He woke up to the smell of cleaning products, and in a bed with white sheets. His head was still throbbing and the constant beeping from a machine didn't help. It didn't take him long to realize he was in the hospital, but how did he get here? He sat up and looked around, but there was no one there, he wasn't there, had it all been a dream? 

"Goodmorning Mr. Seo" A nurse spoke as she stepped into the room "Johnny" he corrected her, as he followed her with his eyes. Her light and elegant steps, and the slight smile on her face didn't really catch his attention, but he was still captivated.

"Okay Johnny" she spoke as she sat down, eyes cold, but still a sweet smile on her lips "Do you know where you are?" as she started to make small tests to make sure he's conscious and healthy

"The hospital" he answered as she checked his eyes with her flashlight. It hurt and he couldn’t help but avert it, looking at her instead "Correct" 

"Do you know why?" 

"Not sure..." he spoke, his eyes wandering the room "What do you remember?" she asked, "Can't you just tell me why I'm here?" he let out as his headache only got worse as he tried to remember. 

"I could, but I need to know how much you remember. Just a small check-up" she said with a shrug, to which he nodded and started thinking even if his head hurt. It was all fuzzy, there were a few small flashes, but nothing concrete, "I was at a party" she nodded "Got drunk" she nodded again "I... I got, I got into a fight?" he looked at her for confirmation, as if she would know the answer "You were slammed into a wall and hit your head" 

"Ah, yeah"

"Who brought me here?" 

"Your friend" 

"Was his name Tao?" 

"I'm afraid not, but that reminds me," she said and pulled something out from her pocket "He left you this" she handed him a piece of paper, which he took. It was folded in half, a note he realized as he started to read the words on it, "You're ready to be discharged, do you have someone who can pick you up?" Johnny didn't answer, too busy reading the note over and over again "Johnny?" 

"Ye-yeah, I.. I have someone who can pick me up" 

"Great, you might want to call them" 

When she left, it hit him, he had no one to call. They are probably pretty much hungover right now he could only assume "" he whispered and fell back on the bed, the paper still in his hand.

He stepped outside the hospital and looked around trying to spot the familiar car, but when he didn’t, he checked his messages again reading the last text 

‘On my way’

Still no update. He hoped they would be there soon as the sunlight hurt in his eyes which didn’t help on his throbbing head, and so he went and sat down on the bench by the entrance, waiting in silence.

There was no noise, no wind, only a light breeze, no noises of traffic, only a few in the distance. It was a way too beautiful day; sunny, calm and warm.

His head was empty for any thoughts, the only things inside were the conversation with the nurse, the note and the small flashes from the party that he remembered. 

Who brought him here if it wasn’t Tao? Was he even there? 

“” he exclaimed as he placed his face in his hands “The did I do last night?” 

“You ready to go?” A voice spoke from the window in a familiar green car. There was a slight smile playing on his lips, and a glint to his eyes and Johnny had to use his hand to block out the sun so he could get a clear look at him 

“Yeah,” he spoke and jumped into the passenger seat. 

The car ride was silent, a weird silence. He couldn’t call it comfortable because it wasn’t. Every time he looked over at Ten, he couldn’t help but notice the anxious look on his face.

But it wasn’t awkward, or tense, but not comfortable either. 

“Thank you for picking me up” Johnny finally dared to speak, throwing a quick glance at the other to see his reaction, but there was no change

“It’s nothing John” he answered, with a slight smile, but still no change. Johnny went back to looking out of the window “I just thought everyone would be pretty hungover today-“

“It’s nothing John” Ten cuts in, which confused Johnny, he hadn't said to push him or annoy him. 

“I’m sorry” he let out, staring out the window, and he could he the other scoff  “Don’t apologize, John, it’s my fault-“

“No, no, you’re probably really tired and I had you come pick me up from the hospital-“ 

“John I don’t mind picking you up, and I didn’t drink that much anyway,” he said with a bit of sharpness.

“Okay, okay” Johnny muttered, and the uncomfortable silence filled the car once again, and even though Johnny didn't want to push the other, he couldn't help the words that left his mouth. 

“Did Tao come back to the party? I feel like I saw him” 

“Uh, he uh...he didn’t come back” 

“Oh, okay”

“Then...Do you know who brought me to the hospital?”

“No, sorry, I don’t”

“Thanks for the ride Ten, wanna come in? It’s been a while-” Johnny started as he had gotten out of the car, but Ten cut him off quickly “I’m sorry John, I can’t, I have to get back to college” he gave Johnny an apologetic smile.

“Oh, okay, well I’ll see you then” Johnny let out with a wave, and the other nodded “Yeah, see you” 

‘Odd’ was all that went through Johnny’s head as he watched Ten drive away before he went inside his home. 

