DONGHAE'S FLASHBACK
(Earlier that morning before they went to their appointment)
I looked at the time on the digital clock in the car, it was exactly 10:45 am. Our appointment at the church was at 11 am. We were scheduled to attend pre-marital counselling, plus we would meet our wedding planner there. We didn't notice time past by quickly as we were busy looking for my birth certificate. It was very important for us to find it immediately because the church required an original copy of it for our wedding registration. As I could remember I just got it from the mail last week. We planned to hand it today just in time for our appointment. Strangely, we couldn't find it anywhere in the house.
It was stressing me a lot since it was very hard to get an appointment at this time because the church was also getting ready for the holiday season, and we had so many appointments coming up to finalize our wedding preparation, reception, gown/tuxedo fitting, food tasting, and so much more. Plus, we were going to Jeju this weekend to meet Yoona's relatives. It was just too much to handle in just a month, and Yoona had been bugging me soooo much as she was very anxious it could cause some delay on our wedding date next month, and don't forget my mom...my goodness. Haist!
I let out a sigh of exasperation while flipping through some old papers, hoping somehow my birth certificate was just mixed up with my old documents in the car. I let out another sigh, tilting my head back to the car seat for a moment. I closed my eyes for seconds to rest my mind. If we couldn't find it today, then I would need to go back to the city hall and order for an original copy again. I would just pay them to expedite the process. Thinking of the very long line I have to deal again. It such a pain in the as$. I turned the radio on to at least relax myself from all those wedding thoughts that had been bugging me all day, but I guessed I made a wrong move. It actually made my mind more confused.
"Good morning everyone! This is DJ Apple and you are listening to 92.3 love radio. The next song is dedicated to two lovers who were separated and met again in unexpected circumstances. The guy who promise to love and protect the girl no matter what, is going to get married in a month from now. What shocking is the girl he had promised to love and protect is not the bride, but is going to be the maid of honor of her new found lover. The caller said she hopes his guy friend is listening right now and that the song will help him remember his promise to his one and only true love. Sincerely yours, Ms. Sweet corn."
🎸🎸🎸So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face~
If a great wave shall fall
It'd fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own?
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go~
As soon as that song played on the radio, my mind was telling me to quickly turn it off. It was the song I didn't want to hear for the rest of my life. Hearing it word by word was like a poison spreading in every pieces of me, torturing my heart slowly but painfully that I would rather end this unbearable sufferings as soon as possible. I didn't want to listen no more, but...strangely, I felt weak that I couldn't even move to reach the off button. My mind was telling me that I was just tired so it was okay to just keep my eyes close, but deep inside I was hurting so bad that it was so hard to even breathe. I didn't know why I was feeling this way when I should not be feeling anything over that song anymore. It was all in the past. It had no meaning to me anymore...nothing at all. That was what mind was telling me.
"If I could, then I would I'll go wherever you will go.."
It was true. I tried to search for her everywhere because I promise that I will always stay by her side no matter what. I tried everything to find her, to protect her, and guide her as far as could, but I wasn't the one who gave her up. It was her who gave up first. She was the one who run away without even giving me any clue if I did anything wrong. I was about to go crazy with all those thoughts running through my head, all the excuses I made to defend her, and all that assumptions to what could be the possible reason why she would leave me just like that. You have no idea how painful it was for me to take that all in. The only hint she left me was the eternity ring. She brought all her stuff and only left the ring I gave to her, the symbol of my ever lasting love for her.
Pfft! She even remember to take the ring off her ring finger before she left in the middle of the night, but didn't even write anything to explain herself even just a simple goodbye...nothing. I was hurt...so bad. It was very hard for me to understand everything she had done to me. I was so blinded by my love for her. I even thought it was just a nightmare. That I would wake up one day and she would be here right next to me so I waited for her, unable to move on with my life until Yoona came and give me a second chance to live my life again.
