Chapter Twenty Six

After driving in a fairly short distance, Jongin pulls over by the field of beautiful, vibrant flowers, wherein metres away is a river stream with clear water. There is a space between the two areas where people can sit and enjoy the view. Before going anywhere though, the lady sees her boyfriend walk towards the car trunk to grab something out and when she peeks, she sees him holding a large folded blanket— a material they can sit and lay on as they relax.

They walk hand in hand towards the area, having the entire place all to themselves. The wind is cool and the sun is warm and not hot at all. Jongin lays the blanket over the ground and invites his girl to sit in. Aeiyoung leans on his shoulder while his arm are around hers.

“Do you and Sera play around here when you were young?” She asks softly.

He hums and points towards a direction. “There. Whenever Dad was at work, we played around there. A babysitter would look after us and then, we would run around here, at the meadows.”

Little Sera and little Jongin, running around, like little kids they were, Aeiyoung smiles at the sight she has inside her mind.

“Sometimes, we would be at the park. It’s further down from here, if I remember correctly, but I doubt if it would still be there after so long.”

She's looking at him when she asks, “You and Sera must've been really close, huh?”

He nods. “Really close. Sera has always been a good sister to me. We were best-friends. And if there is one thing that we both hated doing then, that was to go home. Our house couldn’t even be called a home then and if there was a reason we would call it our home, that was because of Dad. Dad was our home. And every time he was breaking, we felt we were breaking too.”

Aeiyoung smiles softly, lifting her head up to kiss his jaw. “And now, Uncle is so happy and loved.”

“He is.” He agrees, sounding dreamy. “After all that, Dad actually looks more fresh and radiant than he was when we were kids.” He says mischievously, “He’s like on his twenties.”

The lady laughs. Though Jeho looks younger than his age, he definitely does not look like he’s in his young twenties, but he does give the vibe that he is. Probably because of how happy and contented he is with his life.

Jongin’s arms trail up, placing it around her shoulders, as his fingers trace her earlobe down to the scar under her ear. His eyes are at her when he opens up, asking, “You never told me what happened here.”

She feels the pad his fingers caressing her scar. “Do you want to know?” She questions in her soft and gentle tone. “Do you have to?”

He frowns slightly, “Why?”

“Just…” She looks away, “It’s not very pretty.”

The male thinks over that. “This is not just a simple innocent accident when you were young, is it?”

Her lips are pursed but she shakes her head lightly.

“What is it?” He asks, “What happened?” Then, he realises, “You haven’t told me anything about your birth mother too…”

Aeiyoung remains silent, and he can see that she is beginning to chew the inside of her bottom lip. “My birth Mum… she died when I was around seven. And then, after that Dad got me in his care and he was already married to my stepmother then.”

“So, your parents were never together?”

She shakes her head. “They didn’t get married. Mum was nineteen then and Dad was twenty four.” Looking at him, she knows she needs to fill in the gaps. She leans back and sits up as he’s listening carefully. “My parents broke up by the Mum found she was pregnant with me. Dad told me they were only together for less than a year, not really long. You know, kind of like summer's fling but only slightly longer. They did not contact each other since they parted ways. So, Dad only found out about me when Mum’s relative told him that the last time they saw her was when she was pregnant. She already had a baby bump then, I think. He fitted the pieces together and he knew he was the father.”

“What happened after?”

She sighs, “Mum hid us very well. Dad tried all means to find me but it was hard. And then, she got married when I was five. Everything was okay at first, then my stepfather lost his job." She pauses. "He became alcoholic and… abusive.”

Apprehension becomes apparent in his eyes.

“It was mostly Mum he abused whenever he was drunk. She protected me. She didn’t let him hurt me but I saw... I witnessed all of it. The abuse, the violence, everything was so harsh. That went on for years, and then the time came when she was too beaten up she couldn’t get up and he found me hiding, he grabbed his pocket knife and choked me. He told me it was me who brought him bad luck and all the misfortunes in his life happened because of me: his unemployment, debts, the bankruptcy, addiction. And that... I was the extra package and burden to the relationship he had with Mum. While doing all that, he had the blade under my ear,” she then points at her scar, “then, it went through.”

“How did you get out of the situation?”

“When he saw me bleeding, he stormed off. I ran to Mum but she wasn’t conscious anymore. And for me, that was the best time for me to call the police. My step Dad was gone and Mum wasn’t there to stop me anymore.” Aeiyoung could still clearly remember the times she had begged her Mum, to report her abusive stepfather to the authorities but it was never done. She remembered her reasons and excuses that she loves him too much to do that, that one day, he will change. She never understood. Did her birth Mum loved her lover more than her? It was a question that would never be answered but one thing was for sure, her mother loved her in the best way she knew how.

