Note: I apologize but there are minor inconsistencies in some of the character conversations in RSDTD compared to here. I will clean it up after all of these are done. But, RSCOF will be the real thing, RSDTD will be cleaned up instead. These are just minor ones, do not worry. It doesn't affect the whole story at all. lololol. Yes, I am such a perfectionist. hahaha

I miss him.

Yes. That pesky annoying guy, Yoong.

I miss him so much.

It has been two weeks since he stopped on annoying me frequently. He just drops by my apartment once a week to give some groceries for me to eat. He still takes good care of me but I felt him starting to be distant. He's not even texting me that much too. 

I know I broke his heart. I shot his hopes down.

'I like you.' he said.

I blushed from the thought.

I... I do like him too.

I think I started to fall for him the time we met at the rooftop. Those cheesy stupid words. I know it sounded silly that he tried to hit on me when I was about to end my life. But, that was too random for me. I got caught off guard. Like, why would such a very handsome guy do that to me out of the blue?

He isn't only handsome. He's smart, gentle and very thoughtful too. He never fails to make me laugh as in all the time. But then, I turned him down.

Now, I think he's just dropping by to check out on me because of pity.

It .

So, just because I turned him down, now he won't pursue me anymore? It turned out he's the same as other guys then?

Now, I am starting to hate him.

After all those almost four months of annoying me, he's just going to stop all of a sudden. Is he ghosting me or something? Really? Without even saying it to my face that he got bored already or something?

I groaned. I quickly went to the staff restroom of the coffee shop where I am working. I looked at myself in the mirror. "Yah, Jessica!" I shouted. "There you go again! Getting frustrated for a guy! When will you ever learn?!" Tears burst out of my eyes.

The pain that had me inflicted because of this same stupidity had got me again. I don't want to be this stupid again and lose someone dear to me. Just because of love.

Love.

That had me in shock.

Love.

No.

I don't love him.

He's just a pesky, annoying, silly, stupid, idiotic guy! He's no one. He's a nobody!

I don't love him.

I don't love him.

---

My shift has ended in the coffee shop and I started to head home. Yes, I entered into a part-time job for me to get my mind busy with something else. I started this one around two months ago. It was two months after that pesky Yoong started to annoy me in that rooftop.

Well... Fine. I'm going to be honest about the reason why I took this job. I took this job just to avoid him. Yes. That's it. It was effective, though. When I'm at work, he respects my time and doesn't annoy me much. Except for that one time when he said he needed to go with his friends on a four-day long trip.

As I walked back home, though, two goth-looking people stopped right in front of me, calling my attention. 

"A mournful day to you." they both said gloomily.

"A mournful day to you too." I said. To be honest, I kind of like the greeting. It's quite accurate for my ed up life. Some of the customers in the coffee shop has been greeting me that way too. I kind of have gotten used to it.

"I am Amber." the woman said.

"I am Chansung." the man said.

"I am Jessica." I said.

It was then an awkward silence. Well... they're not talking so I'm not gonna talk either. They're the ones who approached me, anyway.

"We have a band." Amber said.

"Okay."

"I am on bass guitar."

"Okay."

Chansung then said, "I am on drums."

"Okay."

It was another awkward silence. Like for another five minutes, we just stood there. I don't want to use the mind-reading ability my late Aunt Boa taught me but I just got no choice now. This is getting more and more awkward. Oh. And mind-reading, yes. It's not exactly mind reading but it's just more of pointing out the obviousness of other people. But, yeah, my late aunt described it that way.

I then asked, reading their minds, "So, you want me to join your band?"

"Yes." they both said. "What can you play?" Amber asked.

"Piano, keyboards, violin, and guitars. I can play the Cielo too."

"You're musically inclined." Chansung said.

"Yes."

Another awkward silence. I sighed deeply, "So, you want me to be on vocals too?"

"Yes." they both said again.

"What's the name of the band?"

"Nothing yet."

"Nothingyet? That's the name?"

"No. No name yet."

"Noneymyet?"

"There is NO NAME YET." Chansung said with a very dark expression.

"Okay." I've got to learn that. That's a good way of shutting up annoying people. That guy. I can shut him up with that technique.

It's another silence. Yes. I'm getting used to the silence now.

"So, there's no band yet?" I asked. "And you want the three of us to form a band?"

"Yes." they affirmed again.

"Why me?"

"The Goths have been swarming the coffee shop where you work. You've been a very hot topic in the underworld." Amber said.

Goths? Yeah. Right. I've been seeing those kinds of emo people swarming over the coffee shop. My manager even said that to me too. That, the business has boomed due to those people coming in.

"Mind tell me what the topic is about?" I asked.

Chansung answered, "They have been saying you are a very broken person. Irreparable. That's why all the misfits, the hopeless ones, and the undead people all over the city are mourning after you. How could a very beautiful woman like you have gotten enveloped by the darkness? It was such a phenomenon."

Amber added, "And there aren't many beautiful women in the underworld."

"So, that's why you're recruiting me?"

"Yes."

"What if I tell you I have a horrible voice?"

"I don't think you do." they both said.

"Yes. I don't."

"Yes. You don't."

"What's in it for me?"

"Money." he said.

"Fame." she said.

"But I don't need those."

"Please do us a favor and form a band with us." they both said and gave me a full bow.

It seems they are eager on this. I sighed deeply. "Okay."

"Thank you." They went back standing normally.

Another silence. The deafening silence kind of makes my mind calm.

"Here." she handed a contact card with their numbers then an address under. "We saw an abandoned building where we three can practice. Let's just form a chat group so we can schedule the practices."

"Okay."

They waited for something. I sighed deeply. I pulled out my phone. They saw Yoong's stupid face as I unlocked it.

"Is that your boyfriend?" he asked.

I didn't answer.

"Is he dead?" she asked.

"He's dead to me." I said.

I showed them my number. "Here. Just add me to your group."

"Thank you." they said as they jot down my number on their phones. Chansung then uttered, "You have to change your appearance to fit the underworld more. Though you have naturally sad and depressed eyes as well as cuts on your arms, those are not enough to fit."

"Okay."

Then, they bid goodbye, "See you soon. A mournful day."

"A mournful day again."

Don't ask why I agreed. This is something us living with no purpose can only understand. We should flock together then sulk together. I think this is a good way for me to spend the rest of my days in this world before I fully embark on my journey towards death.

---

It has been a week passed. My band and I didn't waste any more time but to practice. I have decided on the band name "Nothingness". It fits us all, even our deepest and darkest past and doomed future.

Throughout the whole time hanging out with them though, I learned the ways of the underworld. I learned the proper greeting. I learned how to handle conversations. I learned how to present myself to the world. It was a good experience. I am liking the new me. I am so liking this.

Darkness.

It is not exactly worshipping the darkness. It is more of embracing the pain and the dark world. We live in a terrible and cruel world. That's the reality. Millions of innocent people die and get hurt due to harassment, cruelty, and selfishness of other people.

There's nothing in this world but sorrow and never-ending pain.

It had changed my mindset completely. It's like it had me numbed. I can no longer feel the pain that much which had damaged me long ago. Because I am already broken inside. I can sense that. There's not much destruction anymore since my heart is already pounded into dust.

And that pesky annoying guy, Yoong? He's nothing to me now. That feeling I had. All gone. Gone. 

I am dead inside. And outside too, depends on your judgment.

As I walked back home again, I happen to stumble into one of the LCD TV screen displays in an electronics shop on the street. It wa