A/N- I'm back! I'm sorry it took so long, school started, and then I fell sick, so I couldn't really work on the story, but here it is! Idk why, but I feel like it's a bit different from the rest 

After the night at Johnny's, Tao didn’t ask about the guy, nor tell Kris about it. He didn't have a chance to as he rarely joined them at lunch. He was somehow too busy with something which Tao didn't yearn to know at all. He knew he wouldn’t like the answer, so for the time being it was okay that it was Johnny and him eating together. 

The usual suspects once again after the weekend asked him if Johnny had opened up, to which Tao answered “Yes” and explained what Johnny had told him.

"So, do you know who it was?” Baekhyun asked after Tao had finished talking. He was dangling his legs as he sat in the window of the classroom while Yuta and Sicheng sat on two desks “Who the stranger is?” Tao questioned, to which Baekhyun nodded “No I don’t” Tao answered

"Kris even offered to tell me, he even offered to tell Johnny,” he explained

"But Johnny didn’t want to know, so neither do I” the three nodded at his answer “So nothing has changed?” Yuta asked, and Tao stared at him somewhat confused “What should’ve changed?” he asked, and as Yuta was about to speak, Sicheng nudged him with an elbow and spoke

"You know what he did at the first party, don’t you feel disturbed?” he asked while Yuta was throwing him a look. Sicheng didn't care though and held his focus on Tao who thought for a while. In the beginning, it did disturb him, but Tao knew Johnny felt ing terrible and guilty about it. He also knew that the stranger had forgiven him, so he didn't think about it too much.

"To be honest I don’t. I know that Johnny and the guy ended on good terms, even though Taeyong caught them”

The three looked at each other, discussing something just by staring at each other. Baekhyun turned back to Tao “Well, it’s great Johnny finally opened up about it” he spoke with a strained smile.

When Tao got home that day he went to his room to study. The midterms were coming up soon and due to everything that has been happening lately, he hasn’t been able to study. Tao was not an excellent student, he had difficulties in most subjects, but always tried his best even if he wasn't getting the top grades.

He considered asking Kris if he wanted to study together at the library during the weekend, but he wasn’t sure. Kris had been avoiding him, and he was scared that he'd reject it. He could ask him to come over now, but wouldn't that be too risky? It shouldn't be since they're best friends, but with Kris, it somehow was. Should he ask Sehun instead? He’s probably good at studying as well. Tao could almost see it. Sehun with reading glasses on. Sat at a desk, taking notes and highlighting text in different books, as a lamp lit up the desk and his face.

A smile made its way onto his face, what a sight that would be. He had never seen him study either, so maybe that’s what he’s like? It could be that he doesn’t study at all and nails the tests like the genius he might be.

Kris on the hand studies a lot. Not too much though. Only to the point where you could tell he was serious about school, but not a nerd. He never turns in assignments late, never fails to read out loud in class, and he still makes mistakes at times. Sometimes he misspells. Sometimes he solves a problem wrong, doesn’t use correct grammar, but he always makes sure to make up for it. He listens to the teachers’ feedback, and studies what he lacks.

When neither of them understood something, Kris would always tear himself through the entire theory, step by step until he did, and teach Tao the next day. That's what Tao loves about him, and why he loves studying with him. He's ambitious.

He’s also fixated on getting what he wants Tao realized. He doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants. It’s quite admirable, isn’t it? 

"Even if I have to fight it, I’ll go against it”

Tao’s face heated up, and he covered it with his hands “Oh god” He let out in realization.

Those words. Those words he had spoken to Tao with confidence and determination. He actually said he’d go against the universe for Tao. He actually said that. Tao got up from his desk and began to pace around in panic. Does that mean that no matter how much Tao pushes Kris away, he’d still hold on? No matter what happens he’ll still be there? No matter what comes between them? No matter how much the universe tries to pull them apart, he’ll pull through and grab Tao?

He sat down on his bed. It must be. It must be like that. Kris broke up with his girlfriends whenever they came between them. Whenever they said they disliked Tao, or whenever they got in a fight.

Kris held on the last time Tao ran away, and as well when he opened up to Tao not too long ago.

