DARA's POV

We were eating breakfast together, and as usual Yoona was the only one who did the talking part. Everyone was awkward towards me. I couldn't help not to think about the past when everybody was happy to see me.

I promise myself I would never go back here. I wanted to keep all the happy memories we all had together in my heart and...in my eyes yet faith brought me here again. To pay for all of the things I had done to them.

This is more like a Karma than faith.

Every time our eyes accidentally meet, this feeling inside me was  trying to escape so badly. I wanted to tell him how much jealous I was whenever she was near to him. I wanted to scream that he was only mine. That I still loved him so much but I just could not. What was worse than that was, I have to witness their wedding. I don't think I could even bear to stand outside the church while they finally have their happy ever after.

Aish! Why am I being so dramatic all of a sudden? This is what I wanted all along so I should have no regrets. I need to be happy for them. Besides, he is not the only one who changed. I am too. I am much stronger now. I need to be strong to take all of this.

In fact, I am actually the here. But I am a good , because I am willing to sacrifice everything just to make him happy.

"Dara, are you okay?" Yoona asked, waving her hand in front of my eyes. "You are spacing out."

"Ah, S-sorry. What did you say again?" I stammered nervously, avoiding their glaring eyes. 

"I asked you if you could come to us in Jeju Island this weekend." Yoona repeated.

 

"Ah...Why?" I asked, my mind was still hazy from my deep thoughts.

"I want to introduce Donghae to the rest of my family. You know my grandparents are really old now so they couldn't come here for our wedding. I'm sure they would love to see you again, Dara. Please come with us." Yoona insisted excitedly.

"Oh... I- I d-don't know," I averted my gaze, thinking of a good excuse to refuse her invitation but my eyes unconsciously landed on Yuri's eyes. Her cold glared seems like signalling me to refuse it. 

"Um... I am sorry, Yoona. I can't---" I started, but I was cut off by a voice coming down upstairs. "Yeah classmate! Why don't we go with them? I really want to catch up with you. I'm sure we could have a lot of time to do that there." Siwon interrupted, smiling at me.

"Yeheyyy! It's final then. Dara and Siwon are coming with us honey. This is going to be fun. Right momma?" Yoona cheerfully said.

"Um..Are you sure about that, Yoona? What if Dara would rather visit her...um... family here? Right Dara?" Yuri spoke sternly and glared at intently as if she was going eat me alive. I gulped nervously, "Y-yeah." I said in low tone.

"Come on Dara! I'm sure you want to meet your mom there too, and I thought you have no family here anymore? Your dad is in NY too, right? Unless you want to find your FISH here." Yoona teased.

"Yoona!" I blurted out yelling, making them stared with me with their wide eyes

"Fish?" Siwon asked curiously.

"Yeah, her fishboy. His long time boyfriend but they got apart because---" "Stop Yoona! Okay Fine! I'm going." I quickly interrupted, yelling again. I quickly looked down, avoiding their eyes.

"Yeyyy! It's settled then. That is a promise, okay?" Yoona happily said, "We're leaving on Saturday morning. I can't wait! I'm so excited!"
 

Pheww! I almost caught in there. Omo.. I forgot  about Yuri. I am sure she is so mad at me. I'm so scared to look at her now. Aigoo!

==

"It's okay, Yoona. I can do the dirty dishes. I don't want to abuse your kindness, you know." I teasingly said to Yoona when she insisted to do it instead.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

 "Okay then but afterwards, let's go shopping together. Okay?" she asked worriedly.

 I nodded again and gave her a reassuring smile.

"Yehey! Our first girl bonding since you came back. At least, I will have some fun before I work again tomorrow. I can't wait for my off next weekend. I'm so excited to go to Jeju. Thank you, Dara, for deciding to come with us. I'm sure it will be a blast." Yoona added, then she hugged me excitedly. "I'm just going to change. Don't make the plates shine too much!" she joked, then winked before she walked out the kitchen door.

"If you don't want to, fine! Tsk." I retorted, letting a small chuckles out my lips. I continued cleaning the dishes, letting my mind wandered into nowhere.  I didn't realize Yuri was already standing and glaring behind me.

 "It's a good thing you are doing that. I thought you really have no conscience at all." Yuri suddenly spoke, making my heart flinched in surprise. Her voice was stern and it made me freeze. The plate I was washing almost slipped from my hand. "I don't know what are you planning, Dara. I thought I knew you since I had seen you grew up with my kids, but I was wrong. Completely wrong. Now that you have shown the real you, I'm begging you... if you still have a little respect for me, please... don't ever ruin Donghae's life again. Leave as soon as you can."  she added, glaring at me before she quickly left the room. 

