A/N: Hey, it's been a while since I said I'd update soon, my bad, but it's actually really hard to write a chapter on just one pairing, harder than I expected, but here we are. I hope you like it, and yes, I know there's not an extra part, but it be like that sometimes. I hope you enjoy even so.

---

 

The months after December had been tense for Doyoung, though one might not have noticed it, might not have expected it. 

He kept quiet, and to himself as well, never speaking about whatever was going on inside of him, when he was confronted with the new year’s Jaehyun and Taeyong. 

Perhaps, in the midst of his mission, he had found himself enjoying his rivalry with Taeyong, perhaps amidst it all, he saw him as a friend. 

 

His brother couldn’t know he was affected by Jaehyun and Taeyong because then he’d know he was involved, and then he’d hate him, and Doyoung would crumble down underneath all of the guilt. 

Therefore he shoved whatever guilt or sympathy he might have felt for any of them, into the deepest hole in his soul, and went on with his life, pretending he didn’t feel anything. 

 

Jeno, on the other hand, let his emotions show, and today he was anxious. Even though Jaemin had told him not to care about Jaehyun and Taeyong, he couldn’t help it. Doyoung had gone rogue, avenging Jeno which he didn’t even need. How could he not care? 

It was nearly the end of school, and Jeno knew Jaehyun had his music club afterward, so if he could catch him before then, maybe he could talk to him about Taeyong, and hopefully fix it. Next week, the seniors' exams started, so if he wanted a chance to help, it was now. 

 

He knew Jaemin would be disappointed in him, but he couldn’t help it, so as soon as the bell rang, he packed up his things and hurried out of the classroom. He ignored Jaemin calling after him and hurried down to the music club, heart beating louder the closer he got to the music room. 

“Jaehyun-hyung” he called out when he spotted the elder walking towards the music room. His heartbeat sped up as he neared the older who came to a stop.

“Jaehyun-hyung” he called out again, stopping behind the elder, who stood with his back to him. Jeno didn’t know how Jaehyun would react. Would he even listen to him? Did he think Jeno was in on it?

“Can we talk?” He asked, slightly out of breath, heart still beating out of his chest. It was tense for a minute before Jaehyun finally answered. 

 

“Why do you want to talk?” he asked, turning around to face Jeno, who was taken aback by the genuine confusion on his face, yet how empty he looked at the same time. His heart began to beat louder in his ears, and his throat closed up. 

Jaehyun's eyes were cold but hurt. He was scared and hesitant, something Jeno had never seen his hyung be. Not the Jaehyun he once knew.

 

“If it’s to get an apology, then I’m sorry-” 

“I don’t need an apology, I know you’ve changed” Jeno interrupted him with reassurance, and Jaehyun fell quiet, confused at the younger’s words.

“What?” He quietly blurted out.

“I know Doyoung hurt you” Jeno redirected instead of enlightening the older. He came for one thing, and one thing only. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know” he continued, eyes soft, but all Jaehyun felt was pity, and he let out a sigh. He didn’t want pity, he wanted to be left alone to heal. He looked away from Jeno for a moment. 

“It’s fine, I know it’s not your fault” he replied, and Jeno noticed how his skeptical facade faltered for a moment, how his broken eyes looked at the ground, and the bitter smile tugging at his lips. 

It hurt Jeno, standing there and realizing how broken Jaehyun was. Anger was beginning to burn inside his stomach again, low, but still growing. An anger he wasn’t used to. 

“That doesn’t make it okay” he spoke, and his hyung looked at him. “I know how much you love Taeyong, and it pisses me off that my brother ed it up” Jaehyun’s eyes widened slightly at the expression on Jeno’s face. 

His eyes were dark, eyebrows tightened, jaw tense. The genuine anger surprised him, because never had Jeno shown that kind of face. Not to him, not even after what he did back then.

Perhaps, that’s why he knew Jeno was sincere and honest with him, yet his broken self, knew that couldn’t be it. His broken self had come to know, you can’t trust anyone, and after all, Jeno was still Doyoung’s brother, still his ex, so he let out a sigh.

“Jeno, seriously, it’s fine, it’s not your responsibility, so just leave it” he ended up replying, ready to end this conversation, because he’d be lying if it didn’t affect him, seeing Jeno back in front of him. Sure, he said he knew Jeno had nothing to do with it, but what if that was a lie?

 

“No, because-” 

“No! Stop!” Jaehyun interrupted Jeno, and this time, Jeno fell quiet, and the anger began to calm down: The fire was there, but Jeno could control it, he could keep it from burning him. 

“I should have told Taeyong about what happened between us, instead of being a coward, because now I’ve lost him” Jaehyun continued, and Jeno heard the shakiness in his voice, even if Jaehyun pretended it didn’t happen. He could see his eyes turn glossy, see his lip twitching in the corner.

