Chapter Nineteen

Aeiyoung gulps and takes a deep breath before she opens the door in Jongin’s study. She tries to display the best smile she can give as the snapshot in his drawer is vivid inside her head as Jongin looks up from his glowing screen. He swivels to the side, holding his arm out so she will seat on his lap while he does his work. When she places her bottom over his sturdy and firm thighs, she wraps her arms around his neck and snuggles on his shoulder. He turns and puts a protective hand on hips before turning back to his laptop.

She wants to talk about it. Badly. But after the warm gaze she saw as she walked towards him, she can’t bring herself to. It can be apprehension that’s stopping her. In fact, she is not sure herself because she can’t determine anything out of the photo. No dates, no names, not even the hospital or medical imaging centre it’s done from. There isn’t any information; just the baby’s little head, body and little dangling legs. Details of it are cropped and even if there is something written on it, it’s nowhere being conclusive.

As he is busy reading over his emails, her busy head is beginning to mayhem by the unsettled questions that shaped her confusion and disorientation. She wants to know who it is, whose it is, why is it in his drawer and just so many other questions turning to situations an over-thinker can embellish in her mind.

She snuggles deeper, now her nose on his neck, her lips lightly touching over his skin, resulting for the male to embrace her tighter to him. Her eyes are closed feeling the urge to confront him, but she just couldn’t. The aversion of what she felt that time when she talked (or at least attempted to) about his birth mother is greater than her mere curiosity. She didn’t like the emotions that creeped around her heart when she saw how he reacted negatively— distant, harsh and displeased.

“Are you okay?” Jongin asks worriedly. She’s been awfully quiet and it’s making him worry.

She lifts her head up, rather a little too heavy and presses her lips together in a small and tight smile. It looks almost forced but it isn’t too hard for him to be alarmed. She answers quietly, “‘I’m okay.”

He looks at her carefully. “Is this still about earlier?”

She moves her head side to side. “No. Really,” She reassures, “I’m fine.” She turns her eyes to his screen and tells him, “Just continue what you’re doing and,” Snuggling back to his neck, she continues, “let me snuggle into you. Hopefully, I don’t get too heavy.”

He smiles, chuckling for a bit and does what she said but kisses the top of her head first. Even with her like this on him, he prefers it over anything.

Aeiyoung opens her eyes as she watches her man focus on his work. With that, she comes up with a decision, she will confront him. Just not now, but maybe at another time, at another perfect timing and opportunity when she’s mustered up much of her courage and nerves to do so. She will remain silent and for now, she’ll make herself comfortable in him.

Not long after that, she falls to dreamland and wakes up in Jongin’s bed the next morning. She flutters her eyes open and sees an empty side. With her eyes squinted, she slowly gets up and sees her boyfriend on his phone, already dressed formally for work. As she does so, he turns, and ends the call. She opens to say something when he strides towards her with an unreadable gaze and kisses the top of her head, already saying goodbye with an “I got to go”. She doesn’t get her chance to say anything because as soon as she opens her eyes after blinking, he’s already out the door.

It’s the first.

It’s the first since she met him, she feels a hint of emptiness in her heart. He didn’t even give her any chance to say anything nor did he even greet her a good morning. But she tries not to dwell so much on it, keeping within the mindset that maybe, it’s one of those mornings that doesn’t start right or the days where leading a company is extra stressful and dreading— the not so good days, to be informally described.

It takes her a little over half an hour to get all ready. Then, coming out of Jongin’s bedroom, she is greeted by Mikyeong who informs her that breakfast is ready. She isn’t in the mood for breakfast, but the housekeeper mentions how Jongin was strict when he gave the instruction that she is to have her breakfast before leaving. So, despite not having the appetite, she heads to the dining area and eats her breakfast like how Jongin wanted. She isn’t with herself to even ask if he had his own first meal for the day. She is just silent.

After that, Aeiyoung drives to work. When she arrives, she barely can keep her focus at her craft. Her unusual behavior doesn’t go missed by her team. So, for the day, instead of relying to their team leader, they decide to work and proceed with the progress of their project themselves. Of course, at times, they still need the lady’s approval and input but they try to minimise it as much as possible, taking it also as an opportunity to make the most of what they learnt under her guidance for the entire time they’ve been part of her team.

And for the whole day, she notices how he hasn’t even called her once; not even a message. She sighs. She wants to call him but decides not to. She doesn’t want him to worry or even mind about her when she knows he’s already busy and more likely, stressed enough.

Two days pass and nothing has changed. Jongin is currently driving her back to her place if she had not ask to see him. But the Jongin she’s with now, the one on her side, is far from his usual warm self. He’s somewhat cold, stressed and if she may, indifferent. It’s strange enough to make her feel anxious and uneasy.

“Jongin, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He says trying to sound as soft as he can but to her, it came out...harsh.

She knows all too well that, that isn’t the case. “I know something is wrong.”

“Aeiyoung, it’s nothing for you to worry about.” He snaps.

And that is enough to purse her lips.

