Don't hate me!

Bright days are yet to come..

Enjoy this long update, since i'm starting school after two days and life is getting busy! *Sigh*

Till our next meeting.. Take care all~ 

Author’s POV

BIGBANG started their Europe MADE tour by the beginning of October.

He entered the dressing room behind the scenes after acing the stage with Yongbae.

“What is this?” he asked Daesung as he was having some hair touches up done while playing something out loudly.

“You didn’t know? Sis-in-law had a solo comeback!..” he announced a brand new info for Jiyong.

Yongbae from aside was concerned about how to cover this up now for Jiyong.

“Of course he knew, it’s really good. Isn’t it Jiyong?” he smiled awkwardly.

“U-Uh? Yes. I need to use the rest room..” he went with discomfort contouring his face. 

“Sorry, I didn’t know how to tell you..” Yongbae followed him.

“No, it’s nothing.” He sighed, “She must’ve been really nervous and trembling right now..” he was worrying about her even though all the hardship that they went through lately.

Yongbae couldn’t believe Jiyong, he was worrying about her while she was starting her life again with erasing him from it.

“She will do well on her own, don’t forget she have her members and her father beside her too..” Yongbae tapped on him shoulder warmly, “..Let’s go, we should get ready for our next stage.”

Jiyong were really blissed to have Yongbae beside him at such a hard time. He comforted him, leaned him a shoulder when Jiyong wanted cry, an ear when he wanted to confess and rant everything out. He’s the best friend that anyone would want in this world.

Jiyong monitored Taeyeon’s music video.

“She’s happy.” He commented.

“Of course she should be, you’re with her after all.” Seungri said.

With Yongbae beside him, he felt bad for his hurting friend. He knew that he was wrong in this, but he really wanted him to be happy again with her, since he knew that these two love each other, but can’t say this out with their own mouth.

With tearful eyes, “She’s beautiful.” He said quietly.

Taeyeon came back with her first solo

Taeyeon belts for her life on the final chorus while demonstrating restraint by emoting through the earlier sections with a standout coming as a choir, Taeyeon and featured rapper Verbal Jint blend as one on the first pre-chorus.

In mid-2015, S.M. Entertainment announced that Taeyeon would release her first solo album later that year. But Jiyong didn’t know, since he was busy with his tour and didn’t get to have a good long talk with Taeyeon since they met at London back in 2013.

The album's title track, "I", features popular rapper Verbal Jint and includes lyrics written by Taeyeon.

Due to her previous success recording ballads for Korean films and televisions, the public expected Taeyeon to promote the album with a ballad title track. Taeyeon however, chose a pop rock song and expressed that she wanted to "make [her] solo debut with good songs regardless of their genres." Discussing about her music styles for the album, Taeyeon noted that she purposely avoided "way over the top" songs elaborating.

“I tried not to be excessive. I tried to sing in more plain and light ways. I have to sing from the beginning to the end all by myself, so I should feel comfortable. So I didn't choose such reckless songs [flowery or high-pitched], and tried to avoid challenging, something too new.” She said at her interview.

Meanwhile, the accompanying music video seems to be a commentary on the starlet balancing her professional life and personal freedom. Shot in New Zealand, the gorgeous vid sees Taeyeon playing two characters: a waitress in a pub who gets fed up with her boss and sets off the exploration of the countryside, and a carefree woman roaming around the beach. The two sides meet at the end of the visual as the name of the EP is flashed across the screen, possibly symbolizing how he have two different lives, one as the singer SNSD’s Taeyeon, and other as the simple and calm Kim Taeyeon, who is a doctor and the grandchild of the nation’s president. Which no one knows and she’s living in a different whole world from what people are thinking or imagining it would be.

Taeyeon wrote her own lyrics for this solo debut song, she put her story in it, how she overcame the struggles in life and more. She always introduced it as “This is my song, my story. That only me can sing it.”

All her members were right beside her, Tiffany helped her with the production preparations, the feedbacks and more.

While the other, each one or two came to her comeback stages to encourage her and stand next to her.

In addition, she hosted her first solo reality show titled Daily Taeng9Cam (or Daily Taengoo Cam) on cable network OnStyle. The show, which concluded with five broadcast episodes and various clips shared on OnStyle's YouTube channel, was ranked the third most popular idol program of 2015.

Taeyeon showed the people another side of the usual Idol Taeyeon that they monitored so far through the screens. They found out how sweet, bubbly she’s around people and how lonely and calm she’s alone.

Returning to Jiyong, they flew to Newark New Jersey US. 

They had two days off before the concert date, Jiyong went roaming around the city with a messy mind trying to organize things up.