“You were rescued?”

“Yeah,” She answers, “The police came and rescued us. While Mum was admitted in the hospital, I went through counselling. Then, weeks later, Dad came with my step Mum. They took care of me while my birth mum was in the hospital. Month passed, she didn’t survive her all the injuries her body received. It gave up.” She smiles, “But after that, everything was okay. The life I had with my birth Mum was a huge contrast compared to the life I have now with my birth Dad and step Mum.” She continues, “And with the love and care my parents now are providing me, I coped better and faster and now I’m more than okay and thankful. That’s why I did my best with everything that I was doing. It was for me, to feel that I am worth something. The same time, it was for them, to show my gratitude. I owe everything to them.”

“Mr Ji must be disappointed with himself…” Jongin whispers. He can just imagine the situation Aeiyoung’s father was in: the feeling of guilt, knowing he was able to do something but he couldn’t because he was helpless. He didn't know where they were. He could’ve rescued his daughter earlier if only he tried harder finding them and did not let years pass by. Of course, the younger male knows that her father wasn’t at fault, but can't help but think that there must’ve been that feeling inside Jeonho.

“He was.” She says. “He was so angry too. But I guess, that reflected when he showed and made me feel how much he loves and longed for me.” She meets his eyes, “Another part of me revealed, huh?”

“Aeiyoung…” Whatever he heard, it won’t change a thing to how he sees her and who she is in his heart? Why would it? If it’s part of her, he’ll accept it and he will do everything to change and replace those memories with good ones with him. He’s going to love and care her better and in the best way he can. Just like what she's done and doing now.

“It’s okay now. I am loved by you, by Mina and by parents. You four are more than enough even though I am so undeserving.”

“Aeiyoung.” He calls again, this time in a reprimanding manner. He doesn’t like it whenever she thinks she’s not deserving of the love she’s getting. His girl deserves all of it, all the love she can get in this world.

“Why? Don’t you love me?” She asks although playfully.

Jongin shots a dark glare at her and she begins to giggle. He leans forward to claim her back into his arms. He kisses her temple when he whispers, “Of all people, you should know best that you have all the love my heart can give, Aei.” He pauses, “And you, you deserve all of us, understand?”

“Yeah, I know.” She grins when he tells her, “I was kidding.”

He hums. “I love you, my baby girl.”

“I love you too.”

Pressing his lips on her once more, he asks, “Are you hungry?”

“No, not yet. Are you?”

“Nah.”

Aeiyoung snuggles herself deeper and more to her boyfriend’s chest and arms. The indulge themselves in the beautiful noise of the leaves rustling, birds chirping and the sound of the water flowing down the river stream. It’s so calm and peaceful they both wish everything will stay the same just like this.

Another hour ticks and the couple are already laying on their backs, their heads side to side, close to each other as they are positioned in opposite direction. Their legs are on opposite sides. Aeiyoung’s arm is curved, playing and caressing Jongin’s hair on the other side.

“Isn’t it interesting?” Her boyfriend opens up.

The lady lifts her head to shift so she can look at his countenance and meet his eyes. He turns back at her. “What is?” She asks.

“You and I…” He answers. “You and I have unpleasant histories of our childhood and past relationships. We both have stepmothers who loves us so much like how a biological mother would. We have so many things in similar. Don’t you think?” He pauses, “We’re both wounded and scarred… and here we are.” He smiles. “Both happy. Both of us finding the love we thought we’d never find.”

“Maybe, that’s because we fit the missing pieces of our messy puzzles. We're the perfect fit. And I’m so thankful for that.” She presumes and she hears him whisper a soft yet sincere ‘me too’. Then, she asks a question she's constantly curious of. “But, Jongin, what did you see in me?”

“Huh?”

“Why did you pursue me even though I said how scared I was of relationships and even after getting to know what happened in the past?”

There is a moment of silence, he asks back, “Then, why did you still stay after I told you about Seomi?”

“Because…” She drags, looking away, slightly upset that he’s asking this question even though he already knows the answer to it. “I love you and that’s part of your past. That’s who you are. It’s part of you.”

Jongin smiles. “That’s the same for me.” He returns.

“That’s different.” She pouts.

A knit forms in his glabella. “How so?”

“Because…”

“Because?”

“Because I am just me. Like, there are other attractive, beautiful, elegant and more gorgeous ladies out there than me. And you, you know who you are.”

No, he doesn’t. So, he asks, “Who am I?”

“Jongin…” She calls and when he remains the innocent look, she says, “You’re you. You’re brilliant, you’re handsome, you’re so capable, caring, lovable, you’re attractive, good-looking, your eyes are very expressive and shiny and you’re just so, so beautiful. There’s a whole long list to describe you but the bottom point is, it would be every girl’s dream to have you.”

