A/N: Yeah I know, it's been over a month since I said I'd soon have an update on the story. I'm sorry for that, the deadline I had to reach was the 17th of February, so I still wasn't too focused on the story back then. I had a hard time making a beginning that flowed well but I think I've managed to accomplish that now. I hope you're still eager to read the story because soon secrets will be out, and drama will ensure. 

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Kris was gone all January and February but somehow it wasn’t all too bad. Tao still had a part of Kris with him even if it wasn’t the same. 

Every time he looked at the bracelet, he’d smile but that familiar longing would come right back. Sometimes they would text each other but it wasn’t much and it wasn’t the same. 

 

Tao tried to ignore the empty space in his life and began to hang out with Sehun and his friends more. He began to feel comfortable around them and began to see the club as a place for him.  Sehun had given him time to move on, even if Tao wasn’t sure he had yet. 

Still, Sehun let him be and stayed by his side. He still held him tight and loved him fully. 

 

 

 

Tao stepped inside the apartment. All of his friends were there, happily talking with drinks in their hands; A sweet contrast to their reality. 

 

It was strange, and there was an uneasy feeling stirring in his stomach, yet he smiled at the fact that everyone was gathered, all past drama forgotten. 

If only it was like this.

Sehun was there with him as well, holding his hand as they greeted Tao’s friends.

Tao turned around and met Kris with a woman by his side. She was pretty and had a soft smile on her face.

Something stirred in Tao’s stomach again, as Kris greeted “It’s good to see you Tao” with a smile, holding the woman’s hand. 

"It’s good to see you too Kris” Tao replied with a smile as well, yet he didn’t feel happy. His eyes landed on the woman, 

"Oh yeah,” Kris spoke, noticing his curious gaze, with a proud smile on his face. 

Tao didn’t like it, and he didn’t like the words he spoke.

"Tao this is my fiance Sh-” 

 

-and then Tao woke up, heaving for his breath. Fear stirred in his body, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again.

The dream had been so realistic it terrified him, yet his friends were all happy.

He didn’t know if he hated the idea of it being real. 

 

He tried to calm his beating heart down, pulling his knees to his chest, and placing his head on them.

He hoped it was just another bad dream, caused by how much he had been worrying about Kris since he came back.

 

It was late April, and in just a few months they’d graduate from High school and move onto college. 

Everything was fine, but something about Kris had changed. He was still the same laid-back guy but something had him on edge. His eyes rarely lit up now, his large steps were now cautious. 

He grabbed his phone and checked the time. It was a bit earlier than he usually woke up but it didn’t matter. 

He unlocked his phone and sent Sehun a “good morning”.

A response came almost immediately 

 

Sehun

Why are you up already?

 

Tao’s heart fluttered, and a smile crept onto his lips. He liked Sehun’s worry. No, he adored it. 

 He wasn’t sure what to reply though. 

Should he tell Sehun the truth? That the mere thought of Kris marrying someone scared him?

No, that’s not fair. Sehun has dealt with him talking about Kris for so long. 

It’s not fair when Sehun has waited for Tao to accept him for so long.

 

Tao

Had a bad dream

Sehun

Need me to come and comfort you?

 

Tao’s smile grew 

Tao

No, you can comfort me tonight

 

He threw his phone on the bed and got up.

After he finished getting dressed, he walked to his mirror, brushing a hand through his messy hair. 

It was dull. The black bangs almost fell into his eyes, and did nothing but make him look pale and scary.

What if he bleached it just like Sehun’s hair? 

What would it look like?

Would he look like an idol? Or would his hair just look like hay? 

He messed up his hair again, brushing away the thought as well, and walked out of his room.

 

When he got downstairs, his parents were silently eating breakfast at the table. 

"Morning” he greeted them as he sat down across from them. 

"Morning Taozi,” his mother greeted with a smile. 

"You’re up early,” his father commented without even looking at him.

 Usually, his father would already have left by the time Tao woke up “Couldn’t sleep” Tao gave as a loose explanation. 

