Surprise...?

Chapter Twenty Seven

Currently behind her dresser, Aeiyoung is trying to get rid of her swollen and puffy eyes after crying for hours. Despite the light and bright makeup she is wearing, she can’t hide the dullness her eyes are giving and the despondence her aura is showing.

After the disheartening appointment with Dr Kang, Aeiyoung takes the rest of the day off. She knows too well that after what she found out, there’s no way she will be able to properly work. She isn’t even with herself right now.

For a man who truly loves his girl, he would feel that something is different, straightaway, the moment her presence comes into his senses and his eyes meets hers.

His girl is looking beautiful, as always. She's wearing a beautiful beige dress that matches her skin tone so well, her hair is down, soft and shiny. Everything about her is beautiful but he doesn’t miss the difference in her aura and it immediately bothers him because he fails to figure it out. Her eyes look dull, and tired despite the smile she's wearing as she makes her way towards his vehicle.

But as soon as she slides into the car, her lips curve so sweetly. She takes the initiative to hold his hand and entwine their fingers together. It is not always this happens as usually, he would be the one doing this. Then, as the driver drives off, she moves closer and hugs his arm with her other hand, having their hands lay over her thighs.

“Aeiyoung, are you okay?”

She hums with her eyes closed. Then, she whispers, “I just missed you.”

Jongin smiles upon hearing that. He appreciates that his girl is slowly becoming more vocal and expressive about her feelings than ever before. And though, the sight of her aura earlier bothers him, he decides not push it. Maybe, Aeiyoung just really misses him as much as he missed her during the day.

“I missed you too.” He returns sincerely. He kisses the crown of her head and then, he brings his palm with his free hand over her cheek, and gently caresses it, bringing it closer to his biceps.

During the entire ride, happenings of earlier continues to haunt Aeiyoung. She wants to hug the man he loves so tight, very tight like there is no tomorrow.

In one way or another, she has to confront this problem that came upon her. As much as she loves Jongin, knowing she can’t give him the family he’s been dreaming, she knows she doesn’t deserve him and he doesn’t deserve the consequences of her condition.

Jongin deserves a family he will live with happily. He deserves to have children who would love him just as much as she would love him and he would them.

Jongin deserves a woman who can give him that. And unfortunately, she can’t be that to him.

Aeiyoung has her eyes kept close until she has fallen asleep. And although she is, the daunting thought hasn’t left her one bit. Her eyes are only resting but her mind is wide awake, heartbreakingly restless.

She feels a squeeze from her hand, urging her to open her eyes. Her boyfriend cups her face, tilting and lifting it up to look at him. She doesn’t notice that a teardrop leaked through the inner corner of her eyes, until he wipes it off from the side bridge of her nose. His eyes are soft but worried.

“We’re here.” He informs in a whisper. The more he looks at her, the more he can’t help but ask gently,“Are you okay?” This is the second time since he picked her up from her place and it continues to bother him seeing her like this. “Why are you crying?” He continues asking.

Aeiyoung remains wordless which only urges him to utter the decision he made even before she's able to answer his question. “If you’re not well, I’ll call Mum. I’ll tell her we can’t make it to d—”

The lady holds his wrists, stopping him. “We’re already here.” She says. “I’m fine.”

“Then, why are you tearing up?” He asks.

She shrugs, answering, “Just had a sad dream.” And ironically, she's living that. “But I’m fine.” She reassures. “Come on, your family is waiting for us.”

“If you’re tired, like I told you—”

She shakes her head. “No, I want to see them.” She smiles. Sadly. Because she isn’t sure if this is the last time she’ll be seeing them. She tugs his hand as she grasps on it tightly, “Let’s go.”

Aeiyoung opens the car and slides out, seeing Gyo standing nearby patiently. She nods at him before turning to Jongin, who only takes a deep sigh before stepping his feet on the ground. He slides his arm around her waist, keeping her close as they leisurely walk inside.

