I was depressed for days. 

Actually, my depression has been going on since early last month. Specifically, it started after that incident with me and Sica during Yuri's birthday. It went even worse after that mistletoe kiss Jessica and Yoong shared.

I know I went over the line at that time. I know I shouldn't any more meddle with her life. It's just that... I was hurt. When I saw her and Yoong sharing that kiss, I felt so jealous. She said our relationship isn't right. But with Yoong, it's okay for her?  I mean, why? Is it just because of our family feud? Isn't that unfair on my end, though? We were just stuck in a feud. That doesn't make our relationship wrong. We're just unfortunate. At least that's how I see it.

I tried, you see. I tried to get back together with her. I am even willing to throw away my relationship with my current girlfriend, Sunny. I felt she wanted the same too but then, she held back. I just... I just really felt miserable about what happened.

But yeah... it's all ing over now. I should stop with this stupidity of mine. Jessica and I are over. For good. Taeyeon. Stop. You made it ing irreparable, Taeyeon, remember?

Anyway back to reality, Sunny and I are having our little date together in a shopping mall. We stopped by the game center for her to buy me a Nintendo 3DS XL as her gift to me for our fourth monthiversary. I gave her a necklace in return. It's not that expensive. Just three thousand dollars.

"Thank you so much, Huggieeebunny." I said and kissed my girlfriend on the cheek and side-hugged her.

"Anything for you, Huggywubsieee." she said and kissed me back on the lips.

I greeted again, "Happy monthiversary, Huggieeebunny."

She giggled, "It's monthsary, Huggywubsieee. Monthsary."

"I don't understand the difference. Totally sounds the same to me."

"Fine. Fine. You win. You stick with your beliefs. I stick with mine."

"Good girl."

As we went out of the game center, a freaking coincidence happened. The appliance center was just in front of it and I happened to notice Yoong and Jessica were sweetly and happily buying the gigantic TV and multimedia entertainment system Yoong wanted as his prize for the loyalty rewards points two months ago. They were all over each other with hugging and kissing and the skinship. Uggh. . I am witnessing their stupid cheesiness again. My rage is coming back.

Taeyeon. Calm down. Not again, okay.

Good. You can control it now. Soon after, you'll feel numb. You're gonna get through this, man.

"Whoa. Isn't that your handsome best friend Yoong?" Sunny said.

I looked at her boringly, "Are you seriously describing my best friend handsome?"

"What? All you four looked so freaking handsome to me. But don't worry, Huggywubsieee. You're still the one I'm going to pick in case I have no choice but to pick." Then, she thought, "I'll probably set myself up for a trial run on them, though."

"How does that make me feel comfortable, huh?"

She giggled, "Relax, I'm just messing with you."

"Come along. Let's go."

I decided to drag her away when suddenly, she noticed, "Wait. Is that freaking Jessica Jung?"

"Let's go, Sunny."

"Wait." She then laughed loudly. "What the freaking hell?! You didn't tell me she's now sporting a Gothic look!"

"That's her way of coping from the tragedies in her life, Sunny."

That had lost her smile. "Oh."

"Shall we go? I am not really in the mood to bump on them right now."

"But---"

Before she could complain, I dragged her away. As we arrived at the ground floor of the mall, she stopped us from walking and confronted me, "Taeyeon, are you ashamed of me?"

"What?! No! Where are you getting that?"

"It's your chance to introduce me to your friends."

"Are you seriously in the mood to meet Jessica right now? Have you ever wondered how is she going to react when she sees you again?"

"Well... Now that she has changed her perspective in life, maybe she won't bring up our past anymore and move on. You know... for us to be back us friends again?"

I smiled back at her, "You miss her."

"Duh! Even if we became rivals by the last year of Junior high school, she was still my best friend for years. The three of us. Stephanie, Jessica, and I. We were like the goodie good version of mean girls on our campus."

"Goodie good mean girls?"

"What I meant is we were good popular girls, okay."

"Look, Sunny. I know you want to fix the bridge between you and her but this isn't the right time. Jessica and I had an encounter last New Year's Day. We're both really really in bad terms now, much worse than before. And also, Yoong and I haven't really talked yet since that night too."

She sighed deeply in defeat, "Okay. Maybe some other time."

"Thank you. I promise some other time. Now's really just a bad time. I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

"I already boasted you on Yuri, anyway. I tell you. He was so envious."

She chuckled, "And you told me you will never boast me around."

"Oh come on. It's just Yuri. Besides, he's been boasting off he's dating Stephanie-slash-Tiffany that time. I just had my revenge."

"Alright. Alright. Justification acceptable." Then she looked at me in worriment. "Seriously, Taeyeon. Why didn't you tell me Jessica's dating one of your best friends now? Does Yoong even knew about your past with her?"

