At some point he arrived home, all he remembers is laying in bed, with darkness surrounding him, drifting into sleep only to meet a horrible dream.
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"Tao!" He kept running, tears streaming down his cheeks "TAO" He ignored his desperate voice "Please Tao! Please wait!" 

He knew he was following him, but he would never be able to catch up with him "Go away!" He stopped up and turned around to face him "Ple-please go away" His voice was shaking and so broken, that he couldn't speak properly "No I won't go away, tell me what's going on! Please! I'm worried Tao!" Tao slowed backed away as Kris stepped forward "No, I-I'm sorry... but I can't! Just go away, please Kris" He could see how Kris' eyes were tearing up "Why Tao? Why can't you tell me? We've rarely talked, you're way too distant. I don't like it, you worry me Tao" one tear fell silently, then another. When did it go so wrong?

Another morning, where he was waking up, tears falling. Was this their future? Are they gonna fall apart like this? What happened to make Tao so messed up in the future? He ran a hand over his face before getting ready.

At lunch, he sat quietly and stared at the table, picking at his food. 

He replayed the incident from yesterday. When was it rambling? When would she tell everyone about him? 

"Hey Tao" he looked up to see Kris with a worried expression on his "Are you okay? You've been out of it all day" Tao shook his head "It's nothing, just stressed, sorry" he noticed how the others also looked concerned at him "Really, I'm fine" he answered before looking at the table again, trying to ignore the stares from the group. 

After long moments of stabbing his food and feeling the stares, he put his chopsticks down harshly "Would you please stop?" he said and looked up only to see that it wasn't just the group that looked at him, but everyone. He didn't like this, he didn't like it all. Why are they staring at him? Do they know? What's going on? His head started spinning and he had a sudden need to throw up 

"I.." He tried to excuse himself but failed, and just disappeared from the table and out of the cafeteria. He kept stumbling down the corridors, his head was killing him. He made his way up the stairs, tripping on some steps. He turned the door handle and let the air hit him, as he fell to the ground on the rooftop.

After his breathing calmed down, and the anxious feeling disappeared from his hands, he let himself close his eyes, and just relax

"Tao" someone called, and he turned to face Johnny who came out of the door. He sat down beside Tao and looked forward, and Tao did the same. The sky was so blue, and the sun was shining so brightly that they felt it burn through the white school uniform "So, what happened?" Johnny asked after a while "It's nothing" Tao let out, staring ahead "Tao, tell me"

Tao let out a sigh before saying "I'm afraid Somi told everyone about me"
Tao hid his face from Johnny in his hands in fear and frustration, how could he do something as stupid as that? How could he let his guard down so easily? 

"Yesterday, at Kris' house we got in a fight and she found out and I'm scared that she told him, and everyone else" Johnny hesitated before lifting his hand to pat Tao's head, an action that comforted Tao. The way Johnny's hand ruffled through his hair ever so slowly was so, so nice.
"As far as I know, she hasn't told anyone" Johnny answered staring at Tao, who looked so serene, and calm. He felt a small smile making its way onto his face, and quickly hid it before would catch it
"Then why was everyone staring at me?" Tao asked looking at Johnny with sorrowful eyes, and Johnny hesitated before retreating his hand and pulling out his phone "this" Johnny handed Tao his phone.

"A video?" Tao asked "Just watch" and he did, he watched the video of Somi and his fight in the cafeteria yesterday "Wh-why? H-how?" He asked Johnny, he didn't understand why they had filmed it, and posted it on Instagram with the caption "Heated discussion between the heir and a girlㅋㅋ Wtf is going onㅋㅋㅋ" he scrolled through the comments "Lol ㅋㅋ"
"What a temperㅋㅋ"
"What are they fighting about? ㅋㅋㅋ sounds hilarious ㅋㅋ"
"What a disappointment ㅋㅋ"
And so on

"I don't know Tao, I guess they hate you..."
"I still don't get it"
"Me neither, but it's trending, that's why we keep looking at you, we're worried. We know how your father is and all"
"Yeah" He let out a deep breath and stared at the sky "That reminds me, I'm going to the company tonight, so that'll be a pain" He looked at Johnny and him a small smile before looking away again, and Johnny saw the look in his eyes change "How're the meetings?" he asked
"Boring, I don't really get them. It's like those in The Heirs"
"Really?"
"Yeah"
"Then it's official," Johnny said with a laugh, and Tao looked at him confused 