Does that mean he’s Kris’ first priority? He was still covering his mouth with his hands, but let his back hit the bed and began to wiggle around as some lovestruck teenager who had never had a crush before. Mostly because that was the case. Tao hadn't liked anyone before, he didn't know how to control his feelings. He began squealing, and tried to hide it by throwing his face onto his pillow and let it all out.

He’s Kris’ number 1 priority! How could he not act like that?!

It doesn’t even matter if it’s only as a best friend, he’s Kris number 1 and that’s all that matters. No matter what, no matter who, he’d choose Tao. That’s what counts. That's what counts.

After he had somewhat calmed down, he turned around and stared up at the ceiling

"I should study,” he stated with a sigh after a while of zoning out.

He went and sat down at his desk, but as he did so, there was a knock on his door. He turned to see his father opening the door.

“Hey,” he greeted Tao “Hey, you’re back early.” His father stepped inside the room “Yeah, well we are nearing Christmas faster than anticipated”

"Then shouldn’t you be busier?” His father shrugged with a smile “That’s for another day” Tao sighed at that. His father knew how to run a business, how to be a stern and scary boss, but he was also kind.

"Also I had to let you know that I’ve invited The Son family to dinner in a few days” Tao’s heart dropped at this “The Son’s? Son Seungwan’s family?” he asked and tried to cover his dislike for it “Yes”

Tao sighed again, god he didn’t want to meet her, especially because it was an arranged marriage. Who the even does that anymore? Jesus, why did they bring it with them when they moved here? Should have left it in China.

"I know you’re not a fan of the idea, but I want our families to be on good terms alright?”

Why does it have to be through marriage though?

"I know you don’t like it, but look at your mom and I. We’re in love and we had an arranged marriage as well”

"You’re also lucky you found someone you matched perfectly with,” Tao sighed

"Tao, you barely know her, and I felt the same way when I first met your mom”

Tao nodded in silence.

His father let out a sigh and looked at him with a soft expression. He put a comforting hand on Tao’s knee “If there’s anything on your mind, don’t be afraid to tell me, okay?” Tao nodded and croaked out a “Yeah”

His father looked at him, expecting something to come out of Tao’s mouth, but as nothing did, he let out a sigh and got up “Well, if that’s all, I’ll leave you be”

"Mhm,” Tao let out. His father lingered by the door for a moment before leaving and closing the door softly behind him.

Tao stared at it for a moment before turning back to study.

He waited for Johnny and Kris by their classroom when lunch came around. He wanted to tell them about yesterday.

"Are you ready?” He asked them as they emerged, and Johnny nodded while Kris had a guilty expression on his face

"I have to go do something, so I can’t” He spoke, and began to leave. Johnny glared at him, ing annoyed with his secrecy while Tao was just, disappointed.

"He is so ing weird lately” Johnny scoffed as they watched him leave “Yeah” Tao sighed “Let’s just go” he gestured with a hand and began to his way to the canteen

"I have to tell you something” he spoke and Johnny glanced at him “What’s up?” Tao let out a sigh, damn he's really sighing a lot lately.

"My father invited the Son family to dinner later this week” Johnny raised an eyebrow "The Son family? The fam whose daughter you’re…?” he hinted, and Tao sighed “Yeah”

"Oh damn”

After school, he asked Kris if he wanted to study together later that week, even today if possible. Kris accepted so they went to the library to study, and it was perfect. Perfect until Kris had to go

They were sitting side by side as they went over everything they hadn’t understood during the first half-year of school. Mostly things Tao didn’t understand.

Kris was amazing at explaining things as usual and got almost as happy as Tao when he finally understood it. If there was one subject besides math and English that Tao had the most difficulties with, it was Korean. Of course, he could speak and write it after having lived in Korea for so long, but he still kept struggling with grammar and writing essays.

He'd often have Kris proof-read his assignments, and he would always shake his head at Tao's mistakes and lightly hit him with his paper.

Currently Tao was struggling through a grammar exercise and turned to Kris for help

"Hey Kris, how do you-” he started out, and at the same moment Kris got a text, Tao didn't know about what, but it caused him to pack up his things and say “I have to go, sorry”

"O-okay?” Tao could only voice as Kris gave him a small wave as he left.

