A/N: School is starting tomorrow so this might be the last chapter in a while. I wanted to make it longer but I also wanted to post it today cause I know I might not have time later. I'll make sure to make time for the story!

Johnny and Tao were small talking as they made their way to the canteen around a week after the party. After they got their food they went and sat down at their new table which was only fit for 4 people.  

They talked about this and that, ignoring how some students would glance at the two, as it was a peculiar thing. The team, no matter what, no matter how big a fight they were in, always sat together, but something had caused the captain to split from the rest, and students couldn’t help but wonder why.

No fight had caused the group to split, all of them denied it if you asked, but no one explained the real reason for it. 

As they were eating a third person joined their table “Hey” they greeted him as he sat down “Took you long enough” Tao commented, and Kris rolled his eyes “Not my fault you left me behind” he threw back “You were slow” Johnny spoke with a monotone voice. Kris glanced worriedly at Tao who shook his head as in saying “Still not better” because the reason why they were “Split” was Johnny. Don’t take it the wrong way, don’t think it’s because Johnny hates the group, because it's not.

He’s just scared.

After what happened at the party, after being caught by Taeyong and having a panic attack, he couldn’t face him. He was too scared to see the other who hated him, who looked at him as though he wanted to kill him. 

"I can’t sit with you,” Johnny had told Tao the Monday after the party before they walked into the canteen “I can’t face him” he continued and Tao noticed the shakiness in his voice “It’s my fault, I know he’s pissed at me” 

"I’m the one who should withdraw and give him space” 

Tao didn’t want to leave him alone after seeing what happened at the party, so he informed Kris and has been sitting with Johnny this past week, making sure he’s okay. Kris joined as well, though mostly because of Tao, but also because he and Johnny were slowly becoming friends despite the rivalry. 

After the first day of this both the couple and Baekhyun asked Tao about it, who shortly explained the case to them, but leaving out the episode from the party  

"I don’t know how long it’s gonna be this way” he let out and leaned on a desk the three sat on some as well in silence “Taeyong hasn’t said anything about it” Baekhyun spoke “But he is acting weirdly” Sicheng added “It’s like he’s trying to be cheery, but he’s constantly frustrated. It’s like he’s mad at everything around him and no one knows what or what to do” he continued

“Tao” Baekhyun called in a slightly annoyed voice “Are you not gonna do something about it?” Tao averted his eyes “As the captain? Two players are in a conflict and it has split us apart, and you’re just gonna be biased and pick a side?” 

"Baekhyun-” Yuta tried to reason, but he didn’t listen “You meddle instead of fixing it? When it’s about everyone else you make us talk no matter what, but now you just let them fight!” 

"It’s not a fight!” 

"No, it’s the goddamn cold war!” Baekhyun spat.

Yuta scoffed at this while the other two let out a sigh “Baek, I’m not doing nothing. I’m not picking sides! I’m letting it cool down because I’m not letting Johnny near Taeyong until he’s okay and before Taeyong has cooled down!” Tao answered. They were silent so Tao continued “He’s afraid of Taeyong! And I don’t want to see- I don’t want Johnny to have another panic-attack because he has to face Taeyong, I don’t want Taeyong to confront him, okay? This is the best we can do” 

Baekhyun didn’t try to push it, and no one asked about the “having another panic-attack”. After this Tao explained the situation to the other members one by one so that they wouldn’t think a fight was going on. 

So a week later, it was still going on, but no one said anything about it and only waited for it to be over “Any progress?” Baekhyun asked as they made their way back to the classroom “No” Tao sighed “He’s… broken?” Tao tried to explain, but couldn’t because Johnny was not Johnny, just an empty shell “I don’t know what to do” he muttered, not realizing his own distress, which alarmed the three “Tao, you’re doing the best you can” Baekhyun comforted, giving his shoulder a squeeze “I don’t think there’s much you can do” Tao let out a sigh and nodded “I just want to help him” 

"You are” Yuta added with a comforting smile. 