"What?" 
"Your life is a kdrama!" They both laughed, and Tao leaned on Johnny, and the latter felt the warmth spread through his shoulder. 
"Then who am I?" Tao asked, curious about Johnny's view on him "Well we've already decided the kdrama, The Heirs, so" Johnny sat and thought for a moment, with Tao staring at him "Kim Tan" he said with a smile "Because both of you have an unrequited love, someone you can't get"
Tao nodded at the thought of being the lead character. He sat and enjoyed the warmth with a smile on his face "Do you wanna know who I think I am?"
"Sure" Johnny said with a shrug, as he looked at Tao whose face was inches from his. He looked into his eyes, those eyes that were a warm brown, like rich chocolate-

He quickly looked away, as he felt the blush crawl onto his face. He should not be thinking about Tao like this.

"I don't think Kim Tan and I have a lot in common. He is free to do whatever he wants to. He was literally told to go away and be rebellious. If I was him I would be happy. Yeah we both have a love we can't get, but he's hidden away, I'm not" 

He looked into the air, how great wouldn't it feel to be like Kim Tan? "No, remember the guy with the depression, who was forced to go to law school?" Tao stared blankly into Johnny's eyes, and the other nodded, careful not to lose himself in his eyes again "I'm more him. We're both forced into a future we don't want, and we are both forced to suppress our dreams. We can't even say anything about it, and in the end, we collapse" A silent tear escapes Tao's eye, and he sits up leaning against the wall "The only difference is, that I haven't fully collapsed yet"

"So Tao" Kris started out as they were walking home, but he couldn't find out what to say next, so they walked in silence. The last time they were so quiet, was a year ago and the week after that, Tao was gone. When he came back, Kris noticed how Tao was acting "Normal" again, confident, happy, social and joking all the time. He never told Kris where he went, but he still has an idea of where he went. As they were at Kris' house and about to say goodbye, Tao blurted out "I'm sorry Kris" and Kris turned to look at him "I'm sorry, for fighting and... you know hurting her" His head was turned away, so Kris wasn't able to see his expression, but he felt that Tao was crying "it's okay Tao, don't worry" Kris didn't try to make Tao look at him. He knew it'd hurt him "See you Tao" was all he said, and Tao would be lying if he said that reply didn't hurt him. He nodded and walked away.

Once Tao was home and inside his room, he changed clothes and got ready to leave for the company. He had no desire to be there, but he has to, and if he succeeds, at least he'll have a future.
As he fixed his hair, he thought maybe he should take a break soon, but spring break is two weeks from now, but he would spend all of it with Kris. He can't survive that, should he leave in the weekend? Maybe he should talk to his parents about it. They would understand. They always did, and even if it was the only thing they understood, it made him happy. 

A soft knock told Tao, that his father had arrived "Come in" he said and looked at the door as his father went inside "Tao, we have to- why is the light off?" Tao gave a small shrug and sat down in his chair, while his father sat on his bed "Well, we have to talk" Tao looked around and nodded "Okay, about what?" His father let out a tired breath as to say "I'm so ing done with this " making Tao sit still in his chair "You're not going to the company today. You're not in a state capable of having the responsibility, you currently have"
"Oh, okay" His father looked at him, expecting some kind of reaction, not an "Oh okay" "Don't you have anything to say?" he asked his son
"No, I understand your decision" Tao said with a blank expression, but his father saw right through him. 

He might be labeled as cold and strict, but he still cared about his son's health. After all, he was his son, his own blood, and he didn't want his son to hate him

"Tao, I want you to answer honestly on the next question," he said, Tao started to feel at ease, maybe his father was often scary, and expecting a lot from him, but he still cared about him of course.
"Are you, in any way okay?" the man asked with furrowed eyebrows
"No" he answered, and his father let out a deep breath  "Okay. We'll talk about this when I come home again okay?"
"Yeah" Tao took in a small breath as his father was about to leave "But dad" he stopped and looked at Tao "Yeah?"
"Have-have you seen the video?" He asked carefully, 
His father had forgotten about the talk they were supposed to have when he once arrived home. Tao didn't mind though, didn't care. He didn't expect his father to remember it.

