A/N: Hello! Here's the update! I got kind of sidetracked and lost a bit of motivation for like a day or two bc I just rewatched love by chance and got so motivated to write a continuation after the ending for TinCan (which I did), because that ending hurt a lot, and maybe that's why the chapter is the way it is hehe...

“Seems like it’s the usual suspects” Tao muttered as they; Johnny, Baekhyun, Yuwin couple, and himself were making their way to his house. He was practically dragging Baekhyun with him by having his arm around the latter’s shoulders. 

“Seems so” Johnny commented, letting out a sigh

“I will get the others next time!” Tao let out confidently, causing the rest to smile softly

“Okay panda” Yuta commented with a grin “You do you”

“Okay, here we are. We’ve got snacks and drinks now everyone freaking talk” Tao urged as they were all sitting down in the living room of Tao’s home. Yuta and Sicheng were cuddling in one end of the L formed couch while Baekhyun placed himself in the corner placing his leg in front of his face and holding a pillow in his arms. Johnny sat down beside him but not too close and Tao sat in a chair diagonally across from Baekhyun on the other side of the coffee table.  

“So who wants to start?” 

Silence. Tao glanced at others, who were all averting his eyes when he caught their attention. He let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair “Then I’ll start” he spoke with a sigh “ went down at the party” he continued as he glanced around

 “1. I left I know, that’s on me, I left for Sehun” there was a soft smile on his face  “2. Yuta and Sicheng, you had a fun night it seemed”

 “3!” He spoke, voice changed from playful to serious “Kris did something, that he’s ashamed of and 4 Johnny you’re involved in it” he spoke and held eye contact with Johnny, who averted his eyes and turned his head downwards, but Tao kept staring  “5. You also did something else which we need to find the answers to-” 

“Don’t think abo-” Johnny tried to speak, but Tao continued

”6! Baekhyun what happened?” and Baekhyun curled into an even smaller ball than he was

“What happened to you? You’re worse than before. I’m seriously ing worried” Tao let out a sigh

“And does anyone know what’s wrong with Mark?” 

“I don’t think we should talk about Mark’s situation” Johnny softly spoke, and Tao nodded “And we don’t need to talk about what I did either” Johnny added 

“Why?” Johnny shrugged “Doesn’t matter” he muttered 

“How are we gonna be open to each other when no one dares to speak up?” 

“Tao, you're misunderstanding, the reason why is because I already know” Johnny confessed because hiding his face in his hands “You, you know?” Sicheng dared to ask, and Johnny nodded “Taeyong told me”

The others shifted a bit in their seats, and Tao looked at them with a confused glance “Did he tell you who?” Yuta let out softly “No, but he told me what I did” 

“What happened?” Tao realized he was the only one in the room to not know what happened and couldn’t help but ask the question. 

The 4 turned to him and he glanced at them, settling on Johnny “Nothing you need to know, it’s nothing critical. It’s between me and them” he caught Tao’s eyes “I’m sorry Tao” 

“It’s fine, I guess you’ll tell me someday when it’s relevant,” he said, but there was an anger inside him, a frustration telling him that it wasn’t okay because he was kept in the dark again, and by one of his closest friends. There’s something he can’t know, and he wants to know why, but he can’t. 

“Here” Baekhyun’s soft voice let out as he placed his phone on the coffee table, a chat open, which made the others stare in confusion before Baekhyun gestured for them to take a look, causing them to move towards the phone “You wanted to know” he explained, and they took a look at the screen. 

It was the chat between Baekhyun and Chanyeol, and all they focused on was a message Chanyeol had sent

'Stop texting me'

It was sent on the night of the party

Silence fell between them, as they took in the information.

Tao sat down in his chair again, while the others leaned back on the couch “That’s why…” Baekhyun let out after a while. 

“That er” Johnny muttered “John…” Baekhyun 

“He’s right though Baek. He ” 

The other only his face behind his knees which he had pulled up to his body. 

