A/N- And we're back! I'm getting so slow with the updates and I'm so sorry about that!

The day Tao left Johnny was the first day of the winter break and also 5 days until the event at his father’s company. There were no hard feelings between them when he left. His heart was light, but still, a weight was on him. Johnny had loved him through everything. From when he fought with Somi to the time he made up with Kris.

Even so, there weren't any questions running wild in his head and demanding answers. His head was clear, and he knew what he had to do. 

Sehun was out shopping having just started winter break as well. He didn’t have any plans, and Tao hadn’t called him either, not that it was a bad thing, well he can’t lie, it is. Shopping alone can be nice when you’re not thinking of someone you love, so it wasn’t nice for him.

He looked through the countless windows that continued down the street, but nothing caught his eye before he reached a jewelry shop. It was calling out to him so he walked inside and looked around before something caught his eyes, and he knew he had to buy it. He was excited for the gala dinner at the Huang company because he’d finally be able to see Tao again. The vibration of his phone caught him off guard when he exited the shop. 

A simple “I have so much to tell you” was able to make him smile, but a “He’s yours” from Johnny had him frown. 

"Had a great night?” Doyoung, who was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee, asked his brother who walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Jeno rubbed his eyes and sat down “It was alright you?” 

Doyoung tried to hide a smirk, but failed “It was alright as well”. He wasn’t going to tell Jeno about what he did knowing Jeno would hate it. He took a sip of his coffee and let out “Is Jaemin still sleeping?” teasing Jeno “Shut up” the other blushed, but nodded. 

"I’m going out today so you’ll have the house to yourselves” Doyoung winked as he got up from the table. 

Jeno silently nodded, before quietly asking “When are mom and dad coming back?” 

"6 days” Doyoung hesitantly answered. Their parents were often on business trips or traveling just the two of them, and during those times, the boys were able to be themselves. Doyoung could stop focusing on his studies for a while and write his stories, while Jeno could have Jaemin stay over “Okay” he let out “If anything changes I’ll let you know” Doyoung reassured him, ruffling his hair “Then I’m leaving” he continued. 

"When are you coming back?” 

"I don’t know, I’ll text you okay?” Again Jeno nodded “Yeah”. 

After Doyoung left, Jeno tried to make breakfast for Jaemin, but in the end, Jaemin came down and helped him as Jeno wasn’t the best at it “I love you” he told Jaemin as they helped each other make the breakfast “I know, I love you too” his boyfriend smiled. 

A few days later Taeyong woke up midday not having set an alarm since the break started. The light that forced its rays through his curtain had him roll around and face the other side of his room. He was too exhausted to even stay awake even if he had slept long enough. Every time he opened his eyes, he’d see the scene from the ball, and his heart would break all over. He was a fool, an idiot. He was played with and he should have listened to Doyoung back when Jaehyun had chosen Jungwoo. He should have run away and left before it was too late before he fell too hard. 

Tears began to fall onto his pillow so he closed his eyes and let the sobs fall from his mouth. 

"I hate you” his croaky voice let out “But I love you” he continued. 

Just a few hours later, still laying in bed, Ten sent him a text, but he didn’t respond to it, even if it was about Ten going to see Johnny. He didn’t care.

"When are you arriving?” 

"As the last, my father likes to make an entrance”

Sehun chuckled at this “I can’t wait to see you”

"Can’t wait to see you either” 

Tao hung up with a smile and stared at himself in the mirror. He had just gotten out of the shower and was only wearing a pair of sweats. On his chest were the fading hickeys from Johnny. Red marks went from his navel and all the way to his neck, and he couldn’t help but trace them with his fingers. 

The smile on his face widened, remembering the love Johnny had shown. A bit of guilt still lingered in his heart, knowing Johnny’s feelings towards him. He took a last glance at the hickeys on his neck, knowing he should hide them so his father and the rest of the guests wouldn’t see them. 

He wanted to show them off though, show them all he was loved, and that it wasn’t Wendy but a guy. To show them that men desire him and that he too, desires them. 

He shook the thought away and went to his closet to get out his make-up his parents should never ever find, 

The suit he’d be wearing tonight was still suffocating, but knowing Sehun would be there lessened the pressure. He even decided to put extra detail into his outfit. A bit of gold on his jacket in the form of a feather by his collar. He also wanted to add a bit of eyeshadow but knew how the world would see him, and just like the hickeys, he decided against it. 

In the car, he was unable to hide his excitement. He kept looking around, always taking note of where they were and how far they were from the gala.

"Why are you so excited tonight?” His father asked but Tao dismissed it “No reason” he answered and looked out of the window again. 

When the car arrived, the first thing he did was search around for Sehun while his father’s business partners. Between men and women, he glanced around trying to spot the guy with broad shoulders and who looked like Angel, sometimes the devil. 