“You do realize, if Doyoung hadn’t come between you, you wouldn’t have lost him?” Jeno replied, voice low, but calm, and Jaehyun was quiet again, thinking. 

“So what? It’s not your fault” and Jeno took a deep breath, staring directly at Jaehyun.

“No, but I want to help you” he spoke with a calm voice, and warmth spread in Jaehyun's heart, but so did fear, and so, instead of lowering the gate and trusting Jeno, he kept it closed.  

“Why?” he asked, unconsciously taking a step back, and Jeno was quiet for a moment before calmly asking 

“Does it matter?” 

“Yes!" the other immediately threw back at him, and Jeno flinched. 

"Yes, it does!” Jeno's heart stopped beating. The raw fear Jaehyun had tried to hide was there on his face, clear as day. 

“Because my ex’s brother screws me over, and then my ex shows up and says that he wants to help?!” Jaehyun yelled, and Jeno hated how scared and anxious Jaehyun was. He was not at all the hyung he once knew. 

Jaehyun turned to face the floor, wiping a hand across his face.

“Jaehyun-” 

“- I’m tired, I’m done!” Jaehyun interrupted again. “-I don’t know who to trust anymore, so please!" Jeno wanted to look away from Jaehyun, but he couldn't. "-Please be honest with me, because I don’t know if I can trust you!” he ended.

But weren't those words vulnerable? Weren’t they proof that he wanted to trust Jeno? 

 

“Okay” the younger let out with a deep breath, and so he began to explain. 

“Back at the Halloween party, I told Doyoung to stop seeking revenge for me,-” Jaehyun listened silently to his words. “-because I moved on, but I guess he didn’t” he paused to take a deep breath “Because after winter prom, you and Taeyong weren't talking anymore and you changed completely.” He stepped just a bit closer to Jaehyun, who in return, locked eyes with him.

“You really think I won’t find that suspicious?” Jeno asked, staring directly at him “You really think I won’t realize that my brother went behind my back?” Jaehyun turned away from his stare and thought for a moment. 

“You really didn’t have anything to do with it?” 

“No!” Jeno exclaimed, “I’m pissed at my brother Hyung!" Jeno exploded. "I want him to suffer!” he was fuming, but still, he stayed as calm as possible. He wanted Jaehyun to trust him.

“You just want revenge?” Jaehyun coldly replied, and Jeno was hesitant in his answer.

“You don’t want to get back at Doyoung?” 

Jaehyun was silent for a moment again, and the empty look was back in his eyes, reminiscing about what he had been through. Messing with Jeno had caused Doyoung to break him, making him realize just why you should care about what you do. 

“I’ve come to learn that your past actions come back around” he spoke with a sigh, and for once, Jeno wasn’t just pissed at his brother, but Jaehyun as well. 

“You do realize that it was him! Not just some karma, but him?!” he snapped at the other. He tried to calm himself down, but the frustration inside him didn’t want to die down.

“We won’t be better than him if we do that, is what I mean” Jaehyun calmly replied, and when Jeno didn’t answer, still trying to calm down, Jaehyun let out a sigh and continued. 

“Jeno, getting back at him won’t fix what he broke.” Jeno was taking deep breaths, wanting to calm down. He knew Jaehyun was right, but a part of him didn’t want to listen. 

“It won’t bring back Taeyong, so if that’s the reason you wanted to help, stop meddling in our business” Jaehyun ended, already walking away. 

“Jaehyun” 

“Hyung, that isn’t the only reason!” Jeno called out, and Jaehyun stopped, inhaled sharply, and turned around with cold eyes.

“What’s between me and Taeyong is not your problem anymore, so drop it!” he paused. “This conversation is over!” Jeno looked at him with fuming eyes and looked ready to explode, but he didn’t, so Jaehyun began walking away again.

 

“No it’s not" the younger blurted out "because I’m ing sick and tired of seeing you losing the one you’ve always wanted!” he called after Jaehyun, and this time his hyung stopped dead in his tracks, his heart stopped beating.

“What?” he asked after a moment of silence, turning around. Jeno took a deep breath, and something about Jeno seemed familiar, yet also different to Jaehyun. The way he was hurting but didn’t want others to hurt. The way he didn’t blame others but took the blame himself. The one who feels so much, but doesn’t know what to do.

It was the Jeno from back then, and it was the emotions from the Jeno back then that finally spilled over. Was Jeno even aware? 

“I’m a mix of emotions Jaehyun!” the younger blurted out, and Jaehyun stayed silent “I’m pissed, I’m sad, I’m frustrated, I’m hurt, and I don’t know why!-” Jaehyun’s heart broke, and guilt came washing back because Jeno had obviously tried to keep it all away. 

“-Perhaps because I see you lose the one you wanted all along! I’m tired of seeing you get him, only to lose him because of my brother!” Jeno stopped and took in a deep shaky breath. 