From the early morning, till 4:50AM Jiyong was just walking around, he crossed the Newark Drawbridge, then continued on to the Upper Bay Bridge and walked many other streets and tunnels.

He never felt pain from all this walking, all his body was numb. He was only thinking.

As he reached the Newark Bay Bridge, he found himself climbing the bridge’s rail and standing on it 3:49 in the morning.

He literally was thinking of ending this complicated life and set himself free from it.

He closed his eyes, and spread his arms, ready to jump off and end everything to be at ease.

Just the moment he took one of his foots off the rail, few words rang in his mind together with the melody that Taeyeon composed..

Can’t it be delivered

My earnest prayer

Can you hear it?

Pray now.. baby I pray now

I gather my two hands, filled with my heart, oh

Stay in me baby now, stay in me

You’ll know one day

My heart

After he got those out of nowhere lyrics, he returned to reality and threw himself back at the ground.

“Goodbye my love”

Taeyeon’s voice echoed in his head sorrowfully.

Jiyong was afraid of all what’s happening to him then. He looked up the skies,

“Lord, is this your answer? Did you heard my pray just now?” he shouted to the skies while lying at the ground.

Just as he lowered his head, the skies cried at him water.

“Why are you that late? I have been praying and asking you for 10 years already! It’s all meaningless now!!” he cried his lungs out.

A sudden thunder howled as Jiyong said that.

“What are you trying to say right now? Taeyeon had gone from my hands right now, she’s happy without me!..” he said and tears raced down his face.

Again the thunder howled one more time after Jiyong’s words.

“Let me ask you again for the 8898th time.. Is it okay to be with Taeyeon? Can I love her? Is it okay for me to live and give all the love I have to her and just her? Will it be okay to have her just for me?” he asked seriously. “Please give me any sign showing your answer in it..” he looked up the skies.

Jiyong waited for few moments, but there were nothing.

“Huh.. what were I’m expecting from-” as he said that.

The rain stopped suddenly.

A man passed by and threw a paper at Jiyong.

He looked up, to see all-black man.

He opened the paper, and both his eyes and legs gave up on him.

The paper got wet not from the rain, but from his tears.

“W-Wait!-” he turned to look for that man. But he disappeared.

Jiyong had goosebumps all through his body.

He looked again at the paper, to see the answer that he looked for through all these years. “Yes.”

“Thank you! Thank you God!” he bowed down at the hard pavement repeatedly.

He couldn’t give anyone his happiness and fear that moment.

He thought that this might be a dream, but even when he brushed his eyes. He was still there at the bridge.

While holding on this paper firmly, and walking through the wet streets, his phone rang suddenly..

“Hello?”

“Jiyong? Where are you? It been a whole day without you! Where did you slept?” his mother-like friend nagged.

“Can you come to the café beside the hotel?” he told him.

“Café? At this hour? It’s early..”

Just few minutes, Jiyong met Taeyang at the café under their hotel.

“Why are you wet? Did it rained?”

“There’s something I should tell you, but promise to believe me and don’t think that I’m crazy or making things up..”

“Wait, I should have something to concentrate..”

They ordered two iced Americano.

“Now start..”

Jiyong sighed, “Yesterday, I found myself walking from our hotel and crossing three major bridges of the states then finally I ended up standing the rail of the bridge ready to fall!”

“WHAT?!” he shouted. But thankfully there was no one yet at the café.

“As I took my foot off the bridge, some words came to my mind with the same melody that Taeyeon composed that I played it for you the past days..”

Yongbae was stunned.

“..strangely I found myself at the ground and shouting to the skies.”

“So?..”

“The skies replied to me!..”

“Ayee~”

“I’m for real! I told you that you won’t believe me!”

“What did they said?”

He told him the whole conversation.

Yongbae was sitting there frozen at his place.

“Here, see it yourself..” he showed him the paper.

From the shock Yongbae spilled all the coffee.

“..It’s unbelievable!”

“I know. It’s really scary.” But then he smiled for the first time in two months, “But at least I got the answer that I was looking for all the past years..”

“Congratulations my man!” he went up hugging him. “I knew from the beginning that you two are for each other, look even now God gave you his approval and blessing. Then nothing should stop in your way right now.”

“That’s what is going to happen.”

“What about those lyrics? Do you think that they’re a message from God too?”

“Right, I should write them down before I forget them!”

He took out his phone and wrote them down.

“Jiyong, how are you going to get her back?”

“First I should settle things up, and be free just for her.”

“Next month we don’t have much schedules.”

“That’s good, we should plan for something..”

As they talked, talked and talked.

Yongbae asked.

“Jiyong, do you feel like inking again?”