"Has he told you yet what happened?” Kris asked Tao as they walked home. Tao shook his head “Nope, and I don’t know when he will either” He turned to Kris “Thank you for telling me who “they” are” he gave a smile, which quickly faltered. 

After the party, during the weekend Kris had told Tao who Johnny had referred to as “they”, being Taeyong, and the rest of their friends involved in Johnny’s drama.  

"No problem” Kris spoke “Maybe he’ll tell you soon, he just needs to figure out how to tell you” 

"Maybe” 

Taeyong caught up with the pessimist as he was leaving school “Doyoung” he called and the other let out a deep sigh “What?” he asked as he turned towards Taeyong “Chill dude” he spoke with a chuckle, and for some reason, Doyoung didn’t like it. There was something mocking to it “Whatever” he mumbled “Just say what you have to say” he let out and started walking away with Taeyong trying to keep up “Well I confronted Jaehyun at the party” 

"Mhm” Doyoung only commented, while Taeyong put his arm on his shoulder which Doyoung really, really didn’t like, but he didn’t say it “And well I told him that I like him cause he said he wasn’t sure I was over Ten, and then I-” 

"Get to the point,” Doyoung said with an eye-roll, causing Taeyong to glare at him “Well, he kissed me!” he exclaimed “Good for you” Doyoung’s apathetic voice sounded as he began to walk faster, “I think I’m winning this fight” Taeyong commented with a grin “Sure you are” Doyoung sarcastically remarked, shrugging off Taeyong’s arm and making Taeyong stop in frustration “What the hell is up with you?” He called after him, and Doyoung stopped up and turned around, glaring at Taeyong “Once upon a time” he started out “There was a boy” he began to walk away again “Who fell for a playboy and got his heart broken. The end” 

Frustration filled Taeyong “What the hell are you saying?!” he shouted “He’s not like that!” the other only ignored it “The. End” 

Johnny sat in his bedroom in silence, staring at the message on his phone.

He hadn’t replied to it yet though he should have. He just couldn’t find it in him to reply yet, still frustrated and wanting to put the blame on him. He threw a last glance at the “Hey Johnny, I’m sorry I didn’t keep an eye on you at the party, are you okay?” and closed his phone, taking a drag from the joint in his hand.

He hated to admit it, but after the party, he had begun smoking more than usual, and even though he hated it, he didn’t know how else to deal with everything. He couldn’t relax, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t even look his friends in the eye anymore. The fear and panic ate him up every night, and every time he'd tell himself that he shouldn’t have come to the party. He should’ve stayed at home, shouldn’t have come even if Tao had asked, even if Ten had promised to keep an eye on him, even though it was Johnny’s fault for not leaving the stranger and going back to the others. He hated how he had a panic attack after such a long time, hated how it came back, and drowned him after he had spent so long getting better. 

He stepped out on his balcony feeling the coldness of November on his skin, hoping that the snow would fall soon and wash him clean, purify him with their message of a new beginning in a few months. He took another drag, leaning his arms on the railing, but the tears in his eyes and the overwhelming emotions inside him had him on his knees trying to drown the sobs in his throat “” he whispered in a strained voice as the tears kept falling “What am I gonna do?” he whispered as he leaned against the wall, softly sobbing in silence to the busy streets below him. 

During the weekend he finally answered Ten’s text with an “I’m fine” and left it at that.

When Monday came around again he still hadn’t gotten any better, in Kris’ opinion he looked even worse. He was just staring into the air during their classes, sometimes not even bothering taking out his books. When lunchtime came around he’d still walk with Kris and Tao, letting them lead him to their table. This time as Johnny was making his way to the table, looking at the floor, he almost bumped into someone.

He looked up, ready to mutter a quick apology but the words got stuck as he stared at Taeyong in front of him. He couldn’t read his expression, but just staring at the other, just facing him, made his heart pick up its pace but he stood frozen. His fight or flight instinct was pushing him towards flight, but he didn’t want to seem affected, so he turned his face filled with fear down and hurried to Tao and Kris on shaky legs, leaving Taeyong to stand frozen.