Tao looked back at the exercises. How the hell was he gonna figure it out now?

"Oh, Tao?” a voice sounded, and Tao looked up to see Doyeon approaching him. He slightly began to panic as he remembered he had rejected her “Hey” he spoke softly “What are you doing?” she asked coming to a stop in front of the table.

"Studying for the midterms, but I’m kind of giving up” he answered with a light laugh, feeling somewhat embarrassed “Oh, is that so?" She only commented "Me too, I was actually about to leave” she continued “Well, then I won’t take up your time” he let out

"It’s fine," she dismissed with a hand "What are you studying?”

He drummed his pencil on the page of his book “Uhm, Korean. I’m stuck at an exercise on the Korean Grammatics…” he spoke, embarrassed “Ah, do you want help?” she offered. Tao stared at her with a confused expression "Weren’t you about to leave?”

"It’s fine, I don’t mind” she spoke with a small smile. How could she still smile after what happened last year? He couldn't help but wonder

“Can I sit down?” she asked, gesturing towards Kris’ chair, well the chair he had occupied, it’s not his chair, he doesn’t own it- Shut up Tao!

He let out a light laugh, hoping it didn't sound too awkward  "Yeah of course” and Doyeon sat down and began to explain the exercise. 

Tao couldn't help but sit in wonder as to how Doyeon could easily smile like that, how she could even face him after what he had said to her. Looking at her, how she was smiling, how her eyes sparkled, no one would be able to guess that Tao had rejected her. That he had caused her to cry, and even been in a fight with her friend because of it. It was as if it had never happened. She just sat there, explaining the Grammatics with a soft smile, no heaviness in her eyes at all. He couldn’t help but admire her for that. Had it been him, he would have run far away, not help him study.

Taeyong was still quiet at lunch, and the others noticed how his silence went from passive-aggressive to downright depressed. Doyoung didn’t want to care, nor did he want to ask why already knowing who was the cause of it. Instead, he held a conversation with the others, ignoring Taeyong’s depressive mood. At least trying to. He did see how Taeyong would glance towards Jaehyun's table and how he’d let out a sigh, tearing his eyes away from him to glare at his food. It was almost too easy to see who had caused him to get all sad. Doyoung rolled his eyes as Taeyong let out yet another sigh.

"Would you be so kind as to shut the up if you’re not gonna say what the is wrong?” Doyoung snapped, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. Taeyong tensed up but didn’t look at him. The group sat speechless.

"Doyoung?!” Baekhyun gasped while the rest ónly stared “What?” Doyoung questioned with a shrug, “He’s tensing the whole ing table being silently pissed and now he’s depressing us all!” Taeyong only stared at his food.

"Leave him alone” Yuta voiced having no argument. Doyoung scoffed at his comment “You know it’s true, but none of you dared ing bring it up!”

"Doyoung leave it!” Baekhyun hissed “Fine! I’m just saying he’s the one at fault right now and I just want it to be clear. It’s pissing me off how you’re all protecting him” he scoffed for the last time and left the table. The group watched him leave with a shocked expression “Is there something we don’t know about?” Mark whispered to Yuta who dismissed his question.

"Taeyong-” Baekhyun softly started out, but the mentioned one stopped him

"Don’t” he gestured with a hand “He’s right” he muttered and went back to his food. The others shared a look of concern but agreed to let it die there.

Johnny compared to Taeyong was slowly getting better. Both by texting Ten, and by talking with Tao. It wasn’t a lot better though. He was still scared of facing Taeyong and talking to him, but getting everything off of his chest during the conversation with Tao helped him breathe just a bit more.

One thing was getting on his nerves though even if he could let it go. He could ignore it but seeing the disappointment in Tao’s eyes every day at the same time, made him unable to. 

Yes, it was Kris that was getting on his nerves.

He confronted Kris about ditching them but got nothing out of him.

"Johnny, don’t” He had spoken when Johnny had him alone in their classroom. Johnny didn't care though “Really, don’t” Kris continued, tail between his legs and a guilty look on his face “Why?” Johnny threw back “Why not? You’re ignoring us lately, you don’t give us a reason why-you’re not even denying that you’re ignoring us!” Johnny ranted “Do you really think it’s okay for you to do?! To leave Tao in the dark after you promised him you wouldn’t?!”