The next few days seemed like a blur to Tao, and the only thing that was fun, was when he addressed Yuta and Sicheng as "Yuwin" in the locker room to get their attention. He and the others, at least he and Johnny, had a fun time with it. After that, it didn't seem as though the world was exciting anymore.

Practice went well, the classes were grey, and if one more asked him if he was okay he was gonna flip.

Friday was somewhat not there. Tao didn't remember what he did Friday, except for that. It felt like a dream when he looked back at it. Something started it, but it was all foggy, and all he felt when he thought about it was guilt and embarrassment. 

Tao sat Friday night on a swing, trying to clear his mind. It was at a park near their neighborhood, the same park he and Kris used to play at when they were younger. It was rather hot outside, and the sun hadn't even left the horizon yet. 

He kept thinking about Kris, because, no matter what Kris did, he couldn't hate him, he would always be there for him. But his dreams keep telling him differently. It seemed as though they had fallen apart or something, and Tao didn't like that, not one bit. He even found out yesterday that Somi and Kris were still dating, and Tao couldn't help but feel disappointed and scared. Scared that Somi might tell anyone, and disappointed that Kris still likes her. What was so great about her anyway? 

He felt frustrated and started swinging as he looked at the sunset.

"Tao what are you doing out here?" Tao looked at Kris who was making his way towards him, he shrugged "What about you Kris?" He threw back, but he didn't answer and went to sit down on the other swing "What about me? Tao you shouldn't be out at night, who knows what can happen?" Well, now he's curious "What do mean 'anything can happen'?" He asked, with a minor pissed voice "You don't know what can happen out here Tao. You're alone and all" Tao noticed how Kris looked pretty insecure and concerned "You okay?" Tao asked, quite concerned "Yeah, I'm just worried about you" He gave Tao a small smile, that made the other blush so much that he looked down on his feet to gain posture.

"D-don't worry, I'm fine" he answered

"You sure? Your actions tell the differ" Tao could he hear his low chuckling. It was so calming, and heart throbbing, he thought he was gonna melt. He had been thinking about the two for some time. What would happen if Tao confessed now? Kris knows about Yuta and Sicheng now, so maybe he'd be cool with Tao. That's the best case scenario, the worst case scenario would somewhat look like this; 

Tao confesses his feelings to Kris, Kris gets all disgusted and want nothing today with Tao, and leaves him heartbroken, with emptiness as his friend (Hello Darkness my old friend). That's why he won't say anything, Kris is too precious to him, even if they're only friends "I'm fine" Tao finally answered "Really, I'm fine"

"Then look me in the eyes," Kris said with a stern voice. They both knew Tao was lying, but there was no way he'd tell him, even Kris knew that, and so Tao stood up from his swing, without batting him an eye, and started to walk away "This is stupid, I'm fine so don't worry" he said but he heard Kris get up and follow him "Tao," He said in that low voice, that got Tao melting on the inside and a hand grabbed his wrist and turned him around, and Tao felt his heart beat so loud he feared Kris would hear it "Kr-Kris let go" He said and tried to make Kris let go of his wrist, but his grip tightened "Tao, look at me" Tao didn't look up and kept trying to get away, but Kris weakened him, and the anxiety that crawled through him didn't really help. 

"Tao stop! Why are you like this?!" Kris yelled 

Tao stopped, he had heard this before in a dream. His eyes widened and he stood still. He was not letting that dream come true. His heartbeat got louder and louder, and he looked at his hand and saw how it started to shake "Look at me" Kris said again with his deep voice "Why" Tao whispered, feeling tears press on "Why? I don't want to" he felt the grip tighten as he let out a sigh. "Tao don't you get it. You've been out of it this week. You are distant. Tell me what's going on" Tao's head started hurting. What's with this? The dream? But they were older? "It's nothing, Kris. I'm going home" He pulled his hand out of his grip and ran away. Not caring that Kris was yelling at him. The tears started spilling as soon as he got inside "Tao!" He saw his mother come running to him as he cried "I-I want a break pl-please"

He slowly opened the door and stopped. He knew they were here, but it felt as if it was something he wasn't supposed to hear. It wasn't in any way. He was mad, to be held out like this. They never really talked about anything anymore. Knowing the time was close, he needed to do something

""