"Suzy, you don't look good, maybe you should take a break?", said one of her coleagues.

"I'll just go out for a while to get some fresh air. Call me if I am needed inside. Thanks"

Suzy went out of the hospital. With a cup of hot Americano on one hand, she leaned on the hospital's front emergency room's entrance's walls. This is the only place where she can take a deep breath and escape the hussles of her daily life. Suzy was prepared for this but today, it may have taken it's toll on her. 

Suzy's good on managing stress and always stayed lively despite her stressfull schedules, but even the toughest things break when stretched enough.

There are still plenty of work to be done, exams to study for, deadlines to be met, proposals to be made, requirements to be accomplished and at this moment , Suzy's been emotionally unstable due to several factors. And all that she wanted for is to be comforted. Suzy took out her phone and dailed Myungsoo's number.

"Hey it's me, Suzy? Still not picking up the phone, do you know that this call is so expensive. I want to cry right now, call me if you're not busy ok?", Suzy hanged up the phone. 

"Who's that? Are you ok?", Suzy got surprised when she heard someone speak coming from behind. 

"Oh, Dr. Park. Just a friend from before.. I am ok, it's just that I haven't slept well for a while......", Suzy bowed and replied. It was one of the junior residents that supervises Suzy.

"If you want, you can go early today. We don't want to get sick at this point do we? I'll just sign your time card and you may go after, take a good rest, sleep and don't let what's inside take over ok? We've all been there, I know how tough it is."

"Thanks, sir.", Suzy smiled and bowed in gratitude. She went back inside to ready her things, went to find Dr. Park and went straight home. 

With all that's been happening in her life, her plans to migrate, her studies, a conflict involving hospital administration politics and with a guy whom showed interest on her and when she somehow started to have interest on the said guy, she found out that the guy was dating another one or more women at the same time. Suzy need not to waste her time thinking of players when suddenly her first ex-boyfriend contacted her again and said that he somehow wanted to start anew with her again. Then there is her problem explaining to her friends and coleagues that she'd be transferring to a different hospital in the states. Everytime that she would think of this matter, she'd really feel down. Suzy too is also caught in the middle of a conflict in the hospital where she takes her internship program. Suzy's supervisor had discharged a patient without paying their medical bills because they were poor and instead paid for the bills instead and that matter is against the rules of the hospital. 

Suzy pratically threw herself on the bed. She need not to go to medicine school not to know that she's having a fever. She already felt feverish a day ago but went to her duty instead. Her face felt hot and her movements were heavy. 

She took a deep breath and exhaled. Despite all of this, all she wanted was comfort. Comfort from a friend she had longed for to see, to talk to, to meet, to hold. 

Suzy's eyelids became heavy as her temperature gradually increases. When her lids were closed and shut all of the light and there was only darkness, breathed heavily once or twice, bit her lip and with the strength left in her she managed to get her laptop and logged to check whether if there are new messages from the only person she wanted to hear from the most at this moment. 

She didn't know the reason behind her actions, that even so many cared for her who are only within her reach, she still longed for a person who's so far from her. This person was too familiar that she felt warm, safe and secured in his presence. Up until now she hasn't found anyone that can make her feel the same thing as she felt with him. Many  years ago, it was already clear that what she felt from Myungsoo may not be love at all but perhaps something different but in a sense equal to love. 

Suzy sighed and had put her laptop aside when she had found out that there were no messages from Myungsoo. She stood up and washed and decided to sleep. Minutes passed but Suzy felt so down that it had been months since Myungsoo had sent her a message so after taking a bath she faced her laptop and started typing her latest massage to Myungsoo.

And it goes like this. 

"Have I ever told you how much have I liked you when we were in high school. Back then when you don't text me, I feel so sad. I would shut my phone for a day, and after that I would turn on my phone hoping to see a message from you. And when there is, I am so glad that I would even jump and dance around. But as the time passed, I saw how childish I am back then..... still those were really good memories worth keeping.....

We're good friends right? Right? We've grown older, how many years had it been? 6? 7? We're not kids anymore, right? But would it be wrong if I would say that me, as I type down this message find myself as that kid way back in high school,being childish at times.... when the tides are too high and the going gets tough

Would it be a childish act to demand attention? By using the word attention, I am being sarcastic right now. 

Not even a single hi in months.... Aren't you curious about what happened with your friend in the past days, is she still alive, had she turned into a zombie because of her killer schedule? Had she found a new boyfriend and is goint to get married? Sorry for being sarcastic....... You know how tough it has been on me this past days....

I always make it a point to reach out. to reconnect, to update, thinking that you may also need them. And I badly need it. It makes me happy, calm, makes me forget my worries when we're having a conversation. I don't know why, but I do always end looking for you... still.

I know you are so busy too, I know you don't have time for this, but if you're really a friend, I know you wouldn't mind lending an ear...........

I am not mad at you, forgive me for being childish........Still friends right?"

Days after, Suzy had been feeling well and is regaining her vigor. 

And how cruel of Myungsoo to still not reply...

Instead of dwelling with it, Suzy tried to focus more on her studies and work.