The most ironic part of it all was that I was actually supposed to have a triangular bandage on me the next day for the filming of the drama. Silver linings, yeah?

     At the set, L was anything but friendly. For the ten hours that we have been filming, he has not uttered a single word to me behind the camera every time we took a break. And I was anything but pleased.

     Why does it feel like everything was my fault?

     Nonsense.

     If anything, he should be the one begging me for forgiveness, not the one causing me frustration. And if there was anything I did wrong, it would be dropping the honorifics when I called him stupid. And yeah, that, too.

     As soon as the directors declared the day over and everyone had already exchanged thanks with each other, I rushed towards L who was already packing up with his manager. There was no way he was getting out of this.

     I fixed my bandage and calmed myself. I may be of lowly origin but I still had class. However, when I was only a few meters away, someone grabbed me by the arm. Yook Sung Jae.

     "Wae?" I asked. I smiled when his face showed worry. "Geokchong ma. Imi yak meogeosseo," (Don't worry. I already took the medicine,) I reassured.

     "Geuge anira," (That's not it,) he quickly dismissed.

     By this time, I was already as worried as he was. I knitted my eyebrows together. "W-wae geurae?" (What's wrong?) I asked in panic.

     He looked like he hasn't slept in days because of having too much in his mind. Poor Sung Jae. If there was anything I could do for him, I wouldn't even hesitate.

     He scratched the back of his neck and bit back his lips — probably some of his nervous tics. "Can we talk? Just the two of us."

     I examined his face and thought that something serious must have happened, judging by how much he anticipated my answer. "Alright. Sure. But first, calm down. You look like you're going to vomit. I hate vomit, so please don't." I held his shoulder with my unharmed arm and urged him to breathe in and out. "Don't vomit. Breathe in. Out. Don't vomit, okay?"

     "If you keep saying that word, I might actually," he threatened.

     I glared at him and then led him to a corner for a little bit of privacy. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. You can tell me literally anything."

     "You have to take responsibility," he blurted out.

     What is this guy talking about now? I waited for him to expound but I got nothing. "I'm sorry. What?"

     "You have to take responsibility for what happened," he repeated.

     "And what exactly happened?" I inquired further. He's harder to figure out than most of my math homeworks in school.

     He looked down with drooped shoulders and balled his fists on his side.

     "I'm sorry but you have to help me here. I don't follow at all."

     "K-k-k..." he stuttered.

     "K-k what?"

     He looked at me with doe eyes, ones filled with reluctance and shyness, and I realized right then what he was referring to. The blush on his cheeks was an added bonus clue.

     "Ki-"

     "Haji ma! Malhaji ma!" (Don't! Don't say it!) I exclaimed. I have completely forgotten his side on the little incident simply because I wanted to act as if it did not happen at all. That's for the best. For the two of us.

     "Fine. But you have to take responsibility," he insisted.

     "I have no idea what you mean. How am I going to take responsibility? It wasn't my fault it happened. Shouldn't the responsibility be solely on Myung Soo oppa because he's the root of all of this?"

     "That's not what I meant," he sternly replied.

     "Then what?"

     "Be my girlfriend."

     "How can I be your girlfriend just bec- What?" Sung Jae has completely gone insane.

     He wants me to be his girlfriend? Just because we accidentally kissed? I never knew he was this... this... innocent. Is that even the right word? Whatever. I ain't falling for such tricks. Never again.

     Sung Jae stood there with his head hung low. His lips were pursed and I could only imagine the embarrassment he was experiencing. Instantly, guilt replaced my frustration. And I succumbed to it.

     "Mianhae," I apologized.

     But he refused to look at me.

     I reluctantly lifted his chin to make him look at me in the eye but they were firmly shut. "Mianhae," I apologized again. "I can't be your girlfriend just because we kissed. Accidentally at that. You should ask someone you like. Not me," I told him with an apologetic smile. Not that I expected him to see it anyway.

     When he wouldn't respond, I proceeded to hug him — a friendly gesture we were eventually accustomed to through the weeks we've spent together as friends. However, to my surprise, he detached himself from me, violently breaking out of the embrace, but not violent enough to hurt my injured arm. Nevertheless, I looked at him in sheer horror and he returned it with a look of contempt. What did I do?

     "What makes you think that I don't like you? I wouldn't be here now, embarrassing myself, if I didn't have such feelings for you."

