Thanks to dokiiedokiee for the poster.❤

YOONA's POV

"Those eyes..." Yoona uttered to herself unconsciously while standing directly under the shower. Her heart was heavy squeezing in a familiar pain she thought she had already forgotten. She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself, letting cold water run over her body, letting the  cold water numb her heart.


".....I never thought I would see those expression again. How could I ever forget those cold, almost lifeless eyes. Those eyes of him that looks extremely pained. They were filled with deep sadness and anguish for his past. Those expression...I thought I would never see again." Yoona's eyes began to well up with tears as her mind drifted back to the painful past. 

Yoona's Flashback 

The sound of a siren screamed from the distance, but my heart couldn't calm down even for a second. I couldn't control my body from trembling. I felt like there was a knot tied in my stomach that kept me from breathing normally. The tears from my eyes kept flowing down like there was no end as I glanced down at my blood-stained hands. I looked down at him quickly and place my hands over the center of his chest. I tilted his head back, lifted his chin, pinched his nose and covered his mouth with my own as I blew into his mouth until I saw his chest rise.



"T-the paramedics aaa-are here. P-please, you have to be strong! You have to hold on. Please keep holding on." I said stuttering between sobs as I continued doing chest compression to his almost lifeless body. I couldn't even speak straight. I was so scared at that time. I'd never felt so scared in my life until that moment. I thought I was going to lose him...




 

~~~
 

I was walking back and forth in front of the emergency room, praying so hard that he would be alright. Everything happened so fast and it felt like it was just a nightmare, that I would wake up from it anytime soon. 


I was trying to reach Siwon but his phone number was busy. I was scared and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know his name, I didn't know anything about him at all. It was my fault that I mistook him for Siwon. It was all my fault that this accident happened. I snapped out of my trance when the emergency room suddenly open. The doctor wearing green scrub immediately noticed me when I ran towards him. I asked him if he was okay. No, I actually begged him to tell me he was okay, that he was alive.



"He has multiple fractures on his leg, broken ribs, sprained wrist, three stitches in his head, and a head concussion. The surgery went well but... he might need to go on a rehab to walk again." The doctor said. 



My tears completely fell down my on cheeks like there was no end. I was sobbing so loud, I just couldn't control it. I was somehow relief that he was alive, but I still couldn't remove the guilt in my heart.



The doctor was trying to comfort me, gently patting my back with his hand, "It's okay. I assure you that after months of rehab, he would be able to walk again. It was really fortunate that you know CPR. If it wasn't to you, I'm sure he would have not able to make it here. By the way, you must be his fiancé." the doctor added.


"F-fiancé?" I repeated while trying to wipe the tears that were streaming down my face. 


"Before he completely lost his consciousness, he was calling his fiancé's name. I couldn't hear it clearly, but it was something like Da...ri? Something like that. Is that your name? He also mentioned something about the ring. That's why I guess he was looking for his fiancé." 

I breathed deeply as I looked down at the ring on my finger. I found it very romantic that he was still looking for her even in the midst of life and death situation, but strangely....my heart was constricting in pain as I heard those touching words. I felt like I was watching a drama and I was the evil villain who ruined their love story. I didn't want their love story to end like this. I didn't want to be the evil villain that people hated, so I decided that I would stay beside him and help him until the day he could finally manage to stand again and look for her.





 

~~~

 

2 months later...




Donghae was still lying weakly on the hospital bed. His eyes looked heavy and puffy from crying all night. He was not eating much and he was not getting enough sleep neither. He was just staring out the window with a lifeless expression in his eyes. My chest felt so heavy seeing him getting worse each day passed by. I felt like guilt was slowly eating my heart. Just every time I closed my eyes, that tragic accident kept replaying inside my head over and over again. 


I tried my best to comfort him. I did my best to help Minzy and her mom taking care of him while he was in the hospital. I stayed there beside him day and night despite how many times he pushed me away, but it was not enough to make him better.



"It's not your fault, Yoona. Please don't torture yourself anymore. You don't have to do all of this just for him." Minzy always said those words, but I couldn't stop blaming myself. I know that somehow it's not completely my fault, but he wouldn't be here lying 
on the hospital bed if it wasn't because of my stupid mistake. I let out a sigh and looked down on the floor while leaning against the door in front of his room. I was carrying a tray of hot soup and some fruits. My eyes then landed on my ring finger.