 

"What are your plans for today?” his father asked 

"Hanging out with Sehun after school” he softly spoke, and his father nodded “You’ve been hanging out with him often lately, what happened to Kris?” he asked “Did I miss something?” 

Tao shook his head

"No, we’re still friends, he’s just… busy lately. We barely have time going to school together lately” he shrugged, avoiding his father’s eyes. 

He’s not that close to his father anyway, so why discuss it with him? 

 

"I’m sure it’s nothing,” his father replied with a small smile, then getting up to leave for work. 

"Will you be home tonight?” He asked Tao from the door. 

"No” a low answer sounded “I’m staying over” 

"You do know you’re still welcome here right?”

His father’s voice wasn’t cold, yet Tao’s blood ran cold at his voice. His throat closed up and he couldn’t move, even if he wanted to. Perhaps it was the words he spoke more than the way he had said it.

He knew his father wasn’t happy with him staying with friends that often. He wanted Tao to stay on his path, never straying too much from it. 

 

Would it be different if it was his boyfriend he was visiting? 

If his father knew that’s why, would he change his words? 

Or would he make Tao break up with Sehun, and ground him till he and Wendy were married? 

"Yes,” Tao managed to croak out as his father left. 

His mother didn’t say anything but placed a comforting hand on his. She didn’t have to say anything for Tao to know what she wanted to say. 

That his father is rough with him because he’s worried. That his father still loves him, even if he doesn’t show it. 

 

"Have a good day at school Taozi. Tell Sehun I said hi” she spoke as she got up, also ready to leave for work. Tao didn’t say anything but nodded at her words. 

He didn’t believe today would be a good day. 

When it was finally time for himself to leave, he grabbed his things and met Kris outside. 

 

"Morning” The taller greeted him with a small smile, but his eyes were empty. Tao could fake a smile, and tell himself it was nothing, yet he would never believe it.

"Morning” He replied nonetheless, happy to be with Kris again. 

 

It was silent between them as they walked, which was normal, yet this silence was heavy and Tao didn’t know why.

Maybe he did but didn’t want to accept the reason. 

Perhaps because it was Kris. Perhaps because he wanted to deny how much his best friend had changed, but just by looking at him now, he could see how much he had changed. 

 

He tried to act as relaxed as possible, yet he was stiff from head to toe. His steps carried a purpose that wasn’t there before. 

He used to walk without care. 

Even if he had a plan for the future, it didn’t stop him from making mistakes, from slowing down and living his life, yet now his steps carried a soft cautiousness. 

 

Tao didn’t know how to break the suffocating silence between them. Usually, Kris would do that, and Tao hated that he didn’t. 

He turned his eyes to the pavement, hoping it’d distract him from Kris.

 

He couldn’t stop thinking about him though. 

 

He was the same rebelling and impulsive guy, yet it was as though something had him tied. He was still relaxed and studious but something about him was stiff, stiffer than when he was seeing his last girlfriend in secret. 

 

Something had Kris on edge, but Tao didn’t ask, didn’t know how to since they were back to normal. 

They were friends, yet it was different, and even if Tao was busy with both Sehun and school, Kris didn’t mind, never complained. 

 

Somehow, it was as though everything had gone back to the way it had always been. 

Every development and that had happened, were just temporary, and now all forgotten and left behind.

Kris didn’t even date after he came back but hung out with their friends again instead. 

 

Tao glanced at him shortly but turned his view onto the ground again.

 

The closeness they had during fall, during the Halloween party, was far away as well, reduced to nothing but a fever dream. Sometimes it came back to haunt him. How close they had been, so close to having changed their status.

 

Even if they were still friends, something had changed between them.

Tao had a boyfriend now, and Kris was different. 

No one knew how or why. 

 

Tao didn’t know if it was butterflies or anxiety churning in his stomach, as they reached the school gate.

 

They split up by Kris’ classroom with an empty “See you”, which it had been for weeks now. Tao didn’t like their shallow friendship and the secrets but knowing Kris, he’d pretend nothing was wrong. He’d keep it from Tao for as long as possible, and Tao didn’t know how to confront him. 