The male raises an eyebrow as his ears perk up at the way his lady is describing her. He’s smirking when he asks, “So, is that how you see me?”

“Jongin~” She pouts even more. She just doesn’t see why her out of the many ladies out there that would match her beautiful man better. “Yes but don’t try to drift the topic. I’m just curious, why me?”

“You said it.” He says simply. “You are Ji Aeiyoung and that’s the best thing about you.” He explains. “And out of all ladies out there, no matter if you think they are better than you…” In which he honestly thinks they’re not. “You are the one for me. You are the perfect one for me. I didn’t know it was my dream to have you until I met you and I am damn sure I wouldn’t choose anyone else over you.”

She blushes as a whole zoo rummages inside her stomach like a young teenager being complimented by her crush. She scrunches her face adorably when she whispers, “You’re mushy.”

He leans in to kiss her cheek, and he stays his nose on it as he says, “I can be.” There is a pause. “You are the only one driving me to be like this, Aeiyoung.” Then, he rolls over, his countenance facing down on hers, he kisses her lips tenderly, “Understand now, love? I don’t want anyone but you. I just need you. So, don’t leave me, okay?”

She pecks his lips again and cups it, “Like I would.”

Jongin smiles at that. Because he, himself, will never ever leave her. How can he, when the reason why he lives is because of her?

 

A little later, when people are slowly coming to join them, that’s when the couple decides they’ve stayed long enough and they’re good to leave. Their stomachs are starting to rumble too.

Getting back to the car, they decide to dine in at one of the famous restaurants around, which is also one of the city’s pride. They get to a table by the window, getting the opportunity to still see the beautiful landscape surrounding the place, below them.

“Jongin, look!” Aeiyoung calls, pointing towards the lower ground. There are two kids, one girl and one boy, wearing their kindergarten uniforms as they play together. The older lady with them, assuming to be their mother, chastises the young ones to be careful because they might trip.

The male turns to where her finger is pointing and he smiles.

“They’re so cute!” She utters.

The curve in his lips grow wider when he looks back at her. He puts his cheek on his palm, tilting his face, looking at his lady fondly.

It’s not long when she notices and feels that, so she questions, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Just you know… thinking of the future.” The grin on his face cannot be hidden. “I’m so excited.”

Aeiyoung props her elbow on the table, going in the same position as him with an amused smile, “And what’s in this future that paints this affectionate smile on your face and excites you so much?”

“Little Aeiyoung and little Jongin running around…”

She smiles, flushed, “Little Aeiyoung and little Jongin, huh?”

“Yes!” He cheers charmingly. He’s never been so sure of anything in his life.

“So, only two kids?” Honestly, she is surprised to see the male bringing up and initiating the topic himself. She thought he’d be aloof with it, but apparently, that’s not the case.

“Two, three, four… I don’t mind. Whatever my queen wants, she gets.” Aeiyoung feels her cheek tint pink. He says as he imagines, “I feel so excited and ecstatic at the thought. You and I and our kids, together as a happy family with full of love. You being my lovely and beautiful wife…” Jongin can’t honestly wait for that time of his life.

“Having kids and the thought of being a father doesn’t scare you anymore?”

He shakes his head, keeping her eyes locked with his. “No.” He answers. “Not, especially when it’s with you.” With her, Jongin knows everything will be okay. Because with her, he is a hundred times stronger. “I don’t want anyone else as mother of my kids but you.”

“You’re being incredibly sweet today…” She whispers but clear and loud enough for her to hear. He’s so sweet— too sweet that it can scare her, like there is something out there waiting to happen. Perhaps, a storm or upheaval, to test them. But she decides not to dwell on it. She's loving the moment and she wants to savour it as far and as deep she can. “Is that an unplanned proposal for me?”

Jongin chuckles. He reaches for her hand, kissing her knuckles. “Not yet.” He answers. Because by the time he’s going to do that, he wants it to be special, to be a memory that would last a lifetime both in her mind and her heart. “I’m just letting you know that I do have plans of marrying you; of spending the rest of my lifetime with you, to have a family with you. And I’m asking you to be ready when the time clicks and I actually do propose to spend our days, until our last breath, together.”

Aeiyoung smiles, appreciating and loving each and every word that the man she loves said. “I love you, Jongin.” She confesses, like the many times she has, but all of it she means with the same sincerity. If not, it’s more.

He smiles, his gaze can’t help but look at her like she is his world, like she is the centre of her universe. Well… she is. “I love you too, Ji Aeiyoung.”