Tao was already trying to comfort him when he sat down “I’m fine” Johnny stated, but all three of them knew it was a lie. His leg bouncing up and down was one thing, but the pure fear on his face was another. The paranoia making him glance around the canteen was a third “No you’re not” Tao softly spoke, but Johnny, on the verge of an attack denied it “I’m fine! I’m okay!” he snapped at him, “I’m fine” he breathed out “I’m fine” he ignored the look he got from Kris and turned his focus to his food “Lie to me one more time and I swear-” Kris began mumbling but cut himself off because it’d just be a mean thing to say at this moment. 

"Do you think he’s going to be okay?” Taeyong could hear Baekhyun mutter to Sicheng as he sat down. He wished he didn’t hear it because he was still incredibly mad at the one they were talking about, and even though he felt guilty about his condition, he didn’t acknowledge it. He was mad at him, hated him, resented him. After what happened the first time, he still decided to go looking for trouble!? 

He knew it wasn’t exactly Johnny’s fault, but he suppressed that part “I don’t know, did you see his face?” Sicheng muttered back, “When do you think they’ll come back?” Mark inquired softly “Don’t know” Baekhyun muttered “He wants to wait till it cools down” he absently spoke, looking towards the table in secret. When Taeyong heard this, he felt a pang of guilt and felt eyes looking towards him, but he chose to ignore it all “Just give him space, he’ll come back when he’s ready” Taeyong muttered as he began eating. The boy sitting next to him scoffed silently “I wonder when that’ll happen” Doyoung’s low voice sounded, and Taeyong was happy he was the only one who could hear what he said. He glared at him shortly, but turned back to his food, ignoring the gnawing feeling of guilt “Days, weeks, months?” Doyoung taunted again “Maybe he’ll never be able to face us again” he spoke a bit louder with a concerned face “What are you saying?” Yuta let out “Of course he’ll come back! We’re his friends” Doyoung threw a glance at Taeyong “I hope so. I hope he knows that we are there for him” he voiced before muttering in a low voice “Unless someone here isn’t” Taeyong let out a deep breath, almost exploding in his Doyoung’s face, but he didn’t, instead, he continued eating, and drowning the guilt inside him. He had the right to be angry! It was okay for him to be angry!

"You’re not fine” a message read on Johnny’s phone when he got home.

He threw it on his bed instead of answering because obviously no he wasn’t okay, not one bit, but Ten didn’t need to know that “Johnny, talk to me, it’s my fault let me take responsibility” another read a few minutes later. It wasn’t Ten’s fault! He considered smoking for a moment instead of answering the other “Johnny” another sounded and he realized that Ten probably wouldn’t stop messaging him until he answered 

Johnny

If you want to take responsibility, why don’t you talk to Taeyong? 

Ten

What do you mean?

Johnny

He’s pissed at me. 

He hates me. 

I don’t think we’re friends anymore   

Ten

What happened?

Johnny locked his phone letting out a sigh. Was he going to tell Ten about what happened? Did he really want to tell him? He decided he needed to smoke before he’d tell Ten about it, feeling everything washing over him. 

Johnny

I ed up Ten

He sent the text and broke down, and told him everything that had happened, not caring about typos.

The next day when Kris saw him texting someone, he wanted to throw a comment, but he didn’t because Johnny needed someone or something to help him get out of the hole he is in. He didn’t tell Tao that Johnny was texting someone even if he would get frustrated to see his friend open up to someone else but him, but oh, if only he knew why. 

The days somehow melted together. The three of them would sit together at lunch, the rest would glance and comment on the situation, wondering when they would return while Doyoung would keep taunting Taeyong silently who still didn’t budge even a bit. 

