Tao was sweating a lot.

He was running down the field, wondering what the hell to do. Both teams had 1 goal, and it was hard to get openings to score again, with only 2 minutes left of the game.

Even so, they kept running and passing the ball and finally, Tao saw an opening, a very small chance.

"WINWIN!" He yelled on top of his lungs and caught the attention of another Chinese student, Winwin or Sicheng as he's really called, played the ball to Tao, who kicked it up in the air, and used his movements from his wushu training to hit the ball.

When he landed, it was if the world was in slow motion. The ball went in and the audience cheered.

He stood in disbelief for a moment. It was a shot in the dark, but he did it

"TAO!" A cheerful voice sounded, and someone hung on his back, Kris.

"THAT WAS INCREDIBLE TAO" that sentence made Tao smile even more than he did over their victory. The whole team soon surrounded Tao, and Kris lifted Tao upon his shoulders, taking him around the field, the team following them chanting "TAO! TAO! TAO!" in joy, as Tao sat on Kris' shoulders. looking down upon them.

He felt incredible, he felt overly happy. 

They went into the locker room, after getting the trophy and the team praised Tao for his kick

"It reminded me of Kung fu soccer" Johnny spoke.

"Kong fu soccer?" Tao asked with a laugh "Yeah you know the movie". 

Tao put on his shirt "I know" Johnny, and he was, not as close as him and Kris, but close. He knew Johnny used to live in America, and moved here because of his parents, and he knew Johnny missed America. "I miss the food, the sport, and my friends!" he spoke one time.

"Good thing we have a wushu master on our team. You could make it big Tao" Taeyong said, and gave Tao a nod,

"You think?" Tao asked as he tied his shoes on the bench.

The whole team was in the locker room. They left together, mostly. They were a team, a family, and "-family means no one gets left behind". Tao remembers Ten saying it once after they'd left him behind, well forgotten him after practice 

"Yeah, really, just need some work on the technique" Taeyong replied Tao. Taeyong was that one good-looking guy that was good at everything, and if Tao hadn't been in love with Kris, well he would've loved Taeyong.

The weird thing was that he never had a girlfriend. Tao wasn't even sure if Taeyong even talked to any. He usually saw him hanging out with ten, or a person who was equally attractive to Taeyong, called Jaehyun.

Tao never really put more thought into it, it was not his business after all. 

"ANYWAY!" The captain, Chanyeol spoke, standing on the bench as if he wasn't tall enough Tao thought

"Who's coming to the celebration tonight?"

Everyone cheered "YES!" and couldn't wait to get to the BBQ.

It's become a tradition to the team. You can't really say no. It's been that way since Tao joined as a freshman, and it's been so even before then.

Tao smiled as he and Kris left the cheering locker-room. Even with the door closed, it was still possible to hear the loud chanting of "BBQ".

"I'm really amazed Tao, you did well" Kris spoke, and no matter what kind of praise he got from Kris, it would always make Tao blush 

"I KNOW RIGHT?" Tao yelled and jumped up and down. He couldn't stop, he was so happy.

He had managed to secure them a win against YG High, and it had been rumored that they had a great team this year.

"Calm down Taozi," Kris said with a chuckle, and Tao smiled at his nickname, he loved hearing Kris say it. 

"Sorry. You did well too Kris, really" he paused for a moment "Maybe when we go to college, you'll become captain", he glanced at his best friend.

"Nah. You will" Kris replied.

He had always thought that Tao was the better of the two, even if Kris liked sport more than Tao.

They walked down the hallway, and Tao told Kris he wouldn't be the captain in college since wouldn't be playing in college.

When Kris asked why, Tao just gave a shrug and said he'd want to focus on his studies when really it was his father's order.

They joked around until SHE came and jumped onto Kris back

"Congrats with the win today babe" Tao's smile faltered immediately when he saw the couple together.

"Thanks, it was Tao who made us win though" Kris spoke and placed the girl onto the ground again, and the 3 of them walked down the hallway again.

Somehow Tao had the feeling she didn't like him. He didn't understand why, but well he didn't like her either, so it was mutual. Though the only reason for Tao's dislike was because she was Kris' girlfriend and actually quite a horrible person now that tao thought about it

"Yeah I know, but you were the star too," she said and gave Kris a smile, while they held hands.