Kris didn’t answer. He knew it wasn’t okay, and Johnny knew that. He still asked though hoping Kris would crumble under the guilt but he didn’t.

"Fine, be that way, but I won’t help you next time you need your name cleared!” Johnny ended and turned to leave the room. He couldn’t stop himself from turning back though. He grabbed Kris by his collar and pushed him against a desk. It made a horrible sound as it scraped across the floor due to the force of Johnny's push “You’re a complete you know that!?” He shouted at Kris.

Kris stared at him with wide eyes as Johnny glared at him. He gripped the edge of the desk tight as it was slowly moving from underneath him. He didn't speak up. He didn't know what to say because it was the truth.

"I hope Tao one day realizes how full of you are and leaves you for good!” Johnny growled and pushed him one last time against the desk. It slipped away from underneath Kris and he landed on the floor with a loud thud.

Johnny then left the room, leaving Kris to think it all over and clean it all up

“Kris?” a soft voice spoke in concern, seeing him on the floor

"Coming” he spoke with a smile that left his face as soon as he turned away from her. He got and fixed the desk before walking to the door

 "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, don't worry" he assured with a soft smile, placing her hand in his. 

"What took you so long?” Tao asked Johnny when he finally came to the table

"Nothing just had something to do-” Tao scoffed and Johnny stopped mid-sentence. Not the right answer. “Had a talk with Kris” he admitted. Tao’s eyes widened a bit and Johnny hated it “Don’t get your hopes up… he didn’t say anything”

"Oh…”

"I’m sorry, I tried”

"And I appreciate that” 

They ate in silence. Once in a while they talked about music or the shows they’d been watching, when Tao spotted someone in the distance. He didn’t have to call out to them as they spotted him as well and made their way towards the table

"Tao” Doyeon greeted him and turned to Johnny “Hey” she greeted with a small wave before turning back to Tao

"How did your studying go yesterday? Could you figure the rest out?” she asked and Tao nodded with a grateful smile “Yeah, somewhat, thank you for helping me”

"It’s nothing, really" She dismissed "If you need help just come find me at the library. I’m usually there after school”

"Okay, sure! I’ll do that, thank you” he said with a smile “I’ll leave then” she let out and went back to her friends. Tao finally noticed the confused expression on Johnny’s face

"She helped me study yesterday”

"I thought you were studying with Kris?” He asked with a raised eyebrow “He…” Tao started out “You….know… left” he gestured and Johnny nodded

"He’s getting weirder every day” he commented.

Taeyong was leaving the school and what Doyoung had yelled at him, still rang in his head.

He let out a sigh. Yes, he was at fault, but Doyoung, Doyoung doesn't get it! How could he understand what he's going through? He lifted his head and spotted Doyoung leaving school, and at that moment, the frustration and annoyance he felt had him call out to him.

"You’re right!” he shouted and Doyoung turned around to face him “Even though it’s none of your business! You were right!” Taeyong continued and a small smirk made its way to Doyoung’s face. He didn’t need to ask what he was right about

"What about it?” He taunted as he began to make his way towards Taeyong

"It’s my business and mine only, so stay out of it!” Taeyong shouted, and Doyoung snickered,  the smirk on his face growing “And if I don’t want to?” he snickered. Taeyong was at boiling point, but tried to keep his calm, trying to not blow up “Well then, Who’s Jeno?” he countered. The smirk on Doyoung’s lips immediately faltered, and all color left his face. After a moment of shock though, a threatening glare came into sight.

"It’s-”

"None of my business?” Taeyong interrupted, crossing his arms. Doyoung scoffed, but couldn’t counter him “Neither is my affair with Jaehyun, yet here you are!”

"You can’t compare those two at all!” Doyoung shouted at Taeyong. He had made his way towards Taeyong in large steps and grabbed him by the collar.

"Jeno has nothing, nothing to do with you!” he growled “Nothing at all!” Taeyong despite his heart banging loudly, stared at Doyoung with a calm face “And Jaehyun does to you?” Doyoung’s eyes widened for a second, "Jaehyun!-Yes, yes he does” he stuttered, He almost said too much, more than Taeyong needed to know. Luckily he was able to stop himself from making that kind of mistake. He believes himself to be someone who does not let emotions take over.