“You were my hyung before, and you still are” and Jaehyun’s heart stopped beating, and he couldn’t speak. Jeno's eyes were soft, and it reminded him of the time they were friends. 

“Jeno, I…” he started out and looked at the younger. Somehow, he understood why Jeno wanted to help, and yet somehow he didn’t.

“I’m sorry.” he let out, and Jeno looked at him with an understanding look. “Thank you for your concern, but it’s still not your business” 

“I’m tired of drama, I’m tired of this that's going on between you and Doyoung, so please find another way to get revenge. I’m done being some pawn in your games, so please just leave me alone. Don’t bring us into you and your brother’s drama, okay?” He spoke and left before Jeno could stop him.

Jeno stood frozen in place for a minute, trying to take the whole conversation in. From Jaehyun feeling guilty, to himself confessing what he’s been bottling up, and at last, Jaehyun’s defeated words.  

 

He was a mess inside, more now than before. 

A part of him wanted to respect Jaehyun’s words, but a part of him was still angry at his brother, even more now.  A part of him was also numb, so utterly numb, and with silent steps he walked towards the main exit, looking down at the floor.  

Should he yell? Should he cry? Should he beat up his brother? 

Should he let it go? 

Jaehyun didn’t want anything to do with this, getting revenge was meaningless, he had said. Perhaps he should just leave it? 

 

As he reached the main hall, he spotted a familiar person leaning against the wall. 

 

“Didn’t I tell you not to meddle?” Jaemin spoke, walking towards Jeno, who returned his look to the floor. 

”It’s not your business anymore Jeno” Jaemin continued, and Jeno took a deep breath.

“I…” he paused “Maybe, maybe not” he sighed. 

“It’s my fault Doyoung did what he did'' he shrugged, and he was aware his voice was breaking. 

“He did it for me, Jaemin”. His boyfriend’s eyes, which had earlier been harsh, softened up, seeing how upset Jeno was.

“Jeno,” he softly muttered, pulling Jeno into a hug, who leaned his head on Jaemin’s shoulder. 

“It’s fine,” Jeno muttered, “I know, you don’t understand, but I want to fix this” 

Jaemin let out a deep breath “Okay, I won’t” even if that’s what he really thought. He knew why Jeno wanted to fix it, so who was he to stop him? 

“Let’s get you home” Jaemin muttered after a while and took Jeno’s hand in his.

 

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Jaemin asked as they neared Jeno’s house. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” he asked, caressing Jeno’s hand, but Jeno shook his head. “No, it’s fine. We have tests coming up” he said with a smile. Jaemin nodded “I’ll call you later,” he said and left even if he didn’t want to. 

Doyoung had always given off a weird vibe to him. Back when Jeno and Jaemin were just friends Doyoung had been clingy and possessive towards Jeno, always treating him like a baby, even if Jeno didn’t need it. It never really sat right with Jaemin, but he shook it off as Doyoung taking care of Jeno on behalf of their absent parents, but when they got older, when Jaemin began liking Jeno, he began to despise it. 

 

Whenever he brought it up though, Jeno had always shrugged it off and given his brother the benefit of the doubt, but with this “thing” he did, Jeno finally snapped.

Of course, Jaemin was mad Jeno didn’t see his brother’s behavior before it happened, because now he’s blaming himself, but he could never say that to him. He could only stay silent and be there for Jeno. 

 

Back at the house, Jeno closed the door with a deep breath, immediately greeted by his brother, who came walking out of the kitchen. 

“Welcome back Jeno,” he said with a smile, but the younger one didn't answer, and began making his way upstairs instead. 

How could his brother smile at him like that, knowing what he did? Did he really think he was right? 

Did he not feel guilty at all?

 

Doyoung’s smile faltered. 

“Jeno?” He called after him, but the younger one didn't answer, and Doyoung began to follow him upstairs. 

“Jeno?” he called again.

“Jeno what’s wrong?” 

“Just, leave me alone” the younger snapped, stopping up in the middle of the stairs. His hand was gripping the railing tight, and his shoulders were tensed up, yet his voice said he was exhausted. 

 

It took his brother by surprise.

“I wanna be alone right now” the younger continued, still cold towards his brother who could only wonder why he was reacting like this. 

Had someone hurt him again? 

“Jeno, you know you can tell me what’s wrong, right?” he began ranting. “Is it Jaemin? Did he do some-” 

“-Stop!” Jeno finally yelled at Doyoung, who fell quiet. 

Jeno’s head was hurting from the constant calls for “Jeno”.

Why was he so obsessed with him? 

Why did he let it go before?

Why did he have to hurt his friends? 

Jeno’s hyungs who were also Doyoung’s friends?

 

He took in a deep breath before continuing. 

“Doyoung, just stop meddling in my business”. 