I wondered if she did even love me or she was just pitying me for loving her so much that she couldn't face to tell her childhood best friend the truth. The truth that she didn't even love me even before she left. That maybe the reason why she suddenly left without saying anything. What else could it be? She just loved me out of pity so she just decided to leave one day and came back again like it was nothing. She just played my heart all along. I really hate myself for loving her in the past. My fist was clenched tightly together and my eyes were filled with anger as I continued to listen to the song. I just realize I was still hurting even until now I finally met her again. After all those years trying to forget the scar she did to my heart, I could still feel the pain like it just happened yesterday. My heart was still crying because of the painful memories she left me behind.
What they were saying to me before were all right. It was true that I couldn't find her because she didn't want me to look for her. She did not tell her reason of leaving because she did not trust me of anything at all. That I could understand her even if she told me she didn't love me anymore. That I could take it even if it took long for me to move on. That we could only be friends even I still have feelings for her as long as she would never leave. That I would still try to be happy for her even if she were with someone else. How could she be so selfish? I wanted to understand her, but I couldn't even defend her even to myself anymore. It was hurting me so much but I had to face the truth in order for me to move on.
~I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go~
"There you go, my lovely listener. That song is 'Wherever You Will Go' by The calling. Thank you for sharing your friend's heart breaking story to us, Ms. Sweet Corn. Their situation must be very difficult right now. Our faith could be really playful sometimes, especially when it comes to finding the one that is really destined for you. Based on their situation, there could only be two reasons why faith let them meet again. Sometimes those unexpected meeting of two old lovers might mean, faith is giving them one more chance to give them a second chance to make everything right once again. On the other hand, sometimes it could also mean faith is just testing their present relationship in order for them to completely move on from their past. I wish them the best which ever path faith could lead them to. Fighting! This is DJ Apple and you are listening to 92.3 Love Radio."
Faith? Sometimes, I kind of wanted to believe that faith was really playing with us. Meeting her again at this kind of situation and the song and that story on the radio were just unbelievably unreal. Was it really faith or just a coincidence? Too much coincidence, wasn't it? If it really was faith that playing with us, then what could be the reason why he let us meet again at this time? Why not after my wedding instead or sooner before I even meet Yoona? Why did it have to end up like this? Those questions made my lips twitched into a bitter smile. Every thought that was coming into my mind were just all repetitive. I already gave up those questions I couldn't answer, and I didn't even want to find out her answers anymore. The DJ was right. She was just a part of my past memories that I had to forget for me to completely move on. That was all.
I snapped out of my thoughts when I suddenly remember Top's text message and the name of the caller. My lips suddenly turned into a smirk. Tsk... She is really persistent. I wonder how far she would go. Faith my as$.
Just after that, I saw Yoona rushing out of the house. She looked at her wrist watch while running towards the car. I immediately turned the radio off before she opened the passenger door. She looked at me with her puppy eyes, disappointment was all over her face. "How was it, hon? Did you find my birth certificate?" I asked Yoona as soon as she got in the car. Yoona pouted and shook her head. "No. Ughhh! I couldn't find it. Did you find anything here?" She asked.
"It's not in here too. Don't worry, hon. I'm sure it will come out later. " I said as I stuffed back the papers in the car's drawer.
Yoona let out an exhausted sigh before she said, "Later? When is later? I wonder where is it now. I remember you were the last one looking at it. Think where exactly did you last put it. How come we couldn't find it anymore? Weird, right?! or maybe...you purposely hide it to delay our marriage. You probably want to back out now. Don't you?! Don't hide it anymore.
Joke!" Yoona added, jokingly.
I was...speechless. I just let out an awkward chuckle, "Ha! ha! Nice one, hon. Don't worry. I'll try to look for it in my office. Maybe it was there mix up with my office work." I said in a little annoyed voice.