He harshly pushed Taeyong away and left in a hurry. Taeyong, though angry, couldn’t be more satisfied. Finally he knew what pushed Doyoung’s buttons.

Tao pushed his door open, causing it to slam into his closet. He let out a frustrated sigh and threw his blazer onto his bed, then turned around, slamming the door shut and sat down on the bed with a heavy sigh. Everything inside him was restless. His head was heating up to a boiling point, wanting to let everything out. He took in a deep breath trying to calm down, but in his head was nothing but frustration.

He placed his face in his hands, closing his eyes and tried to steady his breath “I can do this” he whispered “I can do this”

As you can sense, the dinner did not go the way Tao had wanted it to.

"It’s good to see you Son” Tao’s father had greeted the man after they had arrived at the restaurant. Tao fidgeted in his clothes as the greeting happened. The black dress pants, dark blue shirt, and blazer did not feel comfortable at all. Nor did the black coat he wore over his clothes. He felt way too stiff, too fake. The only thing that held him down to earth was the cold biting into his fingertips. How could Sehun ever stand wearing these things every day? It was torture and like a burden on his shoulders. He took in a deep breath and turned back to reality

By Mr. Son’s side stood a middle-aged woman Mrs. Son and their daughter Son Seungwan. He locked eyes with her and gave her a friendly smile which she returned. The smile he gave her felt fake as well. He wasn't that happy, he wasn't comfortable. Did she feel the same way perhaps? Trapped and drowning? Chains held by her parents holding her down? 

"Let’s get inside” Tao’s father spoke and the two men led the way, already in a deep conversation. Seungwan looked towards them, eyes lively and not empty or foggy like Tao's. The Mrs' followed their husbands, leaving Tao and Seungwan to walk behind them. Tao glanced up at the dark sky before completely entering the building, hoping it would go well.

"Nice to meet you again Seungwan” Tao greeted as they sat down on opposite side- She smiled lightly “Me too, but call me Wendy” she spoke “O-okay” Tao stammered. From then on the conversation between them was minimal. Tao ended up observing the dinner set-up. They were sitting at a dark wooden table with a chandelier above it, as soft music played in the background. Seungwan and Tao sat opposite as did the four adults. On his right was his mother, on his left was his father. He hated it. He didn't like to sit in the middle as it only had him feel even more trapped.

He looked around the restaurant. Everyone else looked just like him. All dressed in suits and beautiful dresses, yet why was he the only one who actually seemed to feel out of place? Why was he the only one whose expression exposed what he really felt? 

In this pricey and beautiful building, sitting with his family, surrounded by people with the same background as him, why did he feel out of place? Why did he feel as though he didn’t belong there?

Tao let it drown out as the dinner was served. 

"So Tao” Mr. Son’s voice sounded, ripping Tao from his thoughts “You’re about to graduate from high school?” he asked and Tao nodded “Yes sir” he answered. His heart hammered inside his chest, knowing one wrong answer would have his father send him a disappointed look.

"What are you going to do afterward?”

He shifted in his seat and stopped eating for a moment to answer "I’m going to study business with a focus on marketing and economics at university”

Mr. Son nodded in approval and Tao let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in. He asked Tao a few more questions before giving Tao’s father a silent approval of him. An approval Tao could have lived without. He hated himself for voicing his dislike, yet playing his part when he needs to. Whenever his father needed him to be the “perfect” son, he was.

No matter how much he hated it, or how his future was slowly being planned out by those around him, he did it. Chained down, having no choice but to follow through. With every question he answered and approving smile, he heard the chains clang as they tightened around his body.

"You should be proud to have a son like him” He spoke, and Tao felt his heart drop when his father spoke “Oh, I am” with a smile. Tao sported a smile which he hoped came off as flattered and not pressured, but the taste of vomit in his mouth was there.

"I would love for our families to meet again”  Mr. Son spoke as he and Tao’s father shook hands. The dinner was over and they were about to part ways, and Tao wanted nothing more but to get home. The cold was seeping into his bones as the suit did nothing to keep his body warm.

