Chapter Twelve

Aeiyoung presses her lips together. She can only hope that after he hears it, he won’t leave, that nothing negative will change in the relationship they share now.

Seeing her eyes water, he places her hand over his, clenching on it tight but far from painful. He does this, remembering how his mother did it to him when he had moments he couldn’t let go of the pressure pushing over his chest. When she does so, he feels the courage and strength he lost getting inside him, as though his mother’s hold was transferring it to him.

He can see how Aeiyoung is having such a hard time opening-up. Hopefully, with the same effect it had on him, she’ll able to finally speak, because only then he would know what to do. Jongin dislikes the feeling of being helpless, especially when it involves her.

She stays silent momentarily as she put words together inside her messy mind. When she feels she’s ready, she speaks up, “Remember when I told you that Kangjun and I had a little argument?” Jongin nods, listening. “He came to my office to apologise the next day. It was after work. — And I broke him.” She confesses painfully, tear streaming off down her cheek. “I lost him, trying to save the friendship I thought we always had — that I wanted to keep. I didn’t want to lose him, Jongin. He’s a special friend to me but I just couldn’t give back what he feels for me.”

Wiping her tears with his thumb gently, Jongin leans and hugs Aeiyoung. He lets him cry on his shoulder, caressing her head as though she’s the most fragile thing in the world. He hushes and looks at her. “Kangjun will understand. Maybe not now, but soon.”

Because to Jongin, if this Kangjun guy really loves her, he won’t force her to love him the same way he does with her. He won’t do anything to make the woman he loves unhappy. It isn’t easy because even to him, the thought of Aeiyoung being in another man’s arms is already painful and heart-breaking. But if she’s happy, no matter how it’ll break him, he’ll accept it, even if it requires him to love from afar. It isn’t easy but it is possible.

She looks down, drying her cheeks. “I just don’t know where he is. I haven’t heard anything from him. What if…what if something happened to him? It’s all my fault, Jongin.”

Sensing her panic, he shakes his head and pulls her back to his chest. “He’ll be fine. He is fine, Aeiyoung. Don’t torture yourself for something that hasn’t happened yet. I don’t like seeing you like this.”

She nibbles her bottom lip with uncertainty, stopping her tears from falling, “I’m such a cruel person.” She whispers. “For hurting him like that. I did not even give him a chance. I didn’t even let him in.”

“You’re not.” He answers. He pulls away, looking down at her delicately. “You’re not a bad person, Aeiyoung. Don’t think like that.” When she doesn’t say anything, he continues, “There will never be a painless heartbreak, you can never avoid it. So, don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“He courted me for months, sacrificed and did so many things, only for a woman like me. Only for me to do that to him just like that.” She says, recalling how torn Kangjun looked back in her office.

“Only for a woman like you?” Jongin questions. “You’re not just any woman, Aeiyoung.” Not to Kangjun, and particularly not to him. Perhaps, expressing his mere affections for her won’t be ever enough to make her feel the effect she has on him.

“And, you. You’re doing so much for me. I don’t want a day to come that you’ll regret doing them. So, if you’re having second thoughts of p—”

“No.” He says firmly. “I’m not having any second thoughts. It takes more than you rejecting another man for me to give up. You can keep pushing me away, but I can’t promise I’ll give up.” He vows. Jongin doesn’t want to give up until he sees someone is making her happy in a way he can never can. Though, at the deepest part of his heart, he wishes that, that someone is him. He wishes that it is him who can make Aeiyoung happy and feel loved more than ever. Because whenever he’s with her, he’s finding his new purpose to continue living.

“But what if I hurt you the way I did to Kangjun?” She worries.

He cups her face, simply answering. “It won’t make what I’m feeling for you any less.”

“Oh,” Aeiyoung breathes, wrapping her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, completely ignoring the compartment between them.

He is taken aback at the action she just did but nonetheless returns the embrace, holding her warmly.

They stay like that for a moment and when she pulls away, he requests, “Please smile for me.”

She looks at him, the dullness of her gaze turns to appreciation. She manages to curve her lips into a small smile and that is more than enough for Jongin. At least, it isn’t forced anymore.

Perhaps, Jongin thinks, he doesn’t just like her anymore. It’s too soon to say but he loves her. He loves Aeiyoung. Because seeing her smile just like that… he finds himself in an unknown place. It’s as though making and keeping her happy is Jongin’s new mission in his life. Because when she’s smiling, when she’s happy, he finds himself in the same state.

Isn’t that what love is? The simple happiness of your loved one becomes your own happiness. It’s a point where the happiness of the other person is essential to your own. When the person you love smiles, you smile too. They become your sunshine without them even knowing.

Parking by the kerbside in front of her place, he gives a smile and bids her, “Good night?”