"Okay then, hon. Let's go to your office after our appointment. If its not there, I guess we'll to have to order in the city hall again. Haist, we really need it as soon as possible. Oh well, Dara said she would help us to find it. Actually, she is in our room right now. She is really good in finding stuff so I'm really hoping she could find your birth certificate." Yoona said with her finger crossed.
"Oh." I said, biting my lower lip. "It's so nice of her to do that." I said coldly. Yoona mentioning her name made my chest somehow heavier.
"Yup! She is the besssSt friend I could ever have in my life. I'm so happy she is here for our wedding. I will be really happy if Siwon and her would be a couple someday so she would stay here in Korea for good. Besides, aren't they really cute together, right hon?" Yoona asked in a cheerful voice. She was looking at me while talking about Dara with another guy. I couldn't even look at her right into her eyes. I was sure it was only guilt for not telling Yoona my past with her best friend. That was it.
"...and you know what, Siwon told me he prepared something for her this afternoon. Isn't that sweet? Maybe Siwon would officially asked Dara out. KyaaAh!" Yoona added in an excited tone.
"Ahhh. Nice." I replied coldly.
"Yeah... I'm so excited for them. I cannot wait for Siwon's good news later." Yoona said, but my mind suddenly went blank.
-
---
------
----------
---------------
"Hon? Are you okay?" she added when she noticed me spacing out, waving her hand in front of my face.
"Yeah" I said. "Do you know where...are they going, hon?" I suddenly asked.
Why would I even want to know?! What am I thinking asking that?! It had nothing to do with me. I don't care if my brother would ask my ex-fiance out. I don't care if Siwon really liked her or just he would ask her out to just seek out his revenge for me. So what if she get hurt? It's their choice and it is completely not my business., All those kinds of thoughts just kept flooding my mind. I felt like I was suddenly became frozen on my spot. Every sound around me became mute in my ears. I could see Yoona talking, but I couldn't hear a thing she said. I could only hear my heart squeezing in a familiar pain I thought I was already immuned of.
"No. I don't know, hon. He told me it is a secret, but he said they would go to a time machine. Your brother is sometimes really...weird. Isn't he? Oh gosh, it's 11 already. We are already late. Let's go now, hon. It very hard to find a parking there. We better hurry to find a spot." Yoona replied.
I suddenly felt like there was a big lump inside my throat. I gulped hard before I abruptly said, "Ah...Oh wait a second, I t-think I forgot my phone upstairs. I'll just get it very quick. I'll be back." I said, stuttering my words as I got out of the car.
"Oh, but... okay, hon. Hurry up then! We were already late! Haist!" Yoona said, pouting as she looked at her wrist watch.
==
I quickly ran upstairs while unconsciously talking to myself. I did not know what had gotten into me, but I was sure if someone would see me at that moment, they would think I was crazy.
"Knock! knock!
Um, Hi. Sorry to disturb you. I just want to um, /scratching head/ I think I um.. I think I left my phone in my room so I went back to get it...so that's why I am here. Yes! I'm here to get it...my phone.in.my.room. Haist! Ugh! What is wrong with me?! Why am I even practicing what I would say to her? Damn it." I talked to myself while walking back and forth outside our room. "Haist! What the heck?! I'm just going to get my phone. Calm down, Lee Donghae. It is only her. Breathe in, Breathe out.
Why am I acting so fidgety anyway?! It is just her for goodness sake! Besides, why do I need to apologize for getting my phone in my own room, right?! Tsk! It is Bom and that stupid song's fault." I walked slowly towards the front door and gulped nervously as soon as I slowly reached the door knob. I was about to hold it but I quickly turned back and walked again to the opposite wall, banging my head against it.
"HAISSST!" I groaned like a little kid while quitely stomping my feet.
