Bright lights penetrating his eyesight as soon as he woke up. Looking around, he saw many figures in white attending to people laying down on beds. For a moment, he wondered where was he.

"Hey you. Are you feeling better?" He turned around. Greeting him was a familiar man that he encountered recently.

The guy who just said he didn't know about Vixx.

"Why..are you here? Where am I?"

He chuckled weakly.

"Hospital. Bad bentos, stomachaches. They pumped our stomachs. That's why we're here." he explained.

He had never landed himself in hospital no matter how bad his sickness was. Now, he finally did and the experience was not pleasant at all. He took his phone and saw many missed calls.

"Hello, Boss?" He was disappointed that there weren't any calls from s at all.

"Hakyeon-ah! Are you okay? I just received the news." asked his CEO.
"I'm fine...The members already knew?"
"Not yet, we are trying to get more information on this. We might get compensated." he continued.
"I don't see the need to inform the members." 

"Why?"
"It's useless piece of information to them."
"But they ought to know."
"It wasn't important anyway. Just let them continue to think I'm still filming in Busan."

--

"Hey Cha Hakyeon-sshi." He turned.

"I'm sorry about just now. I know I should research about you. It kinda makes me unprofessional." The guy was now seated on his bed facing him.

"When you ushered the people to take me to the ambulance first earlier on, I was embarassed."

"I'm being kind. I respect that you are older than me. That's why I did that. No other reason." Hakyeon was being quite defensive.

"Are you okay? You seem...down." he asked.

"I'm fine." he replied, without looking at him.

"I didn't see any of your members come. Is that why you feel so?" Hakyeon didn't answer.

"Hey, we are in the same boat. Apparently, they have informed my siblings but none came. Being the eldest sometimes is hard." he lamented.

Hearing those words, he shifted and turned around. "You're the eldest?"

He nodded. "I have 4 siblings. Single-handedly raise them up since 15 years ago. Now each of them tasted success, none actually remembers me. I'm living on my own much to my own surprise I live my life really well."

"Don't you feel lonely?"

He nodded. "Of course, being the eldest doesn't mean your level are different from any other second or third child. We are all the same yet shoulders different responsibilities but as the eldest, we just want the best for our family, isnt it?" Hakyeon agreed.

"But sometimes we sacrificed too much for others till we forget to prioritise ourselves. In the end, when they left one by one, your world seemingly became darker and quieter."

"Don't you ever feel angry over the outcome now? Like, you shouldn't have spend so much time earning money for them if you'd knew they turned out like this?"

He shook his head. "More of disappointment but on the other side, it gave me the reason to live my life now, to the fullest. The only regret was I'm unable to share my happiness with no one."

"Did you give up on them?"

He shook his head. "Choice I made based on what my heart says. In any decisions, choices are always in your hand but don't let regret sits in you till the end once you've made up your mind."

Those words was like a subtle reminder for him not to give up on s no matter what they did to him. At that time, he was so disappointed on how s' attitude towards him have changed, especially Taekwoon And Hyuk while the rest seemed to follow.

"What did I do wrong?"

At that thought, he was suddenly overwhelmed with sadness yet not even a single tears came out.

"Hakyeon-ah, now it's not the time to be sad."

A voice echoed in his mind.

"Do something that makes them fear of you and adhere to you. Not someone they can stepped on. Do something, Cha Hakyeon."

He was sure that was his own voice but wondered how could that be.

"But...but I don't want to hurt them."

"But they are hurting you! That's enough for you to take action, Cha Hakyeon. Do it or else you'll regret."

"In any decisions, choices are always in your hand but don't let regret sits in you till the end once you've made up your mind." The same words replayed in his head.

A while later, he received a message from his CEO in VIXX chatgroup.

"Guys, it's abit sudden but we have to push forward your comeback. Since Leo's starting his new musical in 3 months time & the rest are having variety program shooting, we need to have a meeting this week to discuss on our next concept."

All the members noted him with thanks except Hakyeon. Then, he dialed his CEO.

"Boss..."
"Yes, Hakyeon. You read my message?"
"Yes. Actually I have a favor...no...a request from you."

"What is it?"
"I need you to give me 100% authorisation for VIXX."
"Meaning? Wait, what are you implying?"
"I want full authority on VIXX. Meaning, I decide how long they going to practice, what are they going to say on broadcast, scold them if need to..."
"But all of you have been doing well. I don't see the need for this authority thing?"
"Hyung..." Hakyeon finally broke. A moment of silence followed.

"Hakyeon-ah, what's wrong. Tell me."
"I need to discipline them. Not only Hyuk, the rest are affected too. Either they are treating me as a transparent being or they just love to humiliate me."
"Hakyeon-ah...actually..." he was waiting for his CEO to continue but didn't seem like he would.
"Actually what?" he asked.
"Nothing. I'll tell you next time. About this Hakyeon, I'll grant you on one condition."

"What's the condition?"

"Promise me you will appear on the battle trip with Hongbin after the comeback."

Hakyeon let out a audible yet tired laughter. "The PD still insisting I appear on his program?" He shook his head. The PD's on good term with his CEO since Sung Shikyung is from Jellyfish too and 3 of them occasionally went out drinking.

"Please? Please?" Hakyeon was still laughing but his CEO could tell his fatigue already kicked in. "Okay, fine. Did you ask Hongbin? I don't think he would agree to go with this unfortunate Hyung that doesn't have a good sense of direction."

"Alright, I'll persuade him. No, I'll force him to accept."

"Hakyeon-ah... don't be too hard on yourself and them. Discipline them when it's needed. They are not kids anymore."

"I understand hyung. Thank you so much."

"I love you, Hakyeon. You know right?"

"I love my members more. If I should call it as love?" He replied with tint of sarcasm.

"Oh Hakyeon. Have a good rest okay? Come back healthy."

As he stared at his phone after the call, he wondered what was it like if those words came from the members themselves. If so, he thought he might dream of flying unicorns puking rainbows and sweet candies.

Then, he realised pondering something impossible like this only brought in more misery.