"Yoona."

"..."

"Yoona~~"

"..."

"Yoona~~" Jessica whispered in my ear then giggled so cutely. We're on our bed just lying down on a boring afternoon.

I looked at her boringly, "Seriously? Are you not going to stop on that?"

She giggled again then hugged me from the sides. "What? Your real name's too cute, you know." She rested her head on my shoulder. "Yoona~~" she teased and giggled again.

Apparently, when Yuri-hyung and I got out, we headed straight to the hospital, and my dad sort of revealed to her, Tiffany-noona and Yuri-hyung my birth name. Yes. It is Yoona. My real name is Yoona. Born and bore a girl's name for many years. How did I get the name? My mom happened to be in delirium when she forced my dad to name me 'Yoona' after she gave birth to me. Dad just got no choice but to agree. When she came into her senses like after a few days, I guess? She freaking realized I was not a girl.

Yeah. Yeah. It was ridiculous. They decided not to change it, though. My silly parents made me suffer a very embarrassing childhood.

"Stop teasing me that. You do know enough that one is something I want to bury and forget forever." I said and pouted.

She kissed me on the lips, "But I love your real name."

"You love my real name more than me?"

She chuckled, "You are so silly."

"Come on. Say it. Do you love Yoona more than Yoong?"

She faked a loud sigh. "Fine. I will stop teasing you."

"Good girl." I kissed her on her forehead and we continued to cuddle.

After a few moments, she asked, "When did you get your name changed?"

"When I was twelve, I guess? Someone told me I could change my name permanently."

"You didn't know?"

"Sort of. I was a kid, okay."

"Why the name Yoong, though?"

I chuckled, "Do you have a better name for me?"

"Hmmmmm..."

"What?"

"I don't know..."

"It's hard to think of a name that won't change who I am, you know."

"Well... If you thought of changing one letter or a syllable, you should have gone for Yoonho, Yuno, or something."

"Oh."

"..."

"..."

"What?" she asked and chuckled as she looked at me.

"I didn't realize that."

She chuckled again. "See how smart I am?"

"Yes." I kissed her temple. "You are so damn smart. I think you're even smarter than me. You're just lazy."

"You are so damn full of yourself, aren't you? Did you just assume you are smart?"

"Am I not?"

She giggled and kissed my cheek, "I love you."

"And what's with the random I love you again?"

"I'm just reminding you."

I sighed, "What is it this time?"

She lied her back on her side of the bed. "Just in case you forget."

I lied on my side, facing her. "Spill it."

She sighed softly then confessed, "That Seohyun..."

"Again? Baby, how many times do you want me to tell you Joohyun and I are nothing but just friends?"

She looked at me in worriment, "Why do you still call her Joohyun?"

I chuckled, "That's her real name, you know."

"Yeah, I know. But that's not my point. We all call her Seohyun but you still call her Joohyun."

"So, what's the point on that?"

She got irritated and responded, "Are you telling me I don't make sense?"

"No. I am telling you that you are just adding up colors to something you are not supposed to be." I pulled her to me and hugged her tightly. "I don't love her. I never loved her. It has always been you and only you."

She looked straight into my eyes as she pouted cutely, "Promise?"

"Yes. I promise." I kissed her nose. "Now, stop getting jealous. It doesn't suit you."

"Yah!" she complained and slapped me on my arm.

"What? It doesn't really suit you, okay. I mean, you are very beautiful and perfect. You have no right to be jealous."

"I could be too perfect for you."

I chuckled, "The high wind of confidence is too much blowing right on my face."

She giggled then she snuggled me again, "You are too perfect for me that's why I am jealous."

"I love you. You are my only one. Don't ever forget that." I kissed her forehead.

"I love you too." She kissed me on the lips.

"Am I the only one?"

"Of course. Are you saying I'm cheating on you?"

"I mean, only one in your heart?"

"Of course."

"Promise?"

"Yes." She looked at me quizzically. "Where is this coming from?"

"Nowhere. Can I ask a question though? A hypothetical question."

"Fine."

"If ever Yuri-hyung, Taeyeon-hyung, Sooyoung, and I pursued you at the same time, do I still have a chance on you?"

She chuckled, "Ridiculous. Do you think Yuri will ever fall for me? He got his eyes glued on my bestie even before he met her for real."

"It's just a hypothetical question, okay."

She sighed, "Alright. I'll answer. Of course, you still do."

"Will I win against them?"

"Who did I choose now? Isn't it you?"

"Yeah but assuming the four of us---"

"Yoong. Stop looking down on yourself. It doesn't suit you. I will always choose you, okay."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"What's my edge against Yuri-hyung?"