     His eyes were dancing, his voice shaky. "Oh, god," I breathed out upon realizing my mistake.

     "Neo babonya? Animyeon naega?" (Are you stupid? If not, am I?)

     "I didn't mean t-"

     "Ara," (I know,) he cut off. "I know that you didn't mean to hurt me. But it doesn't change the fact that you did anyway."

     After pouring his feelings out that landed on me like sharp daggers set ablaze, he walked out. He left me feeling horrible about myself. It's not that I was taking him for an idiot. It's just that I never really expected him to have such feelings for me. When did it even start? All this time, I treated him like a dear friend, almost like a brother even.

     I didn’t have the luxury to even dream of having someone like him, or any Korean actor or idol for that matter, to actually like me. My self-esteem has already reached rock bottom and getting a nose job and taking all these supplements hardly do anything to lift it back up even just a little. So how am I supposed to take a hint given my current situation?

     But wait.

     Shouldn't this be considered a betrayal? I mean, I depended on him and hanged out with him with no other intentions, whereas he, ever since whenever that time was that he developed romantic feelings for me, had an ulterior motive. All those gestures... Did he do them because he liked me? Not because we were friends? Shouldn't I be the one aggravated here?

     Whoa there, Maki. Since when did you start having that much confidence about yourself? Just a few breaths ago we were just talking about how your self-esteem has reached six feet below the ground.

     "Neo gwaenchanha?" (Are you okay?) I heard Son Ho Joon oppa ask behind me. I didn't even notice him approach me.

     I breathed in and out and then turned to him. "Oh, sunbaenim! Nan gwaenchanheundeyo. Waeyo?" (I'm fine though. Why?) I faked and flashed him a smile.

     "I think I saw you and Yook Sung Jae argue," he told me.

     "Anindeyo," (We didn't though,) I denied. "Oh! Have you removed your makeup already? Whoa. Jal saenggin oppa," I teased to prevent him from inquiring further.

"Jal saenggin museun," (What handsome,) he blushed. I smiled at how he acted flattered and then we both laughed when he caught on.

~~~~~

     Five missed calls to Sung Jae. Six missed calls to Myung Soo oppa. At this rate, I might actually lose all of my current friends.

     When I dialed Sung Jae's number again, it got turned off. Really, Sung Jae?

     I stood up from the couch I'd been on for the past hour, the green tea on the coffee table already gone cold. Such a waste. I picked up the cold teacup and brought it to the sink. The mess in it that was eight-day old plates and bowls gave me an idea of what I should do on my rest day — throw them away and buy new ones at the supermarket. The molds on them will never be removed in my mind so I might as well just get rid of them altogether.

     I put on a rubber glove on my free arm and disposed of the tragedy. I then put on some decent clothes afterwards, which took me a good 10 minutes just putting on a new shirt, and off I went.

     It was also my manager's rest day so I got no one to drive me around. I took a cab and got to the nearest supermarket hassle-free.

     I was only going to buy glasswares to replace those I threw away but the different colorful fruits caught my attention so I ended up buying more than I intended. Besides, grocery shopping helped me get my mind off of things that kept bothering me, i.e. the friends I was about to lose.

     It was going smooth until I passed by the chips section. It's been ages since the last time I had one bag of those. I was about to give in to the temptation and grab a huge bag or two when a cold finger poked me on the back.

     "A-annyeong haseyo," the stranger greeted in what seemed to be her shy voice. She was covering her smile with her hand.

     "Ah! Annyeong haseyo," I greeted back with a curious smile. It did not occur to me to ask why she was poking me. I just waited for her to say something.

     "Panieyo." (I'm your fan.)

     Upon hearing those words, I jolted and I came to my senses. I wasn't really expecting someone to recognize me so this really came as a surprise to me.

     Oh, god. I couldn't even be bothered to put on lip gloss or even just a pat of face powder. I was bare-faced.

     I don't really give a damn now about how I look but I am owned by a company already so I have to take care of my image somehow. Certainly, mindlessly going out without anyone accompanying me will get me in trouble.

     "Would you like to take a picture with me? Oh, no. I'm not wearing makeup though," I told her politely. "And I have a cast on," I added, raising my cemented arm for her to see in case she hasn't noticed it yet.

     "You look pretty even without make-up, eonni," she said. "But is this cast real? Oh, my, what happened?"

     What she said and the concern in his voice actually made me blush and feel good about myself a little. Maybe that will suffice for a "make-up" for now.

     Instantly, right after we took a picture, a small group of young girls also took notice and came forward to ask for a picture too. Miss Jina would totally scold me for allowing to have my picture taken without make-up but how was I supposed to decline? Besides, I hardly put on some when we were filming for a 'natural' effect. Refusing to take pictures with them could potentially ruin my reputation so I might as well just take this path.

     "Eonni. You're so pretty now, compared to the first episode," one of the fans commented.

     The corner of my lips twitched.

     Yeah, let's just take that as a compliment.

     "Nideul," (You guys,) I started, "do you wanna have coffee with me?" I must have sounded obviously desperate for company as they all looked at each other with unreadable expressions. "Kopi mashillae?" I asked again.

     "J-j-jeongmalyo?" the girl named Bo Mi asked with eyes looking like they were going to pop out of their sockets. "Ani, waeyo?"

     I nodded. "Shiro?"

     "An shiroyo. Joayo," (We don't hate it. We like it,) they replied in unison in a 'duh' tone.

