"Ya. Where have you been?" Emma asked as soon as I stepped inside the room.

"Just outside." I told her. But I couldn't wipe the grin off my face as I recalled everything that happened today and imagined what's going to happen next.

"Why are you smiling like that?" she asked and couldn't help but chuckle. I can't blame her. I must be looking like I've gone crazy now.

"Nothing." I replied, still smiling unconsciously. "I just got lost." I then saw our two other roommates looking at me so I bowed to them slightly, like I was saying hello in a respectful manner. From what I've heard, they're older than us.

Emma shook her head like she was finally convinced that I've gone crazy but couldn't do anything about it. She was still smiling as she said, "Good thing you found your way back."

"Yeah.." I trailed off. "T'was worth it though." Yes, indeed. I got lost in a huge spiral of madness because of someone but it was worth it because the oxytocin hormones I produced today was no joke. I still feel high until now. It's like that short feeling of weightlessness when you're riding in a car and it suddenly goes down a hill without decreasing its speed. The difference is that I'm still feeling it right now. I'm free falling into the deepest depths of insanity but I'm not even complaining.

"Have you eaten dinner?" Jiyeon asked.

"Yes. Thank you for asking." I replied with a smile, feeling awkward talking to her in English because I don't know how to show my respect to her without the honorifics. It's one of the reasons that I like the Korean language - the honorifics. So I don't have to worry about sounding disrespectful when I'm talking to people older than me.

"Jiyeon-ah. Look at this." called Hyejin to Jiyeon with urgency, like something trivial just happened.

Jiyeon immediately went to Hyejin's bed to see what the latter is looking at on her laptop.

"Poor Jiyong oppa." Jiyeon cooed. "That's why he said before that he's feeling lonely."

At the mention of his name, my ears shot up like a dog's when it hears its trigger word.

"Because he and Kiko have already broken up." Hyejin finished.

What are they talking about? I rushed towards my bed and then laid down my laptop on my lap. As soon as I got it connected to the wi-fi, I opened Chrome and typed "G-Dragon and Kiko" in the search box.

A plethora of news articles popped up. Apparently, the two have been involved in rumors for the past years that they are allegedly in an on-and-off relationship. But the headline of the first news article on the list says that the two have already permanently broken up.

Suddenly, two opposing sides formed in my head. One side insists that I have been used. The other reminds me that I'm not worthy enough for GD to spend time with just to ease his loneliness, and that I should just be grateful that we met and not look too much into things.

I shook my head like I was trying to shoo away the former. But even if it were the truth, I probably wouldn't care. At least I got to help him forget his loneliness even just for a moment.

"I ship JiKo though." I heard Emma in. She then sat with them on Hyejin's bed.

My insecurities started to swallow me up again. I glanced at my wrist that has GD's number as I tried to get out of the black hole that in all of my confidence if it was even existent.

I was about to dial it on my phone when I realized that I don't have a plan yet. This will be the first in my to-do list tomorrow.

"Maki." called Emma.

"Hmm?"

"Are you coming with us tomorrow? We're gonna rent a phone for me." she told me.

Was I thinking out loud? "Sure. I was actually planning to do so tomorrow."

"Great. We'll leave at 9 in the morning."

"Alright." I agreed.

Shortly after, my roommates fell asleep. I, on the other hand, explored the internet. I read every relevant news article I could find that talks about their alleged clandestine relationship. Even fan blogs. I felt my chest suddenly become heavy when I stumbled upon pictures of the two, getting intimate with each other. The way G-Dragon treats Kiko in these pictures suggests that their relationship is beyond being friends, like they claimed to be.

All of a sudden, breathing became a difficult task to do.

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