The lady realises, that if this is the last time she’ll be seeing his family, she needs to leave it as a good and happy memory. Not a sombre one. And she’ll try that. She’ll try to be happy for sake of memories. She knows she can’t be with Jongin and she won’t let him get dragged down in this lonely life of hers. He deserves to be happy and if she isn’t the person to give that, then she is more than willing to give way.

Probably after this, before this night ends… or tomorrow’s, she imagines herself, crying, devastated and in sorrow. She loves Jongin so much and it breaks her heart that she can’t be the woman who can give everything he truly deserves.

So, for the entire night, she puts on her happy mask, putting facade over her broken self.

They enter the foyer, greeted by the servants around and the butler, who formally comes to approach them, warmly welcoming them.

Behind follows Younji who beams as soon as her eyes catch the two lovely figures. She hurries her way towards her son and his lovely girlfriend, giving them a tight hug, clearly delighted to see them.

Aeiyoung giggles as she turns to Jongin. This is probably one of the things she’s going to miss— how her boyfriend’s stepmother is always happy to see them.

They enter the great room where Sehun, Jaein, Sera and Jeho are, casually chatting. Everyone turns their head as Younji announces the couple’s arrival, making Sera leap up from her seat (much for Sehun’s amusement). The youngest lady runs and hugs Aeiyoung, completely snatching her away from her boyfriend.

Jongin shakes his head and leaves the two alone so he can greet his father, his older sister and his best-friend.

The mother chuckles and goes ahead to her husband’s side as they all hear Jaein bombarding Aeiyoung with her chatty and bubbly talks.

When the oldest sister thinks the younger has gone long enough, she clears which cuts off the lady.

Jaein looks around, slightly dumbfounded.

“I think asking Aeiyoung to have a seat would be lovely, Jaein.” Sera suggests.

The lady glances at the one next to her with guilty eyes. “Sorry.” She squeaks.

Aeiyoung chortles, shaking her head with a soft smile and tells her that it’s definitely okay. With Jaein, she thinks she already has a little sister. It’s nice— being young, free and simply happy.

They all head to the sofas and take their seats. Jongin walks over to his girl and urges his younger sister to take a seat between him and Sehun. The oldest couple are sitting together, next to Younji is her husband and her oldest daughter. Sera is sitting between her mother and her brother’s best-friend.

The maids come in, serving drinks as they continue to chat. Few minutes later, the butler comes in politely and lets them know that the dinner would be ready soon; something the queen of the household already knows as she was on it until she was informed that her son and his girlfriend have arrived.

Moments later, the lady urges her boyfriend to go ahead and talk with his father and Sera but she isn’t left alone for long when Sehun decides to join her company as they stand before the ceiling to floor glass window.

“You okay?” asks Sehun, slightly startling Aeiyoung.

She smiles almost straight away though when she sees that it is her boyfriend’s best friend. “Yeah.”

The male gives him a smile, sending a wordless comment saying that he knows she isn’t. Briefly, Aeiyoung wonders if she's easy to read or that he’s just really good at reading people too— much like how his best friend is.

“Jongin is my best-friend, the same time he’s more than a brother to me, so everyone who is important to him, is important to me too. And I see in your eyes that you’re not okay.” He says, making the lady sigh. “If you’re comfortable, make me your best-friend too because you’re my best-friend now as well. Talk to me when you feel like opening up. Mina’s got my number. Just get it from her and hit me up.”

Aeiyoung smiles appreciatively. “Thank you.”

“I’m serious.”

She nods. “I know.”

She sighs again, making Sehun wanting to take that away. It is certainly not a sight to see that his brother’s girlfriend is like this. Like there’s this so much burden inside her heart and he wants to help. He knows Aeiyoung’s worth to Jongin and surely, whatever she's feeling, his best friend will feel it too. Ultimately, though Jongin has his lady now, Sehun doesn’t want to see his brother suffering again. So, he’s willing to do anything in his ability to prevent that.

“I just…” The lady starts heavily and turns her head to where everyone is, particularly where Jongin is. When she sees he’s busy, she shifts her head back and continues by calling his name. “Sehun…”

The called male hums.