Feeling euphoric inside as her mind crawls back to little Jongin and little Aeiyoung, she utters affectionately, “You know what I think? I think our kids would be so beautiful. Especially getting those genes from you… oh dear.” She can already see Jongin’s little son having girls run after him.

The male laughs heartily, “Speak for yourself, my lady. You are as just beautiful too.”

She wrinkles her nose as pouts. “You're saying that because I’m your girlfriend.” She accuses.

He shakes his head. The smile doesn’t leave his face. “I can bet anyone will agree to me that you are really beautiful.”

“Stop it.” She juts her bottom lips even more. She lowers her head feeling extremely shy, being not good with compliments.

“I can go and ask the people here.” He says, threatening to stand on his feet when his lady stops him.

“No, don’t.” Her eyes are widely open. She can’t believe he’s being like this. But looking at him, it is so refreshing to see how carefree and gleeful he looks. It’s like he’s a man enjoying and loving his life with nothing to worry. Not a hint of stress or anything is apparent to the lively and bright face he’s wearing. “For as long as you find me beautiful, no one and nothing else matters.”

Jongin’s lips curve into a fond smile unconsciously, knowing that how he sees his girl is very enough for her.

With that, she changes the topic, wanting to get out of it as she asks, “Have you been here before?”

“No, but so far of what I heard, I think it’s good here.”

“Better be…” She picks up the water of glass they were served earlier. After drinking a sip of it, she wrinkles her nose as she utters, “I’m starving and my stomach craves for some good food.”

Jongin laughs, being the same page as her, “Me too.”

 

Night comes and just like the method they used to come, they left with the helicopter, getting Aeiyoung to see the skyline and view of the landscape beneath the dark sky that is brightened up with the city lights.

It is a breathtaking view that the lady can’t help but gasp, causing the male to smile contentedly. His lady is loving the view and he is too, except his view is only focused on hers.

“You like it?” He asks.

Aeiyoung tilts her head with a fond smile. “I do. It’s so pretty.”

“That’s good.” He breathes, kissing her hand.

Now, one thing from her list-of-outdoor activities to try is crossed off the list and he’s planning to cross out more as time goes on.

Once landed, Jongin gives his thanks to the pilot, where for the pilot there is really no need to. It’s always been a big pleasure and honour to work under the young CEO. His full loyalty is with him.

Taking the lift down to the grounds, Aeiyoung is expecting Gyo to be waiting and standing by the car but it baffles her to see a different man and younger. She looks at the male and he doesn’t seem surprise.

“Seo.” Jongin greets.

“Mr Kim.” He bows and then turns at the lady, “Ms Ji.”

Seeing his girlfriend’s confused look, he begins to explain, “He’s Seo, my other driver and security. He trained under Gyo so he’s straight after him.”

“Ah…” She turns to the man, “Good evening, Seo.” She nods, acknowledging his presence.

He gives a polite smile then he goes ahead and opens the car door at the rear.

Jongin leads her and she gets in as he goes to the other side.

The absence of the usual man who looks after their safety and convenience rather feels foreign for Aeiyoung. Perhaps the fact that she is not used to have someone different than Gyo makes her feel a little uneasy. She wonders where he is and if everything is okay.

So when Jongin gets in, she asks softly, “Where’s Gyo?”

“Her daughter was rushed to the hospital and he needs to be with his family.” He informs.

She gasps, “Oh my god.”

He nods once. “I’m hoping that nothing so bad happened to her.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“It is.” He agrees, “But everything will be okay. It will be.” He believes, because he knows Gyo is a good man and the man doesn’t deserve any less. “You’ll stay over, right?”

“Yeah,” She manages to smile. “I know you want me to.”

He chuckles, bobbing his head. “I do.” He eyes at her when he says, “I’m not planning to let you go tonight, anyway.”

With that, Aeiyoung leans to hug him but it only gives him opportunity to snuggle her inside his arms.

 

The next morning, Aeiyoung wakes up with the feeling of someone’s knuckles, caressing her cheeks. A touch that is so familiar and warm.

She flutters her eyelids open, smiling sleepily. As she opens her eyes more, she sees that her man is already dressed up, ready for work.

“Good morning.” He greets so sweetly, his eyes flowing with so much affection.

“Good morning…” She greets as she slowly gets up, glancing at the time. She rests her cheek over her knees that is covered with the soft duvet. “You’re early…”

“I’m late actually.” He admits. “I have a breakfast meeting in about…” He checks his wristwatch, “ten minutes.” He’s supposed to be annoyed but no, he’s smiling, no hint of any irritation or vexation in his gaze. Like, it’s all okay, that he doesn’t mind being late at all. His aura is so light, carefree and affectionate. It baffles her.