“Good night.” Aeiyoung is unsure whether that was a question or a greeting but either way, it’s a good night. With him, it’s always a good night.

After she broke down in front of him, a huge weight is lifted off her chest. She still worries about Kangjun’s whereabouts and wellbeing, but the pressure over her heart isn’t so heavy anymore.

“Drive safe.” She tells him, not avoiding his eyes anymore, twinkling by a bit. She realises that, ever since they first met, Jongin has always been her angel.

“I will.” He can’t let himself get hurt, now that she’s in his life.

She gets off his car and doesn’t go in until he drives off. As she turns, Mina opens the gate for her.

“That’s Mr Kim?” she asks. But, she knows the answer to it already as she’s already home when Jongin’s driver parked her car. She was going to worry but she didn’t. Aeiyoung was with Jongin which is definitely better than she is with herself.

Aeiyoung nods as her response.

Mina gingerly studies her best-friend and she spots something she hasn’t seen in her eyes for the past days. No matter how much Aeiyoung would pretend that she’s okay, she’ll always know if it is true or not. Seeing her now, however, she sees how lighter her aura is — like she can see her heart free from a tight knot.

She doesn’t need to say anything anymore. After all, it’s easy for her tell that it’s because of Jongin, she sees her like this.

She smiles, “Let’s go inside. I cooked for us.”

Sunday night, Jongin is standing by the balustrade of the balcony, looking at the wide ground underneath them. His hands are inside his pockets when he is approached by his mother, Younji.

“Thought you might want some.” She offers a wine of glass, with one she’s drinking on her own.

He pulls out his own hand from his pocket and takes the wine. “Thanks.” They share a toast.

The mother and son stand side by side, embracing the cool wind of autumn breezing through. Sera, Jaein and their father, Jeho are all sitting in the family area, having their own little talks like a King with his princesses.

“If your sister hasn’t arrived, you wouldn’t have come to see us.”

“Mum…” Jongin calls.

Younji chuckles. “I’m kidding, son.”

The son smiles sadly, feeling sorry for being a not good enough son. His mother has given and continuously fill them with love and car. He feels insufficient as a son. “I’m sorry, Mum. Sorry for both of you and Dad. I know I haven’t given the same love you guys gave me. I’m sorry, I’m so messed up.”

“The same love?” She turns to look at her precious son. “There’s no such thing. All kinds of love are unique. The love we give to you as parents will be different from the love you give us as our children.” She explains.

“I just feel like I could be a better son…” He mumbles.

“You are our good son, Jongin.” She states. “You might have messed up in the past, but that will never, ever be who you’re going to be in the future. The choice is always yours. Know that, my son.”

Jongin nods, taking in his mother’s words seriously.

After a little silence, Younji opens a topic, she’s been wanting to talk about with him. “So, how is she?”

His brow knits in perplexity. “She?”

She smiles, “The girl you talked to me about. The girl you met and whom won’t get out of your mind.”

“Ah.” The perplexity in his eyes soften and soon, brightens. He looks down as a sweet, soft smile curves his lips, memories of him and Aeiyoung paint inside his mind. “Aeiyoung.” He says so gently.

“Aeiyoung, you said?”

He lifts his head and meets his mother’s gaze, his smile not changing. “Yeah, Ji Aeiyoung.”

The twinkle sparkling out of his orbs lets Younji know that there is now a sunshine in her son’s life — something that she barely can remember seeing. “How are things?”

“It’s okay.” He starts. “We’re taking things slow.”

The mother just can’t contain her curiosity. She’s never seen her son like this; talking about a girl with such dreamy yet bright eyes. It’s something new to her and she feels as though she’s an excited mother who has seen her child walk for the first time. The combination of excitement and curiosity prompts her to request. “Talk to me about her.”

Jongin chuckles. “When I came back from Singapore for a business trip, I took her to The Aurora. We went for a cruise.”

“Okay…” Younji doesn’t want to talk much. She wants Jongin to continue speaking.

“She’s such a beautiful woman, Mum.” He expresses but it’s just a tip of huge iceberg he wants to say. As though for him, using all the describing words in the dictionary won’t ever be sufficient to describe just how beautiful the lady is to his eyes. “I got to know her more during that overnight cruise. We talked and talking to her, I felt like I could be just me, talking to her feels so light. I’m happy. I’m happy when she is. I like who I am when I am with her. She gives me a reason to be hopeful about so many things above my consternation and trepidation — and she doesn’t even know she does that. But more than liking who I am, she makes me want to be a better version of myself, that perhaps, I am not bound to be just a ed-up man.”

“You love her, don’t you?” A mother can tell from the look of her son’s eyes as he talks about her.

“Love?” Jongin sips up some wine, looking up. Is it love? He looks back at her unsurely. “Is it too soon to say I love her? That this thing I’m feeling is love. It’s only been weeks since I’ve known her.”