 

He sat at his desk, watching his friends who came smiling into the classroom.

Yuta and Sicheng were lovingly joking around as always, and Baekhyun was parting with a laughing Kai.

 

The two of them had gotten closer again, and Tao was happy for them both, mostly Baekhyun who no longer sat silently in his seat, waiting for a text that would never come. 

Now he’d actually be texting and enjoying the last months of his high school years.

 

Even if Baekhyun jokingly asked Sehun if he could introduce him to a friend, he was never serious. 

Even though he was lonely at times, he wasn’t ready to love someone again. His wound had just healed, and he didn’t want a new one just yet. Didn’t want to open up a new scar. Didn’t need it.

Luckily he had his friends by his side, and even though he hated to see how Yuta and Sicheng, Kai, and Kyungsoo were in love, he was happy for them. 

 

Johnny watched Kris walk into class with eyebrows furrowed and his head hanging low.

He didn’t ask about it, didn’t care enough to. 

He didn’t see any reason why he should meddle with Tao and Kris’ drama anymore, even if they were still friends. 

 

During the months’ Kris was gone, there was some sort of nice and calm vibe around. Tao had Sehun by his side, Mark and Hyuck were talking again, and Baekhyun was getting better. 

 

Even Johnny was getting better, getting over Tao.

 

After New Year, he and Ten grew closer. They didn’t rush themselves but decided to test the water before diving in. Neither was ready anyway, Johnny was too affected by Tao, and Ten wanted to be sure Johnny really wanted to be with him. 

 

He looked over at Kris who was deep in thought at his desk, not paying attention to his surroundings at all. Johnny should probably feel guilty for frowning at the fact that he was back.

 

While Kris was gone, Tao and Johnny weren’t really on speaking terms, neither was Doyoung and Taeyong. 

Mark began hanging out with the dreamies again, and Baekhyun began spending more time with people outside of their group.

 

It led to the group consisting of Lucas, Tao, Doyoung, Yuta, and Sicheng in the beginning. Of course, as time passed by, Johnny and Taeyong came back, and Baekhyun would join them at lunch if he didn’t have plans with others.

 

This made Johnny love what Kris’ departure had brought. Everyone could take a break from each other, focusing on their own goals. 

Johnny and Tao could work out their friendship, slowly realizing they didn’t want to lose each other. 

They could talk things through, and update each other on their lives. Tao was happy that Johnny and Ten were trying to make it work, and Johnny was happy that Tao was finally at peace again.

 

Then Kris came back, and Tao changed once again. He began worrying about Kris as usual and put Kris as his top priority instead of his friends. 

 

Of course, Sehun was Tao’s top priority but Kris was still right after. 

It annoyed Johnny, and he was okay with his decision to not help Kris anymore, not wanting to ruin Tao’s happiness. 

 

Somehow he still hated to admit that those two months had been the best months for all of them. 

With a sigh, he turned away from Kris and focused on their teacher instead.

 

Tao went to the bathroom halfway through the class, already mentally exhausted.

He put his hands on the sink, staring at himself through the mirror. He looked lifeless, so utterly lifeless, even though he should be fine. 

 

He let his eyes fall to the collar of his shirt. 

 

Everything should be fine at least. 

He’s got Sehun, who gave him the necklace he’s currently wearing. 

 

He could faintly make out the necklace underneath his shirt, and he reached out, feeling the pendant. 

 

Touching it always calmed him down. 

 

He wasn’t sure why. 

Because he got it from Sehun or because it reminded him of what’s real? 

Reminds him that the love he feels daily is real. That his life can be happy, not only pain? 

 

He turned around, resting his lower back against the sink, and he took in his surroundings. 

 

He was already feeling so disconnected from reality, because of his dream. 

He kept thinking about it, then thinking about Kris and how much he had changed. 

 

His eyes fell to the bracelet on his wrist.

Every time he looked at it, he remembered the day Kris told him he was leaving. Remembered how Kris would keep looking at it after he came back. The light that lit up in his now empty eyes. 

 

How a small smile would creep onto his lips. 