Hence, it causes her to knit her eyebrow slightly in wonder, “Then why are you still here?”

“I was going to leave, actually.” He reveals. “But I couldn’t bear to, after seeing you sleep so peacefully and angelic like that.” He kisses her temple. “I like this.” He confesses. “You, asleep like just then, everything is well and just lovely.” Everything feels perfect, it’s so surreal.

She hums, “Me too. I like it.” Every nights spent with Jongin is always warm and affectionate.

“By the way, Mum called, and she's asking if we can join them for a dinner in three nights including tonight.” He informs.

“What’s going on?” She asks, out of pure curiosity.

He shrugs, explaining, “It’s just Mum wanting to gather us from time to time.”

She giggles, “Auntie is so sweet and cute.”

“She is.” He agrees. “So, we’re going?”

She bobs her head, “Of course, we are.”

“Okay.” He beams. “I’ll give Mum a call on my way to my meeting.” There is a quick silence when he says, “I’d like to stay longer but,” He sighs regretfully. “I really have to go.”

She nods, understanding him. “Be careful, okay? And have a good day.”

She wants him to stay but she knows that would be impossible. He already sacrificed his day yesterday to be with her and now, his time to be prompt for his early meeting and knowing his situation, she knows too well he can’t be any later.

“You too.” He returns sincerely. He’s really tempted to stay but… He takes a deep breath again. “I got Mikyeong to prepare breakfast for you. It’s ready when you are.”

“Okay.” She nods again.

“Don’t leave without having your breakfast, okay?”

“I won’t.” She assures.

Contented with that assurance, Jongin reluctantly gets up and presses his lips on her forehead. “I love you.” He slides the pad of his thumb to the apple of her cheeks, cupping one side of her face.

“I love you, too.” She leaps up and kisses his chin. “Let me go now. You’re already late, remember? I don’t think your maybe future business associates would like that.”

He chuckles, “Okay. Call me when you’re off to and at work, okay?”

Knowing he’s going to be busy, she says, “I’ll just message you. It will be easier that way.”

“Okay.” He doesn’t argue because she’ll be with the man whom he trusts. “Gyo will take you.”

“He’s back?” She asks.

“He reported back earlier this morning.” He explains.

“But why is Gyo taking me? Shouldn’t he be with you?”

Jongin shakes his head. “I am more at ease when I know Gyo is with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, baby.” He reassures. “I got to go now. I love you.”

“Be safe and hope everything goes well.” She wishes.

The male doesn’t doubt because how could he? With Aeiyoung, he wants to be more optimistic, not because of his natural skills in business but because he knows he’s gone better with her by his side. Not taking another minute, he lets go of her and heads off for work. The same time she gets on her feet and walks to the shower to freshen up to start off her day. More than half an hour later, she's at the kitchen where the housekeeper is preparing her packed lunch. The older lady greets her with a warm smile.

As Aeiyoung takes sit on the kitchen bench stool, she sees her plate of breakfast ready with a single stem of red tulips next to it with a note. Mikyeong sees her surprised and perplexed look so she explains her boss’ sweet and thoughtful gesture before leaving.

The lady’s heart warms and picks up the note in her hand, personally written by her man, to read.

Take care of yourself at work, just like you always remind me. I hope you have a good day, my love. I love you so much.

— Your Jongin

Seeing the reaction from her, the housekeeper can’t help herself but utter, “It’s very sweet of him.”

She doesn’t disagree with that. “It is.” She whispers. She grabs her bag and slips the card into her purse, so she doesn’t lose it. Then, she takes the flower to her fingers, touching it very delicately with her other hand. Her eyes linger at the flower, appreciating its colour and the meaning behind it. When she's had enough, she puts it down and eats her breakfast.

After breakfast, she gets up and bids a goodbye to the housekeeper, meeting Gyo by the foyer in his usual formal black suit. The older male leads the way and takes their way down to the garage.

She gets in the car and Gyo drives off to take her to work, leaving a message to Jongin like promised. On the way there, Aeiyoung takes the opportunity to ask him about his daughter, after knowing what happened from Jongin last night.

“Gyo.” She calls.

“Yes, Ms Ji?”

“Is your daughter okay?” She asks carefully. “Jongin mentioned to me last night what happened.”

He smiles appreciatively, “She is okay now, Ms Ji. Thanks for asking.”

Looking at the male through the rearview mirror, Aeiyoung can see the fatherly side of him. She can see how much he cares and loves his family.

“Is she still in the hospital?” She asks further, hoping he wouldn’t find her nosy.

“She is.” He answers both politely and patiently. He’s glad at the concern the lady is giving, much similar to the concern Jongin showed earlier when he reported that he’s back on duty. “But only because she's under observation. If there isn’t anything wrong by the end of the day, the doctor said she can go home.”