“When you’ve found your one, what are your plans in the future?”

Sehun is slightly at lost with the question, but he truthfully answers when he says, “To live the rest of my life with her.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He nods.

“Do you imagine yourself as a father?”

“I do.” He answers. “I want to become a father that my child can play and have fun with. We’ll be like friends.”

“Indeed.” Aeiyoung says in a quiet voice, looking out through the night view then back at the male. “It’s every man’s dream to have a child their own, huh?”

“Of course, it is.” He affirms cautiously. “A child or children of their own, with the woman they love the most.”

The lady doesn’t say anything after that. She remains silent as she tears her gaze away from him.

Sehun wonders why she's asking such questions and being the smart guy he is, a number of reasons comes to his head and he doesn’t settle on one. For one, he knows too well that people are more than what’s obvious, there is always more than and something deeper than what they seem to appear. And two, he knows that it isn’t right to come to a conclusion so quickly. He can ask but there is a time and place for everything and now isn’t that time.

But, knowing the lady, he’s certain that Aeiyoung is a smart and sensible girl and she won’t do anything that will hurt his brother. Another thing that is for sure is the fact that, he’ll be there whenever Jongin or the couple will need him— just like how they always have been.

Sehun isn’t sure if assurance is what Aeiyoung needs or if it’s something else. He isn’t sure if what he’s about to say is out of the blue but he’s going to do it anyway. He’s going to follow what his guts are urging him to.

“Aeiyoung, you know Jongin loves you so much, right?”

With that, the lady can’t help but turn to him.

“Everything he does, he does it with you in mind.” He says. “You mean to Jongin more than anyone can imagine. He loves you so much. He treasures and dotes on you a lot. Everyone can see it.”

“He does.” She nods. “It scares me.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Still?”

Aeiyoung remembers the time when they were talking in Echo 9 at his welcome party, when she said the same words but for the reason that she's scared because Jongin might stop loving her one day, and although there is still that fear (only a little bit of it left), she holds a different reason now.

“It’s not that.” She clears. “I’m afraid I can’t give enough to level at the amount of love and affection he has for me.” She explains. “Jongin deserves so much. He deserves everything and there are things I can’t give to him as much as I want to that he deserves.”

“To Jongin, you know, you’re all he needs.” When he senses the amount of uncertainty in the lady as he looks at her, he continues, “Before you came to his life, since his unborn daughter died, Jongin was ready to die. He wasn’t living to live. He was fighting everyday to die. He was living to end his life. He didn’t care about anything.” He pauses. “Everything was set to him you know. His parents had each other, he knows Sera would survive without him. Jaein, well, she still had their parents and their older sister to look after her and guide her at any path she chooses to take. Me, to him, he probably thought how I have my other peers that are close to me and that I’ll be okay if he ever passes.” In fact, it still upsets Sehun that his best-friend of it that way. It’s like Jongin doesn’t know how much he means to him.

But, he puts that aside when he continues, “J.KEH, it doesn’t matter that much to him. After all, he had the best people with him to continue what he started from scratch. He established the company simply because working for another didn’t interest him so much. Besides, he had always been independent like that. But when you came, Aeiyoung,” He looks at the lady to make sure that she is listening, “all of that changed.”

She's at loss for words.

“I’ve seen that change in him. I’m sure his family have seen that too, regardless whether they know about Seomi or not. Jongin is now living to live because he has someone to live for and that is you, Aeiyoung. I don’t think he thinks he needs anything or anyone else when he’s got you. To Jongin, you matter the most. To Jongin, you are all he needs, he wants. To Jongin, you are and will always be enough.”

Aeiyoung presses her lips together, swallowing back her tears that are once again threatening to flow down her cheeks. Sehun words are unknowingly (for him) comforting and somewhat reassuring her. But she's still anxious. She knows that baggage she's bringing along will dishearten Jongin and she doesn’t want to see that.

“Thank you, Sehun.” She says. “Thank you.” Can her gratitude for the man be even put into words?

