. NA/N- Buckle up friends, things are changing right. Now.

A few weeks passed since then, and everything was going smooth as it possibly could, considering Mark still was rather silent, and Taeyong and Doyoung were still not best friends, but Tao cleared things up with Johnny, and he was back at the “best friend” status with Kris, no matter how much it hurt to say that because he knew it meant he was the one Kris cared about the most. 

It was nearing October which meant that this year’s season was almost over, urging them to win the last match, which was against a prestigious private school. 

It was in a few weeks meaning they had endless practices as the match would determine who would win this season, and they didn’t want to lose, well settle for a mere 2nd place. 

Tao still met Sehun on occasions but spent a lot of time hanging out with Kris. It helped the team spirit he noticed. He was able to communicate with the whole team and discuss tactics thoroughly with Kris, who he believed was the most skilled player besides himself. Maybe his feelings towards him had a saying in it, he wasn’t sure though, because he knows the others thought the same. He didn’t really want to dwell in that thought as he knew he’d lose that fight. Feelings always played a bias in such matters. Everyone who has gone through a breakup knows that.

After you break apart and all romantic feelings disappear you see them for who they really are, not the persona that you’ve created in the blindness of love and put on a pedestal, but the human being behind that. You see all the flaws and mistakes as glowing markers. Mistakes glorified for you to be able to fall out of love with them, by seeing the mistakes they’re made of. 

Tao knows that once he’s fallen out of love with Kris he’ll finally see him for who he is, see his flaws thoroughly, even though he already knows what Kris is like, or believes he knows who he is. To Tao, he’s a guy who hides his true feelings and thoughts and whose loyalty is a mystery. 

Is he loyal to his friends? Family? Himself? Tao likes to pretend that he knows where it lies even if he’s proven wrong over and over again by the fact that Kris has been hiding things from him and left out matters that were important. He likes to pretend that Kris’ loyalty lies with him, though he deep inside knows it doesn’t. 

If it really did, why couldn’t they work out? Why would they keep getting into fights every single week? Why couldn’t they move as one? 

"Why are you not asking me who the person is?” Kris asked as they walked home one evening. It was almost dark, and the street lights lit up their way as Tao stared at him with confused eyes “Who?” he asked as they kept on walking under the yellow light

"Who Johnny kissed” Kris elaborated and Tao let out a soft hum. He didn’t answer immediately and Kris watched him as they walked towards their street, only their footsteps to be heard. 

Tao shrugged in a loose manner “I don’t know, I don’t really care. If he doesn’t want to know, what does it matter if I do?” Tao glanced at Kris, not sure if he was actually looking for an answer from the other or not. For a moment he thought no answer would come, just for a moment.

"Thought you might want to” his answer sounded 

"Do you want me to?” Tao couldn’t help but blurt out. He froze realizing what he had said.

The question also caught Kris off guard, who frankly didn’t know what to answer. Did he want Tao to know? How much does he know about Johnny? Does he know his preference yet? Or is he oblivious about that still? 

"I don’t know” Kris muttered, and Tao hadn’t realized he had held his breath, till he breathed out at that moment. He could sense the seriousness of the words, heavy and lingering with pure confusion as well. 

One time Kris’ thoughts came out of hiding. One time where Tao really understood what he felt, but didn’t understand the meaning of the words still. 

"Then, don’t tell me” Tao soft voice sounded, and Kris locked eyes with him, but Tao broke their eye contact for a moment but spoke “I trust you” while regaining eye contact with him “You’re the one who’s the closest to me, and I trust you to know now what to tell me and what not” he pauses for a moment and ran a hand through his bangs, “You said it yourself. If I have any questions, you’ll give the answer, and that isn’t a question to which I’m seeking the answer”

Kris’ heart skipped a beat, and he didn’t like it. It shouldn’t act that way, and he knew that and if they earlier had been walking so close their shoulders would touch from time to time, Kris made sure to put enough distance between them so that wouldn’t happen

"Thank you” he heard himself blurt out and the expression on Tao’s face told him he didn’t know why he thanked him, Kris didn’t know either, so he didn’t answer. They continued walking in silence, both replaying what had been said 

"Why don’t you ask for the same from me?” Tao asked, causing Kris to look at him, almost coming to a stop, but Tao kept walking slowly down the street, so Kris kept walking, making sure they were walking side by side

"For what?” 