The whole episode with Ten seemed, and felt so weird to Johnny, something about it made his stomach churn, and start that feeling inside him that went “something is wrong, something is not right about this”, but he didn’t know who to talk to this about. He let himself fall onto his bed, still tired, and tried to figure out who he could talk to about it. He couldn’t bring himself to text Tao, too scared, awkward, and ashamed of himself to text him, and Tao probably wouldn’t even know anything, but he would be perfect to rant to. Kris, no, he didn’t want to. After last night, maybe it’s better if they just stay away from each for a while. Taeyong was an option, he knows Ten well and he was at the party, but somehow it felt weird to ask him, he tends to say a lot, too much, to a lot of people. 

“” he muttered to himself, thinking as much as his head could handle, but no matter what, his thoughts led him back to the note.

He took it out again, unable to get it out of his head, but also unable to understand what it’s about, and who it is from. He was really considering texting Taeyong, but maybe it’s better to talk to him on Monday, and so with that decided, he opened the white paper and read the words once again. 

On Monday when the group met for lunch, it was the first time he had ever dreaded seeing Tao, and there have been dreams that he feels ashamed about, but even they have never made him dread seeing him as much as this. The worst part is, it’s not even Tao he should be dreading about seeing, he wasn’t even there, but he didn’t know who he kissed and that made him dread lunch even more.

He hadn’t seen Tao yet, and that wasn’t unusual as they are no longer in class together, instead, he ended up exchanging a few looks with Kris, whose look held a sickening feeling, one worse than usual, was it about the party? He was the one who attacked Johnny!

When the bell rang, he let out a sigh before silently making his way out of class, ignoring Kris who was still in his seat, as he often does, whenever there's a thing that has something to do with Tao and to be honest Johnny was already two seconds from banging his head into the door from the amount bull he is done with, and he really really  had no energy left to deal with him, so with no regret, and almost out of the door, he blurted out “Kris whatever it is you wanna ing fight about, I really don’t have the ing energy to deal with, so can we reschedule?” 

When he got no answer he turned around and saw the boy still in his seat staring at his table, deep in thought “Actually, all I wanted to ask was what happened at the party after I- you know” he gestured, Johnny catching on “Slammed me into the wall?” the other nodded “Yeah, that” 

“I don’t know, I passed out” Johnny spoke “Oh, well anyway” Kris spoke as he got up “I’m sorry about that” 

“It’s fine, I think you should be more worried about yourself and your reputation” Johnny advised, before walking towards the canteen, each step getting heavier and heavier. 

“Hey Johnny, are you okay?” He turned around at the mention of his name and saw Xiaojun and Hendery make their way towards him “You know, after what happened at the party?”  

“Oh, yeah I’m fine” He answered with a shrug, though not daring to make eye contact with them as their worried expressions made him uncomfortable “What was it even about?” Xiaojun asked “Dude, it’s none of our business” Hendery let out “Dude, for what reason do you slam your teammate into a wall?” Xiaojun spat, and Johnny couldn’t help but sigh ‘a lot of reasons, so many reasons you don’t even know my sweet summer child’ 

“Whatever it is, it’s none of our business” Johnny started to turn around with a headache emerging, walking back towards the canteen when a name caught Johnny’s attention “Yeah, then why did Ten text you?!!?” Xiaojun had blurted out.

Hendery yelled something in Chinese right after to silence Xiaojun, and he didn’t look happy. Whatever Ten texted Hendery, was something Johnny shouldn’t know about, and thus he continued his awesome adventure, to the lunch line, though not without meeting other students asking him about his well-being, boi Kris’ rep was going to the dogs. 

As he walked towards the table, he noticed the eerie atmosphere around it; Mark was in the slump, Baekhyun looked like he had given up, Taeyong and Doyoung glared at each other while Sicheng and Yuta were happily chatting with Lucas while Kris was sitting between Taeyong and Mark trying to lighten the mood up, but nothing seemed to help, and so he stopped trying. Tao wasn’t there yet, which was weird, but it made Johnny relax a little, just a bit “Hey guys” he spoke, ready to sit down in his usual spot at the end, “Do any of you know who took me to the hospital after I passed out?” 

He noticed how some of them glanced around; Taeyong, Mark, Lucas, Yuta, and Sicheng, before shaking their heads, and various “No sorry” spilled, starting some kind of frustration inside of him, because they were lying, they know, but apparently he has ed up so bad that even his close friends are keeping it from him.

“I see” He mumbled and began to eat. Kris didn’t say anything, he just sat there, looking uncomfortable, he must’ve realized how badly he ed up, which reminded him “Hey Taeyong” he whispered to the one mentioned, who leaned towards him “Mhm?”

“I need to talk to you later” the other nodded, and went back to eating.

“Hey, guys!” A voice spoke with glee but filled Johnny with instant panic, all blood left his face, and he froze mid-action while taking up a spoonful of rice “Hey!” it sounded from the group, but Johnny couldn’t speak, he just sat paralyzed and only managed to greet him when he sat down “Hey” he let out, only glancing shortly at him, before eating.