"I’m going home with Nana, hyung” Taeyong heard a voice tell Doyoung as he was about to leave school. He didn’t mean to start eavesdropping on the conversation but he had never seen Doyoung socialize with anyone else but them, nevertheless heard anyone call him hyung. Maybe Taeyong thought he was some kind of loner based on his bitter and cold heart, but that’s not important 

"That’s okay Jeno” Doyoung spoke and ruffled the younger’s black hair “Take care though” he continued, making the other roll his eyes “I will, but really how many times do I have to tell you? Nana is a good guy” Doyoung let out a sigh, but smiled “I know, I just want to protect you” Taeyong couldn’t help but feel some weird kind of respect and shock towards Doyoung at that moment, as he never knew he could actually be that kind and sweet to someone. The younger, Jeno, as Doyoung had addressed him, let out a sigh 

"Yeah, I know, but really let it go, I’m fine” he tried to convince with a smile. What should Doyoung let go? 

"Are you sure? Everyone breaks a little when that happens...” Doyoung’s soft voice sounded, just what the hell was that about? Taeyong wondered, taking in the new tea he just got served. He had to ask Doyoung about that sometime. 

"Do you know how to get someone to open up about an incident that happened, which you happened to see the after-match of?” Tao asked Sehun as they were cuddling on Sehun’s bed “What is this about?” he asked staring at Tao who was staring into the air “Just… a friend who happened to have an incident caused by an earlier incident, which led him to have an anxiety attack and possibly losing a longtime friend” Sehun breathed in disbelief “Wow” he let out “That’s something”

"Mhm” Tao commented and cuddled closer into Sehun, who let his hand play with Tao’s black bangs “I don’t know Tao” he spoke “I would either ask them if they want to talk about it or I'd wait till they bring it up” 

"I’m just afraid he won’t tell me even if I ask, and like, we’re really close! So like, why wouldn’t he?” Tao blurted out and sighed “Who is it?” Sehun asked, “It’s Johnny, you remember him right?” Tao looked at Sehun with those cute-, doe-like eyes, and he melted on the inside “Yeah, the tall arrogant one?” he joked “Yeah” Tao let out “That guy, he’s usually not like that though” he defended “He’s usually really kind and understanding”
Sehun didn’t like the way Tao was defending Johnny, of course, he didn’t, they were sort of rivals, yet Sehun was in the lead, wasn’t he? He knew he sounded like the worst, stating it like that, but he can’t lose one more time just because he was too slow. Yet, the first time, it wasn’t totally his fault was it? It wasn’t his fault he fell for someone who’d never see him as anything but a younger brother. Someone who was already in love, just like Tao was, yet Tao wasn’t taken. He couldn’t help but wonder, as he looked at Tao’s face; his dark and beautiful sparkling eyes, his pretty lips showing that warm smile and body pulled close to his, if Tao was his chance to try again. To actually get a second chance to get his happy ending. He didn’t want to lose again, not when he’s this close, so close he could smell the other, so close he could feel the other lying in his arms safe and sound. So close he could press his against his neck, inhaling his scent. He didn’t want to let this go, he didn’t want to lose this. 

"Sehun?” Tao questioned as Sehun’s grip had tightened around his waist and he had snuggled into his back “Mhm?” he let out 

"Are you okay?” Tao asked, turning around to face Sehun, who stared with such a soft and content look on his face “Mhm” Sehun let out with a smile “I’m okay, why?” 

"Nothing” 

Sehun placed his hand on Tao’s cheek, caressing it softly. The way they were both looking at each other with a smile on their lips, cuddling like this, reminded Sehun of the first time they met. Maybe Tao was no longer a distraction to Sehun, but was Sehun still that to Tao?

He didn’t dare ask, knowing it wouldn’t be the answer he wanted to hear. 

Instead, he hugged Tao closer hoping he’d stay with him forever.

Johnny had actually texted Ten a lot lately, just talking about everything that happened; How he felt about what he did at the first party, how badly he wanted to apologize. How he did it at the Halloween party but had lost Taeyong as a friend when he was caught with the other. How he wasn’t sitting with the group, how he’s too scared to look Taeyong in the eyes. How he felt he could no longer be with the group, and how bad he felt for having Tao and Kris sit with him.