Day follows another day, and another day and another day until she’s lost track. Despite not being in a relationship for ten years, she’s always heard that relationships go through a rough patch. Aeiyoung is damn sure their relationship isn’t any different. This could be the first of their few or their many.

She gets it. Being a CEO of a such big company with so many employees (and their families) at stake, she gets that it can really be stressful, arduous and laborious. Most of the time it can be sacrificial too. She understood all this time and she still does but she never complained or said anything about. She doesn’t want to be immature. (Not to mention the intriguing photo she wants to know and still be clear about). Something is different with him and she feels so frustrated because she can’t do anything— simply for the reason she doesn’t know anything.

For every attempt she makes to ask him what is wrong with hopes she’ll get a grip of what really is going on, he goes with the reply of that it’s all okay and she got nothing to worry about. (If not, he’ll ignore and divert from it.) But she’s smart enough to know that not all is okay but what can she do when Jongin acts as good as a closed book. She wants to know but she doesn’t want to pester him. She is now even unsure where she should place herself around him. She feels like she’s in the dark, so lost, confused and disoriented. It’s come to the extent it’s tormenting her yet she decides to fight it. She wants to be strong, not just for him but for their relationship. Sometimes, it’s just so hard. She just wants to know— at least something. She wants to understand him. She wants to do something but how can she when she ain’t got any clue of anything?

Or if she isn’t to know, can she just, at least, have her Jongin back? Because she misses him; so much it hurts her.

.

Aeiyoung wants to curse. She groans after opening her eyes as she clenched it shut at the impact. Watching the smoke emit from the hood of her car, the airbag is released, she unbuckles her seatbelt and gets off her car. This seriously can’t be happening to her. Of all days and circumstances, why now?

She’s on her way back from Iveely to go home and she’s only less than ten minutes away from her house, does this really have to happen to her? At first she’s shocked but realising she’s not at any fault for the accident, she feels annoyed. Does she really need to be part of this three car collision when she’s stopped at the stop light in a four way intersection? Did she really need to get involved?

She feels filled up. She wants to rage. She has so many things in her mind already, why must this incident come to her? Sure, she isn’t injured at all besides from the pain she’s slightly feeling on her neck, probably due to the shock when the other crashed on her. But that aside, she’s fine— thankfully. Though, her car; her car that she’s still got seven more months to pay in her loan. Now, she really wants to believe that when it rains, it does pour. It’s not like everything has been pleasant to her lately and this happening to her know, how can she not get pissed and angry?

Raging? She’s done a fair well job at holding back.

She has her hand on her waist, looking at the real damage the collision has done to her car while the other two drivers are arguing who is at fault. Sheer luck that no one is severely injured. She goes back to her car towards the passenger side to fish her phone out of her bag to make a phone call.

In time when she hears the sound of the siren approaching, assuming it must be the police and the ambulance. She sighs. And before she’s able to put the device back into her bag, she feels it vibrate in her hands. It’s Jongin calling.

She takes a deep sigh and then, she answers the call.

“Hey.” She greets, failing to hide the vexation in her voice. Feeling all the accumulated tiredness she’s been keeping flow through her system.

He opens his mouth to say something but halts when he hears something very alarming. He sits up and asks worriedly, “Are you okay?”

“Nothing happened to me. I’m okay.” She says. She doesn’t want him to fall completely to unnecessary panic. “But my car isn’t it.”

He frowns. “What happened?”

“I got into a car accident. Someone crashed to my car.” She explains briefly.

He jolts up from his seat and walks his way around his table, exiting his office. He tells her, “Tell me where you are, I’ll be there.”

Aeiyoung doesn’t argue as she really didn’t have the energy to. He doesn’t need to come since she’s fine anyway, and with the police being here, she’s sure that everything will be settled in place. But anyway, since Jongin asked for it and she feels he wants to come to her, she tells her location. Without much talking after, the call ends.

In all honesty, she is herself is surprised that Jongin actually called her when lately he barely did and whenever they’ll see each other, it’s not like it was any good anyway. He’s always tired, displeased, withdrawn and reticent. She knows he still loves her. She just feels like he doesn’t even want to be with her anymore despite him acting towards her the same way… it’s just less warm and loving. It’s as though there’s this unknown wall between them.

She tries to ignore it by acting the same as if none of these thoughts and feelings are existing. For her, with him not saying anything to her, it’s the best she can do instead of pressuring him to say something or at least, anything. She believes he’ll tell her, when he’s ready. It’s just that it’s taking so long it’s making her feel perturbed, she doesn’t know how to act around him anymore.

By the time Jongin arrives to the scene, Aeiyoung is talking to a policeman, who seems to be interviewing her for what happened. He strides towards her direction, approaching the lady and noticing her damaged car. When he gets close to her, he kisses her cheek and she gives him a tight smile. The police is jotting down notes while Jongin looks at his girlfriend from head to toe, confirming that she’s really okay and in one piece.

“Told you, I’m okay.” She utters in a quiet voice.

“Thank you for that, Ms Ji.” The police bids, making the lady tear her gaze away from her boyfriend to him. He offers a hand to shake hers.