"Yuri's more of a yes-man than you. Always abides by my orders. He's funny but he's just serious most of the time. We're too much the same personality too so I don't think we will work out."

"How about Sooyoung?"

She chuckled, "Sooyoung is too funny for me. He may be fun to be around with but not really my cup of tea. Maybe he's Tiffany's cup of tea since he's kind of dark, handsome and tall. He got this cool vibe too."

I chuckled, "With all those adjectives, and yet you say he's not your cup of tea?"

"He really is not, I swear."

"How about Taeyeon-hyung?"

"Taeyeon's too short for me."

We both laughed. "You are silly." I said. "Only because he's short, you're going to turn him down?"

"And he always teases me, okay." Then, she redirected, "Come on. Let's stop talking about your silly hyungs."

"You haven't told me what's my edge against Taeyeon-hyung, though. I mean, not on height."

"Well..." She sighed. "You are smarter. You are more handsome. You are taller and perfect height for me. Height is a factor, okay. Don't complain."

"He's a better singer. He could sing for you for the rest of your life."

"I can just ask him to sing anytime. So, that's not really something you should consider as a factor."

"Really? That's not a factor?"

She sighed loudly. "Fine. It's a factor. Only to Taeyeon, though. I mean..." She smiled softly as she looked away. "Whenever Taeyeon sings, he calms me down."

"..."

"Even if my world is starting to go into chaos, just hearing his voice, singing to me, makes me feel healed or something. Like, everything's going to be okay."

She then paused into silence. It seems to me she reminisced a part of her past with hyung as a bitter smile drawn on her face.

"I cannot blame you for that." I uttered which made her look at me. "Whenever Taeyeon-hyung sings, we just stop on what we're doing and just listen."

"Taeyeon could become a music artist."

"He said he didn't want to."

"Yeah. That guy doesn't want any spotlight or attention over him. He's too awkward whenever everyone's focus is on him." She chuckled as she stared at the ceiling. "He always looks down to himself saying he's not better than any of you or any of other guys. He always thinks he's the weakest link. He doesn't realize his difference is what makes him..." She didn't continue and went to a brief silence again. I just happened to stare at her.

I cannot blame her for falling in love with Taeyeon-hyung. He's a very nice and unique guy. He may be complicated at times but he's genuine. He's sincere.

And right now. Sadness is starting to consume me. I feel like I am the one holding her back.

This is just temporary.

I am just temporary for her.

"Yoong?" she called. She's now looking at me with a hint of confusion in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"So what's my edge on him?" I asked.

She smiled, "I fell in love with you."

"Why?"

"Because you make me feel everything is in the right place. You make me feel that there is a future for me. You make me feel there is something to look forward to each and every day." She placed her hand on my cheek and caressed it, "You make me feel of not looking back at the past and instead look forward to us... to where we are going to."

"I still don't understand why..."

"Well... A local philosopher once told me, no one can really explain why a person loves another person. Love is a very mysterious feeling. No one can actually justify why. It's like you're asking yourself what's your purpose in this life."

"Yuri-hyung?"

She chuckled, "Yeah."

"I see."

"You haven't told me why you love me."

"You make me feel the same."

"No copying!"

I chuckled, "It's the truth. I think you're the one who copied me. I remember I told you the same thing on why I liked you years ago."

She then smiled warmly as she traced my eyebrow with her finger. "I am serious about what I said before, Yoong. I want to start a family with you."

"Jessica..."

"Do you not want to?"

"I want to, okay."

"Then, why hesitate?"

"I don't want you to rush into a decision you might regret in the end. Starting a family is not that easy."

"Look at my bestie and Yul."

"They're struggling."

"But happy."

"I know but..." I sighed. "I am just... scared. I may not be as good as Yuri-hyung in raising a family, okay."

"You are better than him."

"You are just saying that."

She cupped my face with her hands. "Make love to me." She kissed my lips. "I want to have a family with you."

"You sure?"

"Yes. I was never on pills ever since."

"Wait. What?"

She chuckled, "Yeah I kept it from you."

"So all these months, we've been trying already?"

"Yeah. And I don't know why we couldn't even be successful. You should have your checked, Yoongie. But yeah, let's try out again." She went to sit on my torso and removed her upper garment.

"I am still shocked. Let me just process this. Can I?"

"Oh. Don't be such a baby. I am still not pregnant, okay."

"Yah. Jessica."

And she didn't stop. She started to assault me with her heavily addicting kisses as she unbuckled my belt. This. This aggressiveness. I am going to miss this.

This is just temporary.

I am just temporary for her.

---