 

Even if Kris tried to hide it, Tao noticed, and wished he didn’t. 

 

He didn’t like the way Kris’ empty eyes would light up knowing he still wore the bracelet. As if it had become a small light in his dark world. 

He didn’t like how Kris had become more grey and like a walking sigh. How he began to look more and more exhausted. 

 

He let out a deep breath. “Get it together,” he muttered to himself and shook his head, trying to rid himself of his worry. 

"Don’t think about it”

He ran a hand through his hair, “It’s nothing”, and left the bathroom. 

It’s none of his business he told himself, yet a part of him believed it was. 

 

As he slandered back to his class, looking out of the windows, he bumped into another student.

"Hey Doyeon” he greeted as he noticed who it was. 

"Hey Tao” she replied, a soft smile playing on her lips as well. 

"How are you?” he asked, and put his hands in his pockets, and hoped his forced smile would hide his lifeless person

"I’m okay, you?” she started out  “You look better lately. Happier” she commented and Tao felt something churn in his stomach again. 

She didn’t notice.

 

A bitter taste lingered in the back of his throat. 

He wasn’t happier. Sure, he was better at hiding his emotions, and he had more things to make him happy, but he wasn’t sure he really was. 

"Yeah, well, we’re graduating soon,” he shrugged. 

"Yeah, it’s nerve-wracking though” She commented in an anxious but playful manner.

"It’s exciting, but also terrifying, a good kind of terrifying of course” she let out a small chuckle, and Tao couldn’t help but smile “Yeah, you’re right”

"We’re all moving on, taking different paths…” 

 

Tao thought about his future. The path that he had known since he was a child. The one that had been planned from the moment he was born, and which he, therefore, didn’t have to worry about. Didn’t have to stress about…

 

"Yeah…” he agreed 

"Well, I’ve gotta get to class” he excused with an awkward smile. Why did he feel awkward?

"Yeah me too, see you later though” Doyeon spoke and walked past him, while Tao began slowly walking away as well, yet he turned around. 

 

"Doyeon” he called, and she turned around

"Wanna join us for lunch today?” 

She gave him a smile “Sure” 

"Cool, see you then” 

"See you” 

He smiled as he continued back to his class, but began wondering why he had decided to invite her on a whim. 

Was it because they were friends? Because soon they wouldn’t be friends anymore, and Tao didn’t want to lose more things? 

 

Going to college scared him. 

One step closer to the suffocating future he didn’t want, and perhaps it helped to have another friend who didn’t know about it, who could take him away from that world, and to a place where his future didn’t matter. 

 

Of course, Sehun had also given him this opportunity, of course, his sister did so as well, but both of them were a part of that world, and the places they could take was a mere stop on the subway he was stuck in. What Doyoung gave him, was a way for him to step out of it, and away from the station, letting him forget what awaited him. 

 

He wished it would just stop once and for all, and rid him of the chains around his body.

 

When lunch came around, Taeyong walked to the cafeteria, ready to meet with the group at the table. 

Then he spotted Jaehyun walking his way down the corridor. He had headphones in and didn’t notice Taeyong, too consumed in his own head.
Taeyong watched him walk right past him, not caring about the students staring at him, all focused on the school prince’s sudden change in manner. 

 

Taeyong’s heart ached, as he stared after him but he continued his way to the cafeteria nevertheless. 

 

Jaehyun had changed, and Taeyong didn’t know what to do about it. Everyone talked about it, everyone but Taeyong.

How could he? 

He joined the group at the table, sitting down by Johnny, and greeting them with a smile. They didn’t talk about him either.

 

"So are Jungwoo and Lucas actually a thing or not?” Baekhyun spoke. 

Taeyong and a few others turned to see what he was talking about. 

Jungwoo and Lucas were standing in line, chatting nonstop as always. They were attached at the hip, enjoying each other’s company, completely oblivious to their surroundings. They’ve always been that way.

 

"Don’t bother, you won’t get an answer,” Taeyong answered, turning back to his food.