Jongin stands aside while she responds to the civilised gesture. “Thank you, too. Hopefully, it’ll help with anything.”

In a respectful manner, the man in the uniform gives a polite nod to the man that just arrived and walks off.

He faces his girl, wanting to ask what happened but surely, she’s already told the police and there’s no need for her to repeat herself. By the looks of it, she’s just innocently involved in the crash. He’s not keen to know the details that he can easily check with the authorities. What matters the most is that she’s okay and nothing happened to her.

“You didn’t have to come.” She reproves in a soft manner.

“I wanted to make sure you’re okay.” He reasons.

Aeiyoung is looking at his eyes and it’s evident how relief he is that she’s indeed okay. She feels her heart warm. Forgetting the rage, she’s genuinely thankful that she’s okay and nothing bad happened to her. She can’t have him go through suffering if ever something really horrendous happened to her. She doesn’t like the image of him in agony because of her.

In contrast to what she felt earlier, she feels fortunate it’s just the car— something that can repaired and replaced. And there isn’t any of this scenario of him, her family, her best-friend worrying over her.

Jongin closes his eyes, pulling her into his embrace. She feels electricity rush through her spine when she hears him say softly and tenderly, “I’m glad you’re okay.” He pauses. “I can’t lose you, Aeiyoung. I can’t have anything happen to you.” He says pained, like the mere thought already clenches his heart.

She rubs her hand on his back comfortingly, wanting to dissipate the anxiety. “It was an accident.”

He takes a deep breath and leans back, cupping her face. He takes a look of her countenance; all her features, confirming, “And you’re okay.”

She smiles, nodding. “I’m okay.”

Looking into his eyes, she wonders to herself, is her Jongin back? Are things okay now? Well, she can only hope.

When they are clear to leave the scene, Jongin takes her to her place. They are sitting inside the car, side by side with their hands holding each other’s warmly as his driver cruises them to the destination. She misses it. She misses this. It feels like everything's okay now and she really wants it to be.

They arrive to her apartment, and just before she gets off, having an uneasy heart that’s about to burst into pieces, she prompts to ask, “Jongin, can we talk?”

He doesn’t answer straight away, causing her to squeeze his hand tighter, close to beg. She just wants to talk— to know that they’re okay. He takes a deep breath as though he’s made his mind and glances towards his driver, catching his attention. Understanding the look, Gyo obeys and climbs out, giving his boss and his boss’ girlfriend their privacy. When he’s out of the picture, Jongin shifts his gaze back to his girlfriend. He presses his lips into a thin line. “What is it?”

The words are stuck behind and with much difficulty, she asks agonisingly with her voice slightly shaky, somewhat pained, “Are we okay? Are… are your feelings for me fading away?” She wanted to ask if he’s hiding anything from her but she’s just more concerned if what she’s feeling from him is changing based on how he’s behaving lately.

Jongin shifts himself with a crease on his brows. The pain and hurt are obvious in his gaze— how can she have these absurd thoughts inside her head? She must know that he loves her more than anything in this world and he’s never loved like this before in his life. “Why are you having thoughts like this?” He returns the question.

Aeiyoung looks away and bobs her shoulders in dejected manner. She lets out a heavy exhale. “I don’t know. You just seem so unhappy whenever you’re with me. Like you don’t want to be with me anymore.”

He shakes his head and closes his eyes, he can’t believe she’s feeling this way. He recaps his past behaviours towards her and thinks of how stupid he has been all this while.

She, on the other hand, is currently suppressing her tears with dreadful thoughts running through her head. But it’s too late for that as her waterline are already wet.

“Don’t think like that, please.” He says, almost begging. “I love you so much, you don’t even know.”

“Do you? Really?” Seeing her eyes glow with doubt, he feels his heart tie up in a big and tight knot, so tight it’s close to breaking.

He moves forward and embraces his girl tightly. It’s too tight that she nearly couldn’t breathe but it’s okay. She likes it. The tightness of it only assures her that she still has him; that he’s still there with her. Her head is over his chest, with his hand keeping it there. He intentionally does so, so she can hear his heart beating for her— just for her. “I do. I do love you. You can doubt everything else but please, not my love for you.”

She her lips to taste the saltiness of her tears. She’s already tearing up, failing to keep it to herself. She wipes the streams over her cheeks, so her boyfriend don’t have to see them. She sniffs and looks up. He caresses her cheeks with his thumbs, “I’m sorry for doing things that made you feel like that.”

She shakes her head, “It’s okay.” She just felt like that because she loves him so much, she doesn’t know what to do if ever he doesn’t want her in his life anymore. “I know it’s stupid for me to feel this way.”

“Aeiyoung, no.” He says, both firmly and affectionately. “You won’t feel like that if I didn’t behave the way I did.”

She doesn’t say anything, indulging herself at the moment. Receiving love from his gaze to hers, his knuckles gently rubbing the side of her face, she confesses genuinely, swallowing the block hiding behind , “I love you, Jongin.”