"What you promised” Tao answered, not looking at Kris, but staring ahead, Kris didn’t answer so Tao continued “About asking questions and answering them honestly” he took in a deep breath, turning to look at Kris, stopping to really get a throughout look at him 

"Why didn’t you ask me to do the same for you?” His eyes were searching for an answer in Kris’ eyes, which gave him no answer, no hint, no “Because I love”, no hidden agenda was visible, and it stirred in his stomach, a growing dark feeling making him turn from the other to stop himself from pleading for an answer.

As he was turning away an answer could be heard loud and clear “Because I trust you” and even though it wasn’t what he hoped to hear, it still was an answer that caused his heart to skip a beat, and him to hesitate for a moment before turning back to look at the taller who averted his eyes for a moment before elaborating “I know you’ll tell whatever is on your mind when you’re ready. I don’t ask of you to do the same for me because I know I’ve hurt you and I want you to trust me again” He paused for a moment, visibly gathering his thoughts “I know one day you’ll do the same for me, whether it’s in a month or years away, I don’t mind” 

It took all strength Tao had to not cry at the words. It took all he had to not tell everything that’s been going on because now he no longer just believed but was sure that Kris’ loyalty was with Tao.

The sincerity in his eyes when he spoke, the confidence in his voice, he couldn’t have misheard, nor misunderstood it. 

Kris, for now, was his even if only platonic, and that was enough for him to feel content.

"I love you” he wanted to tell him, and for a moment he thought he had spoken it out loud by the way Kris was looking at him; eyes wide in shock, brows furrowed, and lips parted a bit. 

It took him a while to understand it was because tears were streaming down his face “Tao?” his voice sounded, as his hands were wiping his tears away, leaving hot marks on Tao’s face with his touch. He closed his eyes and felt his body move towards the taller, head leaning on his shoulder. 

His arms made their way around his broad shoulders, as he cried into Kris’ shirt who was standing in shock, but embraced Tao in his arms in a comforting manner “Thank you” Tao sobbed into Kris’ shirt, and he knew Kris knew what meant by the way his hand placed itself in his locks, comforting him, silently telling him “It’s okay” 

He couldn’t see Kris’ soft smile, but he could feel how the taller leaned his head on his. 

Tao’s hands pulled the taller closer unconsciously, never wanting to let him go, never wanting to let him go again. He finally realized how much he had missed the other, how he had missed his warm embrace, even if it wasn’t filled with the same feelings as Tao’s desperate hold on him was.

How could he have distanced himself from the older like that? How could he have left him? When he trusted Tao, and accepted him? 

He didn’t have to say sorry, he knew Kris could feel his apology, just as he could feel his forgiveness. 

Oh, how he wished they instead of being soul-mates as friends, were soulmates as lovers. 

"Tao” the voice of their coach sounded, and Tao turned to face the man as he was packing his bag in the locker room the day before the last match “Yes sir?” he spoke “Where’s your away-jacket?” the boy stared dumbfounded “What do you mean?” 

"I was going through our uniform from the last match, and I couldn’t find your away-jacket, do you know where it might be?” 

It took Tao a minute to figure where it might be, but once he figured out he let a not so subtle curse “So?” the coach urged, and Tao nodded “I know where it is, I’ll have it for the match tomorrow, I promise” 

The coach nodded and left, and Tao had to find a way to get the jacket back.

He took his phone and threw someone a quick text, and waited, while gathering his things, for the other to reply, expecting a fast reply as always, but for minutes nothing happened, and he left the locker room as the last person. 

Kris had left as soon as he was done, saying he had plans, so the walk home was rather slow and silent. 

Everyone had been quick to leave the locker room earlier filled with nerves about tomorrow’s match, and Tao can’t deny he feels restless as well. Every part of his body is tingling, his fingers keep fixing the strap of his bag, and taking out his phone to see no new messages on the lock screen. 

He unlocks his phone and scrolls through his Instagram feed, liking pictures on auto, and a bit too late he realizes that one of the pictures he liked was Sehun’s. 

It was a picture of him and a group of other guys, possibly his friends hanging out, all wearing masks over their lower face, making it unable for Tao to identify them “Is this why he hasn’t answered me yet?” 

He decided to let it go, and wait for Sehun’s reply later that day, but as day was beginning to turn into night, and still no reply, Tao was getting anxious. He needed the jacket tomorrow, how could he as the captain show up without it? 

As a last resort, he decided to call the other. 

"Hey” a soft voice sounded on the other side, and Tao didn’t need to see him know that he was smiling “Did you get my message?” Tao asked, too tense to answer with meaningless small talk “Message?” A slurred answer sounded, and Tao could feel he was getting more and more impatient, it’s almost 10, and he has to get a good night’s sleep for tomorrow “I need my jacket” he explained “Oh yeah! Your team jacket! You’re playing tomorrow right?” 