 

No one knew whether or not Jungwoo and Lucas were exclusive but no one dared flirt with them either, and let them be instead. They’ve always been attached to the hip, and it was none of their business to discuss what they were or weren’t. 

 

Baekhyun wanted to say something but didn’t know what, so he leaned back in his seat in silence.

 

"Why are you holding a seat Tao?” Yuta asked, changing the subject. The seat on Tao’s left was empty, on his right though, was Kris as always. 

He didn’t talk much but observed the group. 

It was weird since Kris would always be a talkative person. He’d usually be the one to keep the mood up, but no one questioned it, because Kris himself pretended it was nothing.

 

Before Tao could answer Yuta though, a voice called out 

"Tao!” 

The group looked at Doyeon who was walking towards them 

"I hope it’s okay I invited Doyeon to eat with us,” Tao explained and gave Doyeon a wave. Some of the guys exchanged looks.

"Yeah, Lucas is gonna bring Jungwoo over too” Baekhyun shrugged, and not even a minute later, the pair came to the table, not even greeting the rest.

 

"I swear something is going on” Baekhyun mumbled, and Sicheng rolled his eyes “Just drop it already” 

 

As Tao looked around the table, he smiled. He had missed the group, missed the way they would joke around together.

He was happy that even if some of them weren’t genuinely fine, some of them were, and kept the mood up. 

 

He talked with Doyeon mostly during lunch, helping her become a part of the group, even if she was barely known to some of them.  

He’s still not sure why he wants to get close to her.

Of course, during practice, he’d begun small-talking with her as he said he would. He couldn’t deny that it was nice having someone who didn’t know about his .

 

He looked over at Kris, who thought no one was watching him because the empty look in his eyes was as clear as day.

 

He turned away before Kris could catch him staring. He shouldn’t have looked at him to begin with, because the familiar weight in his chest came right back. 

 

The worry he had tried to bury by talking with Doyeon washed over him, and he wanted to disappear from Kris’ side.

 

"Why’d you invite Doyeon?” Johnny asked him as they walked back to class.

"What do you mean?” 

Johnny let out a sigh “You’d usually hang out alone” 

"How are you and Ten?” Tao redirected, and Johnny let out a sigh but answered

"We’re fine,” and stopped in front of his class “We’re still taking it slow, and what is it you’re dodging?” 

Johnny’s hands were in his pockets, and even if his posture was relaxed, it was tense. 

Tao didn’t answer and avoided Johnny’s eyes. 

"It’s nothing, don’t worry about it” 

"Tao” 

"I’m serious, Johnny, you don’t have to worry about me anymore” 

It was silent for a moment while the words seeped in, and Johnny leaned against the doorframe, softly nodding, knowing what Tao had meant 

"You’re right” he mumbled, and gave Tao a strained smile, and Tao scoffed

"That’s not what I-” 

"No, you’re right Tao, it’s not my job” It’s Sehun’s…  

 

He couldn’t lie, it was hard being friends, hard to know what you are allowed to do and what you’re not allowed to do, and Johnny needs to understand that, or so he believes himself.

 

"See you tomorrow” he muttered with a strained smile and disappeared into the classroom. 

 

Tao let out a sigh before walking slowly to his own class.

Even if he had more reasons to be happy now, he wasn’t. The more things you love, the more you hurt… 

 

Taeyong walked down the corridors towards the main exit, alone as he often would. He would no longer end up quarreling with Doyoung nor would Jaehyun be walking him home. 

 

He knew he shouldn’t feel sad, wasn’t allowed to because after all, it had been his own choice.

 

Outside, it was sunny, and just the right temperature. Not too cold nor too hot, and the cold winter had completely melted away, leaving no trace. 

 

If only their fight had done so as well, but just like how snow can still fall in April, even if it melts away, it’ll still be there, leaving traces behind, and so did their bond. 

 

It was like they were stuck in December, back when Jaehyun had come to his house, begging him to talk to him, telling him he loved him.  

 

He rounded a corner to the main hall, and there he spotted Jaehyun. 

Every Time he saw him, he’d remember that night. 