“Great party?” Tao asked Johnny but it gained the rest of the guys' attention “I thought it was great to be fair” Lucas answered, earning a confused look from Tao “It was great, if you didn’t get blackout drunk” Johnny explained, “You got blackout drunk?” Tao asked “I- yeah, but I’m not the only one” 

“Who else?” Johnny nodded towards Kris, who lifted his head and stared right at Tao “What?” he let out “Why did you- what happened? I never would have imagined you were like that!” Tao stated 

“He wasn’t much fun, to be frank, just fell asleep on the couch, then later got up and-” Lucas stopped mid-sentence, after a nudge from Sicheng “Then what?” Tao asked, seemingly unaware of the tense atmosphere, but only seemingly “Nothing, we put him to bed and that was it” 

“So nothing fun happened?” 

“Well if it can cheer you up, we found Mark upstairs, well practically, ” Lucas said with a laugh, unaware of the chaos the other was facing. He got as small as humanly possible and just stared at his food suppressing the need to run away. 

The unknowing guys chuckled at this, while he felt the food become more and more unappetizing. 

No one noticed how Hyuck at a nearby table glanced at Mark shortly with a sad and worried expression. 

“What happened?” one pushed Mark, who shrugged and muttered a “Nothing”, just stirring in his food. Some tried pushing more until Taeyong spoke “Guys leave him alone, he obviously doesn’t want to talk about it”  then giving Lucas a slight glare before returning to his passive state 

“But where did you go?” Kris asked Tao softly, who stared for a moment before answering

“Just a friend, nothing special,” with a shrug

“Still more important than us it seems” Lucas commented with a laugh. 

The boys exchanged more stories, though a lot was left out, such as Baekhyun’s breakdown over Chanyeol, not yet having come to terms with the fact that he was nothing to him anymore. Doyoung and Taeyong’s newly discovered rivalry involving a certain brown-haired music club member was not discussed either. No one even knew these things had happened, but everyone knew about Johnny and Kris’ episodes, everyone except Tao, and Johnny who was left in the dark about a certain thing. 

In Mark’s case, people could only assume and guess what had happened, as the boy didn’t talk about it all, no one even knew Hyuck was involved. 

After lunch, Johnny saw Taeyong walk with Mark, seemingly in a deep conversation. while Johnny was walking with Tao, Kris forgotten entirely, or so it seemed. 

“What happened at the party?” Tao asked, and Johnny wanted to blurt out everything that had happened, but for some reason, he didn’t want to expose Kris, but he didn’t want to keep Tao in the dark either “Nothing happened” he lied, ignoring Tao’s intense stare “Right because the group was just weird for no reason!” Tao let out not even hiding his annoyance. He didn’t like to be kept in the dark, and Johnny knew that, but he just didn’t want to say it even though he should, he didn’t want Tao to know that there’s bad blood between his closest friends. 

“Kris was being treated as- as though he was the worst! People kept asking you if you were okay- why wouldn’t you be okay?! Mark was in the slump and so was Baekhyun! ing Baekhyun! And you’re telling me that nothing happened?!” Johnny flinched as Tao yelled it out of frustration. 

Johnny stopped in the middle of the hallway, making Tao stop as well. Johnny looked around before answering in a low tone “I don’t know what happened to Baekhyun and the others okay?”, gesturing they find a more private place to talk 

They walked towards an empty hallway,  “And I can’t tell you what happened to Kris cause that’s his story to tell, not mine” He stopped walking and leaned up against the wall “I don’t even know if he wants to talk about it” 

“Why wouldn’t he?” Tao questioned, but Johnny only shrugged “Guess you’ll find out, I hope he’ll tell you, but I fear he won’t” 

“It couldn’t be that bad” Once again Johnny shrugged “This doesn’t explain why people kept checking up on you” 

“I-” Johnny started out, but didn’t know what to say “I passed out because I drank too much” 

“That’s not all, is it? There’s something more” Tao stated, and Johnny felt his throat close up, he didn’t know how to explain it, didn’t know how to say he mistook someone for Tao and kissed them resulting in him messing things up and their friends keeping it from him. 

After a silence, he spoke 

“You really didn’t come back to the party?” 

He shouldn't be eavesdropping, he shouldn't. He had already gotten the answer, but not exactly, right?

Because he hadn't stayed with Johnny, he had left him, so what he had concluded couldn't possibly be the answer right? 

He reached the end of the hallway, and as he got into his spot he heard it 

"I think I messed up real bad" 

A/N: Heeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy and welcome! I'm probably gonna be updating a lot for the time being because of *cough* isolation *Cough* But also because I noticed something, and what I noticed was that on the 30th may this ff has been going for 3 years! 3 YEARS!!!!  I TOTALLY MISSED ALL OF THE OTHER ANNIVERSARIES OF IT or whatever, and so I decided that since it's 3 years I'll write 3 special chapters! 3 specials! So, if there's anything you want to be answered or curious about or if there are scenarios you want to see, you can recommend 3 of them! I'll choose 3 sometime in April. So you better find out what you want to see!!

EDIT: Besides those 3 chapters I'll make a separate chapter just for questions, since it's about time, right? So besides commenting 3 scenes and stuff, you can write down all of the questions you've been burning to get an answer to, because then the characters and I will do our best to answer them :D.