Aeiyoung breathes in relief. “That’s good.”

“We’re still blessed, Ms Ji.”

“That’s right.” She agrees.

 

Arriving at Iveely, she is greeted by her team, proceeding on with their agenda for the day. Nara and the rest doesn’t miss how radiant and blooming their team leader looks. Of course, they’ve seen her like that before, especially the past months but every time they do, it still feels new and refreshing.

The day goes on hectic though smoothly for both of them and ends warmly at that too. Jongin has left her a message, bringing her the news that her car has been repaired and Gyo has parked it on Iveely’s parking lot. The keys are left in the reception, knowing how busy the day is for her.

Well, initially, he proposed to replace the car instead of having it repaired but Aeiyoung insisted to keep it. Part of it is because she doesn’t want him to spend unnecessary money for a new car for her when the mechanics have stated that it is fixable though costing a lot of money (most of it was covered by the insurance, so though she had to spend money out of her savings, it isn’t so much) and second, the car is her first ever car that she bought with her very own money that came from her hard work. It isn’t just any car to her as it holds a sentimental value. With that argument, Jongin resigned but still made sure that the car is ready and safe to drive once his girlfriend uses it again. He doesn’t want to risk her safety at any point.

Arriving home that day, Aeiyoung and Mina joins each other at dinner, once again having their usual sister bond session. They chat from the point of cooking together, eating together, then washing the dishes. But things don’t end there, they continue to chat at the entertainment area while watching a random television show until it’s late.

The next day starts off like the usual except, Aeiyoung feels rather excited to be driving her car once again. She missed her baby so much and although she isn’t a big fan of cars, she does love this car for the value it holds. Nothing too extraordinary happens for the rest of it as she is doing the usual for her job. She doesn’t get to see Jongin for the day but, they call each other a few times, especially on the later part of the day.

Following day, Aeiyoung is in the venue location for one of the events she is currently handling when she receives a phone call. As she's only supervising, she excuses herself and takes it.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Ms Ji Aeiyoung?” The caller asks.

“Speaking.” She answers.

“Hello,” The woman on the other end greets again, more genteel this time. “This is Dr Kang.”

“Oh, Dr Kang. Hello, how are you?”

“I’m good, thank you for asking.” She pauses, “Ms Ji, I’m hoping you’re not busy and I didn’t catch you at a bad time?”

“Oh no, you didn’t. How may I help you?”

“Are you perhaps busy tomorrow at twelve noon?”

“Is this about my health results?” For some reason, she begins to feel anxious. “Is there something wrong?”

Calmly, Dr Kang says, “There's nothing as such, but I do think it would be better to discuss about it personally— for precautions and anything that is necessary.”

“I understand.” She tries to remain calm. “Uh, was it twelve noon tomorrow, did you say?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then.”

“See you then, Ms Ji.” The doctor returns casually before ending the call.

Aeiyoung bites her lips, starting to wonder what her results are like but at the same time, she wants to trust her doctor’s words that everything is fine and hopefully, meeting her is a matter of formality.

“Ms Ji, the technician wants to talk to with you.” Tan, a member of her team, informs her.

“Where is he?”

“This way.” He shows and she follows, trying to divert her current thoughts.

 

It is around five in the afternoon when she got back to Iveely after successfully inspecting the main and biggest venue. She bids her team a job well done and she goes back to her office getting all the stuff she needed and the other that she doesn’t. She is on her way out when she receives a phone call from Jongin.

As soon as she answers, she hears him ask, “Getting out of work?”

She hums. “About to. Why?”

“I’m in front of Iveely.”

Hearing that, an uncontrollable smile graces her lips, “Are you?”

“Yeah, I want to have dinner with you.” He says. “Missed you yesterday.”

“Okay, I’ll make it down in two minutes.”

Quickly, Aeiyoung grabs her keys and bag, heading out to see her man. Just like he said, he is there, waiting for her in his car. She slides in and comes across to give him a kiss.

“What a surprise.” She says, delighted.

“Hmm, I didn’t want to let the night come through without seeing you.” He confesses. It’s been just a day he hasn’t seen her, but strangely, he missed her so much than he should.

“I wanted to see you too.” She admits, not intending to sound sombre at all, like she did. Perhaps it’s the influence of her anxiousness about her health results.

“Is there anything wrong?” He asks.

“No.” She smiles. She takes a deep breath, releasing the stuck up air inside her. “I’m fine. So, where to?”

“Where would you like?”

“Anywhere.”

“Do you like to go out?”

“You know I like staying in.” She says.

“Then, we’ll stay in.” He decides. Honestly, he doesn’t feel like going anywhere either.