Tao let the couple fool around, and slowed down for a bit, not wanting to hang around them too much, knowing he'd roll his eyes all the way to his brain if he did.

"You quitting the club?" A voice sounded behind him. 

He turned around and spotted Johnny, walking close behind him.

"Oh Johnny, yeah when I start in college," He said and pretended he didn't hear the make-out session behind him, and that he wasn't hurt at all.

He didn't even want to look that way. It'd hurt too much

"Why? You're really good, and girls love you!" Johnny said when they started walking again, leaving Kris and his girlfriend behind.

"They do? I haven't noticed" Tao said, he really enjoyed talking to Johnny, he was so easy to talk to, and he always took his mind away from Kris, though Johnny might not know it. He was just so chill it actually spread. 

"They do" Johnny confirmed "You just don't notice because you only focus on Wushu and soccer"

They stepped outside and Tao embraced the spring air.

"True. Well, it's not like I'm in need for someone right now" He muttered, mostly because he already had someone he loved, who he couldn't have, but Johnny didn't need to know that.

Thank god Hanahaki wasn't a real disease

"Tao?" Johnny let out, and just then did Tao realize he had said it out loud.

Johnny looked at him concerned and Tao cleared his throat.

"Okay," he started out "I might have someone I like," he admitted, and Johnny let out that awful sound of surprise

"Oh my god!! Our little Taozi has someone he likes!" he blurted out and placed an arm around Tao's shoulders.

"Yeah, no. It's not a good thing, cause I don't have a chance" Tao said, looking onto the ground.

"Pffft, of course, you do! You are you! Tao the soccer player!" Johnny excitedly announced.

Tao realized he really liked talking to Johnny, because of the things he says.

"But same though" Johnny spoke, and Tao stared at him in confusion.

"I'm also happy Hanahaki isn't a real thing" he clarified "Sounds ing awful and so many would've died!". Silence settled between them, but it was comfortable, until.

"Jesus, that couple behind us is so cheesy I might start ing puking cheese!" Johnny paused for a moment "Might as well call it Cheesy-Haki disease" he joked, and Tao doubled over in laughter.

"You know, I can hear you Johnny" Kris answered from behind, with a laugh, and with an eye roll.

"I really feel like puking" Johnny said to Tao. He was glad he had Johnny to talk to, even if Johnny didn't know about Tao's secret.

"You're just jealous I have someone, Johnny!". Kris kissed his girlfriend goodbye and joined Tao and Johnny, walking on the other side of Tao

"But Johnny's right, the girls love you too," he said with a smile. 
"Then how come no one has asked me out?" Tao asked 

"Why does that matter if you have someone you like?" Kris asked him with a chuckle and a dazzling smile. Tao's heart skipped a beat.

"because I still don't have a chance with that person," Tao answered with a pout. 
"I think he's jealous" Johnny said, well pretended to whisper, which caused Tao to roll his eyes.

"Shut up Johnny!" Tao hit his shoulder and Johnny yelled in pain, causing Kris to laugh

"! You actually have muscles!" Johnny yelled. "Of course I do! I do soccer AND Wushu! I could probably carry your sorry to the BBQ if I wanted to!"

The 3 of them joked the whole way to the restaurant and sat down together with the others. Someone they had actually taken longer than the others to arrive.

Tao sat down in front of Baekhyun, and beside Sicheng and Ten, while Kris sat together with Chanyeol and Kai, and Johnny with Yuta.

"There he is! The star of today!" Chanyeol yelled as Tao sat down, and the team clapped loudly, causing Tao to blush

"I feel flustered," he shyly spoke and looked down on the table with a light blush on his cheeks,  a hand on his heart.

"So girly" Mark jokingly muttered.

They all had an amazing time, and Kris had promised he'd pay Tao's part of the dinner because he was the MVP today, to which Tao answered

"HELL YEAH," and clapped his hands.

"Tao" Baekhyun softly called out, his chopsticks turning a few pieces of meat on the grill

"How can it be that you're so perfect but you don't have a girlfriend?" he asked. 
"I don't know" Tao answered and ate some meat, if not a lot.