“I just don’t understand” he whispered “We were fine, we were in love, and then he just withdrew himself” 

The rest of the day went with comforting Baekhyun and creating theories as to why most being he just didn’t love him as much as they had thought. Tao spent that night debating whether he should be a petty as friend and contact Chanyeol, but decided it was out of character and none of his business, because what could he do? Make Chanyeol feel guilty? There’s no way he can make Chanyeol regret it and make him explain himself, that’s up to him, and frankly, Chanyeol didn’t seem like he had the need to explain himself. 

He let out a sigh as he leaned back on his bed staring at the ceiling. Tomorrow he’d have to talk to Kris after their practice tomorrow.

Whenever he thought about what he was hiding, he felt furious but heartbroken. Was he no longer good enough for Kris to be his friend? 

What could he have done that would make him hate Kris? Didn’t Kris know that he could never hate him? At least not for long? No matter what it was, how could he hate him? He’s survived so many episodes where he should hate him, but accepted him, and let it go, so what could it be? And how was Johnny involved? It ruined Kris’ reputation and caused people to be concerned about Johnny? Did he, did he assault Johnny? Tao chuckled at himself “Why would he do that?” but then he thought about it “Why would he?” He repeated as he sat up and wondered. Are they on bad terms? Did Johnny do something? But then why wouldn’t Johnny tell him? Was he really assaulted by Kris? Was it something else? But then what else could cause Kris to be hated and Johnny to be protected? 

“Could it be” He blurted out as the sound of his heartbeat drowned out the rest of his senses. “It couldn’t be…” he let out in a shaky voice, the anxiety crawling through his body and the blood leave his face. He lost grip of the world around him as his mind spiraled into a pit of disturbing thoughts.

“Was he fighting with Johnny because he found out about me?” 

“No” he denied as he got up from his bed and started pacing around his room, trying to stop his hands from shaking, trying not to bite his nails, or scratch his skins with them just to stop himself from falling apart “It couldn’t be” he argued with a shake of his head, but it couldn’t stop his mind from running wild and for his throat to close up and tears to sting in his eyes as he tried to keep them from falling

“There would be rumors about me then” he swallowed a sob “and there isn’t-” he froze for a moment, just standing still, listening to the reason why there could be   

“What, what if there was-?” and then he started pacing again "-But there isn’t because Johnny defended me?” he shook that possibility away “That’s impossible” No way there wouldn’t be rumors or gossip about that if it happened. 

“But did they really fight because of that? Did Kris- did Kris really-” he felt the lump in his throat grow, and the tears push in his eyes which he tried to blink away, hoping they wouldn’t fall and in a broken voice he continued, even if he knew it’d hurt him

“Di-did Kris really freak- out that much?” a tear fell, and suddenly more started falling as he tried to shut out the voice in his head, and bit his lip, trying to prevent the sob that’s pushing its way up, but he couldn’t and when it made its way out, he tried to drown it out by biting his hand “Do-does he hate me-” a sob forced its way out “-so much-” the tears spilling were like a waterfall; they were flowing uncontrollably “-that he-” he swallowed a sob “-that he fought-” it was hard for him to speak as he was choking on the sobs that kept coming “that he fought with Johnny?” he finally managed to let out through his sobbing as he fell to the floor, steadying himself with his left arm, letting the tears fall to the ground through his shut eyes. In a pathetic try of silencing himself, he placed his hand over his mouth, even though it did nothing, and his cry only became more uncontrollable and loud.

“Is that why he’s sure- I’ll hate him?” he let out as he finally got it under control. He was hurting. It was no longer the anxiety that fueled his sudden outburst, but the sudden thought of him being disgusted by him and hating him.

What if they could never be friends? What if he knew about his feelings, but didn’t say anything because they were friends, but felt disgusted by it?

“Is that why he won’t tell me?” he choked out “Because-because he feels disgusted?” 

He sat up and leaned his back on the foot of the bed

“Kris” he choked out, as he pulled his legs to his chest “Kris” he choked out again, hiding his face in his knees “I’m sorry” he sobbed “I’m so, sorry” 

“I’m- sorry” He choked on a sobbed “So, so sorry- for being-” 

“For being m-me” he pulled his knees even closer “I’m so sorry” 

“Please don’t hate me” he whispered in a shaky voice 

“Pl-please don’t- don’t hate me” 

“Pl-please”

"Please..." 

He spoke into the phone 

"P-please..."