~~~~~

     I'd like to think that the positive outcome of hanging out with my fans — I still am reluctant to refer to them as such since it sounds a bit arrogant — aside from having people to help me with the grocery bags, was that I had already established a fan base. Sure, it only consisted of 4 young girls but that would suffice for now. I exchanged contact information with Bo Mi, the president, and I wasn't sure how I was going to tell Miss Jina. Perhaps I'd get an earful again from her, like my going out unguarded wasn't enough of a reason yet.

     I checked the phone in my hand again, for the nth time, and there was still no reply from L. He called a while ago, which was why I had a legitimate excuse to leave the coffee shop, but I didn't notice it as it was on silent, so I only read the message he sent thereafter telling me the place he was going to meet me. I asked what time and what was up but a few ticks of the clock later, a response was still being expected. I quickly dropped off all of the groceries at home before I went to meet him.

     "So you're saying that if someone tells you beforehand that he's going to kiss you, you'll let him?" L clarified. He confronted me about the little kissing accident. He didn't even let me comfortably settle on the passenger seat of his car casually parked by the Han River. He incessantly accused me of enjoying Sung Jae's kiss, completely forgetting that he was actually the one who caused it. I shoved on his face how much of a jerk he was acting and he immediately apologized and now we were talking about kissing and all that stuff.

     I rolled my eyes. "Not necessarily, of course. I still have the right to refuse. Unless I like him too, then I'd let him." Does he not understand the concept of consent at all?

     He pouted his lips a little to the side as if he was thinking. "But what if the guy you like is going to kiss you without your consent and you had no idea that he likes you too?" he then asked.

     Hmm. Good one. "At least I'd be able to control the situation. I'd be able to stop him, unlike what happened before. There was physical harm and uncontrollable gravitational force involved."

     "What if it happens so fast?"

     "I'll still be able to stop him," I assured him.

     He cocked an eyebrow at me. "You sure about that?"

     "Of course." By then I was already slightly annoyed. Was he implying that I didn’t have the capacity to take responsibility for my own body?

     "How sure are you?"

     "A hundred and twen-"

     I should have seen this coming, at the same time, not. How was I supposed to anticipate that his challenge and sizing up of my defense was actually a tactic of his to break it down? If that was the case, then his lips on mine was part of his plan all along.

     I could not bring myself to push him away, though. I have always admired how beautiful his eyes were but I had no idea that they were just as beautiful when they were closed. Slowly and gently, the simple peck turned into a passionate lip-locking.

     I could not help it. Closing my eyes was all I could do. His lips were soft and every movement was filled with tenderness. It brought me to the edge of my seat, quite literally, as the kiss deepened. His hand made its way to the back of my neck and the other held my back with care. I had no idea where this desire in me was coming from and up until now, I never knew of its existence. As the kiss intensified, desperate breaths from his nose added to the sensation and I was becoming just as desperate. It was passionate yet considerate and caring. I didn't even know that was possible. It was as if I could trust him with my life.

     Our kiss slowed down like we both wanted to cherish and enjoy every second of it. It came to a gradual stop when we simultaneously tried to catch our breath. We leaned our forehead on each other's and smiled at ourself. It amazed me how we were practically in sync.

     He looked at me in the eye with a hint of teasing and whispered, "Not so sure anymore, are you?"

- - - - -

Team L, anyone? ❤️😌