"Are you perhaps...." Baekhyun leaned in close to Tao and whispered "gay?"

Tao froze immediately "No, of course, I'm not!" Tao let out with a laugh, trying to laugh it off.

He looked around the table, in fear someone might have heard them.

No one knew, and no one should ever know he's gay. That is for now.

Tao did sometimes think it's weird they didn't ask him the question more often. Like, have you ever met a guy, more obsessed with Gucci?

He even admitted one time, that his heart was sometimes like a teenage girl, like how even?

"Then how come you don't have one?" Ten jumped in with.

He must have heard them, but who were they kidding, it's Ten, he's the one with the tea.

"I don't know, haven't had time? Not looking for one?" Tao shrugged
"Come on Tao! Everyone is looking for one!" Taeyong joined in, sitting beside Baekhyun.  

"I don't feel like loving someone for no reason right now, but maybe she'll come" Tao shrugged again. More like HE, he thought.

Tao had been noticing someone from their team, being a bit more like Tao, being gay, he means. He thought maybe Yuta was gay as well, and right now he's quiet, not talking to Johnny or Mark.

It could be nothing.

"So, Tao are you coming over in the break?" Kris asked as they walked out of the restaurant after they were done. 

"Yeah, of course, wouldn't miss it," Tao said with a smile.

It had been a tradition for them to hang out in the summer vacation, or break, as they called it.

It's been like that since they were kids. He didn't remember how it started, but he's glad he and Kris were friends.

The wind that passed them as they walked, seemed to calm him down, after the loud chaos from the BBQ. 

He glanced at Kris for a moment and wondered when he would be able to tell him. He had already tried, believe it or not, but then SHE came and said she had something to tell Kris, and of course Tao said "Just go with her" with a smile that covered his pain.

Maybe it's better this way. Maybe Tao should just move on.

"What are you thinking about?" Kris asked and snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Nothing" he shrugged with a smile

"Just wondering whether or not I did my homework for Monday" his comment caused Kris to chuckle "Same- oh she's calling, is it okay?" Kris asked with an apologetic expression on his face, as his phone started ringing. His girlfriend

"Pick it up already and catch up with me later" Tao answered with a forced smile and walked away from Kris who greeted his girlfriend's call with a soft voice.

It annoyed Tao, that Kris couldn't be like that with him. Well, he hadn't told Kris yet, so it's probably his own fault. Who even said that Kris would accept him?

"Hey Tao!" a voice called him from behind, and Tao turned to see Johnny trying to catch up with him.

"What's up Johnny?" he greeted him as they started walking together

"You're one right? A gay?" Johnny blurted out, causing Tao to stop walking. His whole body froze, and he didn't know what to say 

"Chill Tao, I'm not gonna tell anyone" Johnny assured him. Tao glanced at Johnny who was looking chill as always, with a comforting smile on his face 

"H-how did you know?" Tao croaked out and started walking again, more on edge than before.

"Yuta told me" Johnny answered.
"Oh, so he is gay too, thought so" So he was right.
"Yeah, but before you ask, I'm not" Johnny stated "But I'm not gonna tell anyone" he promised, and they continued to walk in silence, a few comments and jokes were thrown in here and there.

Kris still hadn't caught up with them yet, and every once in a while, Tao would glance behind them hoping to see his friend catching up to them. 

"Does Kris know?" Johnny asked, noticing it.

Tao shook his head "No," he started out, and looked at the ground, "and I think it's better that way, even if he's my best friend" He continued and ignored the pain in his heart.

It's foolish. It's foolish and dumb to be so in love 

"Huh" Johnny let out, and Tao turned to him in confusion.

"You and Yuta are in the same position then. In love with your best friend?" 