Jongin cups her face securely. His eyes travel from her orbs, to her nose, and then down to her lips. In one swift but careful motion, he closes his eyes, responding to her words of affection by capturing her lips, kissing her softly, slowly, romantically and tenderly as it progressed— gentle but passionate. She responds in the same manner, giving him the kind he never experienced. It is so sweet, pure and meaningful, they melt into each others kisses, letting it reveal all the love they have for each other coming from the bottom of their hearts.

Unwillingly, she pulls away from loving kiss slowly and they both smile with their lips just lightly brushing over each other’s. In months of their relationship, he’s kissed her from her the palm and top of her hands, her shoulder and the back of it, her neck and the base of it, the corner of her lips, her forehead, her cheeks and the tip of her nose but this is the first time they shared a kiss together and in such a beautiful, unforgetting way.

She leans in, removing her arms around her to put it around his neck, embracing him with all her strength. As though the kiss isn’t enough, Jongin mumbles against her shoulder clearly for her to hear, “I love you so much, Aeiyoung.”

The lady smiles and leaves a kiss on the side of his head, on his hair just behind his ear. When she leans back, she puts her thumb on his bottom lip and he kisses it affectionately. There is nothing more perfect than the moment they’re having now. Nothing can ruin it now, not even her gloom-ridden thoughts.

They share a comfortable silence when she breaks it to ask, “Are things okay now?”

He hums quietly, “They’re better. I’m trying my best.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

He gives a small smile of gratitude and appreciation, “I think I can manage.”

She nods her head, understanding his words. She trusts his love, the one she felt and heard. They fall into silence again but nothing strained. It’s serene and tranquil.

They are holding both of each other’s hands tightly, facing each other, no one wanting to let go, when she breaks, “By the way, I’m going away for a few days.” She mentions. “I thought I should let you know beforehand.”

He tilts his head, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going over to see my parents.”

He looks away, as though he’s thinking over something. “When is it?”

“The coming weekend.” She answers, “I leave this Friday and I should be back the Sunday night.” Just in case, she asks, “Do you want to come and see them too?” But she’s not hopeful, she knows and understands he’s busy enough.

Hence, she is surprised when he says, “I’ll come.”

Her eyes widen, “But, I don’t want it to get in between your busy schedule.”

He the bottom of his lips, “It’s not. You’re not.” He looks at her carefully, “I can’t promise anything but I’ll get Reya to work and arrange around that.” He tucks some of her hair behind her ear. “Is that okay?”

She bobs her head. “It’s more than okay.”

He smiles to see that her eyes are starting to glow but not with doubt or apprehension but rather with serenity, love and elation. They are less dull than earlier and it’s a huge relief to him to see her like that. He hates to see her eyes blue.

“So, what happened to the car?” Mina asks during breakfast the morning after.

“It got towed.” She says, putting down the cup of hot chocolate down the table. “It’ll be repaired but who knows how long it’ll take.” She sighs.

She raises her eyebrow in worry. “Then, what car are you going to use then?”

She bobs her shoulders. “I would need to take the taxi for the time being, I suppose.” Her best-friend opens for a proposal but Aeiyoung stops her before she can even utter a word, “No. What you’re thinking is a hassle, riding the taxi would be more convenient for me.”

Mina puckers her lips and she tries to reason, “I’m sure it can be arranged.”

“No.” She shakes her head. “I really just use the car to get to and from work. Otherwise, we use the company’s to get from places to places.”

“Fine.” She grunts, failing to change her best-friend’s mind. When she finishes with her bowl of granola, she gets up and lets Aeiyoung know, “I’ll take a shower. Are you going to leave soon?”

She glances at the clock before telling her, “I’ll leave at eight o’ clock.”

She nods, “Okay, then. Wait for me, let’s leave together.”

Aeiyoung gives her nod as the other walks back inside her bedroom to shower. She cleans the table, stacking the bowls, plates and cups they used together and brings it to the kitchen sink to wash. When she’s done, she proceeds to freshen herself up in her bathroom and prepares herself quickly. Compared to Mina, she is a lot quicker in prepping up and so, despite getting ready later than her, they finish at the same time.

“Ready?” She asks, grabbing her files from the kitchen counter.

“Don’t take the taxi just for today. I’ll take you to work.” Mina says, not accepting any objections from the other lady.

“Okay, if you must.” She rolls her eyes subtly. Her best-friend just doesn’t know when to give up.

By the front gate is a large black shiny SUV parked with a middle-aged man standing by it; familiar to both of them. Mina calls the other lady’s attention in awe. With widened eyes, she asks, “Is that…?”

There is a crease between Aeiyoung’s brows as she sees Gyo standing there. She wonders if Jongin is here, but the same time she doesn’t remember her boyfriend telling her anything that he’ll be here. She takes a hold of her phone, just in case she missed it or anything but sees no message or any calls from him.

Mina pats the lady’s shoulder, “As long as you won’t take the taxi.”

The crease on her forehead deepens as she hears that.

“I think Mr Kim has something arranged for you ahead of time.” She whispers before stepping down to the garage to her car.