"Yea-” Tao was answering, but before stopping himself, hearing Sehun’s friends call for the latter in the background “Sehun, who are you talking to?” 

"Is it the loverboy~” another voice sounded teasingly “Shut up” Sehun shot at the culprits, yet Tao couldn’t help but smile. It was his first time experiencing a drunk a Sehun while sober “I’m sorry about that, I’m just gonna find a quieter place” he apologized, but raised his voice at the last words, meant for his friends “It’s fine” Tao spoke, even though it wasn’t “Right~” Sehun’s voice sounded, and Tao let out a soft chuckle “But it’s tomorrow right?” 

"Mhm,” Tao answered “It’s against my school isn’t it?” Sehun asked, but Tao sensed the obvious teasing “Yeah, watch me win over your team” Tao shot back “You bet I will, I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your text, I’m out with some friends” 

"I know, I saw on IG, but will you be able to watch the game tomorrow, if you’re out tonight?” 

"Of course! I’ll go home soon, and then rise tomorrow with no hangover, and come to you with your jacket, and you won’t be able to see that I’ve been drinking” he rambled, and Tao’s smile grew wider “You’re an idiot” he commented “Probably, but you’re my friend, you chose to accept this idiot” his voice sounded with a laughter. 

"Right, but you’ll have my jacket for me tomorrow? Before the game?” 

"Mhm. Yup, I’ll have it ready for you” 

"Thank you” 

"Anything for you” Sehun replied if only Tao knew what he meant by those words. 

The next day when they arrived at the private school in their bus and got out, sure enough, a person made his way towards the team, face, and body language rid of anything that could give away what he did yesterday. 

"Isn’t that Sehun?” Baekhyun’s voice could be heard from somewhere behind Tao, gesturing towards the approaching guy. The team which had ignored him started to turn their heads, some not caring and moving towards the locker room meant for them “Mhm” Tao could only answer “He goes to this school” 

Yuta and Sicheng’s “Ahh” could be heard. Kris who was beside Tao pretended he didn’t hear what was happening, at least he pretended that he didn’t care, but then he went to greet the guy, and Kris felt a wave of anger inside. He could hear the others whisper, see how Tao waved happily at the other, and how Sehun greeted him with a smile. 

He left before anyone noticed anything weird was up with him before anything could sense that he wasn’t oblivious. Johnny went with him, causing a chain reaction, with the others leaving as well.

"What were you talking with Sehun about?” Baekhyun asked Tao as soon as he entered the room, “He had my jacket” he answered gesturing the jacket in his hand. 

The words cut deep in Kris, and he locked eyes with Johnny instantly, who gave him a nod to a silent question.

A hand placed itself on Kris’ shoulder for a moment, giving it a comforting shake before disappearing again. 

He wished it helped, but it couldn’t change the fact that Oh Sehun was Tao’s mystery friend. Johnny was right, what was he gonna do? 

He turned to look at Tao who was happily talking with the others, as they were teasing him, and Kris wondered why Johnny wasn’t joining in, surely they would be suspicious as he’s always close to Tao.

The other only shrugged at Kris’ confused expression and continued to change into his uniform. 

Even though it was the finale match Kris wasn’t that nervous, no nerves were pressing, and he felt focused and determined, he wasn’t sure why, to begin with, but later it hit him. 

Tao though was so nervous Kris feared it would affect the team. His whole body was restless, softly pacing in place and shaking his hands trying to get rid of that tingling sensation “Stop” Kris commanded, gripping his wrist right as they were about to step onto the field, standing in line ready to be called to play. The youngers head shot up and his wide eyes stared into Kris’. The older’s stern look had him frozen, but the touch of his hand had his body burning up “Sorry” Tao muttered, breaking their eye contact, expecting Kris to loosen his grip on his wrist, but he didn’t, and Tao couldn’t get himself to comment on it, and let it stay there, denying the need to take ahold of Kris’ hand, feeling his fingers interlaced with his.

Unconsciously he twisted his hand, their fingers touching, sending a spark throughout Tao’s body, heart beating too fast.

He didn’t dare to look at Kris, scared to his reaction, but as he didn’t sense any disapproval, he continued, and opened his palm, and then the next move was in Kris’ hands. His heart was so loud he was sure he wouldn’t be able to hear the team be called.

Maybe it was his imagination, but he could swear that in the moment they were called fingers were softly interlacing them with Tao’s, but before they could, the team was moving onto the field, and Tao’s heart and mind wasn’t there. 

