Day 25 Thursday:

  Depression seeped in. I couldn’t and wouldn’t talk to anyone, not even my closest friend, Nana. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but it felt as if my world crumbled. Ever since the break up, I don’t want to talk to anybody. And now, it seems like Da Som and her group hates me ever since I yelled at her.

  Ah… Life is just meaningless right now.

  During school, I couldn’t even look at Jaeseop next to me. He did the same, ignoring my existence. It hurts to act as if we have never met before. My heart was screaming out to him, but I knew he doesn’t hear it. He blocked it out and went on with his life.

  I still want to know the truth, but there’s no way I could get it now. We’re no longer in contact. But still, I want him to tell me.

  No matter how many times I want to talk to him, words never come out. However, when someone wants to talk to me, I don’t feel like talking. It was as if I was a mute. I could write it down, but I was too lazy to even pick up my pencil.

  A few times, I would just stare blankly at the board, asking myself why he broke up with me. I kept wondering that same thing over and over until my teacher would scold me to write down the notes.

  I would pick up the pencil and stare at the empty notebook paper. I just couldn’t do anything today. I don’t even want to move when it’s break time. The only time I would move is when I really have to use the restroom or when lunch came. But my movements were really slow.

  By lunch time, I sat by myself at a table just like yesterday. This time, I ate because my stomach grumbled. After all, I skipped breakfast when I was running late. My mind was too crowded right now and I wanted to clear it out.

  I kept thinking no matter what. I kept thinking about various things. I’m glad no one disturbed me because I would just shake them off anyways.

  Ah! I’m so pathetic, but what can I do? I’m just a depressed girlfriend who just broke up with her boyfriend. Of course I would act like this. But I hope I would be able to forget about him. I don’t want him in my heart forever. I don’t want to carry this burden and think of him when I have a new boyfriend or even a husband.

  I sighed and muttered to myself, “What did I do wrong…” I took a bite of my lunch and looked around. Students were laughing and talking, oblivious of my presence. Ah, I don’t mind since I wanted to be a loner for now. I scrunch my nose as I saw couples eating together. They’re definitely not helping with my depression.

  I continued to look around and found Nana with her group of friends. She would glance at me once in a while, giving me worried looks. She knew what personal space means to me and I’m grateful for her not coming up to me. But I feel really, really lonely now.

  Soon my eyes landed on Hoon who was staring at me like a lost bunny. I bet he was thinking why I was being this way. It’s just a break up which is practically normal for every student, but not for me. This was the first time I have actually fallen for someone this hard and would be thrown away so easily.

  I saw Hoon try to give me a smile. He wanted me to cheer up, but it wasn’t working.

  I let out a weak smile which immediately turned to a frown. I just can’t smile today. I just can’t. I don’t fell like smiling. It’s as if my smile was gone ever since the break up.

  I pursed my lips as I continued to look around.

  I spotted Da Som in the distance with the group I used to hang out with. They were doing their usual thing: searching for someone to rank and tease about their style. I couldn’t believe I actually was part of their group! They’re just stuck up!

  I glared at Da Som, hoping she would feel a chill. I hated her because she was being a brat. I bet she was trying to get to Jaeseop so I could lose the dare, but it didn’t work! She still had her way though. She probably didn’t see it coming. She doesn’t care because it happened anyways. I wonder what my punishment will be. I know for a fact she won’t let that one go.

  I bit my lip as I continued to glare. One day, I’m definitely going to punch her in the face and show her whose boss! I’m going to distort that pretty face of hers! I clenched my fist and pounded the table, pretending it was her. I stopped when I found people staring at me.

  Da Som must have felt that chill since she finally turned towards me. She had a smug look on, knowing I wouldn’t do anything to her yet. We were in school and she has so many people who are on her side. Ah… The advantage of being popular.

  I tried intimidating her, acting as if I would get up and punch her.

  She flinched.

  I smirked and rolled my eyes. I’m tougher than she thinks. Sure, I’m an airhead at times, but that doesn’t mean I’m weak.

  Da Som mouthed something I couldn’t understand and pointed to her right.

  I followed her finger and saw Jaeseop. My eyes widened. What’s she going to do to him? I returned my gaze to her and found her coming up to him. Psh! Like he would give her any attention. He doesn’t even like her!

  I watched as she tapped his shoulder and started speaking to him. I could tell she was talking to him about me for she kept glancing my way.

  Jaeseop would glance too a couple of times. His face distorted as he rolled his eyes. I could see his mouth moving, “Get away from me.”

  Da Som flipped her hair and sat next to him.

  Is she trying to make me feel jealous? I don’t understand what her motive is!

  Jaeseop got up and walked away.

  She doesn’t move, but just watched him. She smirked and turned to me. This time, I could understand what she’s saying, “Your punishment will start soon.”

  I glared. What is my punishment anyways? I know I didn’t do anything that embarrassing while we hung out with each. Or could she be planning something that has to deal with Jaeseop? Could she be thinking of a way to bring us farther apart? Maybe that’s why she hasn’t been confronting me lately because she knew if she did, then I would cling on Jaeseop. She knew I would turn to him for help if she bothered me. Aish! This girl is toying with me!

  I stomp my foot and stood. I don’t care! I shouldn’t care! We’re not even together! Jaeseop and I are no longer boyfriend and girlfriend, so I shouldn’t worry about him. I shouldn’t be jealous if he gets another girlfriend. But then again, we will see each other at work when we get older. Our parents are sister companies now.

  Ah! Everything is just getting confusing! I want my mind to be cleared, but I’m so worried! I hate this feeling! I just want to disappear! I’m tired of feeling so depressed now that Jaeseop’s gone. He’s right there but it feels as if he’s miles away! I just want him back, but I know I can’t have him back anymore. We’re no longer one.

~~~

  Short and depressing... Sorry guys for making you feel such negative feelings... Heh... It's no longer it's fluffy self anymore now that the conflict has officially started... Ah~ Everything and everyone has their reasons as to why they're doing this, and it will all be revealed later. If not, then it's just little hints.