He felt suffocated, knowing he couldn’t trust his brother, and he let out a tired breath before continuing upstairs to his room.

He didn’t want to see him anymore. 

Sure, their parents threw a lot of onto Doyoung's shoulders, but this time, he had gone too far. 

 He deserved to be hurt the way he had hurt them.

“We won’t be better than him” it rang in his head. “It won’t bring back Taeyong”, no, but it was his motivation to bring him back. 

 

The rest of the day went on like that, and the next day as well. Jeno wouldn’t talk nor acknowledge his brother, and Doyoung began to worry that Jeno might have found out, but he wasn’t sure. He kept an eye on him during school, but whenever he saw Jeno, he was fine and laughing with his friends, or with Jaemin who made him smile. 

 

Lunch was boring, as usual, that day. Johnny and Tao were small-talking and Kris was trying to join it sometimes, while Taeyong was silent as usual, but would try to join them as well, but he would always fall silent as his eyes would fall onto a certain table. 

Doyoung knew who it was, and never really cared to follow his glance. He wasn’t supposed to care, he wasn’t supposed to feel sympathy for him, but today, he followed Taeyong’s eyes.

Doyoung only let out a sigh, at the sight of the empty chair. 

He hadn’t been following the gossip around school, rather he avoided meddling with Jaehyun and Taeyong as much as possible, and Jaehyun, as one of the popular, would surely be talked about. Even so, Doyoung had heard of his change and the loss of his popularity, yet, he ignored the emotions stirring in his stomach, and went on with his life. 

He turned back to Taeyong, who was leaving the table, and he followed him with his eyes, only to see his brother leaving as well. Doyoung’s eyebrows were furrowed, as he couldn’t understand what the hell was going on. His heart sped up, as fear began to creep up. 

“What the…” he muttered to himself, not wanting to believe Jeno actually knew.

“What’s up?” one of the others asked but Doyoung ignored them with a shake of his head. “Nothing” he dismissed. “it’s nothing” 

It probably was nothing. He leaned back in his chair, still looking towards the hallway. Hopefully, it was nothing. 

 

“Taeyong-” 

“- I’m going to talk to Jaehyun” 

Jeno fell silent and nodded at the older’s words. “I miss him so much” he admitted, leaning against the wall, and Jeno could hear the strain in his voice. 

“I should’ve faced this head-on months ago but instead I- ed up our relationship- well what could’ve been our relationship!” he continued, sliding down the wall. 

Jeno sat down beside him, heart heavy with sympathy. He didn’t know what to say or if Taeyong even wanted him to say anything. “He’s given me so much, and I kept being afraid of hurting, while he just- jumped without hesitation” Taeyong ended, and the silence was heavy between them as Jeno thought back on his conversation with Jaehyun. Jaehyun wanted to tell Taeyong the truth, but Taeyong was afraid. They were both so utterly in love with each other 

 

“He did” he ended up commenting instead, knowing that Jaehyun was hurting because he truly loved Taeyong. 

At the comment, the latter turned to him “What?” 

“He really jumped” Jeno repeated with a sigh, and the other continued to stare at him, still confused at the younger’s words. 

“What do you mean?”  

Jeno was silent for a moment before elaborating “I tried to talk to him yesterday” and Taeyong let out a small “oh” and Jeno waited for Taeyong to add something, but he didn’t, so he hesitantly continued “he misses you” was all he could say. The words were stuck in his throat, trying to figure out what to say. It wasn’t the right thing to say, as Taeyong looked down at the floor with empty eyes. 

“I-” Jeno tried, but the words didn’t come out “He-” he tried, but again, he was at a loss for words. Taeyong turned to him, seeing the hurt appear on Jeno’s face “What is it?” he asked in a small voice, and Jeno closed his eyes “I can’t” he muttered, and Taeyong was confused. 

He wasn’t aware that Jaehyun wanted Jeno to stay out of it, and that Jeno wanted to respect his words, yet having a hard time doing so. Jeno’s heart hurt, wanting to talk to Taeyong, but wanting to keep his word. 

“Jeno” Taeyong called out, and Jeno looked at him, and hesitantly spoke “He’s broken” 

“and I just, I hate it. He wants me to stay out of this, but I can’t” 

“There’s a lot of answers you don’t have, and I want to give them to you, but it’s not in my place to give you all of them, but I want to, because then it’ll be so much easier, but I can’t” 

Taeyong was silent for a while, thinking about what Jeno just said.

“Then don’t” he softly replied. “I’m going to talk to him, so you don’t have to” Jeno looked at him, but then turned back to the floor with a frustrated expression, like there was something he wanted to say, but he didn’t, but the longer the silence went on, the more curious Taeyong got, but then the bell rang, and the boys turned to each other “Let’s talk after school” Taeyong quietly proposed, and Jeno nodded “Okay”, and they split ways. Jeno walked back towards the cafeteria, for Jaemin, while Taeyong went to his class. 