I just laughed sarcastically at myself while repeatedly banging my head against the wall. I closed my eyes tight and took another deep breath. My heart was constricting in unbearable pain as those past memories suddenly flashed back in my mind. That day when I suddenly woke up in a big bed without her by my side. When I slowly opened her drawer and found out all her belongings were already gone. That day when she left the eternity ring that I gave to her on top of my desk. That day when it was raining hard and there were lightning and loud thunder above the sky. There were no stars so it was very dark outside. She never liked being in the dark so I was very worried if she was alone. I remember I was running into nowhere looking for her, shouting her name at the top of my lungs, hoping she would come back if she ever heard me. I remember that day and every detail of it. That day when my world start turning upside down. That day when she left me with nothing but her broken promises.
My heart sank with grief remembering all those painful memories I had been through ever since she left. I just could not help not to remember it. You could not blame. She was back in our old room where we had shared our past memories together. She was there in our bed room where we once dreamt about our future together. She really came back for real. Unfortunately, not because of me. My eyes suddenly welled up with tears. I immediately looked up to prevent them from escaping out my eyes. I silently banged my head hard against the wall to remind me how dumb I was for feeling that way. I was about to leave as I could not take the pain in my heart when I suddenly heard a scream from inside the room.
I felt like my heart suddenly stopped as soon as I heard her screamed. I quickly ran towards the door and leaned down, placing my ear against it but I couldn't hear a thing after that. I quickly straightened up and took a deep breath. "Why the heck would she screamed like that?!" I asked myself. I told myself that I was not worried. Not at all. "I was just..," I gulped hard before I continued. "I was just curious. Seriously." I gulped hard.
I was about to knock to check her but I decided to just peek inside to avoid misunderstanding. I silently cracked the door and peeked a little out of curiousity. I just wanted to know why she screamed. I couldn't help but to feel curious since she was in my room. That was all. Surprisingly, I did not expect what I would see at all. My eyes widened and I felt my face just turned bright red. My heart skipped a beat.
I didn't know what to feel when I saw her holding my crotchless underwear, plus she was playing with it! I immediately closed the door and leaned against it as my mind suddenly became hazy from what I saw. I could feel my heart pounding so fast. I needed a few minutes to get myself together. "WHAT THE HECK IS SHE THINKING PLAYING WITH MY UNDERWEAR LIKE THAT?!" I gulped hard, embarrassment was all over my face.
I know it was from her and I know I should have thrown it out long time ago, but making fun of it was definitely UNFORGIVABLE!
Unbelievable... She is such a ert!, I thought. I did not know what came to me at that time, but all of sudden I felt a sudden courage to get back at her somehow. I took a deep breath before I manage to say, "HON? ARE YOU STILL THERE? Let's go now! We are already late." I yelled through the door while knocking on it hardly. I did not hear a response from her but I could hear her panic foot steps from inside. I couldn't help but to feel tempted to see what was going on inside so I cracked the door open to see how she reacted, but as soon as I opened the door, she abruptly swam over the bed and hid herself inside the blanket.
It was such a funny scene, I swear! I bit my lips as I was about to burst out laughing. Pfft! "Hon? Why are you still on bed?" I asked her, acting as if I was talking to Yoona. The edges of my lips lifted up into a smirk. Nice one, fishy!, I thought to myself.
"Come on sleepy head. We are already late." I added. She did not respond at all. She remained lying on the bed not moving at all. She must have thought that blanket was like Harry Potter's cloak that could make her invisible. Pffft! Daebak!
I knew what I did so far was already enough to get back at her for playing with my underwear or I probably went too far, knowing she remained like a statue under the blanket for couple of minutes now. I should have stopped at that time. I should have gone out to the door, but I did not.
I still continued playing my own game which I called my little revenge. I was just amaze how funny she reacted. It was really daebak! I just couldn't leave like that. I wanted to see her suffer like this in front of my eyes.
That was what I thought at first anyway.
I walked closer to the bed and more. I wanted to make her feel guilty for all things she had done to me. I knew it was pathetic and very immature, but doing this kind of revenge somehow made me felt a little better.
"Hey, hon?
