Day 23 Tuesday:

  I noticed Jaeseop wasn’t being himself today. This morning, he barely spoke to me nor looked at me. Here’s what happened:

  I was walking like normal, a huge smile on my face. It’s another day of school and seeing Jaeseop. I was hoping we could have another date since the party wasn’t really a date. There were too many people around and they kept interrupting us, asking various questions about our family’s company.

  Like usual, I spot him at his locker. I hop next to him and greeted, “Good morning, Jaeseop!”

  He didn’t look or talk to me.

  I tilted my head. “Jaeseop,” I sung, “Good morning.”

  He glanced at me with a pained expression. His head bowed and he brushed passed.

  I watched him go, still confused. What’s wrong with him? I didn’t do anything bad, did I? I hope he doesn’t think I still like Hoon just because we were talking more. He’s only a friend now and that’s the truth.

  I kept up with his pace and spoke to him. “Jaeseop… What’s wrong?”

  He doesn’t answer.

  I was starting to get annoyed. I snorted and placed my hands on my hips. “Jaeseop!”

  Jaeseop continued to walk, avoiding my gaze and ignoring my voice.

  I don’t understand why he’s doing this. Why is he ignoring me for no reason? I thought he doesn’t want things to be like this? I thought he doesn’t like awkward situations! What’s going on?

  I stepped in front of him, blocking his way. “Hey! Kim Jaeseop! I’m asking what’s wrong!”

  This time he looked at me for a split second before dropping his gaze to the ground. He muttered, “I don’t feel like talking right now.”

  “What?”

  “Please. Leave me alone for now.”

  My eyes widened. What’s going on?

  Without another word, I let him go.

~~~

  In the classroom, it was the same thing. He didn’t speak nor look at me! Jaeseop kept staring blankly at nothing in particular as his face scrunched up. I could tell he was thinking about something, but I couldn’t place my finger on it. I wanted to know what’s wrong, but I didn’t dare to speak to him. I didn’t want him to be mad at me.

  On the break, Hoon came up to me when Jaeseop left.

  I sighed and pouted.

  “What’s wrong with you and Jaeseop?” Hoon asked, standing in front of my desk.

  I continued to sigh and shrugged. “I don’t know. He said he doesn’t want to talk right now. He seems sad…” It pained to see him like this. I want the Jaeseop I knew back. This one is so weird and it worries me.

  He knelt to meet my gaze. “I’m sure he has a reason. Maybe something happened to the family or whatever.” Hoon’s eyes stare deep into mine.

  I could no longer get so attached to his gaze as before, but they were still captivating. His eyes seemed so pure and innocent even if he might not be. I sighed for the third time and let my eyes wander. “I want him to talk to me.”

  Hoon patted my head. “I’m sure he will.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Myung Hee. What’s wrong with your boyfriend?!” Nana exclaimed as she entered the classroom. “I was coming back to the restroom and I accidentally bumped into him! He didn’t apologize! Not only that but he doesn’t look so well.”

  I nodded.

  Hoon explained, “She said he doesn’t feel like talking, but we don’t know what’s wrong.”

  Nana pursed her lips and stood next to the kneeling Hoon. She scratched her head as she scrunched her nose. “That boy is so confusing! I have no idea what he’s thinking sometimes. He’s been acting weird since yesterday, hasn’t he?”

  I nodded slowly, staring at my desk. I can’t meet their gaze for some reason.

  “Ah! Boys are so complicated.”

  “No. Girls are,” Hoon countered.

  Nana’s eye twitched. “I believe boys are.”

  “What are you talking about? Girls are confusing! They have so much emotions and their mood changes so easily.”

  “That’s not always true!”

  I blocked them out as they continued to argue. I didn’t want to hear it because it didn’t pertain as to why Jaeseop was acting that way. It worried me way too much. I wanted to see him smile. I wanted to see him annoyed. I wanted to see him mad! I don’t want to see the expression he’s been showing this morning.

  I sighed one last time before Jaeseop returned, seeing the two fighting. He gave them a look and sat down.

  I stared at him as he scribbled something on a paper. He passed it to me.

  For a moment, I stared at it, not reading the words. But after a while, I took it and read it. Meet me at the roof after school. I have something to tell you. Please come because it’s important. I don’t want to talk about it right now because there are too many people here.

  I crumpled the paper and turned to Jaeseop. He didn’t look at me and rest his head on the table. What’s he going to tell me after school?

~~~

  During school, we barely spoke. We spoke only a few lines before everything fell silent. I hated this feeling. It’s not what I wanted! Why id he being like this? Why can’t he just speak like a normal person? All I want is a simple conversation with him showing emotions other than what he had now.

  After school, I followed Jaeseop to the roof. Once there, he shut the door behind him and took a deep breath. “I think we should break up.”

  My eyes widened. “Wh-What?” You got to be kidding me? Why does he want to break up with me? Did I do something wrong?

  “We should break up,” he repeated as his eye fell.

  I scoffed. “You gotta be kidding me! Is this some kid of prank? Did Da Som tell you to do this?” I don’t understand! I thought we were happy together…

  He shook his head. “It’s no prank and Da Som didn’t tell me to do this. I don’t want to explain.”

  “You have to!” I shot as tears filled my eyes. Was he not happy with me? Did I not show enough love to him?

  He bit his lip. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry? That’s all you can say after you suggest we should break up? What did I do? Am I ugly? Do you think I still love Hoon? I don’t, okay? I have completely got over him after I have fallen in love with you. Why do you want to break up? Tell me!”

  He doesn’t say anything.

  More tears fell as my voice grew hoarse. “Jaeseop.”

  “Myung Hee. Please, just accept it.”

  I was taken aback. This was the first time he had called me by my real name and he’s telling me to accept it? No. I’m not going to! “I’m not going to accept it! I love you!”

  “Just stop.”

  “Stop? You’re the one who should be stopping! I love you and I know you do too.”

  “You don’t know me.” His head bowed as he began trembling.

  I couldn’t believe what he’s saying. Why is he being so cold? I don’t understand. This isn’t the Jaeseop I know. There has to be a reason why he’s doing this. “Are you moving?”

  He shook his head. “I’m not.”

 “Then why do you want to break up with me?”

  “It’s personal, okay?!” He exclaimed. His head shot up and I saw a glimpse of tears falling down his cheeks as he ran out the door.

  I stood there frozen on the spot, eyes wet and wide from shock and sadness. He was crying. This was the first time I had seen him cry. My heart ached at the sight and I couldn’t breath. Why am I not chasing after him? I just can’t. My knees were trembling and soon I couldn’t hold on any longer and knelt on the ground, crying my eyes out.