'I don't keep those sort of things'

That one sentence has been running around my head all night. The music, the cheerful chatter has gone right over my head. Sitting here pretending to enjoy listening to my old schoolmates Bye Bye Sea has become exhausting.

Numb. Hurt. Ashamed.

I'm not even considered human by his standards. Four years of chasing, watching and begging for him to love me but all along I was a 'thing'.

From the corner of my eye I see Seung Jo get up leave. My body subconsiously gets up to grab the jacket he left behind so I have an excuse to talk to him. Grabbing the jacket I race outside to catch him but along the way I stop.

What are you doing Ha Ni? Do you want to get hurt again? All he'll do is take the jacket and ridicule you for coiming out to find him.

-No, he'll ive me charming smile and offer to walk me home

Stop doing this to yourself.

-But I love him

He doesn't care. Just stop.

"Yah, why are you holding my jacket? Give it here!"

Great, Seung Jo was standing there watching me have an internal debate. Slowly I extend my hand to give his belongings.

"I was just bringing it to you"

I say with a small smile

"Seung Jo did you find your... Oh Ha Ni! What a suprise! What are you doing here?" Hae Ra says as shes walking up to us.

My heart drops just looking at the two of them together.

"School reunion" was the mumbled response she got. Whether or not she heard, I couldn't care.

"Aish Seung Jo now this looks like the type of girl that you would date! Don't know why that things still trying to get you when you have this beautiful lady to keep your nights warm" One of Seung Jos friends scream as he walks out of the reunion.

I feel my eyes start to water as Hae Ra smiles at the compliment and Seung Jo just laughs giving a quick "You know me"

Slowly I turn around to hide the fact that my world is crumbling.

No denial, no defence. Just an agreeing laugh. I really am just a thing to him.

Walk away, don't look back. Walk away, don't look back...

Finally my feet start cooperating as I turn around and make a steady pace away from the hurt and pain that only the man I love could bring.