After how many attempts of trying to remove his ring off my finger, I finally managed to take it off, but I haven't had a chance to give it back to him. I was afraid...I guess. If it wasn't because of that ring, he would've not gotten into an accident. At least, he would have more time looking for her. It was really my fault.




"This is not just a ring, Minji! This is an eternity ring! I went through a lot to get this. I especially made this ONLY for her!"



I didn't know anything about her. I really wanted to know who she was so I could help Donghae to find her, but I didn't have any courage to ask Minzy nor Yuri about her. The only thing I was sure of was that Donghae really loves her. I really wanted to help him regain his strength back so he could somehow start looking for her again. That was the only thing I could do to pay him for all the trouble I caused him.


I breathed in deeply to gather all the courage that was left inside me before I entered Donghae's room.
 

"Food delivery! It's lunch time! Wake up, sleepy head! You have to eat so you can get your strength back. Get up! Look, it's a hot soup and your favorite fruits. Minzy said these are all your favorites. Smells good, right?"



 

*Cricket*








"Hey, mister Lee Donghae! Haist! Why are you keep ignoring me? Aren't you tired of being Mr. Annoying?" I said cheerfully but he didn't even look at me. He was still staring out to the window like a zombie. "Come on, you have to eat. I know you want to get out of here quickly, but how can you do that if your condition is like that? Look at yourself. You look so scary like a zombie! Awooooo!"



 

*Cricket* 

 

"Aigoo! Can you please start being a man?! You are like a chicken without eggs! How could you find her if you are like that?! You have to be strong for her! Fighting!" I exclaimed firmly punching my right fist up in the air. I quickly bit my lips and looked down when he looked at me and gave me a death glare. The only time he looked at me was when I mentioned 'her' to him.





"Puhaha"




I slowly looked up when I heard a chuckle. It was from Donghae. He.../gulped/... laughed at me! I heard his laughed for the first time! I couldn't believe what I just heard. My eyes almost popped out in astonishment. I gulped hard before I able to speak again. "D-did you just laugh?" My voice croak from excitement. 




Donghae coughed and pretended not to hear anything. He faced the window again.



I immediately went near him to put my hand on his forehead to feel if he was having a fever or anything, but he just quickly brushed it off. He gave me a death glare again. I quickly looked down pouting, and just put my hand over my forehead instead, thinking I may be the one who was sick and I just had a delusion. 



"Leave me alone." Donghae said weakly.



"I already told you I will only leave when you can stand up and walk again so you have to eat now." I insisted.



"Why are you doing this?! How many times I will tell you that I'm not blaming you for that accident. It was all my fault so please you don't have to feel responsible for what happened. Please leave and don't come back anymore." he said coldly.


"If I could just leave easily like that, I already did! But I can't! I just can't. I promise that I would help you to find her and I would do that so please you have to help yourself. Just think how would she feel if she sees you in that condition. I'm sure she would blame herself. Do you want her to blame herself?! Do you think she could still eat or even sleep if she found out what happened to you?! I'm sure you wouldn't want that, so... please stay strong for her. I'm sure she had her own reason." I saw his eyes suddenly welled up with tears. He gulped hard and quickly diverted his eyes away from mine, but he couldn't control it no more. He tried to wipe them away, but tears kept coming down. His eyes showed just how broken he was inside. He looked helpless and hopeless. The pain over his body was nothing compared to how much his heart hurt at that time.



Strangely, I felt like I could feel his pain. My heart felt like it was shattering into pieces while looking at him like that. I quickly looked down as I felt my tears was about to fall. "How can someone you love hurt you so bad? Um... Ah..I mean I will be back so please eat your soup. Ah! Your new therapist is coming later. I'm sure you will like her. She's different from the others. Uh..um.. Fighting!" I said before I hastily left the room.



I quickly leaned against the door outside his room unconsiously holding my chest. My heart was in pain and it was beating so hard. I immediately took the ring out inside my pocket. "Ottoke... Haist! What is wrong with me?" I asked myself while looking at the ring.


"No one can ever own this ring except HER!" Donghae's yelling about the eternity ring suddenly played back in my head.



