The sound of the nature outside woken up the half-asleep Taekwoon in the early morning.

Empty beer cans decorated alongside of the bed even though he couldn't take in liquor that much. He knew he would get tipsy at his first can but the urge to drown his sorrows with these drinks were just to empowering. He needed that adrenaline rush that at least helps him to forget what had happened, even for just a moment.

The fact that what happened to Hakyeon was entirely his fault. He thought.

The fact that he was oblivious to everything and that demoralized him even further. He thought.

He turned his body to the other side, facing the window and as he slowly opened his eyes, he saw the the sun rays penetrating through, the whole room emanating from the lights as he struggles to sit up on the bed. 

He rubbed his eyes and went straight to check his phone.

"Oh, battery went flat." He just threw it aside although he could ask the owner for a cable to charge.

Then, somehow he stared into space.

"Hakyeon's sick. He's been like this for quite some time but it got worse with accumulated stress."

Then, he recalled the time Hakyeon called him from Busan.

"Taekwoon-ah, can you come over?"

Taekwoon closed his eyes as he clutched his chest, feeling the heavy guilt for not caring about Hakyeon at all. Not being there when he needed him the most, failed to be the one supporting him emotionally when he knew Hakyeon the best. Thinking about all these made him teared up.

"I'm so sorry Hakyeon. I'm so sorry." He continuously blamed himself for what happened to Hakyeon.

-------

Wonshik and Hyuk were still sleeping while Hongbin and Jaehwan were at the dining table, staring at their untouched breakfast.

"Hyung, eat." Hongbin was mindlessly stirring his cereals yet not even taking any spoonful.

"I'm not hungry." said Jaehwan.

"You didn't eat dinner yesterday. Later, you'll get gastric." Jaehwan looked up at Hongbin, who was not eating either.

"Why are you asking me to eat when you're also not eating it?" Hongbin let go of his spoon suddenly.

"I can't do this anymore."

Jaehwan looked at him.

"I''m responsible for this. Look what happened now. Vixx is now in a mess. Our reputation are ruined and I'm here stirring my cereal, not doing anything that can save us. I should be the one saying I'm useless, Hyung."

Jaehwan quickly grabbed his hand. "Don't say that, bin-ah. Remember what Shikkie told us?"

Hongbin's eyes were glistening with tears mixed of anguish and guilt. He found it so hard to cry when things came crumbling down like dominoes yet when things were calm like the present time, his inner self felt like an approaching tsunami.

"Aish..." Jaehwan stares as tears trickling down his cheeks. Hongbin quickly wiped it off.

Throughout the whole morning, the dongsaengs took turn calling Taekwoon but it was futile.

"What if Hakyeon hyung wokes up and notice Taekwoon hyung's not there?" asked Jaehwan. The rest didn't know what to reply.

-------

Their personal sns accounts were filled with well-wishes and encouraging words from their fans. They could only scroll the comments and thanked in their hearts for showing concern towards them personally and as a group. Even though their fingers were itching to reply, they also do not want to give hope that everything is going to be alright when they themselves not sure if it's gonna be okay.

"How? Manage to get through hyung?" Wonshik asked Hyuk. All of them were in Hakyeon's room. Hongbin glanced over at his sleeping hyung, who somehow has not woken up since more than a day ago.

"Why hasn't hyung wake up yet? I'm getting worried here." asked Jaehwan.

"He's resting. I guess all those days put a toll on his health, so this time, this long rest rejuvenates him. He must have been very tired." Wonshik placed his hand on his shoulder.

Jaehwan could only sigh. 

------

Taekwoon didn't even bother to charge his phone. He wondered around the area near the lodging, looking at the peaceful scenery as he recalled his conversation with Hakyeon at the same place he was standing. The first talk he had with Hakyeon prior to their debut.

"If you are scared, then I'll be scared too."

Taekwoon looked at Hakyeon. He always thought Hakyeon is the most confident man he ever met but that statement proved him wrong. Hakyeon turned out to be like any normal human out there who also know how to feel incoming pressure and nervousness.

"We are a team and I ought to feel what you are feeling. Other couldn't affect me that much but Vixx does."

Hakyeon swing his arm over his shoulders. "So, do your best. As, Vixx, we do our best as much as we can. Have fun performing and just drown in the rhythm of the music. You have other 5 members standing on the same stage, sharing the same dream. We are on this together, Taekwoon-ah. Remember that, okay?"

"It has always been him who comforted me, everyone in the team. It has always been him who's always been the frontrunner and faced all the bull from anti-fans and criticism. What I've done for him? It was all hurtful words and ignorance." his thoughts were running deep.

.....
"I truly have no idea what happened. Suddenly we were told to leave and that's it. My dream to watch Vixx live was shattered totally, because of N." his ear twitched as soon as he heard someone nearby were mentioning Hakyeon and Vixx. A group of high school girls were talking about their experience being ushered out minutes after they entered the arena to watch them.

"Maybe something really happened to N. They already clarify that N was not well. As Starlights, we should convey well wishes for speedy recovery."

"But, I don't like how we are treated. We came from so far all the way to Seoul only to be denied and in the end it's a waste of time. I've wasted my money. My parents scolded me for coming back in that kind of state. I'm not as rich as you, So-yeon ah. Try to understand me. Now, being starlight is not the most priority. It's my feelings."

"I understand that but..." She stared at her friend not knowing what to say.

Taekwoon was looking at them from far, dressed in all baggy and in black, his features hidden under the big wide black hat. His eyes were still looking at those kids, somehow feeling guilty that their dream to meet their idols were crashed in an instant. He couldn't even do anything to change the fact that their fans are disappointed.

Looking at them, he could only sigh. 

At this point, all he knew was both Starlights & Vixx are truly hurting.