Jongin drives to her place as they come to a decision that they will rather stay relaxed and cozy there than go anywhere.

 

Aeiyoung is behind the stove, cooking and Jongin, like usual, is watching her ever so fondly. In which she thinks, she won’t ever get used to it.

“Is Mina coming late?” He asks, now that he realises his girlfriend’s best-friend hasn’t arrived yet.

“Well, she won’t be home for dinner because…” She pauses, tasting her cooking with a different spoon. “... she would be watching Chanyeol’s music gig and then I guess, they would be dating after?” She says unsurely. Then, she turns to Jongin, “Can you please taste this and tell me how it is?”

He doesn’t say anything as he stands up, walking leisurely towards her. He leans in to taste the soup on the spoon Aeiyoung is holding.

“Be careful, it’s hot.” She warns, as she blows to make it a little cooler for him.

Jongin takes a sip and lets the flavour sink into his taste buds. After a few seconds, his eyes light up.

“It’s okay?” She asks, eyes asking for approval. When she sees he’s being mischievous, she pouts and begins to taste the soup herself.

“It’s so tasty, Aeiyoung. Really good!” He finally says.

She breathes in relief, “Can’t let my king eat bland food.”

“I doubt I would if it’s you cooking.” He can even bet that if this keeps up, he’ll get fat in no time.

The lady playfully smacks his arm as she tells him, “Come on, you’re just hungry!”

Jongin laughs and turns to one of the drawers to get two bowls and plates out as Aeiyoung serves her dish to a serving bowl.

But, instead of sitting in the dining table, for a change, they decide to eat behind the kitchen counter top.

Seeing the male eat heartily, it satisfies her so much. She silently goes to thank her Mum for teaching her how to cook and for the independence living away from parents has taught her.

“Do you think you can join me for lunch tomorrow?” Jongin asks before taking another bite of the supper.

Aeiyoung looks at him, slightly surprised. She freezes momentarily but too quick for him to notice. “I don’t think I can…”

“Why not?”

“I have an appointment tomorrow. It’s pretty urgent.” She explains, intentionally leaving out the fact that it’s Dr Kang she's going to meet.

Truth to be told, she doesn’t want to let him know because she feels strangely uneasy. It’s like her intuition is telling that something isn’t good despite hearing the words from her Doctor that nothing is so bad. It’s just… she doesn’t want him to know or to come with her, just in case. And if everything is good anyway, she can just freely tell him that nothing is wrong. If ever there is something wrong, then at least she can prepare herself in telling him. Though the thought is already hard for her.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers apologetically.

“Hey, that’s okay!” Jongin doesn’t mind. He thinks she doesn’t need to be sorry. “Besides, I’m going to pick you up from Mum’s dinner tomorrow anyway.” Because, what is missing lunch when they have forever, right?

 

Twelve noon of the following day comes sooner than Aeiyoung had imagine. Now currently inside the premises of the place she isn’t very fond of, she takes the lift towards Dr Kang’s office. She receives a message from Jongin, telling her how he misses her and how he’s so keen for tonight. A instinctive smile graces her face, slightly washing away the anxiousness she's feeling. She types a reply back before hiding it away.

As she arrives, a fellow doctor greets her before she goes inside to see her there waiting.

She bows politely as the doctor greets her amiably.

“Have a seat, Ms Ji.” She offers.

Not wasting any time, nor any moment, the same time wanting to get rid of the unnecessary thoughts and worries inside her head, she takes the seat.

Dr Kang gives her a pile of her results from all the examination she did a couple days; in which are all greatly sealed for her to keep a personal copy of.

“Thank you for coming in. I know how busy you can get.”

“No worries.” She smile politely. At this point she is just hoping that all of this is just for formality sake.

Starting straightaway, Dr Kang doesn’t waste any second, “Your results are generally okay. The formal report is in there.” She gestures towards the envelopes. She goes on explaining her results for each of the examinations she went through. By the end of it, she informs, presenting a prescription along with a bag, “Here are the medicines you can take so we can boost up your immune system, which was mainly the concern. And in no more than three months, we’ll have to get you in again to check progress. But I’m positive your general health will be okay from now on.”

She breathes in relief. Her worry is about to wash away until it is restraint as she sees the concerned look the doctor is wearing. Apprehensive, she asks, “Is there anything wrong?”

The doctor takes her time, not wanting for the lady to panic or any of sort for what she is about to break out. After all, she is a woman too and breaking out such news will never be easy.

“Ms Ji…” She starts slowly. She sees her patient’s earnest eyes. “Your results have, furthermore, showed indication of possible infertility.”

Aeiyoung’s breath hitches. No way… no.

