Chapter 52 - The Day

 

Today is the day. I don’t want to think about it but the calendar in front of me has an ‘X’ mark on the date today and my phone kept on blinking as it notifies me. Just by that, I don’t want to stand up from the couch and to start doing things. But… I planned things for the end of the day and I have to get up to get things done.

 

“Chagi-ah…” I called up.

 

“Hmmm?” she mumbled and went to the living room from the kitchen. “What?” she asked as I signaled her to come closer to me.

 

“Just come here.”I told her and smiled. Actually, I don’t have anything in mind when I called her, I just want her to come close so I can look at her to remember every single thing about her… one last time…

 

“Wae?” she asked again. I straightened up my back and looked up on her.  I’m going to miss this…

 

I leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on her lips. “Good morning Honey…” I said in English. Yeahp. In English.

 

I saw her turn red and I slightly pinched her cheek upon seeing that. She’s the only person that actually looks cute when she’s blushing.

 

“Go get ready, we have work for today...” I told her and patted her shoulder so she could get moving.

 

+++

 

“I’ll pick you up later okay?” I told her as we walk to her office. I’m carrying her stuff with one hand and the other one holds her hand.

 

“Do we have something to attend to tonight?” she asked as we stop by her office door. Since she knows that the last few minutes that we are together would be spent at home.

 

“Yup. Something like that.” I told her and kissed her again. As I hand over her bag, I was supposed to let her go, but I can’t.

 

She looked at our hand with a playful smile on her face.

 

“Sorry about that… it seems that my hand doesn’t want to let go of yours.” I laughed and brought her hand to my lips. [I] I’ll never get tired of doing this… but I don;’t have a choice, today is the only day that I can do all of this.[/I] “Get in. I don’t want you to be late for work because of me. I’ll see you later.”

 

+++

 

“Hey! Will you please focus for a minute?” the rest of the members yelled as I messed up again for the nth time.

 

I’m not really into practicing since my mind is preoccupied by the things that I need to finish for tonight. I want to make everything special for her. I want to shower her with love for the last time.

 

“Sorry hyung.” I told Leeteuk hyung. “But, can I just ditch this practice?” I pleaded.

 

Hyung looked at me and surveyed me from head to toe.

 

“Fine. Fine. But you have to catch up with the whole routine when you come back.”

 

“Thanks hyung!” I nearly jumped as I heard him approved to my little favor.

 

I grabbed my bag and headed out.

 

Time to prepare the whole thing for HyunAe.

 

+++

 

HyunAe’s

 

Today’s the day, and I can tell that Donghae is trying to look happy and all for me so this day can’t be a gloomy one. But how are we going to cheat ourselves when we both seriously know that today is the last day that we can be together.

 

“HyunAe, can you finish this one for me?” my boss handed over a USB. “I need the edited, polished one before lunch time.”

 

I managed to open the file inside the USB but I don’t know where to start. Blame it all to Donghae. He’s running in my mind.

 

I started editing the picture that my boss needed while I was thinking about the past months that I spent with him, the things that we did together, all the talks we had and the confessions.

 

“HYUNAE!” someone shouted and I automatically snapped out of reminiscing. “What are you doing?!” 

 

“Editing?” I told her and looked over at my computer. “Woah!” I suddenly burst out as I saw the picture that I was editing.

 

My officemate tried to suppress a laugh upon seeing the monitor. I tried to cover the monitor as our other officemates are coming over to my place to take a look at it.

 

“Edit the picture for the client, not for your day dreaming.” my boss said out laughing too.

 

That instant, I want to disappear from their sight. Gosh… what have I done?

 

Everyone went back to their places as my boss pushed them one by one. And I finally sat back down on my chair.

 

The picture of my client turned out to have doodles of Donghae, hearts, emoticons, and ‘I love you’s’. 

 

I instantly hit the close button of the photo editor and canceled the saving process. 

 

I can’t believe that I’m doing such…

 

+++

 

I arrived at HyunAe’s building a little before 6pm and immediately went up to her floor. I was alone in the elevator but I kept on smiling all by myself. Upon realizing it, I scratched the back of my head.

 

I knocked on the office door and popped my head inside as I opened it for a small space.

 

“Oh… Donghae!” everyone in the office that saw me greeted. “Come in.” some of them said. So I entered. 

 

Everyone in her office greeted me warmly and they even thanked me for being good to HyunAe, especially whenever they have a deadline to meet. I just smiled back at everything.

 

“Oh. HyunAe-sshi. Your husband is here.” someone finally called on to HyunAe. Apparently, she’s on the other side of the office.

 

As HyunAe came out from the other side, a smile unconsciously formed on my lips. The woman that I’ve been missing and thinking about the whole day is finally coming back to me.

 

“Hi.” I greeted her. “Ready to go?” I asked her and took her bag from her. She nodded and I got to hold her other hand.

“Take her home safely, arachi?” her officemates reminded me as we head for the door.

 

“I will.” I told them and we went out.

 

“Have I told you how pretty you are today?” I asked her as we walked to the elevator. I saw her smile and shook her head. “Sorry about that Chagi… but you really do look pretty in your dress today.” I complemented her and kissed her cheek.

 

“Just today? In this dress?” she quietly said, maybe wishing that I wouldn’t here it but I did.

 

“You’re pretty everyday. It’s just today, you’re astonishingly beautiful.” I told her and smiled.

 

+++

 

“I thought we’re going somewhere romantic.” she suddenly blurted out as I opened the car door for her to get out.

 

“Just wait and see.” I told her and held her hand.