He was about to move away to look for him, but his father held him back with his words “Let’s go settle, I’m giving the welcoming speech soon” and directed his son towards the table. Tao still let his eyes wander across the room before following him. 

It didn’t help that their table was in focus, but seeing the broad-shouldered guy stand by it, did. 

Tao's relieved smile couldn’t be hidden as he stepped closer. His eyes never left Sehun even if he had to greet Wendy and the Son’s first. Greeting Sehun was like greeting an old friend, and he wondered if he looked the way his father had looked at Sehun’s father and if he and Sehun would end just like them. 

Would he end up marrying Wendy, and he and Sehun would end up as secret lovers? Would he follow his future that had been laid out like a perfect carpet?

He wasn’t sure, and neither did he want to think about it. He sat down with Wendy in front of him. He was facing the room, and he was nauseous. 

The countless voices in the venue had him suffocating, his tie getting tighter and tighter and would inevitably kill him 

"You look amazing”

Sehun’s voice pulled him away from the venue, and into a space where he was safe. How uneasy had he looked? “Thank you” Tao replied, eyes glued to Sehun’s “You too” he complimented in a panic.

"Shy?” Sehun whispered, placing a hand on his thigh, luckily no one could but still panic rose in Tao’s chest “No” he muttered back, but the shy smile on his face betrayed him.

His father held the speech and the gala started. Of course, his father pushed him towards Wendy and her parents, trying to engage in conversations, but as the dinner went on, Tao and Sehun would fall into their own, lost in each other's eyes. Sehun would nudge Tao with his foot, and Tao would respond. They were lucky no one could see what they were doing, neither the hand Sehun still held on Tao’s thigh when they weren’t eating. 

Tao was washing his hands after using the restroom, and in the mirror, he saw Sehun move into sight “Let’s leave” he spoke, and Tao turned around to face him.

He had been too overwhelmed during the dinner to get a clear look at Sehun, so he took his time now, looking at the black suit, with a black shirt and black tie, but with a golden pin, just like Tao “We’re almost matching” he blurted out and a grin emerged on Sehun’s face “We are” he commented. He stepped closer to Tao who leaned against the sink “Let’s go” he urged in a soft yet deep voice. Tao let his hands trace the collar of Sehun’s blazer.

"Where to?” he asked, and Sehun gave him a slight smirk “A secret” Sehun answered, and walked out of the restroom, knowing Tao would follow him.

They shortly passed their table and said they were gonna get some night, and left the venue. The cold and silence outside was a blessing and relaxing to Tao, intoxicated by the stir of emotions Sehun was sending through him.

“You won’t tell me where we are going?” he asked and Sehun sported a grin “Do you not trust me anymore? You've followed me blindly before” 

"And I’m glad I did,” Tao spoke, standing close, maybe too close for normal, but he didn’t care.

“Me too” Sehun muttered as they wandered around in silence. The Christmas lights weren’t too suffocating to Sehun, rather they reflected him now, maybe what he saw in Tao. 

“You wanted to tell me something” Sehun cautiously let out, as they made their way to the fountain on the town square. Tao didn’t answer but slandered towards the ledge “Johnny confessed to me” he spoke as he sat down with a sniffle. Sehun’s heart dropped, and he sat down beside Tao in silence. So that’s why Johnny texted him. 

"He’s loved me for so long” Tao continued, staring at his hands “And I didn’t even know”. He looked up at Sehun “He made me feel loved” Tao confessed, and Sehun’s heart stopped beating. Johnny can’t have broken their deal, he said Tao was all his? 

"He told me you could make me feel just as loved” 

Sehun sat frozen. He had no idea how to react. Instead, he watched the ground. Watched how one single snowflake landed there. Another landed on his pants, contrasting the black material “Sehun” Tao spoke, and Sehun looked at him and noticed how the snow, the first snow, fell around Tao, how beautiful he looked. Red cheeks, red nose from the cold. Jet black hair decorated with the snowflakes, as had angels themselves picked them out and put them there. He could only stare, stare at Tao who was breathtaking.

"I wanna be loved” Tao confessed, and a warmth spread throughout Sehun “You’ve already shown me a way to live through this” he gestured at the city around them, but Sehun’s eyes never left him “Sehun-” 

"Tao” Sehun blurted out, finally gathering words to speak. He moved closer to Tao if that was even possible. “I love you” he spoke, and the words hit Tao differently from what Johnny’s had. There was no guilt, and the only sound Tao heard was his heartbeat. Their black jackets were getting covered with snow, but neither felt cold. 