Yo- Yoona?" I softly said, purposely calling her Yoona.
Even though I kept on denying this to myself, sometimes I wondered too how she felt about our situation. Her girl best friend was going to get married with her ex-fiance. I knew she did not have feelings for me anymore, but I just couldn't help not to think if she was fine with all of this or she was also hurting because of our awkward situation.
As I continued playing my game, my legs suddenly felt weak as I came closer and closer to the bed where she was at. Every step I took closer, my feet felt heavier and heavier. The thought of her being on my bed just suddenly hit me. It hit me right through my chest.
The person I had been searching for was back and she was right here lying on my bed. She was finally back, but our situation was not the same as before. She was only here to congratulate me for my wedding to her best friend. I felt my heart clenched in pain as those thoughts kept playing in my head.
Donghae's Flashback
Dara immediately slammed the door shut behind my face when she entered our room. I gulped nervously as soon as I realized she was upset again. Haist! What is it again? She was very moody lately, I thought. "Hey my rabbit, are you okay? Is there something wrong?" I asked Dara but she immediately went directly to the bed, covering herself with our blanket. I tried to coax her, acting cutely for her to talk to me but she never responded.
"Hey, tokkie. What did I do again? Why are you keep ignoring me?" I asked again. I immediately lay down on the bed next to her, taking the blanket away, but as soon as I finally got that out of my way she immediately turned back to the opposite side. I quickly pulled her over against my body, hugging her back tightly. "Don't be mad at me anymore, rabbit, or I will suffocate you with my super hug! Plus, it is still my birthday. Why are you doing this on my big day? You told me I should enjoy this day. You told me I am the prince of the night so I wish my princess would talk to me now. Tell me why my princess is upset with his prince again." I asked her cutely.
"Did you read my diary?" she finally spoke to me.
"No! O-of course not!" I immediately answered. I gulped nervously as I already guessed why she was mad at me. She loved to write on her diary ever since we were little. One time she caught me reading her diary and she did not talk to me for one whole month!
"I promise, tokkie. I really did not read your diary. Pinky promise! Um, why d-did you ask anyway?" I said, defensively.
She quickly turned back, facing me while we were lying on the bed. Our faces were just inches apart. She glared at my eyes like she was a prosecutor, examining me if I was telling the truth. I gulped hard in response. "Then how did you know about my surprise party?" She asked incredulously. "Don't lie to me, fishboy. You knew about the surprise party all along! You were just pretending like you were surprise a while ago. Tsk! You are such a bad actor, you know?! Hmp!" she added.
"No! I didn't know, rabbit. I really didn't know. Promise! It was that... It was Bom's fault! She asked me what I want for my birthday, so...yeah..." I said with uncertainty.
"So...yeah? What did you tell her?" She asked back. "Don't lie to me, fishboy. I know you if you were lying!" She said sternly.
I gulped hard before I answered, "Because I told her you have been very busy lately so I was a...little jealous. I told her to make you agree to come with me for a trip on my birthday, but she just spilled it out of . She told me not to schedule anything on that day because you prepared a surprise party for me...so yeah."
"Haist! That Bominator! She really gonna get it this time. Wait, so you said you were jealous? Why would you even feel that way? I was busy because of your birthday, pabo." She asked with a grin on her face.
"When did I say that? No, I'm not..jealous. Pfft! I said...just a little, alright? Okay fine! I'm very jealous because you have no time for me anymore. I'm jealous because you still have time for Minho and you completely forgot about me." I said pouting.
"Tsk.. Minho is just my lab partner while you are my one and only love partner of my life." She said, smiling.
"Pfft! You are just saying that because it is my birthday today." I responded, rolling my eyes. I bit my lips hard as I tried to hide the giddy smile that was attempting to form in my lips.
"I love you, my jelly fishboy." She grinned again, sweetly and devilishly before she suddenly stood up on top of the bed, running a hand over her loose hair that hung down her back. She then pressed something on her phone and a slow, y music played on.