And this is exactly what the doctor is scared of. But she has to continue, “By this… it means that—”

“It would be difficult for me to get pregnant.” She finishes it off for her. “Isn’t it, Dr Kang?”

“Yes,” She confirms.

So, she's right after all, that is whole thing isn’t just formality, as much as she hoped. Aeiyoung finds her foot in the pit of devastation.

“But Ms Ji, I want you to understand that it is still possible for you to get pregnant.”

But, she isn’t stupid and at the moment, there are really no right words to alter the flood of emotions currently crashing her. So as much as it hurts her, the reality of her condition is already inside her head. “It’s just that—” She stops. She attempts to swallow the lump behind . Taking a deep breath, she continues, “It’s just that it’s either getting pregnant would be very difficult and if ever I do get pregnant, it will be very risky and sensitive. Right?”

“Ms Ji.”

“Right?” She repeats, tears are already lying below her waterline.

As difficult as it is, the doctor confirms, “Yes, Ms Ji. That’s right.”

“Dr Kang, since we are at this already, please tell me the truth.” She requests, receiving a nod a second later. “Let’s consider the scenario of me being pregnant and complications do come in the way, is there a possibility that my family or my partner,” In her head, it is Jongin, “would need to choose between me or the child?”

“There is always that possibility, Ms Ji. Even for her a healthy woman.” She clarifies.

“Higher chances for me, I suppose?”

“We can’t be certain. But,” For the sake of granting her request earlier, she says, “Yes.”

Aeiyoung bites back her cry but she fails to stop the tears already lying on top of her waterline to stream down her cheeks. She remains quiet for a while, not knowing what to think as devastation and agony comes and takes over her. Her hands are gripped tightly on the handle of her bag to suppress any outstanding emotions. She succeeds on the outside, but on the inside, it isn’t much of an help as she's crumbling down. She tries her best to think as rational as possible but despite of it all, this is not the future Jongin wants for them.

And she doesn’t want him to suffer again. She doesn’t want him to go through the pain again of losing of what he’s now dreaming to have and to go through the pain and grief of losing the person whom he loves so much. She doesn’t want the time to come when Jongin will need to choose between his child or her, if she does get pregnant. Neither she wants to take Jongin’s dream away of becoming a father if he decides to marry and be with her. She wants Jongin to have kids like how he just began dreaming of.

This world is so cruel. It’s so cruel, harsh and cold. Especially for her and… him— for both of them.

What did she do so wrong in this life for this to come at her, to come at them? What? Why? Just why?

Aeiyoung tries to keep herself composed. When she has succeeded of somewhat calming herself down, not taking the chance to breakdown in front of the doctor, she looks up.

“Have you informed Jongin anything about this?” She asks.

“No.” The doctor answers.

“Please, don’t. Please advise Dr Heo to not let him know anything either. This is a favour from me as your patient.”

“Of course, Ms Ji.” All doctors took an oath, after all.

With that promise, she stands on her feet, taking everything that is hers. She tries to display a smile although her eyes clearly shows otherwise. “Thank you for your time, Dr Kang.”

“Ms Ji, please don’t lose hope.”

Aeiyoung can’t really promise. But, she bobs her head once.

“Please be careful on your way out.”

The lady leaves the office with her head down. She takes steps after another step and another, feeling herself crashing, thinking of the future after what has come to her knowledge.

She gets into her car and that’s the only time she silently breaks down. Her tears are unstoppable as she feels her heart being broken into tiny little pieces. It’s so heavy and suffocating. She can barely breathe. All this time, all she's thinking of is Jongin and what trouble this is going to be, for her, for him and for their relationship.

This isn’t what Jongin deserves. This isn’t it. This is just not it.

And though, she's clearly aware of how much the male loves her, for the times he has reassured her, she only comes down to one point, he doesn’t deserve her.

Not because he isn’t enough to her but because she isn’t enough for him. And she will never be.

Jongin deserves more, so much more and she believes that she can’t be that woman to him.

---

AUTHOR’s NOTE:

Haven't proofread yet.

Woooh, I feel sad, omg. How do you guys feel? I know I told a reader that nothing bad will happen to Aeiyoung or Jongin and nothing "bad" happened, at least not physically or literally. I'm sorry.

Anyway, the reason I made this early update despite not being a chapter ahead, is because I have an announcement to make. I am going to go on a holiday and I won’t be back until next year, 2nd of January. So yes, there will be no updates until then. Sorry for the torture but I also didn’t want to just not update after being aware that I will be gone. Luckily, I have a chapter ready ahead. I promise to make it up, haha, as I will still be continuing to write in between, just not going to update until after 2nd of January. Hopefully.

With that, see you guys next year! Have a good holiday, everyone!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!