I lifted the eternity ring up, staring at it as I tried to think deeply, but the image of the kissing incident of us suddenly registered in my head.
My whole body suddenly turned warmer. My heart continued to beat so much faster. I shook my head furiously to remove those strange thoughts in my head. "Ugh! Why am I thinking that?! It's not like that was my first kiss! I was kissed before! Yeah! My parents, my grandparents, oh and when I did CPR too in my swimming lesson! It was a kiss! You put your lips over your patient and...
/The image of Yoona doing CPR to Donghae played back to her head./ 

"Haist! Andweeee!" I furiously shook my head. I was very occupied talking to myself, I didn't realize Siwon was already in front of me.



"Are you okay, Yoona?" Siwon asked. His face was nearly an inch from mine. I immediately backed off a bit.


"Yeah! I'm alright. I um just...practicing a speech. Yeah, I have to go." I hastily said but he quickly grabbed and held my hand.



"Are you still mad at me? I told you she---" He said but I immediately cut him off. 



"I know it already. You don't have to explain anything to me. I have to go."





- End of flashback -


 

~~~
 

"Unnie?" Knock! Knock!


I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Minzy's voice while knocking on the bathroom door. I immediately turned off the shower and put on my white bathrobe.


"Unnie, are you there?" Minzy asked.
"Yes, Minji. I'm coming out now." I replied.
"It's okay, unnie. No hurry. I just want to give you your package. It was delivered this afternoon."
"Package? Oh, the swim suits! Wow, that was fast. I just bought it the other day online." I immediately stepped out of the bathroom in my white bathrobe. Minzy was smiling at me while holding the package with her both hands.



"Wow...That was really fast. I just bought it the other day. Oh! I bought you one too, Minji.  You have to try it on. Too bad you can't come with us in Jeju. I guaranteed you it will be fun!" I excitedly said to Minzy when I took the box from her, but her face suddenly turned bitter. 


"Unnie, um...did something happen a while ago?" She asked all of a sudden.


"Huh? W-what do you mean, Minji?" I asked in denial.


"Hmm... I just felt something was different when you two comeback from the university. Did something happen there? Where is Donghae oppa by the way?" Minzy asked again, looking around for Donghae.



"Hmm...Hon must be downstairs." I said, looking around the room. He was on the bed sleeping just after I put some medication on his injured fist. I didn't even have a chance to ask him again why he hurt himself like that. Was... he still bothered by his past?"




Flashback 

"So... spill it now, Siwon! Why did Dara get mad at you like that? How did you make her dance oppa gangnam style in front of the whole restaurant?" I asked Siwon those questions, but he seemed like he was not paying attention at all. I repeated those questions all over again couple of times but all his answers didn't really make any sense. His face seemed like it was full of worries.


"Haist! Don't worry, Siwon. I know Dara, she will be okay after she eat her favorite chocolate. Don't worry so much about your fight. You two will make up in no time. Oh, there! I can see the mini-store now. Hurry up, Siwon!" I said to make him feel better somehow. I've known Dara since high school. When she was mad, she just needed some time alone to think. She didn't want somebody to keep on bugging her so I took Siwon away from her for a moment. I knew Siwon would be worried about Dara so I asked Donghae to watch over her. I was sure Donghae wouldn't bother Dara. Strangely, I felt like they hated each other. I have to do something to make my love of my life and my best friend closer somehow.


I suddenly snapped out of my thoughts when Siwon all of a sudden grabbed and pulled my hand back towards him. "Yoona, um..." He said, looking down. I felt like something was bothering him.

"Yes? Is there something wrong, Siwon?" I asked, tilting my head to the side.

"I ... I want to tell you something..." He paused for seconds. I heard he gulped hard before he continued. My heart suddenly beats faster. "About Dara, I..." He let out a deep sighed and paused again.


"You what? What about Dara? Come on, Siwon. Don't make me feel nervous like this. What happened? Spill it out." I said, a little impatient.


Instead, he shook his head and just smiled at me. "I'm sorry." He weakly said. "I'm sorry to bother you like this. I'm sorry....for everything." I could see in his eyes the pain and sincerity of his words.


"Huh? Ha ha" I chuckled. I honestly didn't understand why he was apologizing to me. I knew there was something more to it...maybe from our past, but I didn't want the past to bother the two of us anymore.