"Well, I bet she did not tell you my suprise gift for you." She added in a seductive voice while swaying her hips from left to right slowly.
I quickly positioned myself into a sitting position, leaning my back against the bed rest like an old ert. I gaped at her. "Wow, I'm really surprise--"
"Shh!" She quieted me, putting fingers to her own lips. "Just watch and enjoy your birthday gift, fishboy." She seductively bit her lower lip afterwards and slowly slipped her black thong off under her skirt. She tossed the thong over me before she sat down on my lap, dancing slowly to the music.
I couldn't hide my smile as I gazed at her. She probably had no idea how y she was and how cute it was whenever she tried to seduce me with her cute y dance.
I pulled her hips closer as she began to rock against me. She then pressed her lips against mine—a soft, slow, and gentle kiss. Then, she brought her lips right next to my ear, grazing my earlobe as she whispered, "Do you like my gift so far, my prince?"
~~
I uncounciously bit my lip hard as those thoughts suddenly flashed back in my head.
Damn it, Lee Donghae. Keep your head straight!, I sputtered curses inside my head to snap me back to reality. I slightly shook my head to remove those delusional flashbacks from the past. I tried to tell myself to focus on my so-called my little revenge.
"Hon? Are you okay? Is there something wrong?" I asked worriedly, trying hard to act like I did not know what was happening. If we were in a movie, I would definitely won a best actor award for sure! "This is nothing compared to what she had done to hurt me in the past." I sternly said to myself.
I continued walking towards the bed, trying my best to focus with my "petty" revenge, but my chest wasn't cooperating so well. I could feel my heart pounding so hard with every step I made closer. I told myself it was because I wasn't good in lying. That was just it. Lies and revenge were not really my forte. Well, not until she came back again. That was what I thought.
I gulped hard and suddenly stood frozen on my spot as soon as I reached the edge of the bed. There she was, my past, the girl that I once called my one and only true love, and she was right in front of me, lying down on my bed. My head suddenly became bombarded with so many questions I did not know how to answer. Those questions snapped me back to reality. "How far should I go? Would I be really happy after this? Would I feel better after seeing her in a miserable state like what I had been though after she left me?" My conscience and guilt suddenly struck right into my chest.
"This is wrong. Why am I even here? I shouldn't be doing this petty stuff. I thought you already moved on, Lee Donghae? Then you should be happy even without doing this kind of shallow revenge! Yoona is waiting for you in the car. Stop this non-sense now. Go back to your present and leave your past behind." I said to myself and was about to go back when Dara finally responded by making sounds like, "MmmMm mmm mmMm Ahhh Ahhh~" She uttered, sounding like she was.... "Aaah ahhH! Mmmmh! HmmmM!" she added.
I suddenly bursted laughing as soon as I heard her funny sound. "Pffff! PUHAHAHa! ha! Ha! Ha! /Ehem!/ /Ehem!/
What? What do you mean by MmmmMm? PfffPuhaha!" I chuckled uncontrollably. I tried to clear my throat before I able to speak as I was not able to hold my laughter. "Are you okay, hon? Stop playing around. We are already late." I added, losing my mind again. I did not know what I was thinking at that time, but I slowly climbed up on the bed and lay down next to her. It must be a sudden reflex from my old self. Whatever it was, I hated it... because I couldn't control myself.
I felt like I was being possessed by my dumb old self when I unconsiously reached my arms around the blanket she was covering herself with. Her familiar scent filled me as I wrapped my arms tightly around her. My heart was suddenly filled up with different kind of emotions I couldn't even explain. It was pounding hard, at the same time it was constricting in excruciating pain. I was very confused. My mind completely lost it as I couldn't think straight at all.
Damn it.
Damn it.
Damn it.