 

How he had cried on the other side of Taeyong’s door, promising him he'd wait for him no matter how long, and so he had.

 

It’s been months, yet he kept his promise, staying away from Taeyong till he was ready. 

 

He didn’t let anyone with ulterior motives come near him either, stopping them before they had the chance.

 

He changed himself as well, so much his friends couldn’t even recognize him. 

He didn’t go looking for trouble but kept himself private. 

 

Some gossip said he got depressed. 

 

Of course, habits are hard to break, and even though it was hard for Jaehyun, he came to know that it was nothing compared to losing Taeyong. 

 

He had to change, and if that meant he had to lose parts of himself, so be it. 

As long as it could make Taeyong love him once again, he didn’t care what he lost. 

 

He lost most of his friends and was no longer as popular as he was before. People began to distance themselves from him, talking about how different he had become, and how they didn’t like it. Jaehyun didn’t care though. 

 

He didn’t even care how long it would take for Taeyong to forgive him. 

To be honest, he’d understand if Taeyong never would, as long as he would never take Doyoung's side. 

He could live without Taeyong as long as he never went to Doyoung.

 

Obviously, Taeyong still didn’t know the truth. 

Sure, he could’ve gotten it from Doyoung or Jaehyun, but he didn’t. 

He wasn’t ready to face Jaehyun yet, and he didn’t even know why. 

 

He just couldn’t, after spending months proving to Jaehyun that he liked him and not Ten, only for Jaehyun to leave him. 

 

Of course, he knew Doyoung was also at fault. Of course, he knew he was to blame as well, but it was Jaehyun who he liked, and he had hurt him more. 

 

Yet, when he walked around the corridors, listening to what people said about Jaehyun, his heart crumpled with guilt. 

How Jaehyun’s old friends rolled their eyes at him, annoyed at how Jaehyun shut them out. 

 

He hated how people began looking down at Jaehyun just because he wasn’t wild anymore. He hated that he was the one who had caused this. 

 

Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind it. 

Just like right now, he’d often be walking with a small smile or none at all. 

Some days were better than others of course. Just like today he’d often walk with headphones in, and ignore everyone around him. 

Some days he’d have a friend by his side. Some days he’d sit quietly at the table with the other music students, or he wouldn’t be present in the cafeteria at all.

 

Taeyong waited till Jaehyun had left the school, before continuing his way out. 

He didn’t know how to approach Jaehyun, even if he subconsciously longed to talk to him. Longed to be in his arms, and longed to apologize to him over and over again. 

 

"Taeyong-hyung” a voice sounded, and he turned around to see someone he hadn’t expected to see. He looked at the younger in surprise.

"Can we talk?” The younger spoke again, scratching his neck 

"Of- Of course” Taeyong croaked out.

 

Tao and Kris walked out of the school together but when they reached the gate, Tao stopped and faced Kris “I can’t go home with you today, I have plans” he excused, and as usual, Kris let out a silent “Okay” with a small smile.

Tao didn’t understand why Kris didn’t ask him about his plans, where he was going, who he was going with but then again, Tao didn’t really get him anymore at all. 

"I’m hanging out with Sehun” he elaborated, and again, no visible reaction from Kris “I’ll see you tomorrow then” he only spoke and gave Tao a small wave as Tao walked to the familiar black car across the street.  

 

As soon as he got in, his face was raw with worry, but Sehun didn’t ask him. He’d rather have Tao open up about it if he wanted to.
They began driving towards Sehun’s apartment in silence.

 

"He’s changed,” Tao said after a while, and Sehun knew immediately who he was talking about “I thought that was what you wanted?” Tao looked out of the window “Not like this” he muttered, “Not like this”. 

 

Later that night Tao was curled up with Sehun on his couch, far away from his parents, far away from Kris, yet he wasn’t. 

Even in Sehun’s arms, the dream came back to haunt him. He felt guilty. Sehun had taken him in, fallen for him, and let him heal ever so slowly, let him cry and talk about Kris whenever he needed to, but he didn’t want Sehun to think he was nothing but a comfort buddy. That he used Sehun to get over Kris. He hoped Sehun didn’t think of it that way. 

