I had gone against everything Namjoon had instructed just to please Jungkook. And oh god, do I regret it.

The scariest part of it all was it isn't hard to give in. Jungkook has this way with words. He's always been good when it came to convincing others. You can never tell if he's being genuine or doing something for his own gain. I know this better than anyone else, and yet I fell for it anyway.

But God, that night. It replays in my head when I only want to forget. I want to forget the sweet words and soft kisses, the way he cared for me and wouldn't push me beyond my boundaries. I wish I could forget his lust-filled eyes as I gave into him. I want to forget how charming he is, how I could feel myself wanting nothing more than to please him. I hate him, but I hate myself more. How could I fall for something like this?

I peaked up at the younger male whose fingers were gently carding through my hair. He looked down at me with loving eyes and a soft smile before wrapping an arm around me, tugging me closer.

"Hey," he mumbled.

His morning voice is deep and raspy. It never fails to send chills all over my body. I feel disgusting.

"Hi," I whisper back, and he laughs.

He lets his hand drop down to cup my cheek before pecking my lips over and over again.

"You're so beautiful," He muttered on my lips.

I pulled back and forced a smile on my face. "Let me get up, Kookie," I mutter, but he shakes his head and hugs me a bit tighter.

I manage to get out of his grip and caress his cheek watching as he snuggled in closer to my touch. All of this is so ed up.

"I'm just going to go make breakfast," I answer, sliding out from the younger's side.

"Are you going to avoid me again?" Jungkook asks with a chuckle.

I freeze in place at his question for a second before mustering up a fake smile. "What are you talking about?" I question. It's better if I pretend not to know.

Jungkook sits up and leans up against the headboard."C'mon, you do this all the time when things get intimate between us. You ignore me and act all cold."

There's this smug look on his face as if he knows.I try to smile, but it comes out more as a grimace as I nod.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I'll stop."

That's a lie. I do that on purpose. Maybe if Jungkook hates me, this will all stop.

Jungkook scoffs, "So this is it? We'll go back to pretending nothing ever happened between us-"

And there's that look on his face again. He has no idea the position he's put me in-or maybe he does, and he simply doesn't care. I've dealt with his ty behavior long enough. He's got what he's wanted, and he won't leave me alone.

"Honestly, Jungkook, what the do you want me to do? You and I will never be anything. I could never love you that way," I jeer, finally getting everything I've ever wanted to say off my chest.

Jungkook's eyes widen before becoming dark as he nods at the door. "Get out," He says monotonously.

"Wait, Jungkook-"

"No, you're right. You and I will never be together. I got it, so you can go now."

My eyes narrow as I stare the male down. I can't tell if it's his way of getting me to feel bad for him, but it's working...

"I'm sorry." The words slip past my lips, barely above of whisper.

"Get out," he repeats, and so I do.

I hate myself.
 

There's this lingering tension between us for the rest of the day. I went back to pretending as nothing happened. I pretended I couldn't feel the dark stare he gave me throughout the day.

You just can't win when it comes to him. There will always be argument after argument, problem after problem with him.

A part of me wants a happy life with him, his feelings make it complicated, but I'll keep trying.

I knock at Jungkooks door. It takes a while for him to answer, but when he does, there's this unreadable look on his face. I can never tell what he's thinking, and honestly, sometimes I don't want to know.

"What?" He questions, but it comes out more like an annoyed grumble.

I peek over his shoulder, looking into his room. "Can I come in?" I ask.Jungkook his teeth before pushing the door back and letting me in.

He drops onto his bed as I stand at the doorway, trying to figure out exactly what to say without getting into another argument.

"I'm sorry for what I said today," I manage out.

Jungkook snorts and tilts his head before shaking it, "You were right anyway," he shrugs.

No... I wasn't.

"I'm still sorry either way, but you know this can't continue. You know that, right?" I question.

He scoffs and rolls his eyes, and there's that smug look again as he nods. "Yeah, I know," he answers, almost teasingly.

"No seriously, Jungkook-"

"God, you're so ing annoying. It's always the constant back and forth with you-you never know what you ing want," He shouts, taking me back a few.

I laugh in disbelief, "Excuse you?"

His eyes darken as he gets up and steps closer to me. "Is this just some game to you? Am I just some big ing joke to you?"

I step back, and he smirks and walks closer. This little ..."No," I respond, folding my arms against my chest and letting my head drop, too scared to look into his eyes.

"No?" He questions mockingly. "Then ing act like it. Don't play me, Seokjin."

"Jungkook, you know the circumstances what's going on between us-"

He laughs, and I look up into his dark eyes. "What do you want, Seokjin? And don't say anything about Yoongi. It's not right to him for you to lie to him like this when your heart is clearly telling you something else."

"I can't do that to him," I murmur.

"You already did last night when you let me you," He says, and that cocky grin is back on his face.

My eyes widen at his words,"Jungkook!"

"What do you want? It's ok to be selfish," Jungkook says, it sounds sinister, but there's this sweet smile on his face as he pulls me closer.

I stay silent, but sometimes silence speaks louder than words as I let him pull me in for another kiss.

This is so wrong.