Sehun doesn’t know if he’s really done much, for his words were only the truth. But he accepts it, as he says gently, “You’re welcome.” If her thank you means that he helped in one way or another, then he’s glad.

The two are looking at each other for awhile before it gets interrupted by the youngest lady in the mansion.

“I feel like you two had some pretty deep conversation but dinner’s ready.” She says cautiously, pointing her thumbs behind her back, towards the dining area.

Sehun and Aeiyoung simultaneously turns their head to Jaein before falling into fond smiles. The male bobs his head towards the area to the lady in front of him after nodding at his best friend’s youngest sister.

Aeiyoung nods and stays behind for a bit. “I’ll follow in a bit.” She says quietly.

Understanding that, the other two lead their ways to the dinner, coming across to the lady’s boyfriend midway. Sehun nods his head to Jongin with a wary look, in which the latter instantly gets and proceeds his way to his princess.

He slides his hands and arms around his waist, pulling her and pressing her close to him. He kisses her head as Aeiyoung puts her hands over his. His cheek is leaning over the side of her head as he says, “Did something happen today?”

She hums and then turns, making him lift up his head slightly but keeping his gaze at her. His head is lowered, finding himself studying her beautiful features once again.

Aeiyoung places her arms around her neck and plays with the locks of his hair on his nape. A gesture Jongin always found comforting. She lifts her chin up to kiss the tip of his nose before saying gently, “I realised I haven’t ask how your day has been. How was it?”

“Missed you.” He answers easily. “I was dying to call you so I can hear your voice but I was filled with so many meetings. I knew you were busy too. I couldn’t wait to see you.” No words are enough to express how keen he was for tonight.

It’s okay now, I’m here these words are supposed to be what she's saying if not for under a different circumstance. But upon successfully masking her despondency, she gives her man a sweet smile, saying the words of, “You love me too much, Kim Jongin. You need to tone it down.” in a playful tone.

She needs to leave him for him to live his dreams of having a family and how can that be possible, if Jongin keeps making her feel this way. How can he survive what she's about to do if he loves her so And this much— perhaps, even more.

But her words only results for the male to shake his head stubbornly, like a little child. “I don’t have plans of doing so. I’m going to love you more and more each day. I beg you not to get sick of it, please.”

Oh, she won’t. Ever.

Making the most of the time they have left together, Aeiyoung takes the initiative to kiss his man lovingly. She claims his lips, resulting for the man to hum in content despite the initial surprise. Then, he becomes the man and he begins to kiss her back, her lip between his lips, and more for more and another as he pulls her closer and hugs her waist tighter to his.

As they both reluctantly pull away, Jongin presses his lips on hers in a big smooch, deeper and longer once more and they both smile, with silent giggles, with their foreheads against each other’s.

“I love you, Jongin.” She confesses. “I love you so much.”

He leans back, but not too far away, only enough so he can see her angelic features. He tucks strands of her hair that’s getting in the way to his view of her beautiful countenance as he replies with whole of his heart, “I love you more, Ji Aeiyoung.”

Taking a deep breath, Aeiyoung withdraws her arms around his neck to slide her hand in his. “Come on, your family is waiting for us.” She says.

Jongin sighs.

She chuckles and tugs him, saying once more, “Come.”

How Aeiyoung wishes this night would be so long, it won’t end.

They enter the dining area with everyone present. On the head of the table is of course, the head of the family, Jeho. On his left is his oldest daughter, following next is Jaein and Sehun. On his right, on the other side, is his lovely wife, and the empty two spots are taken over by his son and his beautiful girlfriend.

Before they all sit, however, the butler of the mansion enters and whispers something to the respected lawyer.

After being informed, he says a command quietly only for the butler to hear. With that, he takes his leave after bowing to everyone. Jeho smiles at his wife as a sign, causing the latter to smile at her son.

Jongin then turns to his love and says, “They’re here.”

Aeiyoung tilts her head, bemused. “Who is?”

