A/N: Heeyyyyyy, how are you doing? I'm pretty exhausted. I've got online classes everyday TT. Anyway, as I mentioned in a previous chapter, I want to write 3 specials to celebrate that this fanfic has been going on for 3 years, amazing! And so I decided that if you have any requests for the chapters just comment them down below and I'll take a look at it :D It can be comments and scenes, whatever you had in mind :D. Enjoy the chapter! 

“You really didn’t come back to the party?” echoed in his head. 

They had just finished practice the same day, and he was sitting in the locker room replaying their conversation from earlier 

“No I didn’t, why?” 

“No reason, I just, I kissed someone”

“What’s wrong with that?” 

“I mistook them for someone else, and I think I messed up real bad” 

“Why? It can’t be that bad-” 

“-This person is also the one who took me to the hospital, and no one- apparently- knows who it is” 

“No one?” 

“Apparently!- They’re lying! I'm sure! It’s probably one of our friends, and the reason they’re not telling me is-is!- I don’t know!- And I don’t know who it is if it’s not-” 

“If it’s not..?”

“Nothing, forget it” 

Did he almost expose himself? Yes. Did he almost jeopardize their friendship? supposedly. He was the last person in the locker room, or so he thought, but as he dried his hair, with the towel he had around his shoulders, the door opened. 

He looked up to see Taeyong step in. 

“Hey” he spoke with an awkward smile as he sat down beside Johnny 

“Hey” the other muttered, “You wanted to talk?” Taeyong spoke, staring at the lockers instead of looking at Johnny “Mhm” the other answered with a nod “But to be honest, I don’t even know what to say, or where to start” 

“Hmm” Taeyong started “Well whatever it is-” 

“And it’s mostly because I know what you’ll say” Johnny interrupted, causing Taeyong to stare at him in disbelief, but Johnny just held an unreadable stare

“Wh-what do you mean?” Johnny kept staring for a moment before shaking his head

“Never mind that, just have you talked to Ten recently?” Taeyong visibly froze the moment he heard Ten’s name, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Johnny. He watched as Taeyong sat silent for a few moments before sinking a lump in his throat and slowly, cautiously answering

“We talk now and then” and locking eyes with Johnny “why?”, and even if it wasn’t his attention, there was a slight irritation in his voice, something hostile, unconsciously informing Johnny that he shouldn’t have asked about Ten. Johnny already knew this would be a sensitive spot, so he ignored the hostility in his friend’s voice, and took it as an invitation to continue.

“He picked me up from the hospital after the party, and I don’t know,” he let out a sigh “he was not acting like himself, he was tense, and uncomfortable, and just generally stressed out” another sigh let him “he couldn’t hang out either” he cautiously eyed Taeyong’s reaction, which he couldn’t read. The other nodded softly but with an indifferent expression on his face. 

“He’s in college-” he started out glancing shortly at Johnny “-as a dance major, I doubt he has the time to hang out”  

“I guess, I just, he was just so weird, he was the usual Ten at the party, and I’m just worried,” he said with a sigh

Taeyong gave him an unreadable glance, and let out a sigh “He’s fine-” 

“Then why were Hendery and Xiaojun freaking out about something Ten texted Hendery?!” Johnny interrupted him and once again the other shot him a quick glance before turning his view back to the lockers “I don’t know-”

“You don’t know?” Johnny cut in again

“You don’t know?!” He spoke louder “Then-then do you know who I kissed that night?!- Who took me to the hospital?!” At this point, he was standing up yelling at the other “- Cause I see no reason for you to hide it unless it was someone close to me! Or you- or the group!” 

The other got up “John-” 

“I feel so, so disgusted with myself Taeyong” his expression I longer held any anger or hostility, just sorrow, and frustration. He sat down again and hid his face in his hands  “I feel like I ed up real bad ‘cause none of you will tell me who it is” the other glanced around, before settling on Johnny.

“John-” 

“Don’t!” The other spoke, and the hostility was back, but Taeyong could hear him sniffling, and decided it was better if he just kept quiet and let the other rant. He settled down on the floor with his back against the lockers. 

“It’s enough that I thought it was Tao! That’s already enough!” he held back a sob, “I don’t know how many know about this, and I don’t want to be left in the dark, I want to know who it is, so that I…” he took in a shaky breath “So that I can apologize” 

“You can’t” Taeyong mumbled, which made Johnny look at him with his teary eyes “Hmm?” he let out, and Taeyong glanced away from him, guilt starting to build up “You can’t” he spoke louder, staring at Johnny. 