The confused lady on the other hand makes her way down to front gate to greet the idle man. “Mr Gyo…”

“Good Morning, Ms Ji.” He greets in a professional manner with his usual deep voice.

“What are you doing here?” She questions in utmost perplexity.

Before the older man can answer, a phone rings, causing him to fish out from the inside pocket of his formal suit. Aeiyoung nods, standing quietly and letting him take the phone call. She hears him greet the caller and by the name, she knows it is Jongin.

With a ‘yes sir’, he turns and holds the device to the lady. “Mr Kim wants to speak to you.”

Without any word, she takes it and hovers it over her hear. “Jongin.”

“Good Morning.” He says as his first greeting, in a sweet manner.

“Good morning to you too…” She eyes at Gyo, who walks around to the other side of the car, giving them privacy. “What’s this?”

“Your car is under repair, and for that time being, Gyo will fetch you to and from Iveely.”

“What? Jongin, there’s no need for that. What about you?” She questions like it will change the male’s mind.

“Gyo isn’t my only driver.” He explains and Aeiyoung is so close rolling her eyes to that— of course he isn’t. “I know you, Aeiyoung. And like I told you, I don’t like you taking the taxi.”

“But, this isn’t necessary.” She reasons.

The sternness in his voice can be heard when he asserts with apparent affection, “Your safety for me is necessary, Aeiyoung.” Hearing her not saying anything, he sighs, “We left off last night really well. We’re not going to fight over this, are we?”

“We’re not fighting, Jongin.” She corrects quietly. “It’s just... the hassle and burden… I don’t want you or people to think I’m depending or relying on you.”

“It’s not that way, Aeyioung.” He claims. “This is me doing what I can for the girl I love, can’t I do that?”

“You can…” She says, almost whispering. “But…” She doesn’t continue and gives in, “Okay, but only until my car gets repaired.” She clarifies.

“Yes, until your car gets repaired.” He complies.

“Okay.”

He then smiles, “And with that, maybe perhaps you can visit me here in J.KEH?”

Her brow twitches, “Why? We just saw each other last night. ”

“I just miss you but I’m needed here.” He drawls.

She smiles to herself, “I know what you’re saying. Okay.”

She can hear his voice brighten, “Okay, as in…”

“Yes, okay as in, as soon as my working hours finishes, I’ll go there to be with you.”

He can barely hold himself back to hide his excitement, “Okay, Gyo will be waiting then to take you here. See you, baby.”

She hums but with a wide smile curving her lips, “See you, Jongin.”

“I’ll see you.”

The phone call ends and Aeiyoung walks to return it to the man, who’s making his way back. He takes the phone and she bobs her head appreciatively. “Shall we go?”

He bows, and walks promptly to open the door for her. Saying her thanks, she climbs up and soon, making their way to Iveely.

Not even two minutes into the road, she hears her phone ring, notifying her for a message. She can barely hold her smile, and cool the blush on her cheeks when she reads the words of: I love you from Kim Jongin. She bites her upper lips with her eyes twinkling as she returns the same words of affection.

Work goes on as usual for her. Nothing new but still encountering minor changes and problems in between. That being said, she isn’t Ji Aeiyoung for no reason. She makes sure that everything is covered and she missed nothing. She really can’t bare to miss and overlook details, most especially with major events.

It’s lunch time and she’s about to go out to have lunch with her team when she is stopped by her friend whom she’s been wanting to come in good terms with since the months they’ve been avoiding each other, pretending they are strangers to each other. She tells her everyone to go ahead and put everything in her tab while she’s going to talk to someone— someone is important to her.

When she sees him looking at her with a less dark and vulnerable gaze, she dares to call him, “Kangjun.”

And to her relief, he walks towards her with a smile she hasn’t seen in so long. It isn’t anything big and bright as she used to see of him but regardless, she’s glad because at least now, he can smile.

“Would anyone mind if you would have friendly lunch date with me?” He asks.

The sound of his voice wraps her heart in ease and hope. It won’t be wrong for her to be hopeful of the possibility they can rekindle their friendship in one way or another, would it?

She shakes her head slowly. “No…”

“Can I take you?”

She nods her head.

“Where would you like?”

She bobs her shoulders, “Anywhere you’d prefer. Somewhere we can talk comfortably.”

“Let’s go.” He points towards the direction the lift with his thumb, holding his car keys.

Close to the company she’s working in, he takes her to an Italian restaurant. They order pastas for themselves: one being seafood risotto and the other, primavera ravioli with their preferred drinks. They share awkward smiles at each other but for a change, it isn’t just awkwardness or woe surrounding them. Everything feels lighter, and simply better without bitterness.

“How have you been?” She tries to prompt a conversation.

“I’ve been well. Coping well and better than that last time I wrote the letter for you.”

“That’s good. That’s really good.” She says sincerely. “Have you gone back to visit Japan and see your Mum?”

He hums quietly, “I did. I needed to mend things with Mum and find myself. Only stayed there for three days and came back.”

“I see.”

He catches her gaze, asking, “What about you? How have you been?”