She places a hand over his shoulder. “Love has no proper timeline, my son. When it’s real, nothing is too soon or too late.”

Taking his time to think, he doesn’t utter a word.

“You know, I really can’t wait to meet her. Why don’t you bring her here on my birthday dinner?”

He smiles appreciatively. “I would love to, Mum. But I’ll have to see with her.” He says, considering the lady’s situation and what she told him. “She’s a little scared.”

“Scared? Why would she be?”

“Oh no, Mum.” He shakes his head. “She’s not scared of meeting you or the family. She just mentioned to me when I told her that I like her about how she is scared. I don’t why. I didn’t ask because I know it’s something she’s sensitive and not comfortable with. I’m just glad she didn’t reject me, she just gave me… a warning, I guess. One of the reasons why we’re taking things in our own pace.”

Younji hums, thinking out loud, “That is very thoughtful of her.”

“Mum?”

Noticing her son’s baffled face, she explains, “I think it’s very thoughtful of her to have the courtesy of telling you honestly that she’s scared. To tell you the truth, if that was me, if I was in her shoes, I wouldn’t tell you any of that.”

Jongin nods, understanding her words. He gets what his mother is saying. “She got me prepared for what I was getting myself into. And that, only made me surer of what I feel for her then.” He pauses, “Because I’m willing to wait — for her to take all the time she needs.”

Hearing such words, Younji is certain about who is this lady named Ji Aeiyoung is to his son, Kim Jongin.

“Can I join you guys?”

Both the mother and the son turn their heads to see Jaein standing coyly while holding a glass of cold fruit juice between her both hands. She’s anxious that she might’ve interrupt what seems to be a deep conversation they are sharing.

Her brother curves his lips and bobs his head towards their direction. “Come.”

Delighted, the youngest lady walks her way hurriedly to her brother and mother. Younji and Jongin share glances, smiling quietly. Jaein will forever be the baby of their family.

Standing between them, she asks, “What were you guys talking about?” None of them answer anything which makes the lady crease her forehead in bewilderment. She highly doubts they are talking about her, or her older sister. She carefully thinks about what could be going on between the queen and prince of their family. She takes a wild guess, “Were you guys talking about Aeiyoung?”

Surprised, Younji drops her jaw slightly. “You’ve met her?”

Jaein nods proudly. “I have. And I like her so much!”

“Do you now?” Their mother asks amusedly.

“You’ll understand why once you meet her.” She states.

“I am keener to see her, then. Hopefully, your brother will bring her over?” She looks at Jongin, who only just shrugs. He’s hoping, too.

The daughter giggles, “You’ll meet her, Mum. I am sure of that!”

Jongin sighs. Changing the topic, he asks his little sister, “So, what are your plans now?”

Completely putting aside the gleeful smile she’s wearing earlier, she hums innocently as her eyes wander. She presses her lips, answering, “I’m thinking of establishing my own fashion line.”

The brother tilts her head, thrown in surprise. The same way their mother is. “So, you’re settled with fashion?”

“I am. I’m planning to take more courses in Paris whilst doing that. About time, I finally found what I’m really passionate about.”

Younji chortles, “Sweetie, you talk as though you’re really old. You’re still young, may I remind you.”

“Mum…” She suspires. “I know a lot of money has been spent on me getting on these courses at different Universities and even going as far as me studying abroad. I know I haven’t showed it, but I feel bad about it. I can’t just keep being like this. I got to do something too.” She looks away. “Besides, Jongin was in the same age as me when he started his company.”

“Darling,” Her mother calls, caressing her hair. “You and your brother are different. You don’t have to do the way he did things.”

“But I really like fashion. I enjoy and love it!” She asserts.

Younji gives her a proud smile, “Okay. We’re all here to support in whatever you’d like to do.”

“Also,” Jongin wonders, “when did we ever pressure you about things?”

“Never.” Jaein shrugs. “I just said it.”

“Think about what I felt when I told them that I want to be a doctor.”

From a distance, they hear Sera say, joining in with Jeho standing by her side.

“But you’re different.” Jaein reasons. “You’re smart.” She says as they come forward towards their direction.

“And you’re capable. You’re brave and you’re courageous. Why else do you think it took me years to finally decide I didn’t like Law as my career?”

She pouts.

“I honestly can’t do what you’re doing.” Sera confesses.

“So, you’re thinking of opening your own fashion line?” Jeho asks, putting a hand over his wife’s waist.

Jaein nods. “Is that okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” He questions. “You have all of us here to support.” He says, gesturing towards everyone.

“Thank you, Mum, Dad…” She turns to her left, looking at her brother and sister. “Sera, Jongin…”

“Anything for you, dear.” Younji assures.