"It was the fate for them. They found themselves by destiny. She didn't get to open up the truth to him and me too towards him."

"Or you chose not to?"

"Because there's no reason for him to know."

"Taeyeon. I am not forcing you on this, but... don't you think it's time for you to distance yourself from them?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I am saying transfer to Changseok University. It's not exactly abandoning your friends. You can still hang out with them after school. But at least, you'll have the space you want to completely move on from her."

"Okay, I'll think about it..."

"Changseok is a better university for engineering studies, Huggywubsieee. It's better for the career you wanted too."

"Okay."

"Trust me. It's going to be good for you."

---

A random moment has happened before the continuation of the Sophomore year. Tiffany was gone and nowhere to be found for straight twelve hours. All of us, except for Sooyoung, looked for her all over the city. And you know where we found her? In a freaking dumpster and she was so freaking drunk.

You know... Tiffany is actually a very random person. But what's weird is, all of the things happening to her are all so freaking random too. That fire at the spooky building... I bet that fake bombing incident had something to do with her too. And now, this?

After we were successful in finding Tiffany, Yuri took her home. Yoong and Jessica went in the same direction while Hyoyeon and I left together as well. We happened to have the same direction way home too.

"That was so freaking random." I said.

"Yeah..." Hyoyeon said. "Why on Earth she ended up in a dumpster, really?"

"Hmmm. I remember Yuri told me once that Tiffany happened to live in a dumpster right before she actually lived in the Spooky building. I guess that's where he got the idea on where to actually find his girlfriend."

"That seems to be a good deduction of possibilities. Yuri's really damn smart."

"Yeah. If that happened to me and lost my girl, I wouldn't have a freaking single clue where to find her."

She then retorted, "If you can't find her, she'll always just be in Yoong's place."

I glared at her, "The hell, Hyoyeon. That was uncalled for."

She then looked at me boringly, "Really, huh? Is it?"

I groaned, "Just ing spill it out.  Why are you insisting me and Jessica again?"

"I am not. You are the one insisting on it."

"What the hell?!"

"Taeyeon. We both remember Yoong called dibs on her but still, that didn't stop you from charming Jessica with your cutie cute cute puppy face. You're even imposing implied restrictions on her. It's like you're still marking her as your 'girl' with what you're doing lately. You're making her feel you're in control of her life."

"The hell! Stop accusing me, Hyoyeon!"

"Really? Because from how I see it last New Year's Day, you were like guilting her out from finally giving Yoong a chance."

"I did not--"

"Oh yeah? Do you think I didn't notice that? Even during Yuri's birthday last month too. We talked that time and you denied something happened between you and Jessica that morning. I knew you lied to me. You did try to pursue her again and I could feel that. Jessica may know how to read minds, but the hell I am not dumb enough not to know how to read the situation."

"Stop with the unfair accusations. As I told you before, Jessica and I are over. There's no way I'm gonna try to be back together with her. And whatever she decides in her life, that's already outside me. I am not controlling her. Don't you ever accuse me that again."

"Fine. But for not getting back together with her, is that a promise? Just like the last time when you helped out Yoong last year of May?"

"Yes."

"Then, I am hopelessly hoping you will not break these two promises of yours, Taeyeon. You had your chance to make things right months ago. You're supposed to have come clean on Yoong about your past with her. But, you didn't."

"You know what? You are being ridiculous. We were just talking about Tiffany's random missing incident. Then, you are suddenly bringing this up?"

"Can't help. I saw how much you looked so jealous when you saw Sica and Yoong holding hands earlier while we're on the search. See that, Taeng? Even if you say you're not deliberately hitting on Jess, you looked so damn upset about them and shows your extreme disapproval. You always seemed like you wanted to pick a fight with Yoong. Just like earlier too."

"You do know he's the one who started that. He freaking insulted my guess as to why Tiffany ended up in a dumpster."

She looked at me boringly again, "It's ridiculous. Anyone would find it the same. Seriously, your theory was Tiff being mistaken as a mannequin and was thrown out? Really?"

"Go ahead. Side with Yoong."

She then sighed loudly, "Alright. Alright. I'll stop." Then, she looked at me straight in the eyes. "Taeyeon."

"Yeah?"

"You have to tell Yoong."

"Tell him what?"

"Yoong isn't stupid. He's just acting stupid now because he doesn't want to confront Jessica about it. But, I know he has this feeling you are that ex-boyfriend of hers. Now, it's your turn to make things right. Freaking admit to him the whole truth. Come clean, Taeyeon. Fight fair."

"There's nothing to fight for."

"No, I don't think so."

I avoided her gaze.

"I knew you looked up to Sooyoung once and he became your mentor. I knew that bull explanation of his that there's no such thing as fighting fair but there really is. You do know that."

"..."

"I am begging you."

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