She holds an abashed smile.“Okay… Slightly braver than before. A mild risk taker, I guess.”

He nods. He expected that answer. “I heard about you and this guy Mr Kim…”

She freezes, “How’d you know about…?”

He chuckles, “I figured when I was at his five star hotel and being treated as a VIP at that and you being there, I fitted things together. Slow for me to realise, really. But I’ve also kept in touch with Mina and she mentioned that you are actually seeing someone when I asked about you, not being able to hold back.”

“Kangjun—”

“Hey, it’s okay.” She purses her lips. “I just wanted to see you happy and being willing to receive love from someone, even if that meant it isn’t me. And maybe, we were really not meant to be together. Because, look at it, with him…” He tells. “You’ve only known him for not so long but he was able to enter your heart.”

Aeiyoung remains silent. She doesn’t know what to say.

Carefully, he asks, “Are you guys together?”

She presses her lips together and answers in a quiet voice, “Yeah.”

Kangjun is looking at her eyes and he can see right before his that she is loved and more importantly, she’s happy. He sees happiness in her in an extent that no one was able to do for the years he’s known her. Despite being left broken in pieces, if this is what it meant for that, then he’s willing to break again for her. But there is no need for that now. He’s okay now— seeing her, getting to talk to her like this, it’s safe to say he’s genuinely okay now.

“I’m happy for you.” He says sincerely.

“Thank you.” She smiles appreciatively. She can feel it: Kangjun and her, they’re okay now. She doesn’t have to pretend to be a stranger to him anymore. “What is on on you now?”

“Career continues on for me and who knows about the surprises of tomorrow?” Now that he’s at it, he opens up, “And I’m going to take some photography classes. I think it’s about time to do something with my passion.”

She chuckles and offers her specialty, “Well, if you’re going to hold an exhibit, call me for that.”

He smirks, “I’d like that.”

As she swirls the pasta to her fork she asks, “What company do you work?”

“Jiu Electronics.”

“Oh...” She nods, recalling the company from the news article she read online. “I’m hoping it’s good there?”

“It’s good now.” He affirms. “The company is coming back to be listed after the disarray with the owner’s family.”

“Disarray?” She asks, after swallowing.

He hums, “Apparently, it got something to do with what happened to the owner’s other child. It was a big thing but none of the employees dared to speak about it anymore. I think above that, they are more glad that they won’t lose their jobs. If it continued on, it won’t be long until the company completely goes out of business.”

She smirks, “I’m guessing, you have a part to play with their rebound?”

He shrugs his shoulder, not wanting to boast or be assuming, “Perhaps?”

Even with his response, the lady is sure. Kangjun is a bright man. If she wasn’t the student who consistently got the highest GPA back then, it’d be him.

“Besides, I only do what my job requires me.”

Aeiyoung thinks that sometimes, this man is too much of a modest when it comes to his capabilities. “If you say so, Mr Seo.”

They continue on with their lunch (with the male diverting the topic) sharing a pleasant and friendly time like good and casual friends they are. Just before her lunch time ends, they finish with the male taking the will to pay for it. She doesn’t object by letting him do what he wants.

“I’ll see more of you, then?” She asks as they exit the restaurant.

“Definitely.” He faces her with his hands inside his pocket, “Let me just tell you how I’m really glad about how things turned out for us.”

“Me too. I’m relieved, actually.”

“Now, let’s drive you back to Iveely.” He checks his wristwatch. “I need to get back to work too, actually.”

“Let’s go.” She says, pointing towards his car.

“Hey, son!” Younji greets, bright as ever whenever Jongin takes the initiative to call her. She takes note of the time, “Strange of you calling me at this time, what’s up?”

Indeed, it’s unusual of him to give his parents a call on the middle of the week at middle of the day. But, he just can’t stop himself, as the image of Aeiyoung hurting last night because of him continues to replay inside his head. It hasn’t left him since. “I think, I hurt Aeiyoung.” He confesses.

The gleam in her eyes disappears as she frowns, “What do you mean?” A thought strikes her, “Did you tell her? Is this about that?”

He shakes his head, “No, Mum. I didn’t. I can’t bring myself to.”

“Then, son, what is it about?” She asks worriedly.

He sighs, “Or it could be about that.” He knows he’s got to explain more for his mother to understand. “Last night, she was having doubts about my feelings for her. She questioned if what I feel for her is changing or fading. It must’ve been my behaviour, I don’t know. But Mum, it’s not like that at all. You know I never loved anyone like this.”

“Maybe, my dear, because a part of you is still trapped around that. You’re a clever boy, you know yourself that you are not revealing all of you yet. Part of love, of true love, Jongin, is you letting her see everything of you. Please free yourself from that. The longer and the more you try to keep it from her, you’re eventually going to push her away. Even if you say you love her, I’m telling you, you’ll push her away because you’re not being honest to her. You’re hiding things from her.”