She was right. I couldn't blame her. What I did was unforgivable. Every mother in the world would do the same thing for the sake of their children. I couldn't even look straight into her eyes. My heart suddenly constricted painfully and tears started falling down the drain like a heavy rain. The pain inside me is unbearable. Painful than any wounds you could ever think of, and what was worst  was that... I know it would never heal again.

"You know, you are more beautiful when you smile." a familiar voice whispered on my ear, snapping me out of my trance. I flinched, and quickly wiped my tears off with my soapy hands before I looked at him, clutching my chest. He then leaned against the big oven next to me as he reached his hand to me to offer his handkerchief. "Did I scare you? Sorry I didn't mean too." Siwon added, and gave me a sweet smile.

"Oh, Siwon! I didn't notice you were here. Ha! Ha! I don't know what is wrong with my eyes. Something big must have gotten in here." I said with my shaky voice.

"What are you doing?" he smiled, "You have soaps in your hands. Let me do it for you," I furiously shook my hand to refuse, making the soap flew and scattered down the floor, even to his shirt. "Oh! S-sorry!" I fidgeted.

He seemed like he was going to burst out laughing so he cleared his throat and bit his lip before he leaned down towards me, wiping my cheeks with his thumbs instead. I stared at him, dumbfounded. I quickly snapped out when he gave me a smile that could melt any girls heart. "It's okay, Dara. You are still clumsy." he softly said, smiling.

I quickly averted my eyes and turned back to the sink, pretending to be busy washing the dishes.  I tilted my head slightly towards his direction, and said nervously, "I know right. Thanks by the way." I quickly bit my lips as I continued cleaning.

"Don't mind my mom. She is hurting too, you know? Do you still remember when she always said you were her favorite?" he added.

"I were her favorite before. Good old days." I let out a sarcastic chuckles to hold back my tears, but somehow I couldn't help not to smile as the memory of the past flashed back to my mind.

"Yuri! Donghae is scaring me!" Little Dara cried.

"Donghae?! What are you doing to my future daughter-in-law?!"  Yuri teased, making Donghae blushed.

"Mommy, does it mean Dara unnie will be my sister too? Yehey! I want you Donghae oppa and Dara unnie to get married as soon as possible!" Three-year old Minzy innocently asked, making Dara and Donghae faces turned bright red. 

"Ewww!" Donghae teased, making Dara pouted. They both stuck their tongues out to each other.

"See? You are much prettier when you smile." Siwon said, making me snapped out of my thoughts. I quickly looked down, trying to hide the redness across my face. He gave me a gentle smile before he said, "Sorry for what I said a while ago, Dara. It just...I can't believe I would see you again in here, but I am really happy to see you back," He looked down before he continued, "I am not saying I am grateful to what you did to Donghae hyung but... I know you, Dara. I know you have your own reason why you left, and I know it's a good one." he said in a serious tone, making my heart  sank and shattered in a million pieces.

I looked up at him, dumfounded. I felt like his words slowly piercing into my heart deeply. I just couldn't believe he would say those words after all the pain I had caused them. My eyes went wide and I felt my body just froze. My tears were threatening to fall again. I blinked a few times trying to hold it back. It  just hearing those words makes me feel better somehow.  Knowing someone still believes on me, makes my heart warmed after such a long time.

"Don't worry, Dara. I believe you. I'm in your side." Siwon said with a warm smile on his face. "I'll catch you later? Oh, and don't forget what I said, you are much prettier when you smile." He winked at me before he walked out the room.

I unconsciously followed him with my wide open eyes, still dumbfounded at what he said. I shook my head before I let out a chuckle, "Tsk. He still doesn't change."  I mumbled, unconsciously smiling. I took a deep breath before I continued what I was doing. Siwon, who always makes me feel better whenever Donghae and I were fighting when we were kids. He was there whenever I almost lose hope. "Thank you Siwon." I said looking down  the plates, tears completely escaped from my eyes.

On the far side, Dara didn't notice someone was secretly watching her.

==

DARA's POV

"Come on Dara... Let's go! Hurry up! Girls bonding!" Yoona excitedly said.

"Okay, Yoona. Calm down. Mall won't close until nine." I said, letting out a chuckle.