He really hoped he didn’t unconsciously use Sehun that way.

 

"I had a bad dream” he finally croaked out. Tao was looking out of the large windows in Sehun’s apartment, while Sehun was staring at him.

Tao didn’t mind. 

He’d gotten used to it because Sehun never stopped, not even when Tao asked him to. He didn’t understand why Sehun was so obsessed with looking at him.

 

"You mentioned that earlier,” Sehun answered, tightening his hold on Tao, hugging him even tighter. 

"What kind of bad was it?” Sehun asked, and put his chin on Tao’s shoulder, who leaned further into his touch as if that was even possible. He closed his eyes and took his Sehun’s scent.  

 

"Could’ve-been-real-life kind of bad” he muttered softly, and Sehun took Tao’s hands in his “What happened?” he softly asked, not wanting to press Tao into talking about it.

 

It took a while before Tao answered, and he had begun softly playing with Sehun’s hands, still not looking at him. 

"It…” he started out, but his voice broke. He didn’t know how to tell his boyfriend that a dream about his best friend having a fiance, scared him.

 

"It was Kris” he croaked out, waiting for Sehun’s reaction, waiting for him to let out an annoyed sigh or a comment, but he didn’t.

Somehow, Sehun had become so soft these last months. Even at the club, he didn’t seem as annoyed as usual. 

 

"What happened?” Sehun asked, and Tao’s heart melted. Sehun was a good guy, maybe even perfect. He wasn’t worried or insecure when it came to their relationship. 

 

How could Tao forget that Sehun accepted him no matter how broken he was? 

"It’s stupid” Tao let out even so.
“It’s not, Tao” 

Sehun grabbed Tao’s hands tight “You loved him for a long time, and even though you believe you should be over him, sometimes it doesn’t work like that” 

He paused for a moment “Sometimes it comes back to haunt you, even years later” 

It was silent for a moment

"Why?” Tao softly asked

"Because you loved him, and he hurt you. It left a scar in your heart, and even if they heal, they might never disappear” 

 

Tao stayed silent for a minute. 

"Why do you always know what to say?” he let out, not necessarily needing an answer, but still, Sehun did. 

"Because I love you” and placed a kiss in Tao’s hair.

 

He let out a deep breath “If you don’t wanna talk about it, it’s fine” Sehun softly spoke “We should probably get to bed soon anyway, it’s late” 

 

Tao nodded, and they went to bed but Tao was afraid of falling asleep.

 

He was curled into Sehun once again, his head on his chest, Sehun’s arm around his shoulders. 

His mind was still filled with fears and worries even so, and the darkness only made it worse. 

 

"Sehun” he hesitantly spoke after a while. 

"Yeah?”Sehun’s low voice sounded, and a hand landed in Tao’s hair, softly caressing it.

It calmed him down a bit, made him feel safe.

"I dreamt Kris was engaged” he finally admitted, and the hand in his hair didn’t stop, didn’t even flinch.

 

---

 

He watched the black car drive away, dropping his strained smile once it was gone. He knew the others knew something was wrong, but as long as he keeps pretending, and playing dumb, they won’t ask him. 

He scratched his neck and let out a sigh, brows hurting from furrowing so much. 

"Kris” A stern voice spoke, and he turned around with tired eyes to face a man in a dark suit, back straight, waiting patiently for Kris.  

"Ready to go?” he asked Kris, who turned his eyes to the ground for a moment before softly nodding “let’s go” he muttered, and followed the man to a car, got in the backseat, and slumped against the seat with twitching eyebrows. His eyelids were heavier than usual, and it was unbearable to keep his eyes open.

"Pull yourself together” the man commented as he started the car, pulling away from the school grounds. 

Kris straightened in his seat, staring out of the window, waiting for the car to stop so he could be done with everything. 

He had to admit, he has been daydreaming more often recently, has been dreading the days more whenever he woke up.

He could only close his eyes, and daydream, waiting for it all to be over soon. 

Perhaps then, the universe will let him be free.