That’s the thing about the Kim family, they are all supportive of what each one of them wants to do. It’s the same thing with Sera when she decided to drop Law a year before she’s to graduate to shift courses to become a paediatric doctor. It took both Younji and Jeho to great shock but they didn’t stop her from doing so because for them, there is no point of finishing a degree where you know your heart isn’t with. Doing so, the Kim family has witnessed how satisfied and happy Sera is with her career. Something they can’t imagine seeing if she pursued Law.

With Jongin, on the other hand, they let him build up his own company even lending a big sum of money just to show how they are supportive of his decision to. The risk is big, considering he was starting from scratch but they trusted in their son’s capability and skills, and they weren’t wrong. Because doing so, it led Jongin and his company to many places, recognising him to be one of the most successful, outstanding, eminent entrepreneur and, becoming one of the top wealthiest bachelors.

If they did for their oldest daughter and son, why wouldn’t they do it for their precious youngest daughter?

Few days later, Aeiyoung is sitting in Iveely’s meeting room waiting for both Sera and Jaein. This is going to be the first time she’ll be meeting Sera.

While waiting, she busily types on her laptop, replying to the emails she received that morning. She is into her last email when Nara knocks inside, letting her know that they both have arrived. Along with her team, they welcome the Kim sisters warmly, accommodating them from start to finish.

Jaein, as ever, enters and fills the room with a bright and cheery aura but is soon replaced as Sera comes in behind her. In contrary to the younger lady’s, she is glowing with an elegant, intimidating and very sophisticated aura. Kim Sera is a refined and gracious lady, everyone who can see her can see that — from her gaze, the way she smiles, stands, the way she dresses and just her posture overall. It’s safe to say that Kim Sera is almost like the female version of Kim Jongin.

Aeiyoung tries not to appear and feel as intimidated as she proceeds with the meeting. She presents them the latest version of their plan, together with the input Jongin gave the last time — starting from the overall setup, the program of how they’re going to execute the surprise and all that they have worked on so far since the project started.

“Wow, I like how you worked around the concept we wished to have.” Sera commends, impressed at the work presented in front of her.

“It’s not just me. It’s the whole team.” The event coordinator turns to give everyone in her team an appreciative smile.

“I can totally see why both of my siblings talk highly of you.”

“I told you she’s exceptional!” Jaein utters proudly.

Aeiyoung shakes her head albeit thankful. She feels pressured upon hearing such words from them. She is rather conscious that she might not be able to keep up with the standards they drawn inside their heads. After all, they’re just not any clients, they are Jongin’s sisters and the event is on his family, particularly on their mother. She really doesn’t want to mess things up and disappoint them especially Jongin.

The meeting finishes, and while inside the lift, Sera takes the opportunity to talk to Jaein.

“So, she’s Aeiyoung…”

“Yup!” The younger lady answers absentmindedly. “Hang on, you know about her?”

“No, I just heard a bit from the conversation Mum and Jongin were having during the dinner night.”

“And you didn’t ask about her to Jongin?”

“No. I wanted to meet her first before I do.”

“And…?”

Sera remains silence, maintaining a mysterious look as she looks at her sister. Jaein can swear the suspense is killing her, holding her breath. When can’t hold it any longer, she’s about to snap when her older sister beats her to it, stating, “I like her.”

A victorious smile creeps up the younger lady’s lips.

Seeing that reaction, Sera smiles to herself. Even before meeting Aeiyoung, she’s already curious about who this girl is? She only heard of her being an event coordinator from Jongin, but he didn’t mention that she’s the girl he is interested in.

No wonder both of her siblings are enthusiastic about her, hearing how they highly talk about her. So, she thought to herself that perhaps, there is something more than this girl. She thought of many things and one of them included that she could be Jaein’s close friend but she never thought she would be the girl her brother would be interested in. Basically because, Jongin never showed any particular regard of him being seriously interested in a girl; someone he would talk and take to and about to his family. She just has the impression that he isn’t at any point ready to take a woman solemnly.

When she’s finally put the pieces together that night, she initially thought that it is because of that reason that’s why they think highly of her. But when they finally met, she knew the reason why. Their opinion about her weren’t clouded; rather, it’s true. Very true.

Now, there is a yearn in her to talk about Aeiyoung with her brother – to see, specifically who is Ji Aeiyoung to her only brother, Kim Jongin.

It’s been exactly fifteen days since Aeiyoung last saw and heard of Kangjun. But, she’s living on with hopes that he is, too. Because maybe, after all, no news is good news. It’s that thought that keeps her going as she slowly goes back to her usual self.

Aeiyoung arrives home, receiving a letter given by Mina. It is from the man she’s been wanting to hear from: Seo Kangjun.

AUTHOR's NOTE:

Seriously, thank you guys for the support. It's really what keeps me going. Hahaha. I don't really have much to say but see you in the next chapter.