Sehun dug through a pocket “I got something for you” he spoke, and he held out a small box “An early present” he reasoned, but both knew it was a lie. Tao opened the box, and his breath hitched as he saw the golden necklace inside. A small sun and moon were attached, decorated with black stones. 

"Here,” Sehun spoke and moved to help Tao put it on. He loosened Tao’s tie, and undid the first two buttons, and put the necklace around Tao’s neck. 

"here, now you can see it,” he commented, looking at Tao again.

Tao had no words, only a “Thank you” left his mouth, but Sehun didn’t mind. With a smile, he took Tao’s and hand in his and helped up from the ledge “Come” he said “What?” 

"We’re not there yet” Sehun explained and began leading Tao to their destination hand in hand through the snow. Standing in front of the club, Tao was hesitant, but with Sehun’s hand holding his, he gained enough courage to be a part of Sehun’s world. 

After arriving at Sehun’s apartment at the break of dawn, after having spent the night with Sehun's friend, Sehun loved Tao as he had always wanted to. 

When Sehun took off his shirt, Tao saw the same necklace he was wearing, hanging from Sehun’s neck. His heart burst, and he wasn’t what that feeling was, but he was all giddy.

Sehun moved to open Tao’s shirt and when he saw the fading hickeys on Tao’s body, after taking it off, jealousy got the best of him. 

"Did he do that?” he asked Tao as he traced them with his fingers.

It sent shivers down Tao’s back and he leaned his head on Sehun’s shoulder and nodded. Sehun put his lips to Tao’s neck and placed kisses on all of the hickeys, covering them with his own.

He was grateful for Johnny stepping down, yet feeling as though his lover had been dirtied. Tao was his, and no one else was allowed to put marks on him anymore. He was his and he was Tao’s. Tao’s bright smile when Sehun pushed him down on the bed had Sehun’s heart burst. He held Tao tighter than he ever had, and let his love for Tao shine through. He spoke the words over and over, wanting to let Tao know he loves him more than Johnny. That he would love him for a long time and never let him doubt that. He'll be better than Johnny, better than what Kris could only dream of.

Finally, he had Tao, and wouldn’t let him go again. Was someone to make a move, he’d lock Tao up, and keep him hidden from them. Finally, he had someone to hold him in the cold winter, someone to love, someone to make him whole. Finally, he got his happy ending, and no one was going to take it away from him again. 

Finally the question “What are we?” got an answer.

"Boyfriends” 

Johnny welcomed Ten with bloodshot eyes and the faint smell of weed “You look horrible” Ten commented with a disgusted expression.

Johnny gave him a snicker and let him in. 

"What happened?” Ten asked and placed his bags by the door. Johnny didn’t answer but walked to the balcony. Despite the cold weather, he still went outside and looked out on the city. Ten followed him, and he looked at Johnny and the tears that fell from his eyes. Johnny didn’t wipe them away but let them dry out on his skin, had they had been falling for hours now. 

"It hurts” he croaked out between his trembling lips “It hurts so bad” and closed his eyes.
Ten placed a comforting hand on Johnny’s back, and let it caress it. He knew what had happened, Johnny had shortly texted him about it a few days ago

“I’m happy it happened” Johnny croaked out “But at the same time” he looked at Ten, whose heart broke at the raw emotion on his friend’s face “it hurts so bad”. The sobs were suffocating as they spilled from Johnny’s mouth and Ten wanted nothing more but to cradle him in his arms “Wanna talk about it?” he cautiously asked instead. Johnny sunk a painful lump in his throat “I made a stupid deal” Johnny confessed and began to explain to Ten what happened 

"I just…” he croaked out after finishing explaining. The cigarette he had lit earlier, was burning down between his fingers. 

"I thought it’d be different” Tears fell quietly down his face. Snow slowly began to fall, but Johnny’s eyes were on his hands.

"I didn’t think it would happen, and now he knows, but I can’t….” He placed his head on his hands for a moment, taking in a deep breath, and then turned to look at the snow falling

"I’m happy… I’m so ing happy it happened” 

"But why, why does it hurt so much?” 

His bloodshot eyes turned to Ten whose breath hitched. 

"Why?” Johnny sobbed out and fell to the ground. He put his knees up and his head into his hands, crying his heart out, had the world around him disappeared. Speechless Ten crouched down beside him and pulled Johnny to him. He cradled him in his arms, letting him cry in comfort, knowing what Johnny had experienced. Knowing it had been bittersweet.  

Because he had experienced it as well.

Kris stared out of his window, watching as the snow fell. He picked up his phone and called Tao again, knowing he had to leave soon and had to say goodbye to Tao before that. 

"Welcome to voicemail” the phone sounded, and he ended the call again. His head was empty yet thoughts were running wild. He sat down by his desk again, thinking of a way to see Tao. 