Before the male can answer, enters Yeona and Jeonho behind the same butler, who left just earlier. Everyone’s head turns to the newly arrived figures, and the lady’s eyes dilate, confounded. She gasps and shifts her eyes back to her boyfriend, who only gives him his usual but triumphant smile.

Jongin lets go her hand so she can approach her parents. She hurriedly walks towards them, despite her stupefaction.

“Mum… Dad…” She calls and gives them each an embrace.

“How…?” She asks incompletely as she looks at them. She was just talking to them this morning and absolutely had no clue of their arrival at this dinner at all.

Jeonho chuckles, “Details come in later. Let me look at you, how has my daughter have been?”

“I’m… I’m okay.” She swallows, still registering the unexpected situation.

Yeona places a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, bringing her back to her senses. She snaps out of it and clears as she turns to Jongin’s parents and to everyone.

“Mr and Mrs Kim,” she starts, and Jongin approaches her, standing by the side. “please meet my parents. Ji Jeonho and Ji Yeona.” She then shifts back to her parents, “Mum, Dad,” gesturing towards Jongin’s parents, she introduces, “Mr Kim Jeho and Mrs Kim Younji.”

The two pairs shake each others hand in very civilised yet amicable manner. Jongin’s arm amis around Aeiyoung’s shoulder as they watch their parents going along well together.

“Here are Jongin’s sisters, Sera,” the daughter gestures to the ever sophisticated lady, “the oldest sister and Jaein,” she turns to the next lass, who is in much contrast of the previous one, being bubbly and vibrant, “The youngest in the family.” The two ladies walk around to greet her parents in their utmost good manners. “And then, Sehun,” she finally says, “He’s Mina’s cousin and Jongin’s best friend.” The mentioned male bows and formally greets the couple.

“Big lovely family.” Jeonho comments. “I apologise if I only have Aeiyoung as our child.”

They laugh at that.

“Oh, please, Aeiyoung is such a lovely and brilliant girl. I’d love to have her as my daughter if only she wouldn’t be my daughter-in-law in the future.” Younji responds to which her husband agrees to.

Jongin smiles proudly and his girlfriend sees that, causing him to feel a very light jab with her elbow meeting his middle.

“Well, your son is a very well mannered man. I know he would love and take care of my only princess if they decide to spend the rest of their lives together.” Jeonho states with much confidence.

“I agree.” Yeona seconds to that.

On the other side of the dining hall, Jaein mumbles something quietly, not wanting to interrupt the six figures. “I can’t wait for Aeiyoung to be officially my sister. She's kinder and sweeter than Sera.”

At the mention of her name, the oldest daughter clucks her tongue and Sehun, who is closely standing by them, chuckles.

Sera narrows her eyes at the male, who only shrugs his shoulders like how a cheeky and playful younger brother would do.

In resign, she sighs and looks away, receiving a hug from her only sister. “I still love you so much, Sera.” Jaein says, pecking the cheeks of her sister.

Usually, she would be not fond of it and would tell the younger one to act more mature but this time, it is different when she mutters with a rather affectionate eyes, “You better.”

Jaein only giggles.

Dinner soon starts, Jeonho takes the seat next to his daughter while Yeona, sits across her husband, next to Sehun.

Automatically, Aeiyoung’s parents are presented with pleasantly set out plates, glasses and utensils, just like the rest. They begin dinner, exchanging pleasant conversations.

Amidst of that, Jongin receives a question from his girlfriend quietly. He turns his head and smiles fondly, ready to answer how her parents made it here.

“I suggested it to Mum when I called her to confirm that we are going.” He explains. “And she was so delighted and enthusiastic with the idea. And here they are.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted it to be a little surprise for you.” He reasons. “Do you like it?”

“I do.” She answers gently but so sincerely. She reaches out her hand to hold his warmly. “Thank you.”

The idea came to Jongin because he knows how little the time she and her parents have to see and spend time and actually bond with each other. He’s aware of how much Aeiyoung loves and treasures her parents and if there is anything he could do to make things better for them, he will.