 

After school, they met up at a cafe nearby. It was silent between them, as Taeyong was trying to figure out what to ask Jeno. 

Jaehyun missed him, loved him. He wanted Jeno to stay out of it. Why? 

Does Jeno know what happened?

What did they talk about? 

“What happened yesterday?” he cautiously asked. 

“I went to find him,” Jeno let out a sigh. “and we talked about you, and about Doyoung” He wasn't looking at Taeyong, rather the coffee in front of him. Taeyong thought for a moment “What about us?” he asked, and Jeno let out a sigh.  

“I told him that I knew he loved you and that I wanted to help you” 

“What about Doyoung?” 

“I wanted to get revenge on him, and he told me, I should stay out of your business because getting revenge wouldn’t fix your relationship” 

It was silent for a minute before Taeyong decided to speak up.

“Jeno, do you even know what your brother did?” 

“No, I don’t”

“But still you’re ready to get revenge?” 

Jeno didn’t say anything for a while “I guess it’s weird, but I fear that I’m going to give him sympathy if I know” looking Taeyong in the eye. 

“I don’t think so, and if you do, he’s still human. He has his reasons” Taeyong shrugged as a reply, and Jeno looked away. 

“Exactly”

“Jeno, there’s also something I’m curious about” 

“What?” 

Taeyong took a moment to continue his words. “It’s easier to explain once you hear what happened” and so, he told Jeno everything that had happened, from the first party, up till the point where Doyoung kissed Jaehyun. 

 

Jeno listened deeply to what he said, and once he was done, Taeyong let out the question that had been bothering him. 

“Did Doyoung ever see us as friends?” he sounded so utterly defeated, and Jeno, who was sitting silent across from him, didn’t know what to say.  

“He warned me so…” Taeyong started out with a shrug, but the other shaking his head, made him stop talking. 

“I don’t think so,” Jeno said with certainty, but his eyes were empty as he stared at the table. “I don’t think he cared. He hurt Jaehyun by making it seem like he could never change” he stated, and Taeyong nodded, and Jeno got up “I’m gonna go home now. I think you should hear the rest from Jaehyun” he said, and quietly left, while Taeyong was left confused. 

 

The more he knew, the more clear, yet also confusing it became. One thing he was sure of, he had to talk to Jaehyun. He wanted to talk to him. 

He wanted to be with him no matter what.

He just needed to find the right time.

In a few days, they wouldn’t come to school unless they had exams, so the weekend was the best time to catch him. 

Even if Jeno gave him an answer, Taeyong couldn’t help but think about it. Did Doyoung really never see them as friends? 

Did he really not feel guilty about what he did? 

 

He should. 

 

“Mom and dad are home tomorrow” Doyoung informed his brother who walked inside the house, not even acknowledging his words. 

“Did you hear me?” he called after Jeno, who was walking upstairs, still not answering. 

Doyoung was getting anxious. It was obvious he knew. 

“How long are you going to ignore me?!” 

Jeno let out a deep breath. He was trying hard not to blow up in Doyoung’s face, and he didn’t want to. 

“Fine, if you won’t talk, so be it. We don’t have to-”

“-When are they leaving again?” was all Jeno said, and Doyoung froze for a second “Monday. Mom is already home Wednesday again” Doyoung informed, and Jeno continued to his room in silence. If Doyoung really didn’t want to admit what he had done, then Jeno didn’t want anything to do with him. 

He didn’t know what to do with him anyway. Doyoung was his brother, his flesh and blood, so he didn’t want to hate him. He didn’t want to hurt him, but a part of him wanted to, wanted to hate him for as long as possible and not forgive him, and for that to happen, he needed to distance himself from him. 

Jaemin was right, he shouldn’t have meddled. 

He has his reasons, but it didn't excuse it.

 

It was the next, and Doyoung was in the kitchen, just relaxing when his phone vibrated.

*Baekhyun have added you to Closet*  

Doyoung looked at the notification in confusion, before another notification popped up, and he unlocked his phone.

 

Baek

Guys, we are having an emergency meeting today. 

It’s been a while since we’ve had one, and frankly, we need one

 

YutaWhoLovesWinWin

Who exactly? 

 

WinWinn

Why did you add Doyoung? 

 

Doyoung

Yeah, why am I here? 

 

Baek

Yuwin, you’re excused

It’s me, Johnny, Tao, Doyoung and Taeyong, who it’s for.

There’s some to solve, and everyone in question should already know 

 

Doyoung

I’m not coming 

 

Baek

Doyoung, you’re coming. You’re one of us, and therefore it is our business

 

Doyoung’s heart was beating out of his chest, and he locked his phone, letting out a deep breath. He didn’t want to see Taeyong, and he really didn’t want to talk about what happened, especially with them. 