Yuta and Sicheng were at a cafe when they saw the snow fall. They had been on a date and had gone to a cafe after it was over, wanting to get away from the cold, and the snow made it all much better. “I love you” Yuta spoke as he stared at Sicheng “I love you too” he answered.

In another cafe nearby Kyungsoo, Jongin and Baekhyun were watching it as well. Kyungsoo and Jongin were lovingly speaking to each other, but in love with the white snowflakes, while Baekhyun stirred his coffee, not as amazed with the snow as the couple. Instead, he wondered what Chanyeol was doing at this time. Was he alright? Did he have friends in the states? Did he ever think about him anymore?

No, he thought and tore his eyes from the snow. 

He probably didn’t.

Believing he was ruining the couple’s date, he bid them farewell and a small smile and left the cafe, and even though it was nearing Christmas, the Townsquare was almost empty, and once again his mind went to Chanyeol. They had once taken a picture there, back when they had just started going out. Back when Chanyeol didn’t have to leave, back when he still loved him. 

Even though he knew Chanyeol didn’t care about him, he couldn’t help but take a picture of the fountain and post it to his SNS page with an “I miss that time”, being the melancholic person he had now become. It wasn’t just the break-up that hurt. It was the fact that they had once been best friends and now they were nothing. He looked at the snow on the ground, instead of the snow falling as he walked home.

Lucas and Jungwoo hadn’t even noticed it was snowing as they were cuddled up on the couch back at Jungwoo’s place watching movies with snacks covering the whole coffee table. Jungwoo was leaning onto Lucas' chest while stuffing his face with popcorn, having laid like that for hours now. Neither cared about the snow, it was nice and cozy in the small living room. Just the two of them and their snacks. 

Doyoung was in the kitchen watching as Jeno, Jaemin and their friends were hanging out in the living room. A smile was on his face as he looked at his brother who was happy and smiling as well. There was nothing more important than that. Doyoung looked out of the window, watching the snow that had fallen for hours now. A figure was making its way towards the house and he walked to the front door. 

"Donghyuck, someone’s here for you” he spoke as he opened the door and revealed Mark standing on the other side. 

Donghyuck’s eyes widened as he saw him stand in a large coat and scarf, sniffing because of the cold with snowflakes melting in his hair “Can I come in?” he asked, not asking Doyoung or Jeno, but Donghyuck, who hesitantly nodded “Welcome back”. A small smile was on Mark’s face and he took off outerwear and joined the others in the living room.  

Jaehyun had woken up to Ten calling him unable to get in contact with Taeyong. 

He tried to call Taeyong as well but gave up after having called him the 5th time with no luck. He hoped it wasn’t true, but he was sure Taeyong had seen him and Doyoung at the ball, why else wouldn’t he answer his calls? 

"Of course you can try and explain to Taeyong what we were doing…” 

"Please be okay” he muttered as he looked out of his window. The snow only grew, and it was late now. The whole day he spent his time worrying about Taeyong. 

"I hope you’re hurting”

"He probably hates me now. There’s no way he’ll want me back” he muttered to himself in frustration and regret. He wanted to punch something, both angry at Doyoung and at himself. 

He had no other choice but to go see him if he wouldn’t answer his calls, so Jaehyun pulled himself together and went to his house. The snow was falling and it was already unbearably cold as it was. 

Was he really going to tell Taeyong the truth? About Jeno and Doyoung? The sudden urge to turn around and go home showed up, and Jaehyun almost did so, yet managed to have enough self-control to keep moving towards his house. 

When he rang the doorbell, it was Taeyong mother who opened the door 

"Oh Jaehyun!” she exclaimed with glee.

"Mrs. Lee..." he greeted.
 

Chanyeol stared out of the window, glad he had been moved to a private room. Now he didn’t have to worry about whether or not he could sleep or get a place by the window.

Even here the snow was falling, and so it had been for hours. In his lap were pieces of paper and in his hand was a pen, yet he wasn’t writing anything. He didn’t know what to write beside “Sorry” over and over again. He placed his hand on the cold window, and let his mind wander. He wished he wasn’t feeling guilty, wished he could actually convince it was for the better, but as he saw Baekhyun’s post, he no longer could. 

"Mr. Park” A woman in a white uniform spoke from the doorway “It’s time to sleep, you have to get ready for tomorrow” she continued as she entered the room “Mhm” he answered and let her take the pen and paper from Chanyeol and place them on a table nearby.

"Who’s the letter for?” she asked “It’s not-” he started out, but she saw right through him “It doesn’t matter,” he said instead. 

As they sat there at the venue, she accidentally dropped her fork.

Reaching down beneath the table, she saw something she shouldn't have seen, yet too stunned at the scene, she didn't say anything