Tao's eyes widened in shock.
"H-how?" 
"Come on Tao!" Johnny spoke "I can see it! It's kind of obvious- to me that is" 

It was silent between them for a moment.
"So Yuta loves Sicheng?" 
"Yup, but he's afraid to tell him because he doesn't know if he's gay" Johnny started out. Tao liked how chill and open Johnny was about this

"He's pretty sure he's straight, and he keeps rejecting his touch, so he's silently pining" he finished with a shrug
"Well, maybe Sicheng is just scared?" Tao voiced "Or uncomfortable to question his uality, or maybe Yuta hasn't observed Sicheng enough" 
"Observed?" Johnny questioned 

"Yeah, that's how you notice these things" Tao started out and began explaining "Like Yuta was kind of obvious. Not only does he throw heart eyes at Sicheng, but well, he keeps hanging around him like a queer boy"

"And don't get me started on me, it's obvious" Tao finished with a chuckle, and Johnny nodded in agreement "True" 

"Maybe Yuta didn't notice because love makes blind" Tao muttered

"Well, then you might have overlooked Kris" Johnny's comment caused Tao to chuckle and shake his head

"No, trust me, I know he's not gay, really" 

"Then what about me?" Johnny jokingly asked, and stepped in front of Tao, making him laugh again

"Idiot! It's not that easy!" he laughed "And you said you're not gay right?" 

"What if I lied?" Tao rolled his eyes at his friend.
"Johnny you're not the type to lie, but if you wanna know, then experiment," he said with a smile.

They kept walking in silence, and Tao could sense that Johnny had something he wanted to ask

He let out a sigh "Just ask already". 

Johnny was silent, and let out a deep breath "Is it okay?" he asked, still hesitant.
Tao shrugged, "Sure". 

"How did you find out, you're gay?"

Tao smiled softly. Of course, that was the question. He didn't actually mind it, he knew Johnny wouldn't judge him

"Not sure, I think I realized it when the guys started talking about Taeyeon instead of Mingyu. Well at least I found out when I started to crush on Kris" He answered with a shrug.

"Speaking of him, where is he?" Johnny questioned and glanced around.

"I'm sure I saw him at the BBQ not too long ago," he muttered, and Tao shrugged again. 

"I don't know, probably at his girlfriend's house... his phone rang a while ago, and since he hasn't caught up with us yet, he must be there" 

"Oh," Johnny let out "You okay?" he asked, seeing how Tao was looking at the ground, no smile on his lips anymore.
Tao just shrugged. He didn't really wanna focus on Kris right now

"Yeah, gotta move on I guess" he spoke with a strained smile, and Johnny softly nodded.

"Well I have to go this way" he soon announced, pointing to a road on his left

"Oh okay, see you on Monday then," Tao said with a wave

"Yeah" Johnny let out. 

Somehow Tao couldn't seem to walk away and neither did Johnny.

To be honest, Tao felt really broken inside right now but he's relieved that at least Johnny and Yuta know.

It lifted a piece of the burden that had fallen onto his shoulders a long time ago.

"I-" Tao was cut off as Johnny suddenly pulled him into a hug.

For some reason, be it, his sadness, be it because someone accepts him, he started sobbing into Johnny's shoulder.

Johnny held him tight and Tao felt safe in his arms

"It's okay Tao" his calm voice reassured.

His arms held him even tighter, and Tao's own arms slowly s around Johnny's neck and held him tight too.

There was something about Johnny, that Tao couldn't have with Kris. He could actually be himself around Johnny, at least now he really could. Even if they weren't best friends, he still felt close to Johnny, and he can be honest with him. He's not scared of rejection, as he is with Kris, which is probably because he loves Kris. 

"It's hard right?" Johnny let out, his voice shaking, and Tao felt tears fall onto his shoulder.

"To pretend that nothing is wrong around the one you love and pretend to be someone you're not" he continued, and Tao nodded and continued to cry and hold Johnny tight.

Johnny's head on his shoulder was comforting, and it felt right. It was soothing,  and every touch made him feel calm. It was as if a brother hugged him

"It hurts right?" Johnny let out again, and Tao softly croaked out"Ye-yeah", as Johnny Tao's hair.

"It's okay Tao, it's all gonna be okay" 
Tao nodded and slowly let go of Johnny.

"You can always talk to me, okay?" He gave Tao a reassuring smile, and even though he tried to hide it, Tao could see his pain and the few tears that fell from his eyes.

"Thanks, Johnny... remember to take care of yourself" 
"Yeah.. I'll see you on Monday" Johnny replied, and walked home, while Tao continued his long walk home, hoping Kris would catch up... but he never did.

He kept thinking about how hurt Johnny looked, was he the same as Tao? How did he know exactly what he felt?