"It would be a pleasure” His father replied with a smile “Let’s set up a business meeting though” Son spoke, and Tao's throat closed up. That meant that the engagement was getting closer and that his path into the business was set. The chains were tightening. No matter how much he hated it though, he knew the seriousness of it all. He knew much it meant for his father and the company, so no matter how much he wanted to throw everything away and leave, the smile on his parents’ faces as they bid the Son’s goodbye, kept him from it.

He hated the way his family complimented them as they were driving home. How his mother would let out a soft laugh as they discussed the pair. How she planned to meet Mrs. Son, or Soohyun later that week. 

He hated how they had taken a hold of his future, but what he hated the most, was the way he hated it. He was frustrated with his parents, and their way of securing him a good future. They only wanted the best for him. He didn’t want to hate anything about his family, yet what they were doing was wrong, wasn’t it?

Even if it was for the best.

He whispered another “I can do it”, encouraging himself to keep up the facade to make his parents proud. To put family first. 

"Don't worry Tao, you can do it" he whispered, but then why was his voice strained? Why did he feel like crying? "You can do it" he whispered again.

What if he couldn't? How would he be able to pretend to love someone who's impossible for him to love? How would he be able to lie his whole life? 

"What troubles a young guy like you- except living a life that isn't yours?" Sehun's voice sounded in Tao's head. "We are more alike than you think" That's right. Sehun, Sehun knows what it's like. He's the only one who understands him. What would Sehun do in this situation? When the world was weighing him down, when people's expectation caged him? He had gone to Tao. "-follow me if you wanna live your life" he had found Tao and let go of reality in that moment, living his life.

A knock sounded on his door followed by a “Tao” from his father. His voice wasn’t angry, not disappointed, just concerned “Tao” it sounded again when Tao didn’t answer him. He didn't move, but looked at the door, waiting for the man to force his way in.

"Honey” Tao’s mom’s voice sounded instead “Leave Taozi be” she softly inquired. It was silent for a moment, and honestly Tao thought they had left. He was quietly shifting when his father spoke "I...just" with a sigh that carried a heaviness Tao had never heard before, yet he couldn't make himself care. All he wanted, was to escape. To leave in the night and find comfort from the man, the only man who knew what he was going through.

"I know," his mother comforted "but you know what it’s like” she reasoned. Tao could hear them slowly walk away from his room. He sat still, waiting for them to be completely gone “Yes, and I wanted my father to be there for me” His father's distant voice sounded "Taozi is not you” 

"I suppose not...” Was the last thing Tao managed to hear before the conversation fell out completely. 

Tao got up from his bed, heart beating loudly inside his chest. He went to his window and stared at the night sky 

"Let's escape our future together" Sehun had offered and Tao had accepted it 

"Yeah, let's do that" 

He pulled up Sehun's contact and Tao left his house later that night after his parents had gone to sleep. 

Cradled in Sehun's arms that night he thanked him. Told him he was grateful he had him. Grateful for having met him, so that he no longer had to feel alone in this world. To know someone would be there when they'd grow older who'd understand him. Someone to distract him and pull him from reality. That night Sehun didn't feel too cold as well.

"Don't ever leave me" Tao begged him "Wouldn't dream of it" he assured him, and pulled him closer, ignoring the winter threatening to turn to December.

"What are we?"

"Whatever you want" 

How many would be grateful for the snow when it falls? 

Who'd look forward to a new beginning when January comes? 

One was. Standing outside on his balcony, waiting for the snow to fall, he yearned for a fresh start. This time he would smile more and be more friendly. This time he'd be honest about himself and towards his friends. 

Another one was sitting inside his room dreading the snow, hoping he could rewind time and fix his mistakes. Today and tomorrow would be too late. He did hope though, that the new year would bring him moments to reset, for him to make up for the mistakes he had done. For the universe to give him another chance.

Some didn't even care about it. The point of the first snow didn't matter to them. Of course, they yearned to fix things but would a new year really help? Over a month is still left and so they still had time to set things straight.

Taeyong with Jaehyun, and Johnny. Mark with Haechan. Even Doyoung with Taeyong though both would deny having a problem.

Ten also needed to clear things up, but when and how?