“What? How did you know?”

“I reserved last night the same artist that inked me last time, Anil Gupta in InkLine Studios. An appointment after our concert. Do wanna join me?”

“Sure. After today’s incident I don’t think I should let it go like this without saving it in me.” He made a high-five with him, “Good thinking my friend!”

“I think I’m your cupid or something in this life~”

“Cupid?” Jiyong got an idea, “I knew how I should ink this down.”

“How?”

“You’ll see..”

Going back to Taeyeon, she held her sold-out concerts titled Taeyeon's Very Special Day as a part of S.M. Entertainment's "The Agit" concert series at the S.M. COEX Atrium from October 23–25 and October 30 – November 1 with an additional date, October 29, due to overwhelming demand.

Taeyeon purchased one of her dreams alone, she thought that because Jiyong is not beside her, all this went by smoothly and successfully.

On Taeyeon last day of her concert, Both Hyoyeon and Sunny came to cheer her up.

At the beginning of the show, while she was singing her solo debut main track ‘I’ suddenly as she burst into tears in the middle of the song, which made the fans sing instead of her.

She recovered quickly from them and sang the high note at the last verse.

The song ended, and lights were turned off.

As a spot light shined at Taeyeon, she was kneeling at the floor and drying her tears in a rush so they won’t see them..

“Don’t cry!” the fans kept chanting for her. “It’s okay!”

“I’m sorry..” she went up to her seat, “…You guys are surprised right? Sorry..”

She bowed down, “Hello, I’m Taeyeon.” She let out an awkward smile, “Welcome to the Aigt~”

The live broadcast were cut just after that moment. Take the excuse that there was a technical error. While the real reason was Taeyeon’s mental condition and her overflowing emotions.

The reason for all these emotions and tears were because of the scandal that she got into that morning..

Taeyeon’s POV

Koreaboo - G-Dragon is Taeyeon's new love?

Soompi - G-Dragon and Taeyeon Rumored to Be Dating!

Allkpop - Rumors that Big Bang's G-Dragon and Girls' Generation's Taeyeon

are dating have been spreading through the SNS world.

Those were just few of the articles that were no.1 on every site.

I read it carefully..

“Netizens are getting worried after a rumor about BIGBANG’s G-Dragon and Girls’ Generation’s Taeyeon allegedly dating.

On October 29th, a post on Pann highlighted these rumors after the original post was traced back to an update on DC Gallery. After being traced, netizens expressed their worry to be held responsible for the blind item that got out of hand online.

The original blind item involving a girl group member dating a member of a top boy group. The two artists involved in the item were further described to be veterans of the industry but were only known to be politely exchanging greetings whenever they meet. According to insiders, the two were introduced by friends and eventually got close.

The post further detailed the previous relationships of the two artists with the girl group member having just broken up with a fellow artist, while the boy group member has just resurfaced from a vaguely public relationship.

SM Entertainment and YG Entertainment are yet to comment about this incident.”

Our photos together were all over the sites! I read more..

“Top girl group member A is in another relationship. She was always rumored to be romantically involved with colleagues in her industry. This time her boyfriend is said to be B from the biggest boy group. They are both veterans but their only interaction was polite greetings. However, after a recent introduction through a mutual friend, they rapidly became close. The biggest reason was B’s recent situation. He was exhausted from a pretty much public dating and break up. B found A similar to C (another female singer who was his first love) and A fell for B as she discovered he had many similarities with her. They both have such a large fan base that this news will probably cause more than a ripple but the two seem adamant in continuing their relationship”

This is just us. Who did make this rumor?

I read some of the netizens comments about this..

“[+ 185, – 16] WHAT WHAT WHAT ..?!!!! I’m a VIP and although this is 90% a rumor I wouldn’t mind. She’s better than Kiko.

[+ 123, -11] Hey this is a rumor. This came from DC Gallery and a post already explained how dumb this is!

[+ 104, – 15] B sounds like GD but A is probably not Taeyeon.

[+ 99, -22] I wish this is real! ^^”

I was shocked with all these, like we never showed anything about each other, never spotted at the same place, never mentioned each other in any possible way.

As I was singing the last comment popped up in my mind suddenly, it hurt me, since it was never real. All what I’ve lived was just a nightmare and now finally when I woke up from it, it chased me again!

For the first time after I walked away from him, when I was singing the opening of my mini concert, I thought of him.

I was ashamed in front of my fans, like they must have thought that I was touched with their love or something like that, but the truth was that I was thinking of my hidden husband that I left and returned to my own path in this life.

I carried on with my concert successfully and decided to forget everything.

The next day after I finally ended this journey of being a solo artist for