Ten told him to get his together, kind of. He did say that he shouldn’t feel guilty about distancing himself, and that it was Taeyong’s problem. He also told him not to feel bad about Tao and Kris because they stayed with him because they wanted to, yet Johnny didn’t want to listen. 

He tried to ignore his messages, but he couldn’t. They were there, written and staring back at him when he looked at their chat. He hated that Ten was right. He shouldn’t feel guilty, yet Johnny knew he would feel guilty for not feeling guilty it all. To act as nothing mattered, as it didn’t faze him at all wouldn't be right. 

"I know” he texted back and locked his phone. He considered calling Tao, wanting someone to comfort him, but he was with Sehun. He had informed him of that earlier, and somehow it hurt. It really hurt that he couldn’t text him. It didn’t just hurt because it was Tao, but that Johnny held himself back from contacting him, not wanting to interrupt him with Sehun, knowing he was beginning to like him.

It hurt. It hurt to see the smile on Tao’s face whenever he mentioned Sehun, it hurt how fondly he spoke about him. It was almost as though he was speaking about Kris. It was just like that. Oh, if only Tao could look like that when he spoke Johnny’s name if only he could stare at him as he stared at Kris. If only he had him in his sight. If only he had him. If only he had loved him like the stranger had. “If only” he whispered to himself as tears fell. 

At lunch the next day, it was silent as always until Kris spoke “I have plans after school, so I can’t go back with you” 

"Oh” Tao let out and nodded “Okay” 

He didn’t have to say anything for Johnny to see the disappointment on his face, hidden in his eyes that wandered around on his food. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what to say. What could he say to comfort Tao? What could he say that wouldn’t alert Kris? “Wanna hang out today?” Could he say that? Of course, he could, but he didn’t want to hang out. He wanted to stay at home and cry while smoking, asking why his life was instead of getting help, so he kept quiet. 

It was only on the way home, as he walked with Tao that he considered opening his mouth, but even then it was Tao who spoke up. He felt rather grateful for that because he knew he wouldn’t have had the guts to ask it, so when Tao asked “Do you wanna talk about it?” he almost broke down. Almost let the tears fall and just blurt out everything, yet all he spoke was a strained “Ye-yeah” 

"Today, or maybe this weekend?” Tao asked again, and once again Johnny felt grateful towards Tao “Weekend” his voice let out “I- need to-” 

"Gather your thoughts?” 

"Yeah…” 

When he got home he cried while texting Ten how he can’t tell Tao, he doesn’t know how to. Ten only told him “If you could tell me, you can tell Tao” it didn’t really help, but he understood what Ten meant.

It grew colder and Sehun didn’t like it. He wasn’t really fond of winter, not fond of the pure snow that comes falling from the sky. He’s not exactly sure why he hates winter so much, he just never liked the neverending coldness, how he’d freeze even after entering his room, how he’d shiver even after spending time with his parents, well parent. 

His parents divorced a few years back, and he never fully understood why, but it was seemingly mutual, rather it was his mother that had seemed the most affected by it all. He ended up staying with his father, and he hadn't seen his mother since then. 

He ran away the night they told him, cliche right? Sehun thinks so as well, but he did. Maybe that night is the reason why he hates winter so much because after that night the world became so much colder. That night was the last time he truly felt warm. Perhaps it was the last time he felt whole inside. He likes to believe it’s because of one person and one incident. That night someone found him crying his heart out, yet empty of any emotion. That person had stayed with him, listened to him. He made sure Sehun was okay, and even kept in contact with him later on, and even introduced him to his friends when he got older. Yet that person who had saved him that night also the one who caused the constant pain inside him, and his dislike of winter, because that person was no other than Luhan. 

Maybe he’s never gonna like this season again, maybe he’s never gonna look up at the snow falling and think “Beautiful”, maybe he’s not gonna yearn for Christmas this year, not gonna enjoy when the lights fill the streets. Yet maybe he can start to embrace it, acknowledge the coldness and tell someone “It’s kind of cold” and let that person melt it all away, embrace him in their warmth, maybe that’s what he yearning for, maybe that’s who he’s yearning for. That guy with the cutest smile, that guy with the darkest yet brightest eyes. Yeah, maybe that’s it.