He didn’t need to know how horrible he was, or how messed up it was.

He already knew. 

It was cowardly of him to try and run away from the overwhelming guilt, but he didn’t want it. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to accept how messed up he had made his world. 

He didn’t want to unravel in front of everyone, to show the messed up side of him, that he’s managed to keep private. 

 

He sat down on the couch in the living room, and checked the time. It was only around 12, and his parents would be home at 6 or even later, so hopefully, he'd be able to relax for just a while longer, but not long after sitting down, Doyoung heard the stairs creak, and he turned to see Jeno with a bag by the door.

“Where are you going?” he asked, and Jeno let out a deep breath “Jaemin” he coldly answered “When are you back?” 

Jeno shrugged “I don’t know”
“They are back tonight, be back before then” Doyoung spoke, and Jeno was silent for a moment “I meant I don’t know as in, I’m staying there for a few days” he replied, and Doyoung’s heart dropped.

He got up from the couch, and in a few steps, he was in front of Jeno “Jeno, no” he warned, but Jeno knew it was a plead, and he didn’t give in “You know you’re my responsibility, you can’t” Doyoung heart was beating out of his chest, and his hands were about to cling onto Jeno's shirt, but they stopped midair. 

“You know the rules Jeno” he reminded him, and Jeno ignored the guilt in his heart “ the rules. I’m not your responsibility anymore Doyoung. I’m old enough to take care of myself” and Doyoung knew that but that didn't change anything, "Jeno-" 

“-You need therapy” the younger coldly interrupted, and Doyoung froze, so Jeno used that opportunity to open the door, only to see Johnny and Baekhyun stand on the other side, seemingly about to ring the doorbell. 

“See, even your friends are here. You don’t have to worry about me” Jeno spoke, and Doyoung took a shaky breath “What am I going to do?” he asked his brother, so low only he heard it. Jeno only glared at his brother, who was gripping his arm to keep him from leaving “Do what you do best” he muttered “Lie” he added, and walked past the two, who stood with confused faces, watching him leave.

Doyoung finally turned to the others, trying to gain back his composure. 

“What are you doing here?” he coldly asked with crossed arms.

“Picking you up for the meeting” Baekhyun reasoned with a sheepish smile, and Doyoung let out a sigh. “What about Taeyong?” he hesitantly asked.

“He’s not coming. He called me earlier” 

“I don’t really have a choice do I?” 

“Nope, not really” Johnny bluntly stated, already ready to leave. Johnny didn't care to spare anyone's feelings, he was honest when needed. He obviously didn't care for whatever excuse Doyoung had, and Doyoung respected him for it. He was cold, but at least he was honest. Something Doyoung wasn't 

“Fine” Doyoung gave in with a sigh and went inside to leave a note for his parents, before following Baekhyun and Johnny. He really hoped he would be home before them. He really hoped. 

 

Taeyong’s heart was beating out of his chest as he neared Jaehyun’s house. He didn’t know what to expect from Jaehyun, how he was going to react. 

He took a deep breath, telling himself that it was all going to be fine, and that Jaehyun wouldn’t yell or scream at him to leave. 

After all, he still loved him. Hopefully.

It was suddenly so cold. In a second, it was no longer June, but January, cold but a new beginning. He exhaled and rang the doorbell, holding his breath, as the door finally opened. 

A quiet Jaehyun became visible in the door, and Taeyong’s heart stopped as they made eye contact. 

“Tae?” his quiet voice sounded, but all Taeyong could focus on was how different Jaehyun was up close, and how soft his voice was. It didn’t use to be that soft. His eyes didn’t use to be that dark and empty. He was so pale, so pale one would think it was winter again, but it wasn't. 

“I’m sorry” was all Taeyong could mutter as everything came washing over him. “I’m so sorry Jae”, and the latter stood in silence, watching in confusion as Taeyong apologized. “Don’t be” he tried to comfort and stepped closer “It’s not your fault” he continued, but the broken smile on his face, broke Taeyong's heart even more. His heart of ice didn't even melt, it shattered. “You’re here now” Jaehyun muttered with glassy eyes, and tears fell from Taeyong’s eyes. 

 

Jaehyun reached out a hand to wipe his tears, and as soon as his warm hand touched Taeyong’s cheek, Taeyong melted into his touch, finally realizing how much he had missed Jaehyun, how much he had craved his warmth, so without thinking, he threw his arms around Jaehyun’s neck, burying his head in his shoulder. It took Jaehyun a moment to hug him back, but it was just as tight, and Taeyong could feel the way Jaehyun also melted into the hug. 

“I’m sorry I left you” Taeyong croaked out, and Jaehyun held him tighter, “It’s okay, I told you I’d wait” his warm voice sounded, and Taeyong tightened his grip as if apologizing again.