"Because I am so excited we can have our girls bonding today. It's been a while, you know! Omo, do you still remember when we were hunting boyfriends? Ha! Ha! The fat kid you eyeballed!" Yoona teased, bursting into laughters.

 "No!!! It was you who eyeballed him, Yoona. I just accompanied you because you forced me to! You were the only person I know who likes to hunt a boyfriend in the mall. Remember?!" I retorted.

"Oh yeah..because you have your fishboy at that time! He was the only person in your mind." Yoona said in a singing tone while grinning. 

"Yah Yoona! Could you stop mentioning his name?!" I muttered irritated while secretly looking around to see if someone was listening.

"Why? Are you still affected? You still love him, do you?" Yoona teased again with a wicked smile.

I just rolled my eyes and playfully turned my back, pretending I was mad. I didn't realize Donghae was near behind me. Our eyes met awkwardly but we averted it quickly. My heart felt like it skipped a beat.

"Oh! Hon... I thought you were sleeping. We didn't realize you were there. We are just going to the mall for a while.  We'll be back later. I love you." Yoona said as she ran to him, pecking him on his lips for a goodbye kiss.

I quickly looked down, pretending to look at my phone. My heart felt like it was being squeezed to death, harder and harder. They're like a fairy tale couple, totally perfect for each othe---. "Let's go Dara!" Yoona's voice snapped me out. She pulled my hands and we ran towards her car. 

"Take care!" Donghae said, waving at us. I know it wasn't for me but it still made my heart jumped in my chest. I couldn't help but to remember those days when he could say those simple words to me. Those were simple words but it kept my heart warmed and feel secure.I would always cherish those words and kept it in my heart forever.

==

Yoona and I went shopping together. For once, I almost forgot all my problems. Yoona was very kind to me. We were totally opposite of each other. She was very bubbly and talkative, and I'm so timid and quiet. She was so friendly, and I was really awkward to people. She was a happy go lucky person. She always go with the flow while I always have plans in my life. There was only one thing I could ever think of we have in common...We both love that fishboy,  I thought to myself, letting out a mirthless chuckles.

"Hey! Why are you laughing alone? Huh? Mind if you share it to me, selfish, Dara." Yoona playfully said, nudging me with her elbow. "By the way, how is your eyes, Dara?" her expression suddenly turned serious. I gave her an assuring smile before I averted my eyes, pretending to look around, "I'm fine, Yoona. You don't have to worry about me. Everything is fine. Look! That dress is pretty. The color suits you."  I said, trying to change the topic.

"Dara, you can tell me everything. I heard from your mom, your eyes are getting worse." Yoona worriedly said.

"Yoona, I said stop worrying about me. I am still the strong Dara you know. Everything will be fine. W-why don't you just tell me about D-donghae?" I awkwardly asked her, pretending to be excited.

I tried my best to smile to hide all the pain and jealousy I felt when she told me everything about Donghae. As in everything. Non-stopped. I swear! She told me every details from what she wore on that day, where, why, and how they met each other. I could see how happy she was while talking about him, and that made me feel more guilty and.... jealous even more.

"But I don't know why until now we haven't done it yet. I couldn't help but to think he still loves his ex." Yoona complained, and that snapped me out of my reverie.

"Say what?! R-really? Of course not! Based from what I observed, he looks like he does... loves you." I stuttered, dumbfounded. Mixtures of feelings I couldn't explain flowed in my heart.

"We have been living for four years now, Dara. We are sleeping on the same bed but we haven't done anything. As in anything other than kiss and hug," she audibly sighed and pouted as she continued,  "I always wear y outfits whenever we sleep but it doesn't work out. He even doesn't notice it! You know Dara... if he has never been in a relationship, I would definitely think he is gay." she blurted out, and I couldn't help not burst into laughters really hard.

"Trust me yoona, he looks really manly to me. Wait," I gulped before I spoke again, "So... you mean you haven't done 'IT' with him yet? As in you never really have... okay... um... with him...yet?" I awkwardly asked.

"No." she pouted, "Do you think he still a , Dara?" Yoona innocently asked. I just shrugged my shoulders. 

I forced myself not to laugh but I just couldn't help it,  Gad, this is really awkward. 

All the past memories I had with him suddenly comes back. I never thought they have never done it yet. As in him? That fish? How?! I thought to myself disbelievingly while unconsciously smiling from ear to ear.

 TO BE CONTINUED>>