“Mum…”

“And I’m warning you, I don’t want you losing her. She’s the woman you should keep, my dear.” Feeling his son’s conundrum, she furthers, “Jongin, listen to me, sometimes in a relationship, having just love isn’t enough. There needs to be honesty, too. That is what you’re not giving to Aeiyoung. Keeping this up, will only hurt her.”

“But what if she leaves me after I tell her all that?”

“Well, tell me, Jongin. Who are you doubting now? Yourself or Aeiyoung?”

The male closes her eyes, “I don’t want to lose her, Mum. I can’t.”

“Keep her in the dark, if that makes you happy, even if it results you hurting her. But don’t blame anyone if she does leave because of what you’re doing. My son, no secrets are kept forever. You do know that.”

“I know, Mum. I know.” He whispers.

“I’m sure Sehun has told you about this.” She assumes, knowing the taller boy like her own son. “The sooner you tell her, the sooner you’ll free yourself from it and the shorter you keep your girl in the dark.”

The son doesn’t say anything.

“What are your plans? It’ll be one year weeks from now.”

“I’m thinking of what’s the best thing to do, Mum.”

Giving her final advice, she says, “Try to do what’s right, Jongin. Most of the time, the best thing to do is to do what is right.”

At around five o'clock, Aeiyoung finishes with her work and dismisses her team, bidding she’ll see them again tomorrow. She walks back to her office and cleans up her desk before heading down to the ground floor to see Gyo already waiting at the front.

She’s at the car as the driver is cruising their way to J.KEH. Now that she is off work, she realises how tired she is after all the hours she got her brain working, and doing negotiations to people. But above being tired, she is more keen to see her boyfriend again even though it’s only been last night since she saw him and now, curiosity is crawling inside her head. She’s seen him so many times but she never really heard anything from him (of course apart from, Ms Ji, Mr Kim, his day or evening greeting and other small professional talks) neither she ever got to talk to him.

“Gyo…” She calls softly, wondering if he is fine with her talking to him while he’s driving.

The older man looks at her in the rearview mirror. “Yes, Ms Ji.”

“Uh,” She repositions herself in her seat. “How long have you been working for Jongin?”

“Five years now, Ms Ji. Nearly six in a few months.” He answers. She nods and she wants to ask more but she isn’t sure if it’s him with him. Seeing her hesitance, he gives a warm smile and says, “It’s okay, Ms Ji. You can ask me as long as I can answer it.”

She returns the smile and continues to ask. “Do you have a family?”

“Ah, yes, I am married with two beautiful daughters.”

And the conversation smoothly flows after that. The more she talks to him and how he engages with Aeiyoung realises that despite the stoic face Jongin’s driver always wears, it is apparent that he has a warm heart. His oldest daughter is sixteen years old while his youngest is only nine years old who apparently has this blood disorder called Thalassemia that she requires regular blood transfusion. Aeiyoung briefly wonders if Jongin knows that about his good driver’s situation.

And before she realises, they are already at J.KEH. Gyo gets off the driver seat to open the door for her and letting her inside the building herself. She approaches the reception area whom the receptionist instantly recognises her upon looking up. She welcomes her with a smile. Before Aeiyoung is able to say anything, she is already given the exclusive security pass.

“I’ve been told by Ms Reya that Mr Kim is waiting for you.” She informs.

“Oh… okay.” She smiles, slightly feeling awkward.

Within few minutes, she arrives at the CEO floor and his exclusive assistant welcomes her. She opens the office and sees Jongin reading over his documents with his round specs. Reya didn’t have to knock because it is Aeiyoung. No disturbances are allowed unless it is her, this is the clear instructions given by him.

Jongin instantly looks up, knowing that his girlfriend arrived. Reya promptly takes her leave. With a smile but tired eyes, he stands up and walks around the table, welcoming her with open arms. He claims her to his embrace and hugs her very tight, smelling her hair with her scent that have always comforted him.

She glances at his desk, “Working too hard, Mr Kim?” He gives a look that answers her question. “Alright, I’ll leave you to it. I suppose you haven’t had dinner yet?”

“Have you?”

She shakes her head.

“What do you feel like having?”

She bobs her shoulders, not really knowing what she wants herself so she says, “Anything to feel up my stomach, really. I’ll just go with whatever you feel like eating.”

“Alright, well, if you crave for something, let me know and I’ll get Reya.” He reminds.

“Okay.” She says, although she feels that is really less likely. “Go back, I’ll stay there at the lounge and do some work as well.”

“Still?” He can see how tired she is through her eyes.

With a helpless shrug, she says “Can’t help it…”

He sighs and lets her go, reminding her not to overwork, in which she returns back at him. Sitting behind his desk, he presses a number and orders Reya to get them some Japanese food for dinner, specifically ordering his girlfriend’s favourite. Ending the call, Aeiyoung is looking at her iPad as she looks over the folder she brought. He smiles at himself, admiring the moment in seeing her in her working mode again. It attracts him more to her, more than he already is.

He proceeds where he left off when Aeiyoung came, thoroughly studying the documents at hand. He keeps himself busy and with her around, he works so much better. Seeing her gives him the assurance that at the moment of time, they are still okay.

