Day after day, all we seem to do is argue, but today he really pushed it. I drag him into our home after spending three hours searching around for him. Mad at me or not he can't keep acting like this. 

I should tell him the truth, but how could I ever explain to him the things that happened in the past? How his mother left and I raised him alone. Or the fact that he was raised in a toxic home all because of my desperation.

I can't. it's hard for me to even describe what happened before, and to know it will change his view on others and most of all me. I'd rather say nothing at all.

"Do you want to explain why you weren't at school when I came to pick you up?" I question as the drag the teenager into the house by his gray hoodie.

"Can you explain why you refuse to answer any questions I have about my past?" Jungkook retorts smirking slightly.

"Jungkook-"

"That's what I thought," He scoffs tugging away from my grasp.

I let out a sigh attempting to calm down. We can get over this, it's just a small switch in his attitude. He doesn't hate me. "Be mad at me all you want, but that doesn't excuse the fact you have things to do! Graduating high school is one of them."

Jungkook lets out a bitter laugh as he tries to walk past me. I quickly grab his wrist and pull him in front of me, unaware of the dark look placed over his face.

"Jin, I'm not some ing kid. I'm not six years old anymore, you can't keep treating me like a child!" He shouts out, glaring at me as he throws his book-bag down.

"I know-"

"If you know why do you keep on doing it? Time is up, you can't coddle me anymore. I'm growing up," he spats out, his stare cold.

I frown to myself unsure of what to do. He must hate me, God I ed up everything. "Do you regret coming here? I'm so sorry for everything I just-I miss my baby, I missed you so much and I know you're growing up but-"

"Some ty excuse for a father you are. Do you even know the things you do to me?" I feel my eyes start to water at his words. Did I really mess up that bad?

"Jin, please don't do this right now," His voice is low and threatening as he grabs onto my hand, pulling me closer to him.

"We have nothing else to talk about, right?" I ask, backing away from him. He doesn't respond just stands there and stares. "Okay, goodnight Jungkook."

He pushes past me storming off to his bedroom as I stand there idly, wincing once I hear his room door slam closed. I let out a loud groan and fall onto the couch, ignoring the small patter of footsteps walking towards me.

"Having, a hard time talking to Jungkook?" Yoongi questions jokingly as he takes a seat next to my head.

I sit up properly and let out a sigh as I lean onto his shoulder. "He's so upset and it's all my fault. I don't know what to do," I confess, burying my head onto his chest as he gently runs his fingers through my hair.

"I wish I could say its just a teenager thing. but it's not. You have to tell him eventually, why not just rip the band-aid off now," he advises. "Don't hesitate. it will only make things more painful."

"I hate that you're right. I ed up, but you know why I can't tell him Yoongi, he would-"

"Love and appreciate that you thought he was mature enough to know. I might have only known Jungkook for a couple of months, but I can tell he's mature. He won't be upset with you," he reassures.

That's a lie. A plain ing lie, yet I nod along dumbly.

"I know he is. I hate it! It hurts, the fact that I lost so much time with him. I ruined everything Yoongi-ah." I feel my eyes burning with tears as I look away too embarrassed for him to even see me right now. I'm 34, I need to get a grip on myself.

" baby I know it's going to be okay," Yoongi reassures attempting to calm me down.

"No, it's not its never going to be okay! I ed everything up for Jungkook and I. He's gonna hate me forever! I hate me forever he doesn't deserve any of this and I just ruined everything-"I sputter out as I sob uncontrollably. Why do I always let my emotions get the best of me?

I can no longer feel the weight of Yoongi underneath me and look over to see him standing up with a frown placed over his face. "Min Seokjin, look at me," he orders, his voice strong and stern.

I look up at him, breathing shakily as I wipe the remaining tears off my face. Absolutely pathetic.

"You didn't ruin anything. What happened in the past was not your fault. Never has been and never will be. You're a good person, so I expect you to do that right thing and tell Jungkook what happened," He sighs out rubbing my back.

I nod mustering up a smile and he gives me a concerned look. "You will? Now or later?" He questions.

I can see the look of disappointment on his face and I understand. I'm disappointed in myself as well, how could I let everything in my life get so out of hand?

"I just need a little bit of time," I mutter, lying aimlessly like the coward I am. 

He gives a weak smile before pressing a kiss on my cheek. "Alright, don't let this problem linger baby. It's not good for anyone," he tells me before leaving to the kitchen.

I will never be ready.