 

After a while, they sat down in the living room, but it was silent between them. They didn’t know how to start the conversation that was inevitable, the conversation that had been paused back in December. Even if everything else had melted, that one was still frozen in place.

 

Taeyong wasn’t sure how to ask about Jeno, or about what really happened that night, and Jaehyun wasn’t sure what to say first. 

 

“How long would you have waited?” Taeyong cautiously asked, and at Jaehyun’s silence, his heart clenched. Tears formed in his eyes again, and he couldn’t breathe. 

“I’m so sorry” he croaked out, this time not to apologize for the wait, but for doubting he ever loved him. 

Frustration welled up inside of him again, remembering how Doyoung was the one who caused this, but it was also towards himself for ever believing him. 

 

“I love you” Jaehyun finally let out after a while, staring directly into Taeyong’s eyes, and the tears fell from Taeyong’s eyes. He wanted to say I love you too, but the words were stuck in his throat, but Jaehyun understood. 

He wiped Taeyong’s tears again, holding his face in his hand, staring with loving eyes at him, only causing Taeyong to cry harder, as he hated himself more for not talking to him back in December.

He grabbed Jaehyun’s hand and held it tight as he leaned into his touch. 

There was a relief, a painful relief behind his smile and his eyes. One that caused tears to fall, and the flame of his dying hope to light up.

“What’s on your mind?” Taeyong croaked, seeing all of this happen in front of him, and Jaehyun blinked, causing another tear to fall, as he smiled “I’ve just” he paused “I’ve just missed you” he softly spoke, looking at Taeyong as though he would disappear as soon as closed his eyes, and finally, Taeyong noticed the desperation behind his relief. 

“Can we not talk about it?” Jaehyun muttered. Taeyong was silent for a moment.

“Why?” 

“I’m just…” Jaehyun's shaky voice let out

“I’m so afraid. What if you’re going to leave me again?” 

Taeyong fell quiet again, but then he took Jaehyun’s hand from his cheek and held it tight in his own. “I’m not” he answered as confidently as he could, but his voice was still shaking. “Why would I have come, if only to leave?” Jaehyun looked away from him, feeling like an idiot. He couldn’t help but fear Taeyong would leave. 

“I don’t know” He answered with a heavy heart, and Taeyong was quiet, knowing why he would be afraid even if he didn't say it. “I love you” he tried to convince him .“I know, you’ve done something bad, but I also know you love me” 

“I do, I love you so much” Jaehyun croaked out, and hugged Taeyong tight in his arms. A silent tear fell from Taeyong's eye.

“Do you trust me?” he asked against Jaehyun’s shoulder, and Jaehyun nodded. “I do” 

“Then please tell me” 

It was quiet for a moment.

“Okay” 

 

 

Back at Johnny’s apartment, Doyoung’s stopped listening to Baekhyun’s words, as a new message popped up on his phone. 

“I’ve gotta go” he excused as he got up from Johnny’s couch, and the others immediately turned to him “What?” Baekhyun blurted out.

“I have to go, we’ve covered my thing anyway” he rambled on as they stared at him confused. He didn't care for whatever they were calling after him and left.

 

He hurried down the streets, only one thing playing in his head. His parents are home, and he’s not. 

His parents were home, and he was not. 

With every repeat, his heart sped up, and the anxiety grew bigger.

Should he walk home, or should he wait for a bus? 

Which would be faster? 

Perhaps, walking would clear his head, hopefully, it’d make him more calm, but his heart was only speeding up. 

He tried calling Jeno, but to no avail. His brother really didn’t care about him. “” he muttered as he heard the voicemail again, only walking faster towards their house. 

His shaky hands texted Jeno message after message, as he neared their house, but they too were ignored. Coming to a stop in front of it, he took a last deep breath, before slowly opening the door, his heart beating loud in his ears, but when he got inside, the silence that met him was suffocating and ominous. Only his heartbeat was loud. 

He took off his shoes, and quietly made his way to the kitchen, where his parents were standing by the kitchen counter. 

“Where’s your brother?” his mother asked, the note he had left, lying in front of her. Doyoung took in a deep breath before answering “He’s still at his friend’s house, studying”. His mother crossed her arms, so Doyoung quickly but calmly blurted out “Jeno thought it was better, so that I could study for my exams”, but his mother wasn’t pleased with his answer “Did you allow him?” Doyoung didn't answer.

“When is he home?” she asked at his silence. 

Doyoung’s heart sped up, and the words were stuck in his throat, and so his mother let out a sigh, and the anxiety grew in Doyoung. “You’re supposed to watch over him when we’re gone!” she snapped, and Doyoung flinched, and lowered his head.

This was bad.

She's disappointed.

You're dead, you've failed them. 

“You’re responsible for him keeping up his grades!" Doyoung flinched again, and tried to ignore the voice in his head "I told you I don’t want you going out on the weekends! Especially at this time!” but it was hard, when that same voice, was outside of his head.