"What an end of the season for Eastern S high school” it sounded from the speakers as the match ended. The group ran and emerged in a group hug, celebrating their success, but when Tao locks eyes with Kris he can’t help but avert his eyes as he feels his face burn up. That smile Kris shot him, had him even more out of breath than the game itself.

"That was ing amazing” Lucas let out, as everyone was pulling away “Watch your ing language” Baekhyun shot at him, causing the team to laugh, even Taeyong and Doyoung was being friendly with each other, well as friendly as those two can, giving acknowledging pats on each other's shoulder. 

Tao turned to Johnny, embracing him in joy and when he let go, he saw Kris make his way over “See? No reason to be nervous” he spoke with a smile, slinging an arm over Tao’s shoulders, running his free hand through his hair, still looking at Tao “Yeah” the younger agreed “Thanks” he gave Kris a small smile, which was returned “No problem” he spoke and pulled Tao closer to him. 

"How could you be so focused?” Tao asked Kris, as they started to go off the field. At the question Johnny’s chuckle could be heard, causing Tao to stare at him in confusion, but he only shrugged, sending a smirk to Kris, who answered with a glare 

"What?” Tao asked, shifting his eyes from one to the other, as neither would answer. Kris ended up answering with a shake of his head “Johnny is just an idiot”

"True” 

Johnny let out an offended gasp, as the two laughed “The hell?”, the two ignored him, and kept walking, till they spotted a familiar guy walking towards them, and Tao felt the arm around his shoulders loosen up, then tighten its hold, before loosening again

"Hey” Tao greeted Sehun, who threw him a wave “I told I’d win” Tao teased “Did you? Don’t remember that” Sehun threw back, pretending to be looking for that conversation “You er” 

"Guess you did say that, congratulations” he threw Tao a smile, and Tao felt the arm still around his shoulders tighten its hold, which didn’t go unnoticed by Sehun. He glanced at the two standing on both side of Tao “Well played” he complimented them, but cocky as Johnny he is he shot back “Thanks, but would’ve played better if there was actually a challenge” 

It caused Kris to snort, and he tried hard to hold back his laughter, Tao as well, and maybe Sehun would have been more offended if it wasn’t for that

"Well, probably, but I guess Tao trained you well, seeing as you don’t too bad” this caused Tao to chuckle out loud, seeing as Johnny’s face was frozen in shock. 

"Motherer” Johnny cursed in English under his breath, which didn’t go unheard by Kris, who snickered silently 

"I’ll see you around” Sehun spoke, and gave a small wave, “See you" and the three went to the locker room, listening to Johnny rant on about how was great even before Tao became captain. The two friends only watched him, before walking to their lockers so they could go shower.

"Hey, how do you know Sehun?” Kris asked in the bus on the way home “Our fathers are business partners, so we hang out a lot” Tao answered, and there was a silence between them as Tao debated with himself to ask something that had bothered him for a while. Every time he thought about the moment before they were called to the field, his hand started burning up, causing his heart to speed up. 

Maybe he had just imagined it, but he wouldn’t know unless he asked, but what if had just imagined it and asked, what would happen? But what about how his grip tightened when they were talking with Sehun? 

He glanced at the older who was scrolling through his phone “Hey Kris” he softly spoke “Mhm?” the other responded, turning to him “Can I ask you something?” why was his heart beating so loud? 

Kris gave him a soft smile “Always” he spoke, and Tao’s heart skipped a beat, before speeding up again “Back when…” he started out, words getting stuck in his throat, as the other kept his focus on him, so he averted his eyes “Before we were called out” he turned to face Kris again “Did you….” the words got stuck again, as he visualized the calm face in front of him, turn to confusion and disgust “Did you…” he sank the lump in his throat and turned away from Kris dismissing it with a “Never mind” and staring out of the window.

He watched as they stepped out of the bus, and noticed a tall guy walking beside Tao.

"Hey" Tao greeted as walked towards him and Sehun gave him a smile and small wave, shortly glancing behind him to see the tall guy subtly glaring at him "That must be him," he thought, and watched as he left.

When he came to congratulate Tao for winning, he didn't expect Kris and another tall guy to be hanging around him. The two seemed visibly tense, at least to Sehun, though Tao didn't seem to sense anything, as always. 

Kris might be taller, but Sehun is closer to him, in every way, closer than Kris will ever be. The other tall guy might have the charm, but Sehun knew why he had shot that remark. Jealousy. 

"This is gonna be fun," he thought, pretending as though he didn't want to rip the arm around Tao's shoulders off.