I just watched the EXIT movie today. It was so freaking awesome. The plot was so nice and the ending was not exactly that open-ended which is better compared to Train to Busan. At least, there's a background of what happened and how it gotten solved out. It's very well-written for me. And also, Yoona baby's cutie cute cute crying scenes were so hilarious. hahahaha.

Speaking of which, I'm gonna make her parallel universe counterpart - Yoong here cry. lol such a spoiler. Enjoy!

I am regretting this. I am totally regretting this.

It was the second day of January 2010. Our family has decided to take the whole week of Christmas and until the first of day of the new year in a ski resort in Japan. 

I left Justine alone. I left her there alone. Our communication continued before Christmas Eve. Yet, afterwards, it was completely gone. She never responded to any of my messages.  

I couldn't fly back as my parents and grandmother will definitely kill me. And it's hard to take a flight back too as this season's been fully booked. But, I did ask her to come along with us here. I even pleaded on her multiple times. Yet, she said she wanted to spend the holidays alone. I then respected her decision.

I am in total worriment now, though. What if she decided to hurt herself again? 

What if she has already taken her life?

Now, I felt so scared. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to lose her. Please. Please. Please still be alive.

I recklessly drove my car as fast as I could into her apartment down in Im Gong Street. Quickly, as I arrived, I headed to her unit. It was locked.

I knocked on the door. "Justine?" I placed my ear on the door. I couldn't hear a thing from the inside. I kept on knocking it but I didn't get a single answer. That was when I decided to trespass for real.

Yuri-hyung taught me how to pick locks. He taught me about it since it would be helpful if you are forgetful about taking your keys with you. He warned me not to do this on illegal stuff, though. But, yeah, this is an emergency. I just got no choice now.

I successfully opened the door. It was dark as I opened. The windows seemed to have been covered by curtains. I guess that's the reason even the natural light wouldn't come in.

I closed the door and opened the light. I found her lying in the middle of the main room while only wearing her lower undergarment. She was unconscious and looked so pained.

I quickly rushed to her, "Justine. Are you okay?" I keep on saying her name to wake her up. She was burning with a high fever. I quickly carried her and laid her on her bed. That's when I noticed she became even thinner. I guess she didn't eat for the whole week break.

I sighed deeply. This girl... I was only gone for a week and this is what happened?

I covered her with a blanket first. Then, I headed out to get warm water and a small towel. I think her fever has worsened because of her lying on the cold hard floor. I sat beside her and soaked the small towel with the water. That was when I noticed her almost body. I realized that it's just a lower undergarment away and I will totally get to sight her everything.

Damn it. Goddamn it. My member reacted lightning-fast. The perfect mounds on her chest bestowed upon me. I feel like I am having a nose bleed due to erted thoughts.

Yoong. Chill. Calm down. She's display-only for now. You will get to win your most sought-after prize someday. Someday when she's ready to accept you to her heart. Keep your own silly thoughts to yourself.

Okay. I sighed deeply. I think that helped.

I started running the small towel all over her body. It didn't help, though. It still ached down there. It's like what I am doing is complete torture.

Damn it. I am in a complete close up of her bare chest. I feel like crying for joy but at the same time, crying for incredible sadness because I can only take a look. I cannot touch them. Lucky small towel.

I closed my eyes. Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. I didn't mean to think of these stupid erted thoughts. I just had no choice but to do this to her. Her fever was too high. I had no choice since she didn't even have a medicine cabinet right in this place. Oh, that reminds me. I gotta install a first-aid kit somewhere around here. This silly woman is clumsy and careless. She gotta need those for real.

I sighed in relief. I was finally done. I survived. Great.

As I was about to take the basin of water and towel away, I heard her utter weakly, "Yoong..."

That had me smile. I sat back on her side. "Yes?"

A tear escaped from her eyes. "I'm sorry..." She started to sob. She lifted her hand. I reached and held it. I think she's in state of delirium due to her high fever. 

"Why are you sorry?"

She cried, "The phone died. I couldn't fix it. I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, my wife." I smiled faintly. Maybe that's the reason why I was not able to contact her during the week. 

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay. I'll have it sent to the repair shop right away."

"I dropped it." Then, she cried even harder like a little girl who broke her toy. "I was stupid I dropped it from the balcony outside."

I caressed her knuckles. "Why did you drop it?"

"You sent me a video and I laughed. I lost my grip."

I chuckled, "Okay. I'm sorry. I think it's all my fault."

She even sobbed loudly from that response of mine. "Yeah, it's your fault."

It would sound a bit mean but I really find her so cute now. If she's not in a state of delirium, she always emits this very cold aura to anyone. She's very, very cold and a snob towards me over the past months since we met.

It's funny though that she couldn't help but laugh whenever I try to make her laugh. She always suppressed the feeling of happiness inside. She doesn't want to show it to me, I think. I think she would want to look like a strong and invulnerable woman.

But, when she's asleep, she mumbles my name. Don't get creep out. I didn't exactly sneak inside this room and watched her asleep. It was only when I saw her sleeping on one of the benches in Ah In University and the other, in the library. And also, that time, that time when we slept together. I woke up at 3 am that night and heard her mumbling my name. It was like music to my ears.

And now, this? Her in state of delirium? She's like a baby bear so vulnerable that you just want to hug all day long. She sounds so sweet and cute too. It's like an infinite shower of aegyo.

I couldn't help but smile.

I think...

I think I am really falling...

"Yoongie..." she mumbled. My fingers were curling from the cuteness. I think I am crying inside too. I got a pet name. She called me Yoongie. Maybe she has been thinking of a pet name for me ever since.

"Yoongie..." she mumbled again. This time, though, she started to cry. "Why did you leave me?"

"I'm sorry..."

She broke down in tears, "Dad was taken away from me... Mom left me... He left me... Now, you left me... Everyone leaves me alone..." It seems the pain has seeped into her again. She started to mumble and calling her mom out.

She's still too sad and pained. I guess the holidays have hurt her. It's probably the first holiday she spent all alone to herself. And I just left her by herself. I guess the phone being broken has gotten her even sadder too. She probably felt so alone.

I sighed deeply. Silly me. I should have stayed. I really should have stayed so she won't be lonely.

I leaned closer. "I'm sorry. I won't leave you alone anymore. I will take you wherever I go, okay?"

She sobbed then asked, "Pinky promise?"

I chuckled, "Pinky promise."

With our closed gap though, she wrapped her arms around my neck. She pulled me closer and had me buried my face on her hair. I felt my cheeks became warm. Probably, I blushed from her gesture. "I won't leave you anymore. I promise." I said. She then tilted her head and snuggled me. A smile escaped from my lips again.

I made myself lie down on the bed too. She complained a little, probably thinking that I am breaking away from her hug. As I laid my back on the bed, she snuggled me from the side. She laid her head above my chest and almost near my chin. She rested her hand on my chest and her leg wrapped on me too. I rested my arm on her back.

I then started to feel the rigidness down there again. Her leg was resting on my crotch. Like it's really on top of it. And her s... Damn it. If I took off my shirt, I would feel it on my skin directly. erted thoughts were coming in again. It isn't even helping that she keep on moving her leg from time to time too.

I was tempted. I couldn't control my hand and I had it rested on her bare shoulder. I caressed it. Yes, I am awful, I know. But, please let me have the shoulder. Just the shoulder, please. I