Siwon and I were walking back towards the cafe after we bought chocolates when we finally saw Donghae, but Dara was not with him. I asked Donghae where Dara was but he seemed to be spacing out. Siwon immediately run looking for Dara. 

"Hon? Are you okay? Did something wrong happen?" I asked again. I was really worried. His eyes seemed different but it was very familiar. 
My heart suddenly constricted painfully as past memories started to play back in my mind. 

"Hon? Is everything okay? Where is Dara?" I asked again. He finally snapped out of it but he suddenly broke into a ran. I was completely dumbfounded. I didn't know what was happening. I followed him as he ran towards the park. He seemed so lost. Did something happen when we were gone? I was really worried but I kept on denying that I didn't know the reason.



"Oh! That's Dara with Siwon! Thank goodness, I really thought something bad happened." I said in relief, pointing at Dara and Siwon's back as they walked away together. I felt really relieve that Dara was okay, but I was more worried about Donghae. 


"Look at them, hon. They already made up! I'm sure it's because of the chocolate Siwon bought for her. That is always Dara's weakness, chocolate. Ha! Ha! Aren't they cute together?" I asked while looking at him, but his mind seemed like traveling in a different world.


"Hon? Are you okay? You seem to be troubled. Is something wrong? You're spacing out." I cupped his face to make him looked at me.
My eyes started to well up with tears when I met his eyes. My heart ached so painfully as I remember looking into those eyes. Those expression I thought I would never see again.


He nodded and gave me a smile but I could feel he was just forcing it to hide the pain inside him. He turned his back to walk again. I could hear my heart shattering into pieces as I watched him torture himself. It hurt me so bad to see him like this. He walked closer to an old big tree with full of carved names. He was staring at it with his eyes full of sadness and pain. 



"How can someone you love hurt you so bad?" I asked that question before but until now I haven't found an answer. I wish I knew the answer for myself. It was hurting me so much when I see him suffering like this. I knew this would happen but I still let him go back to his past memories. I thought he had completely moved on. I thought the past of his is nothing now that we are getting married, but... I was wrong. She was still inside his heart all along. My heart felt so tight. I couldn't breath. It was so painful.




All of a sudden Donghae slammed his fist on that carved tree with all of his force.



"Hon?! Why did you that?!" I quickly run towards him. His fist was bleeding. I was so worried. He looked at me like he just woke up from a dream. "Oh, haha.. It's nothing. It doesn't hurt at all. Everything is okay now. Don't worry about me, hon. Everything is fine." He said and gave me a sweet smile on his face, but my eyes couldn't handle the tears no more. "I'm sorry for bringing you back here." I sobbed, hugging him very tight.

 

End of flashback

~~

"Yoona unnie? Are you okay? Did something happened when you two went to the university? I told you should have not brought him there. Those ugly memories...", Minzy paused and looked down, her eyes seemed full of worries and pain, "...they were all there." Minzy added.


"No, no!  Nothing much happened, Minji. In fact, everything went fine. Donghae seemed to have really move on. He told me everything was perfectly fine. I didn't see or feel anything strange to Donghae when we were there. I could tell that he completely move on from his past. I am so happy." I said cheerfully but my eyes couldn't seem to lie. "Umm...Oh and I met Bom and Top there. They were Donghae's best friends.  Do you remember them? Do you know that Bom and Top also knew Dara? What a small world, right?" I tried to change the topic but Minzy was still looking at me worriedly.

"Don't worry about us, Minji. Donghae and I are getting married 30 days from now. I am now counting down! See? I'm so excited! Ha ha ha." I said cheerfully but Minzy was still glaring at me worriedly. I let out a deep sighed before I managed to say, "It's okay, Minji. I know in time he would be able to finally forget her completely. I'm still thankful that he chose me and that I'm the one who will be beside him forever. I might not be his one true love, but I will assure him that I am the one who truly loves him the most. Ugh! I am so corny now. It's your fault, Minji. Ha ha. Here, try this bikini on. I'm sure Seungri will like it. Ha ha ha! I wonder if Dara is in her room now. I want her to try these bikinis for our trip to Jeju. I'm so excited! I haven't talked to her yet after what happened at the park this afternoon. I hope she's feeling better now." I pouted worriedly.