All I could do was cursed myself inside my head after I finally realized what I had done, but after giving it some thought, I decided to just continue with the game I started, thinking this could also help myself to move on from my past feelings for her. I was trying to deceive myself as I tried to picture Yoona in my mind, but all I could see was just Dara in my head. I was trying to tell myself it was Yoona I was hugging, but my heart just couldn't lie.
"I miss you." Those words just suddenly came out from my mouth out of nowhere. My arms which were wrapped around her became much tighter. At the same time, I could feel my heart squeezed much tighter in pain as well. We were like the old us in the past. The past where there were only me and her against the world.
The past where we could love each other freely. The past where everything was what I was dreaming of.
Unfortunately, the past was over and we could never rewind it again. All we could do is move forward and live happily ever after with our present.
One more chance? It was never meant for us. Not even a little chance because of the situation we are in right now. It would never happen even if we still have feelings for each other. If only destiny let us meet again sooner, then maybe our story could've had different ending.
I could feel my eyes suddenly welled up with tears with all those thoughts kept running in my mind. I slightly got up, leaning against my elbow before I gently traced her face and jawline over the blanket.
"I miss you so much." I softly said. This time, those words hurt even much deeper. I was desperately holding my tears from escaping down my eyes. I leaned my head down, brushing my nose against the blanket covering her, imagining those times I was longing for this moment. Strangely, I could feel the heat of our body despite that thick blanket separating us. My heart pounding like it was trying to rip itself out of my chest. It felt like I suddenly became high from my forbidden feelings towards her. I was completely out of my mind like I was totally crazy. I just lost it like a total fool.
All those feelings of anger, hatred, regrets, and longing for her suddenly bursted out inside my chest. My body just moved on its own as I reached and felt her lips over the blanket. I slowly closed my eyes as I pressed my lips hard against hers at last.
Time suddenly spun backwards to the past as those memories of us flashes back inside my head, from the moment we first met when we were kids up until the moment when I saw her again at the airport.
"That was not right, Donghae. What the heck were you thinking?! You just did that stupid thing just because you thought she MIGHT show up on her best friend's wedding?! What if she didn't? It is so unfair to you and the other girl! Besides, I was not really sure if what I heard was right. You know her the most, Donghae. I'm sure she would never do that kind of thing to you."
"No. You are wrong, Top. Come to think of it, I really don't think I know her at all. All I know is she left me without any clue why and I'm so frustrated because of all those unanswered questions she left me behind. It's my last option, Top. Me too, I wanted to know myself how far I could go. I just wanted to know the truth and I'm willing to sacrifice everything so I could trully move on."
Out of nowhere, my conversation with Top suddenly registered in my head and it brought me back to reality.
"I saw her in the hospital the day before you proposed to her. Remember I was sick at that time so I went there to get my meds. I was surprised to see her there since she told us she would be in Jeju until that day you planned to propose to her. I didn't have a chance to talk to her though, but I saw her talking to a doctor. I didn't hear much but she was asking about the nursery unit. I really thought she was pregnant and she wanted to surprise you since she came back earlier without telling us. I'm sorry, Donghae. I should have told you this before."
I slowly opened my eyes filled with pain and rage like I just woke up from a nightmare. I breathed deeply as I prepared myself for all the lies I had to endure again.
"I'll wait for you downstairs. Hurry up, okay?" I huskily said as I held my tears from falling down. I could hide my tears from my eyes but I couldn't hide the pain lingering in my heart. I breathed deeply many times to control my feelings inside me. It was like a poison suffocating me. A big burden inside my chest that I had been carrying around ever since she left me. Now that I finally found her, I could only think of one thing to lessen the pain inside me.
"I love you..." Those words...I finally said it after all those years I had been longing for her.
If only I could freeze time, then I wouldn't have to let her go again.
If only I could do that, then I wouldn't have to continue with all my lies again...
"...Yoona." I added. I bit my lip harder as I tried to control my tears from falling down,
but a tear just suddenly fell down when I heard her sobbed again.
--End of Flashback--
Comments