“You’re welcome.” He responds, entwining his fingers with hers. “Besides, it’s about time my parents meet yours.” He glances at the older couples. “Look at them, it’s like they’ve known each other for so long already despite meeting for the first time.”

Aeiyoung turns and agrees to what her boyfriend said. Their parents are talking and interacting with each other better than any of them expected and had imagined.

And as much as she is happy what’s before her eyes, the scenes comes at her in a bittersweet manner. Unlike for everyone, she knows what is to come. If only the situation is different, then she wouldn’t have to worry about breaking everyone’s hearts, particular the heart of the man whom she loves like no other.

She’s clearly aware that this isn’t what Younji and Jeho wants for their son; Sera and Jaein wants for their brother. They would want Jongin to have a big family of his own, like their family. His sisters would want at least a niece or a nephew and his parents to have at least a grandchild from Jongin.

Aeiyoung knows that’s what her parents want too. Being an only child, she's the only one who can give them a grandchild or children. But sadly, she can’t do that with no stress and difficulty. Because even if she does get pregnant, it would be delicate and risky— for her and the child.

But for the remainder of the night, she tries her best to keep a smile on her face. She wants to enjoy this moment, this night, that she will keep in her heart like she did with the past months.

Dinner finishes and the lady takes the opportunity to approach her parents.

“Mum… Dad…” She greets, giving each of them a peck on the cheeks.

“Honey,” Yeona returns and studies her daughter’s features. “How have you been?”

“I’m okay, Mum…”

The mother raises an eyebrow, not buying her daughter’s words— the same goes with Jeonho. They actually glad that they came here to finally see their daughter and not just hear her voice or just see her face through a video call. Because Aeiyoung’s eyes look far too gloomy to their eyes to be okay.

So, the daughter exhales, finding it useless to lie to her mother or more so, their parents. “I’m going to be okay, Mum. Just stress from work and stuff.” She explains vaguely, not really wanting to reveal the whole truth given the event, time and place. It isn’t really a lie either, anyway. In fact, her days were only good because of Jongin. Without him, she knows certainly how stressed she’d be.

“I told you to take care of yourself. How much more does your father and I have to remind you of that?” Yeona’s tone is reprimanding, the same time gentle with full of worry.

Catching her father’s eyes holding the same expression her mother is holding, she lowers her down as she mumbles in complete guilt the words, “I’m sorry…”

Both concerned parents don’t doubt that Jongin is taking good care of their daughter. They know that it’s their daughter being stubborn. They just wish their daughter knows how to take the initiative to relax and rest for a bit.

“Take care of yourself, please.”

“I will. I’m sorry.”

“Come here,” Jeonho now speaks and beckons his daughter to come closer to him so he can give her a warm embrace.

As they pull away, the father comments, “Jongin’s family is lovely, sweetheart. No wonder he’s a good boy.”

“They are.” Aeiyoung agrees. “He is.”

“His sisters are very beautiful and gorgeous too.” Yeona adds. “Sera is a doctor, yeah?”

The daughter hums. “She’s a paediatrician.”

“And Jaein?”

“She’s opening up her own fashion line soon.”

“Wow…” Yeona is deeply impressed with the family.

Just a meter and half away, Younji clears , politely interrupting between the three figures. “I think it would be a good idea to leave the young ones here and let’s have wine at the bar?”

Aeiyoung’s parents share a glance before nodding their heads with a willing smile. The mother turns to her daughter and squeezes her arm before walking off with her husband. Jeonho pats the lady’s shoulder lightly and slips his arm around his wife’s waist.

Just then, Jongin comes back and enters the balcony. His eyes quickly spots where his girl is, like its programmed to only see her and no one else in this world. A smile instantly forms in her lips.

He strolls towards her, arms already reaching out to claim her. As he reaches to his favourite destination, he kisses the top of her head and smiles sweetly while looking down at her.

“They went to chat and have a drink with your parents.” She says.

Jongin nods. “Yeah, Mum was looking for them while I was with Sehun and my sisters in the great room.” He then comments, “My parents like yours. It’s nice.” The lady doesn’t say anything to that so he continues, “Makes things easier when I propose to you and we eventually get married.”