 

We went up the small hill like hike to the main part of Dosan park hand in hand.

 

At the steps, we both sat down, feeling tired from the small hike.

 

I let her rest for a few minutes before an idea came up to my mind.

 

“C’mon. I’ll carry you.” I told her and squatted in front of her.

 

“Ani!!!” she protested and stood up. “I’ll walk. I can walk.” she said and I laughed. She seriously doesn’t want to be carried.

 

A couple more steps and we finally reached the gazebo.

 

“I didn’t know that Dosan park has a restaurant inside.” she remarked.

 

Actually, they don’t. I asked the management to let me and the staff arrange things and design the whole gazebo for HyunAe and me.

 

Good job staff and friends.

 

+++

 

We ate through the night. Light snacks since I know that she’s not that much of an eater. I mean. she get’s full easily but then she’ll crave for something easily too.

 

She was eating gracefully across me. Not the graceful, royalty like one, but graceful in a way that she’s enjoying the food with a little poise.

 

When we finally finished eating, I held her hand once again and looked straight to her eyes.

 

“Thank you.” I told her. “Thank you for being with me these past few months. I never regretted spending the last 4 months, 1 week, 3 days, and 18 hours with you because you made me feel that I’m loved once again and that someone is willing to receive and to have my affection. I never thought that at the short time that I’ve been with you, I’ll be able to experience almost everything. From excitement, happiness to jealousy and madness. I never expected that this small role playing thing would make me feel blessed and loved to have someone by my side. The feeling that I want to wake up every morning knowing that you’re there for me, greeting me with a smile. And the feeling that I want to go home right after work because you’re there, waiting for me and not just to rest and sleep.”

 

I turned my gaze off her since I’ve felt my eyes getting watery and all. I don’t want her to see me crying.

 

“Thank you for everything too Donghae…” she interrupted. “Honestly, I’m scared of doing this. Of attaching myself to someone, but being with you made me forget everything that I’m scared of. That I’m willing to let myself out and be with you. Thank you for being an understanding person every time I have a temper… you simply made me feel precious the whole time that we’re together. Thank you so much.”

 

“I don’t want this to end…” I told her as I hold her tighter.

 

“But we have too…”

 

I looked down and took off my wedding ring.

 

“I want you to keep mine.” I told her as I opened up her right palm, put my ring on it and closed it tightly. “Don’t think that I’m throwing it away and I want to forget what happened because that was plainly preposterous. I want to keep everything that we shared together. I want to treasure every bit of it. I just want you to have this ring, my ring, for you to remember me. That just like that ring, my heart stays with you. I’ve said it a lot of times before but I’m saying it again.I love you HyunAe. I’m not scared of telling it to you in front of this camera, with the whole world watching.” I said sincerely. “Seriously, I hate goodbyes…” I added and look away. I was trying to stop my tears from falling. HyunAe made my We Got Married experience both awesome and sad. But we know that things do need to come to an end.. And sadly today is the end.

A screeching silence filled the night for the first time. How I really hate goodbyes, especially with someone I really love.

 

“Donghae-ah…” she called and I felt her reach out for my hand. I looked at it and saw that it was her ring. “I want you to have mine too. I want you to keep it.”

 

I nodded as a response and the tears started falling. Damn, I’m such a crybaby.

 

“Don’t cry…” I heard her say and she reached out for my face to wipe my tears away. The simple gesture made me weep more. “D-donghae. Don’t cry okay?” she said again, this time in a groggy voice.

 

 no… don’t cry chagi… don’t cry because of me…

 

I tried to stop myself from crying and I slowly did.

 

A long silence filled the night once again before I managed to move by her side.

 

I let her rest her head on my shoulders one last time… the lights on the gazebo slowly turned dim, as if it knew what we feel at the moment.

 

If only we can turn back time… if only I can stop time and be with her for most of the time… if only…

 

The silence was broken by the sound of my alarming watch.  Almost 12... 

 

“I guess it was time for us to part…” she said in a small voice as we both stood up.

 

“HyunAe…”

 

“Donghae…” we both called at the same time that made us laugh even though we are in a very sad situation.

 

“You go first.” I told her and she shook her head.

 

“I just want to tell you that, again, thank you for everything, I love you and… I’ll miss everything about you and I’ll miss you.” she said and hugged me.

 

“I’ll miss you too.” I told her. “HyunAe-sshi…”

 

“Hmm…?” she asked as she looked up on me.

 

“I love you. I’ll miss you.” I said and looked down at her and I played with her hair. “Can I kiss you one last time?” I asked and she nodded. I s my arm around her waist and pulled her close. I, then,  planted a soft kiss on her forehead, to her nose and lastly, on her lips.

 

The kiss was cut short when we both heard the PDs whispering something.

 

“The staff already packed our things and were sent back to our respective homes. As much as I want to take you home tonight, I can’t… they wouldn’t allow me.” I told HyunAe.

 

The PDs, then, instructed us to go our separate ways into exiting the park.

 

“So… this is goodbye.” we both said in a sad way.

 

HyunAe was the first one to turn around to face the way that she’s supposed to go. She was about 2 meters away from me when I decided to head down too.

 

It felt that I’m dragging my feet… I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to part ways with her…

 

I looked back after 5 steps and stopped for a couple of seconds. HyunAe did too…and she showed me a smile. A sad smile, that is. I smiled back at the same ardor.

 

I was the first one to turn my back away from her this time since I can no longer stand seeing someone I love walk away from me.

 

I love you HyunAe…

And maybe. In time, we’ll be back together… just a ‘maybe’…