It was kind of nerve-wracking for Tao to stand in front of Johnny’s apartment. He had never been to his place before, they never had a reason to before now. He knocked on the apartment door and waited for Johnny to open up, and when he did, he finally saw what Johnny had tried to hide during the school. His red eyes, so puffy Tao was sure he had been crying earlier that day. He was too stunned to say anything and Johnny really didn’t think much of it and just let him in. 

Tao took in the small apartment and understood why Johnny haven’t invited Tao over earlier. The kitchen was rather small and took up space to the right while a small table and a few chairs stood in the small space by the right wall by the door. By the wall was a bookshelf filled with photos and a few books, games, and movies. By the kitchen was a wall, kind of splitting the room in two, yet it went not even halfway through the small apartment, meaning Tao could see the tv from where he stood, and the balcony with its large windows at the end. On the wall where the bookshelf and the tv were placed against, was the door leading the bathroom. No other door was visible, meaning Johnny’s bedroom was behind the wall of the kitchen. 

Johnny had already made his way past it, so Tao hurriedly took off his shoes and jacket and followed. Johnny had taken a seat on the bed that stood placed into the corner by the half wall and the end wall. It was large enough to fit both of them so he sat down beside Johnny who was zoning out, and as soon as he turned his head to the nightstand, it made sense.

Both smoked and unsmoked lied scattered on the nightstand, and Tao’s heart broke at the sight, seeing, knowing it was more than usual. He turned to the other who immediately whispered an “I’m sorry” Tao could see tears forming in his red and tired eyes “Don’t be” Tao blurted out, and began to wipe the falling tears “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how bad it really is” Tao spoke, and Johnny shook his head “That’s my fault” he spoke and grabbed Tao’s wrist “I didn’t tell you” he continued as more tears began to fall “It’s okay” Tao tried to comfort, but Johnny shook his head again “No it’s not. It’s not okay” he let go of Tao’s wrist who removed his hands from Johnny. 

Johnny leaned against the wall again staring out of the windows “I wanna tell you, but I just- I just, I’m so scared” his broken voice let out, and went silent. His eyes were unfocused and deep in thought while Tao sat in silence as well. 

Johnny snickered at something suddenly and spoke “Is this how you feel about telling Kris?” 

"What?” Tao blurted out in a mix of shock and confusion “Nothing” Johnny dismissed “I just. I’m so afraid you’re gonna hate me” he said, turning his head towards Tao “You sound like Kris” Tao snickered, and so did Johnny “Well, you don’t hate him, so that’s a reassurance” 

"Johnny, why would I ever hate you? If it’s about the party then-” 

"t’s not just the party!” Johnny blurted out “It’s not just that simple”

"If it was, I wouldn’t be panicking this much!” he continued before placing his head in his hands “I’m feeling so ing guilty, so scared” he confessed into his hands. He took in a deep breath “I’ve been lying to you since the beginning” he admitted. 

Tao didn’t know how to react. Had he been lying to him? About what? “What do you mean?” Johnny let out a deep breath, and slowly gathered himself and looked directly at Tao “I’ve been lying to you since last year” he started out, turning his eyes downwards, while Tao was trying to figure out what he meant “Please don’t be mad” he let out in a low voice as he tried to gather his thoughts “Remember the night we walked home together from the bbq?” he asked softly 

"What, what about it?” Tao asked and somehow his heart was pounding, he wasn’t sure why, but maybe because that night he confessed to Johnny about everything. 

"I lied about myself” he confessed after a long silence and looked up at Tao again “You, you told me that... and you asked me, but I lied” he croaked out as tears fell.

 "I lied about-” He sunk a lump in his throat “I lied about- I’m not straight” 

Oh. Was all Tao could think. Somehow, for some reason, he had no idea how to react. It was not what he had expected to at all, but somehow, didn’t it make sense? Why Johnny was in the closeted chat? How he didn’t complain about the name? How he acted around the group. 