Losing the track of time, he finishes another document, giving his sign. When he looks up, she sees him still focused into her work. He briefly wonders what she’s is working so hard on.

The trance breaks when Reya comes in with the food he ordered for both of them. He nods his head and she gets it as a gesture to prepare it on the table. Aeiyoung doesn’t look up until the lady is in front of her and with courtesy, she gathers her stuff and puts it aside. She helps her arranging it on the table. Jongin, on the other hand, is on his heel towards them. He gives his thanks to his secretary when it’s finished and wishes her a good night. It’s already past her working hours and she took the overtime to fulfil his little order.

Two large ramen bowls, a lot of sashimi and sushi are on the table, enough to really feed three people. But she realises that Jongin never gets enough, it’s always more. Besides, none of it are going to waste as both of them aren’t fond of wasting food.

Upon the start of eating their dinner, she opens up, “Do you know about Gyo’s family?”

He gives her a wondering look before he answers to her question, “Yes, I do.”

“And he has two daughters?”

He nods his head. “Background checks are done on all my employees and since Gyo will be working closely with me, a deeper and more thorough check was done on him.”

Understanding his words and now that she has opened the topic, she expresses, “Jongin, would it be possible to help her youngest daughter? She’s suffering from Thalassemia and I want to help.”

He falls into silence, astonished at what he heard and also seeing the sight of the eagerness that is glowing from her eyes. “Aeiyoung, I’m already doing that.”

“What?”

“I am helping them financially as soon as I found out. With the work Gyo is providing me with, he deserves it. I also have given the two girls an academic scholarship, it’s the only way I can help him.”

“But still, I want to help.” She insists.

He smiles fondly, “Of course, you can. Gyo will be grateful.”

She beams and walks around to give her boyfriend a warm hug. He puts his hand around her waist and pulls her so she is sitting on his lap. Compared to their position earlier, he likes this one better, no actually, best.

Aeiyoung kisses her cheek and he gives her a playful, suspicious look. “Why?” He questions.

There is a grin on her face and shakes her head slightly, her hand is over his head and plays with it as she responds, “I’m just… I guess, happy and in awe at the fact that my boyfriend has a good and kind heart.”

“I have the money to help, I didn’t see why not.”

“Speaking of good and kind hearts,” She pauses pondering whether it’s the perfect time to tell him about meeting Kangjun. “I met Kangjun today for lunch.”

He turns to her and coolly responds, “And how is he?”

She raises a brow, “You’re not angry or anything?”

He shakes his head with a soft smile, “Aeiyoung, I trust you. You’ve been so worried of him and I think it’s only fair you guys had a talk you both needed.” She curves her lips, appreciating his understanding personality. He goes back to his question, “How is he? Is he doing well?” In fact, he’s grateful for her honesty and he wants to be the same with her.

“Better than I thought.” She admits. “He’s fine. He looks well, healthy and living.” With a relieved heart, she reveals, “He doesn’t seem so broken anymore and I don’t have to be a stranger around him.”

He smiles, “Then, that’s good.”

“I was just worried that he’ll forever be mad at me.”

“But he isn’t.” He coaxes. “You guys are okay now, right?”

She nods her head. Jongin realises that for someone who truly and genuinely loves another person, their happiness matter more than them— like with him and Aeiyoung, the simple thought of her being happy, of her smiling, of her laughing and feeling the love she deserves is enough for him. Now that she gave him her whole heart, he vows to take care of it the best way he can.

He finds himself back to his mother’s words earlier during their phone call. He realises, that his mother and his best-friend is right. He needs to tell her. She doesn’t need to know from someone else but him. But, it is easier thought than done.

He’s known to be strong but with her, his vulnerability just completely bares. For now, he really just needs that perfect timing and opportunity to tell her what’s been trapping him. He can only pray that when she finds out, nothing will change between them, if not, at least their relationship will be stronger.

“I better go back and continue eating.” She shifts to stand up when Jongin holds her in place. “Uh… Jongin?”

“We’re in this position already. I’m not letting you go back.”

“But, how am I supposed to eat?”

“How else? Of course, I’m going to feed you.”

She hits him lightly as she feels her cheeks pink. He chuckles and gives her jaw a soft kiss.

It’ll stay the way they are now, right? Even after she finds out his dark side? He worries because as time is ticking, the threat of yesterday’s truth continues to haunt him.

AUTHOR's NOTE:

Here we go. Don't worry, I'm going to reveal Jongin's secret (all of it) in a couple of updates. So, be patient, haha! It's not going to be long because I don't want it to be draggy. At least not to me.

I'm also sorry if this chapter is so long but I promise, everything that happened here is for a reason. There is a reason and I just didn't put it there to fill it up. You'll see in the future chapters.

I was suppose to rest and not write anything but Jongin is taking a toll on me and he's giving me all these unnecessary feels, it's too much for my heart. I just had to write (Been writing oneshots here and there, haha. But then again, lol, when was my heart ever calm when it comes to him? XD See you all in the next chapter, and the one after that, and after that until it's finished.