother. I know he’s overprotective. I’m not dumb. But I still listen to what he says because everything he says comes true. Every time I do something he said I shouldn’t, something terrible happens.” The younger boy explained.

“Taeminnie,” Minho said, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand. “No one has ever said you were dumb, because you’re not. That’s also why I know you don’t really believe in this nonsense, so what’s the problem?”

“You don’t listen to me. I said something bad will happen because of this.”

“No, everything is going to be okay.” Minho tried to comfort Taemin.

“NO, nothing is going to be okay.  The last time… the last time I didn’t listen to Key hyung someone I really loved died. It can’t happen again,” stuttered Taemin while Minho’s eyes widened. But for Taemin, he needed to stay calm right now.

“I don’t know what you mean, Taemin-ah. Do you want to tell me about it?” He asked.

Taemin silenced for a moment. A tear fell down his cheek.

“His name was Theodore.” Taemin started to tell his story with a cracked voice.

“Theodore?” Minho questioned curiously. He wasn’t jealous, just curious. Yes, he wasn’t jealous. He was just wondering who the guy named Theodore was, since he seemed to be very important to Taemin but for some reason, Taemin had never mentioned him before.

“Yes, Theodore.” Taemin repeated and as he saw the confusion on Minho’s face, he added. “Theodore, the cuddly, fluffy, chipmunk.”

“A chipmunk? Okay?” The older boy murmured.

“I know it’s stupid to call a puppy Theodore, but when he came to us, he was so small that he didn’t even look like a dog, but like a chipmunk. That’s why I named him Theodore.” Taemin explained and unknowingly, Minho breathed out.

“A dog. Theodore is a dog,” exclaimed Minho.

“Was,” corrected Taemin. “He was a dog, my dog, and I killed him.”

Taking a deep breath, he continued. “Key hyung had warned me that I shouldn’t unleash Theodore because he was still too young. But I didn’t listen to him. I thought Theodore was old enough because he listened so well to me. I thought it’d be okay if I let him run freely for a while… It was a very quiet street. I really thought it was going to be fine. I didn’t think a car would come and I didn’t think Theodore would cross the road at that moment. I shouted ‘stay’ very loudly, hyung. I told him to stop, but that time, he didn’t listen to me. He’d always listened to me, but that time … He just crossed the road. I tried to grab him. I ran as fast as I could but I wasn’t fast enough… I killed him. Key umma had told me not do that but I didn’t listen to him. It was entirely my fault. I shouldn’t have ignored what umma had said. And now he said I shouldn’t tell Jonghyun hyung about his condition, but I did. Bad things will happen. We shouldn’t have called Jonghyun hyung. Something terrible will happen.” Taemin said with tears on his face.

“What’s the real reason that you’re crying, Minnie? What is it?” The older boy questioned worriedly. In the last weeks he had had a lot of time to get to know Taemin better, and he found out the younger boy was stronger than he seemed. He wasn’t the kind of person who was good at hiding his feelings, but sometimes he could hide his fear very good. He’d show another weakness, a little one, to take people’s mind off his real fear. He didn’t like to talk about his worries. He’d never ask for help. He’d rather silently fight the fear on his own.

“Hyung,” answered Taemin, breaking down. “What if something happens to Key hyung? What if he crosses the road? What if I can’t reach him before he crosses the road? What if I’m too late again? What if I’m not fast enough… again? He can’t cross that road. He can’t.”

Minho pulled his crying boyfriend into an embrace to calm the boy down.

“I’m so sorry, Minnie. I am so sorry, so, so, sorry.” He whispered while letting Taemin cry onto his chest. He wished he could do something to protect his Taemin from what was coming.

Kibum smiled as he saw Jonghyun walking through the door. He was having one of those dreams again. He was dreaming of Jonghyun again. And then– as always– the pain woke him up, but to his surprise, Jonghyun didn’t disappear this time. And as Jjong rushed over to hold his hand, as he could feel his ex-boyfriend’s warm hand in his cold one, he only had one wish.

Dear God, please don’t wake me up… ever again.

He heard Jonghyun cry. He heard Jonghyun apologize that he hadn’t believed Taemin, that he hadn’t believed in his love, that he had called him a , and that he hadn’t come sooner. He heard Jonghyun say that he wanted him to go back to the hospital and that he’d pay for the treatment. He even heard Jonghyun say that he loved him, but he hadn’t heard Jonghyun say that he’d forgiven him.

“I missed you so much,” he said, breathless, cutting off the other boy. Jonghyun froze for a second, finally hearing Key’s voice.

“I missed you too, Key.” He placed a gently kiss on Kibum’s hand. “Please go back to the hospital, will you?”

“I can’t,” said Key. “If I do that, one day you could wake up and regret what you had done, because I’m not worth it. After all I’ve done to you, I don’t deserve it. So please, go home.”

“Listen, Kim Kibum, I hated you so much for what you did to me. I was so deeply in love with you and then I found out you were using me. I hated you for that.”

Key bit onto his lips, hoping that the pain would keep him from crying.

“I thought I would be mad at you forever. But then I found out your reasons. I found out in how much pain you were in, and suddenly all I could think of was how much I loved you and that I have do everything to stop your pain. I was stupid to think I could hate you, because I could never do that. And the moment I thought you died, I was scared to death. That’s why I forgive you, and I beg you to forgive me too. We both made a mistake, but it’s not too late.”

“Thank you, Jonghyun. Thank you for forgiving me, but I won’t go back to the hospital.”

“Why not?”