"I’m bi” Johnny continued, pulling his knees into his chest, and still Tao had no answer, because what could he say? He gets that Johnny was scared of his reaction, not because of his uality, but because he had kept it from for so long. 

"Since… Since when?” 

Was all Tao could ask, as the only reason he might be annoyed is if he was the only one not to know.

"Since birth” Johnny blurted out, trying to lighten the mood. It helped since Tao let out a breathy laugh, and so did he “You know what I meant idiot” 

"I know” Johnny whispered with a slight smile on his lips. He tightened the grip around his knees “I don’t know, it’s been so long” he muttered “Only Taeyong knew” he continued, and Tao nodded. He still didn’t know what to make of it as he frankly didn’t care about what uality his friends have “Then, the others don’t know?” Tao curiously asked “Oh” Johnny snickered “They know. It wasn’t intentionally...” 

"What do you mean?” Tao blurted out “Wait, how is this relevant to the party?” 

Johnny didn’t answer but got up and made his way to the balcony, motioning for Tao to follow.

The night was already settling due to the winter. It was also cold, but he could feel the warmth from the apartment as the two of them stood and looked out on the city “The one from the party is a guy” Johnny suddenly spoke up, and Tao shot his head towards Johnny “What?” 

Johnny ignored it and continued “That’s how the others know. I told you they know who it is remember?”

"Right” Tao commented with a nod of his head. They stood in silence breathing in the cold air, watching as the night turned a dark blue color and the city began to light up all around “So” Tao started out “Wanna tell me what happened?” He looked towards Johnny who was in trance, just watching the city, just thinking about nothing. His eyes were dry, but it was easy to see that he had just cried. 

After a while, he let out a sigh and nodded “I guess” he looked down, and gathered his thoughts

“So it wasn’t just a kiss” Johnny started out “I know that much” Tao stated, “So what happened?” A pained smile made its way onto Johnny’s lips “Something so much worse” he let out and told Tao everything. From the fight with Kris to the night where Tao had found him. He told Tao about the confrontation he had with Taeyong, how Taeyong had told him about he had done.

While he spoke, Tao comforted him when he had a hard time letting it out. He told Johnny could tell him even if he felt he couldn’t, because why else would Tao had come? If he’d never intended to listen and accept whatever he had to say, he wouldn’t have come. 

Johnny nodded at his words and told Tao that he and Ten had started texting, to which Tao was surprised but happy for at the same time. After Johnny was done talking, Tao decided to open about what happened with Kris, even voicing his thoughts to Johnny who, even though feeling hurt, was happy that his friend had accepted and listened to everything he had said, at least that's what went through his head after Tao had fallen asleep beside him, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. He felt incredibly happy to have finally told Tao everything. There was only one thing he hadn’t told him.

That Tao was the one he thought he had kissed. That Tao was the one he liked.

He ignored the texts on his phone telling him to stop, telling him to let it go and move on. He ignored Doyoung's constant taunting when they ate lunch. 

He had the right to be pissed! Johnny had treated his friend like , and hurt him horribly, and even while knowing this, he still went to him! Still hooked up with him! 

"You've gotta let it go" Jaehyun spoke as they walked home from school "Why should I? It's my friend, I have the ing right!" Jaehyun let out a sigh "As far as I am concerned it's not. He's not mad at him nor scared" Jaehyun reasoned "I'm not gonna let it happen" Taeyoong spat  "Why? He likes him!" 

"Yeah, but he doesn't like him back" 

"How do you know that?" 

"Because I know who Johnny likes, and it's not him" 

"So? Let him try anyway? Maybe help him move on from his crush?" 

Taeyong laughed "No. He deserves better" Jaehyun stopped walking "So that's how it is huh?" he questioned as Taeyong turned to him confused "What do you mean?" 

"You say you don't like him anymore, yet you won't let others have him" Jaehyun nodded with a disturbed smile on his face "So that's how it is?" he spoke and Taeyong could see he was hurt "You're never letting go?" he nodded again, and took in a deep breath

 "I see"