“Marriage…” Aeiyoung repeats in combination of agony, bliss and apprehension. “We’ve got a long way to go… Who knows you might even have a change of heart in deciding to marry me.” These words inflicts misery in her heart. Even just imagining about it… Jongin leaving her or him, out of her life, she can’t bear it. It will be too hard but then, though she loves him so much, she really isn’t that selfish enough to hold him back. She can’t do that— especially to him. She wants Jongin to be happy but he can’t be if he continues to be with her.

A crease forms in the male’s glabella, somewhat offended at his girl’s words. He’s not fond of her words of doubt. So then, the authoritative side of him comes out with utmost sincerity and affection when he states, “I could marry you now if you’ll let me.”

“You would regret that.”

Jongin is confused and upset at her tone, like she is so sure despite her gentle voice; but he is adamant when he counters, “No, I won’t.”

Aeiyoung sighs and lowers her head as she shakes it. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do know what I’m saying, Aeiyoung.” He mutters quietly, frustrated.

“I can’t give you everything, Jongin.” She cracks, barely letting her emotions rush over here. Her voice isn’t heated up but rather, full of anguish. “I can’t give you everything like how I was hoping I would.”

“Why bother giving me everything when you’re all I want? When you’re all I need?” He pauses, “When, to me, it’s all you that matters.” He is wrapped with so much uneasiness when he asks, “Don’t you love me anymore?” Jongin can already feel his heart breaking in so much anxiety.

“I do, Jongin. I do.” She answers with no tint of hesitation. “But… I’m just afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid because you love me too much, so much that I can’t give the same to you, or at least enough of it to make you happy.”

Aeiyoung takes note of their position. He hasn’t let go of his hold of her. They are still in the same position but only he is holding her closer, tighter and firmer. The hold itself is screaming the male’s affection and love towards his lady. It is screaming the unspoken thoughts that is running through his head.

“You make me so happy, Aeiyoung.” He emphasises, “You make me so, so happy.”

For the past months, for nearly a year, Jongin feels everything and happy. He’s happy, words can’t describe it. Everyday, since he knew he was in love with this beautiful girl in front of him, he felt happy. He wanted to become a better person each day and he succeeded at that. He feels so happy, loved, cared and fulfilled whenever he’s around Aeiyoung. Something he never felt so much of before.

Aeiyoung clenches her eyes, feeling helpless, feeling hopeless and her boyfriend can’t bear to see that. It feels like she wants to say something but she couldn’t, like she’s holding herself back. It could be for the venue, or for the situation they are in at the moment so then, to put an end to this, he decides to do something.

Jongin lets go of her briefly and he quickly grabs her hand, shocking the lady, and pulls it, walking their way out of balcony in hurried footsteps. Aeiyoung is confused but she doesn’t tug him back to stop him. They walk through the great room where Sehun, Sera and Jaein are chatting, only to be surprised at the scene coming by before them.

The youngest lady looks at them, completely baffled as Sehun stares at the couple, slightly having an idea of what is going on. But Sera frowns in confusion, finding the tension around them alarming. Hence, she dares to ask, “What’s happening? Where are you guys going?”

Jongin doesn’t stop in their tracks when he utters an indirect answer to his sister’s question, “We’ll be back.”

It is too late for the oldest sister to say anything more as they already have exited the area. The three share worried glances at each other.

Soon, they reach the area where all cars are parked and sees Gyo waiting aside. The man is quick to stand firmly on the ground, waiting for any command. He notices the tense look his boss is wearing and the agonised aura the lady behind is holding.

“Gyo, the keys.”

Quick to his senses, the driver promptly gives the keys and steps back. Jongin doesn’t explain anything as he directs his girlfriend to the front passenger seat before walking around to get to the driver’s seat.

The car starts and swiftly drives out the parking block, exiting the mansion’s lot. Aeiyoung doesn’t say anything as her boyfriend continues to drive and speed down the road.