Even if Johnny was a mess because of this, he can’t know, he shouldn’t. Johnny looked onto the floor, tears slowly spilling.

“You can’t know” Taeyong started out again, staring at the floor, unable to look Johnny in the eyes  

“Because if you really don’t remember who it was, it doesn’t matter” he ended with a glance at the other

“But it does” Johnny let out 

“Johnny, let it go, you’re never gonna know who it is” 

“The reason I won't know is because of the fact that I have no friends!"  

“Johnny I’m doing this because I am your friend” 

“Clearly not! Because if you are, why won’t you tell me!”

“Okay!” Taeyong yelled “Okay! Listen here, John! I know this has messed you up, but I’m not gonna tell you who it is! So what if I tell you?! You’ll apologize, then what?! It won’t change what happened to them! Do you think it’ll help them?! It won’t change how they feel!” 

“Yeah! I am doing this for them! But I’m doing it for you too! ‘Cause what will you do when you find out who they are?! How will you act?! What will you do?! They know your feelings so what would it matter to them if you apologize?! They already know!”

“What if they’re my chance to get over Tao?!” 

“No!” Taeyong practically screamed at Johnny, “I won’t tell you just because of a maybe! That’s inconsiderate! Selfish! You’re gonna play with them, just for a maybe?! They are hurting because of you, have you ever tried to consider that?!” 

After that, neither said anything, both turned to face away from the other, Taeyong fuming and Johnny… pitiful.

Taeyong went and leaned onto the lockers, knuckles white from how tight he clenched his fists

“Huh” Johnny’s voice suddenly sounded, rid of any sorrow, any shakiness. Taeyong slowly turned to face Johnny whose back was still facing Taeyong

“So the person is this close to you?” he asked, and Taeyong could clearly hear that Johnny wasn’t sad, not messy, not angry. He stood frozen trying to understand what was going on inside Johnny’s head as the latter turned around with an expression that was nowhere near broken as well. 

“Jo-Johnny?” he managed to stutter out, but the mentioned ignored it 

“I don’t want to play with their feelings if that’s what you’re afraid of Taeyong, I didn’t mean that okay?” he tried to reason, hoping Taeyong wouldn’t explode in his face. The latter started to pace around, fists unclenching “They know that I mistook them for Tao when I kissed them” Johnny continued, seeing Taeyong’s condition but not taking it into consideration “and I just want to apologize for that because I feel ty for kissing them okay? But it’s a kiss, so why can’t I know?”

Taeyong was leaning against the lockers again, back nearly fully turned to Johnny, and he then muttered something Johnny didn’t quite catch “What?” the latter asked, watching Taeyong turn his head, letting him see the tears gathering in his eyes

“You really don’t remember anything?” he asked, with a twisted smile, that freaked Johnny out, who could only shake his head as an answer. Taeyong glanced at the floor shortly, sinking a lump in his throat, and then with a bitter smile spoke 

“It wasn’t just a kiss” there was sorrow in his eyes, but anger too. His lips were quivering, unable to decide whether to smile or not. His brows were furrowed as well 

“What-what do you mean?” The taller let out. It was just a kiss, right? The note, the note only mentioned the kiss.

Taeyong was nearing the door, fists clenched again “It was just a kiss Taeyong?” he spoke, but ended up questioning, and the other shook his head “But the note-” Johnny tried to explain “What note?” Taeyong asked as he stood right in front of the door “The note from the hospital, they left me a note, and they said that no harm was done!” Taeyong shook his head, muttering something to himself, "What?" Johnny let out, not catching what he said. Taeyong held back a sob, shaking his head, and Johnny got the message, it was none of his business. Taeyong took ahold of the doorknob and turned to face Johnny fully “There’s a reason I’m not telling you who it is. Because it wasn’t just a kiss Johnny. Harm was done” he spoke with a glare, and then left. 

You mistook me for Tao last night and kissed me. I’m not him. I don’t know how much you remember, but hopefully, you don’t remember who I am. 

No harm was done, so don’t worry and don’t feel bad.

Btw I won’t expose your crush, who would I tell? 

If you do remember who I am, call me

-X