He shut out her voice. His heart was beating so loud in his ears, he couldn’t hear the words she was yelling at him, but he still knew what she was saying. 

“Doyoung” his father’s voice cut in, and Doyoung looked up at the man “You know how little time we have with you, and why we don’t want you to go out on weekends. Please don’t get upset with your mother, she just want the best for you two” 

She's just stressed, as always. 

She cares for you, in an overprotective way. 

Even though something inside Doyoung told him it wasn’t okay, he took a deep breath, and answered “Okay” and forgave his mother’s outburst. It was better that way. He didn't want to fight. He didn't want conflicts, so it was just better to give in.

 

“I don’t know when he’ll be home. I know he’ll be back before you leave” he quietly muttered, and his mother let out an annoyed sigh but stayed quiet. 

“Where did we go wrong?” she then muttered, loud enough for Doyoung to hear, and he knew it was about him. 

He wanted to apologize, but he knew it wouldn’t do anything. It’ll only sound like an excuse to them, so he stayed quiet. His heart breaking, disappointed, but it was expected.

When will he ever be good enough? 

When will they be proud of him? 

He wanted to excuse himself to go to his room, but he couldn’t speak. If he did, his voice would break, and that’ll only be seen as failure and weakness to his parents. 

“Go to your room” his father harshly spoke, but when Doyoung locked eyes with him, they were apologetic, and so he left.

 

 

Jaehyun and Taeyong went to the park, to talk it through. “I used to date Jeno” Jaehyun started out, and Taeyong let out an “I know” which Jaehyun had somewhat expected. 

“I cheated on Jeno” he then continued, glancing at Taeyong for a reaction, but the other was quiet. He nodded quietly, and so Jaehyun continued “I’m not that kind of person anymore” 

“I know” Taeyong quietly let out again, and Jaehyun glanced at him, before looking down again. “When we broke up, it wasn’t as messy as you might think” Jaehyun admitted, “He broke up with me, just as I was about to break up. He said it might be for the better, and left” Taeyong was staring at Jaehyun as he was talking.

“He knew I loved someone else all along, someone who caused me to act the way I did” 

“What does this have to do with what happened?” Taeyong asked, and Jaehyun turned to him with a bitter smile.

“It has everything to do with it because Doyoung didn’t know. Doyong only saw his brother hurt. He did what he did because he didn’t know Jeno broke up with me because he knew I was in love with you” Taeyong was quiet at the sudden confession. "Jeno was hurting because he felt like a fool" Jaehyun further explained, and Taeyong had countless questions flowing in his head.

“You mean, back then, since then, you loved me?” he asked.

“Yes” 

“But I was… I was dating Ten?” Jaehyun was quiet for a moment.

“Yes,” he then confidently answered.

“I’m so sorry” Taeyong muttered, and Jaehyun turned to him in confusion “Why are you sorry?” 

“I don’t know, I just feel responsible” he shrugged, and Jaehyun shook his head.

“You’re not. And I have something else to tell you” Jaehyun hesitantly replied, and Taeyong turned to him, noticing this.

“What?” 

“When you told me Doyoung and Jeno were brothers, I confronted Doyoung, and he told me what he was trying to do” he admitted and looked away from Taeyong.

“I should have told you then and there, but I just, I was so scared because that meant I had to confess what happened between Jeno and me, and I was so scared of losing you” his voice was breaking, and Taeyong sat in silence, taking him Jaehyun's confession.

“He was trying to make you hate me, he was making you see me in a way I wasn’t anymore, and I knew, I thought that if I told you, I’d only confirm your doubts” 

“That’s why you were hung up on Ten? Because you had loved me for so long?” was all Taeyong asked. Jaehyun looked at him in confusion, before continuing. 

“I hurt so many, trying to get over you” 

“I’m so sorry” 

“It’s not your fault” 

“I love you” 

“I love you too” 

 

Doyoung was lying on his bed, exhausted. 

Dinner tonight had been uncomfortable, silent, and tense, with Doyoung failing to live up to his parents’ expectations. He hated it, he hated how all he had to do, was take care of Jeno, and even that, was impossible. 

He his phone. Jeno still hadn’t responded to any of his texts, but Doyoung didn’t blame him. He just hoped it wouldn’t get messy because he knew who’d take the fall in the end, and so did Jeno. 

"You need therapy"

He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. It was possible Jeno was right, it was possible he needed to get away from everything, but not until after graduation. 

 

Luckily, Jeno came home the next day before his parents left, but as soon as they were gone, so was he. 

Doyoung knew it was useless to stop him, still, he reminded him about their mother arriving on Wednesday. Doyoung couldn't help but wonder, perhaps, Jeno left, knowing he'd break Doyoung if they stayed in the same house. Perhaps he knew what the exams meant, and perhaps he didn't hate him as much as he thought.