Far enough, he swerves to the side and pulls over at a quiet area where no one else is there but them. Jongin turns to the lady.

“Tell me.” He commands. “Tell me from where all those thoughts are coming from.”

Aeiyoung cries out his name in helpless whisper. She feels her choking even before starting. She's bound to tell the truth, she just didn’t expect it would be this soon.

“Aeiyoung.” He calls her firmly. Wanting the truth out so she can free themselves from this. He doesn’t like what is happening. He wants to be clear and find some light to put an end on this.

His girlfriend takes a deep breath, before pinning her pained gaze at him. “I met Dr Kang today. My health results came out.” And before Jongin can say another word, she reveals, “I can’t get pregnant, Jongin. Even if I do, it will be very risky. Not only for me but for the child as well.” The last words she utters, causes tears to stream down her face, feeling her heart explode. She breaks as she says, “I can’t be with you. I can’t give you the family you’re dreaming of. I’m so sorry.”

Now that it is all out, Aeiyoung’s dam of tears officially breaks, leaning against the door of the car, as farthest away from her love. She can’t bear to look at him in anyway.

But when she feels that the enclosed space is suffocating her, she quickly opens the door to get out and shuts it close. Then, she leans on the car, sliding down with her arms crossed over her knees where her forehead lies as she continues to cry.

What surprises her in the midst, however, is when Jongin collectively hugs her with his protective arms and picks her up. She doesn’t know how many minutes have passed, but it definitely isn’t long. He holds both of her wrists and wraps it around his waist as he cradles her head on his chest, letting her cry for all she needs.

When he feels the wind is too cold, he takes careful steps and opens the door of rear passenger seat. He whispers, “It’s getting too cold. I don’t want you to get sick.”

Aeiyoung presses her head deeper on his chest, clutching his dress shirt. Then, he carries her up so she can sit on the beige leather seat. He hugs her tighter and rests his chin on the top of her head as her legs are around his hips.

After a while, the lady looks up at him through her lashes, making him lean back slightly. “I’m so sorry.” She apologises again.

Jongin smiles sadly as his affectionate eyes don’t leave her countenance as he takes strands of her hair away, tucking it behind her ear.

He looks at her eyes when he asks, “Why are you saying sorry?”

“For being not ever enough for you…”

“If you’re thinking of leaving and breaking up with me, Aeiyoung, I’m afraid I can’t let that happen.” He says, so much sincerity can be heard from his voice. “I told you before and I’m going to tell you again, I can’t let you go. I don’t have plans to. You’re not going anywhere far from me. You can’t walk out of my life.” He smiles but no mocking or teasing, “Is this selfish?”

Aeiyoung shakes her head. It doesn’t really matter whether it’s selfish or not, because she doesn’t want to leave Jongin too. The mere thought is already so difficult.

“You’ve thought of it, haven’t you?” Receiving an inquiring look, he becomes specific, “You’ve thought of leaving me.”

Her head drops low and that is more than an answer.

“Why?” He asks, although he might already know the answer to it— knowing how selfless his girl is.

“Because I can’t hold you back. I want you to be happy. I want you to have a big family. I want you to have kids who will love you so much, as much as I would love you and as much as you would love them.” She swallows the big invisible lump inside when she says, “And that’s something I can’t give to you.”

He takes a deep breath and shifts the lady’s position. He climbs up the seat, having her sit on his lap and her arms around his neck, looking at her eyes. “If you leave me, would you be happy?” He asks all of a sudden, baffling the lady because this is not about her. It’s about him.

But when she sees how his eyes are eager for an answer, she responds honestly, “No.”

His lips curves into a smile— fond, relieved and just… happy. “Good, because I wouldn’t be too.” He confesses. “I would be just miserable and lost again.” He hugs her again, his cheek resting on her shoulders with his nose on her neck. She feels his breath when he whispers, “I won’t be happy like what you’re thinking if you leave me, Aeiyoung. I won’t.” His embrace becomes tighter as he pleads, “So please, don’t leave me.”