"Park? WHAT?! What happened at the park? D-Dara was there too? Did you guys meet by any chance at the university?" Minzy asked. Her expression seemed a little shocked and half-angry. 


"Y-yeah, actually we met Dara and Siwon at the elementary school near the university by chance. Oh, we also ate at the cafe near there. Bom and Top told me a lot of stories about Donghae. Why, Minji? Is there something wrong?" I was dumbfounded at her reaction when I told her about the cafe.


"Um.. No, nothing. Nothing at all. I just thought I talked to Siwon oppa about this. I need to go unnie. I'll try this on later." Minzy said and left hastily. 

 

"Talk about what? Okay then, see you later, Minzy!" I said, scratching the back of my head. I just shrugged it off and excitedly went to Dara's room to get her try on the bikinis I bought for her.





[Flashback Earlier This Morning]




"Good morning unnie." Minzy greeted Yoona when she saw her at the garage door while waiting for Donghae.


"Oh, Minji! Good morning! Are you going to school now?" Minzy smiled and just nodded at Yoona. "Oh then, why don't you go with us, Minji? We can drop you off since your school is near at the church we are going to."


"Its okay unnie. Seungri will pick me up. He said he is on the way now." Minzy replied.


"Oh, okay. We might see you there at the university. I planned to bring Donghae there later. I saw an invitation letter for their reunion this month. I thought it would be good to signed him up so I can meet his old friends and we can invite them to our wedding." Yoona excitedly said.


"What?! Um...I don't think its a good idea unnie. Did Donghae oppa know about this?" Minzy worriedly asked.


"Hmm.. Actually, I haven't told him yet. I saw the invitation letter in the trash bag. I guess he doesn't want to go because he was thinking of me. But I really want him to go. I know his past memories with her were all there, but I'm sure all those memories were nothing to him now." Yoona explained.


"But unnie I don't think its a good idea. You see---" Minzy insisted but Yoona immediately cut her off.

"I know, Minji. But I want to see it myself. I want to know if he had completely forgotten her. I want to make sure that all those memories with her is nothing to him now before we get married. I trust him, Minji. I trust him so much." Yoona insisted with a bright smile on her face.


Minzy just let out a sigh. Her face was still full of worries for Yoona. "I understand unnie." she said weakly, biting her lower lip. "Oh, did you guys find Donghae oppa's birth certificate?" Minzy added and glanced on her wrist watch. "Wait, I thought your appointment to the church is 11 am. It's almost 11 now unnie. Where is Donghae oppa?" 


"Haist, that birth certificate! I spent all my time looking for that birth certificate but until now I couldn't find it. Maybe someone really stole it. Haha! Donghae just went upstairs to our room real quick. He told me he forgot his phone. I don't know why he is taking so long though." Yoona said, craning her neck up, trying to look up on the window of their room.


"Oh.. Why don't you check on him unnie? We never know someone might already taking advantage on him." Minzy said dryly. "Joke!" Minzy quickly took it back when Yoona looked at her with her curious eyes.


"Tsk. That's not a good joke, Minji." Yoona said and raised her left brow. "Ha! Ha!  I'm sure he is okay, besides he's already grown up man. Don't worry, Minji. Nobody can't take your oppa away from me. Ha ha! Besides, Dara is the only one in our room right now. Maybe he couldn't find his wallet because of all the papers and mess I did in our room." Yoona chuckled .


"Oh." Minzy's face darkened all of a sudden.


Honk! Honk! Seungri's car pulled up and honk the horn but Minzy seemed so occupied to notice.


"Oh, Seungri is already here! Good morning, Seungri!" Yoona waved at Seungri when she saw his car. 


"Good morning noona! You look very pretty today! Where is Donghae hyung?" Seungri greeted.


"He was still upstairs. You are really funny, Seungri." Yoona replied. "Minzy, are you okay? Seungri is already here. You two will be late now." Yoona asked when she noticed Minzy seemed to be spacing out.

"Y-yeah, I'll see you later unnie." Minzy started walking, but suddenly stopped after a few steps. "But I think you better check on him, unnie. Just to make sure. I'll see you later. Bye!" she added and quickly ran towards Seungri's car.
 

"Huh? Check on him? Ah...Okay. Be safe!" Yoona replied back, a little confused on Minzy's words.



End of flashback