I let out a deep sigh as I closed my eyes for few minutes before opened it back, staring at my friend, Jinah with a long look. “What’s with the sigh? And also that look? Does my question that hard for you to answer, Irene?” she asked me back, raising one of her eyebrows then.

Slowly, I shook my head before moving my eyes away, trying to think the best way to answer back. “Look, if the marriage really a burden for you then, why you even agreed at the first place? I mean – you still can say no to your parent or being protest to them just like you always do whenever thing doesn’t go with your way. Why agree if you know you’re going to suffer?” Jinah’s question kept me in a silence even longer.

Another sigh escaped from my mouth then as I pressed my lip tighter. “I also don’t know, Jinah. I didn’t even know why I was so easily to give in to this stupid marriage. It’s not like I’m gaining any benefits from it. This whole marriage thing makes my life even worst. I still feel like this is a whole nightmare for me. Trust me, this marriage is not even going anywhere.” I practically said, crossing my arms on my chest.

Jinah pursed her lip as she looked at me then. “What about him? Did he also regret with all of this? Have both of you talk about this? You know, try to make things much easier between both of you.” I felt like to laugh listening to Jinah’s suggestion which sounded so absurd and totally insane.

Talk? Is there even a talk between us except for endless argument?

“I don’t know what you think about him, Irene. But, in my point of view, he seems okay. What I truly mean is that, he doesn’t seem like what you told me actually. I admit that he looks kind of scary to approach because of his ice cold appearance but apart from that, he does look nice. Maybe you should try more and harder, getting to know him deeper. Who knows, it will change your perspective view towards him.”

Once again, I felt like want to laugh at Jinah absolutely nonsense suggestion. “I’m not even interest to give a damn care about him or his stupid life. Besides, all he cares about is that stupid ice hockey thing. What? He thinks that he’s good enough? Please, he’s not even at the same level with me! I don’t even know what my parent sees in him that made them agreed to choose him as my husband. I can’t see anything that make him stands out in my eyes. Plus, he is younger than me! How the hell he’s going to lead a marriage if he’s not mature enough to think or make decision? The only thing in his mind is that ice ing hockey thing!”

“How did you know he’s not mature? He looks mature enough to me. Maybe even more than you are.”

I shot a glare towards my friend as soon as she finished that sentence. “Why you’re trying to defend him? It’s not like you even know him.” I barked back at Jinah which she returned me with a look and a small smile on her lip. “Well, so do you, Irene. You talk as if you know him long enough but instead, you just got married to him last year. You think a year is enough to know someone? Come on, Irene. Get your mind together. Just be honest with me, will you? You like him, don’t you? And based on what I see, you don't even hate him that much. You might just feel challenge by him, isn't it?”

I made a disgust face towards Jinah as a snort escaped from my mouth then. “Are you ing kidding me?”

Jinah shrugged, acting as if nothing happened. “Be careful with what you said, Irene. You don’t know the future that will come to you. You might say you hate him to death but who knows, one day without you even realize, you fell for him suddenly? And maybe, hard that you can even imagine.”

“You know that’s not going to happen. Ever.”

A typical smile pasted on Jinah’s lip before she spoke again. “We’ll see about that. But, I’m pretty sure you will. It just a matter of time. Maybe not now but someday – yes, it will. And I’m going to keep praying for that day to come and happen.” I gave Jinah an ogle before shaking my head in disbelief.

God, I wonder sometimes how can this person can be my best friend. It’s not like she’s helping me, but instead, just making my already complicated life even worst at all! Well, keep on dreaming for something that never going to happen. If Jinah thinks I’m going to fell for him, she’s absolutely wrong!

Why would I even fell for him if I hate him so damn much? If it wasn’t because of him that also agreed, maybe both of us won’t be married. I wonder what was he’s thinking that made him agreed to this stupid, useless marriage? It’s not like he likes or loves me, right? Why would he wastes such a life for something that doesn’t going to give anything benefits for him but instead, making his life upside down with whatever unknown risk waiting for him forward?.

Perhaps, at that time I'm too blind enough with my own hatred feeling towards him that I could not even seen any glimpse kindness that he showed to me before. And now, it seems that I'm the one that trap in my own words. Crazy though when I think about it. I let out a small gasp when I felt a pair of arms lingered around my waist as my nostrils could smell the familiar scent of someone that once before a person that I hated entirely in my life but now, turned out to be someone that I could not even imagine to go on without him by my side.

How funny fate can turns your life into a whole, new one – into something that you might never expect to be at all.

“Enjoying the view?”

My lip curved into a sweet smile as I leaned myself against him, resting my head on his broad chest. “I am now, with you.” I murmured quietly, feeling the windy breeze brushed past us as the wind danced around us in such a delicate and musical rhythm together.

It was a perfect weather to go around; warm and sunny with the sun that shining brightly, making the sea view looked even more beautiful with the blue water sparkled every time the sun rays reflected on the surface. The natural view from the hotel veranda where both of us staying already gifted us with such a spectacular and breathtaking mother nature scenery that I could not deny, it probably one of the beautiful sceneries that I’ve seen in my whole life.

The green, covered with forest mountain along the blue sea that spreads wide – everything just seems almost perfect at this moment. How grateful I felt right now to be able enjoying this kind of moment here at this wonderful place. It felt like yesterday when both of us reached at Italy at the first place; travelling around in Italy for more than two weeks now.

Our last destination that we went around Italy is somewhere at the Liguria region of Italy; a place known as Portofino, a small fishing village that situated on the Ligurian Sea. From what I’ve known based on Mino’s words before this, this place is also famous for yachting destination. Looking at the surrounding where I could see mostly sea view when both of us reached at this region last three days, I agreed with the fact that my husband told me.

We did nothing much on our first arrival here at one of the cities in Liguria except for taking time to rest after having such a journey to reach at this place. On our second day here in Portofino, I literally begged Mino to join me for having a spa day at the hotel that both of us stay during our visit here at this city, Belmond Hotel Splendido. I could not deny myself that I’m falling in love with the hotel.

Housed in a protected Benedictine monastery dating from the 16th century, the Splendido first opened its doors to guests in 1902. Believe or not, the hotel offers such beautiful and spectacular scenery thanks to its location which is at the top of a steep hill. Still, there the hotel operates a free shuttle bus service - perfect for those wanting to avoid the strenuous climb. This hotel is a hotel that has elegance, style and its own charm.

The building itself was a family home for much of the 19th century and the décor is reminiscent of that time. Honestly saying, I could not help but to feel very comfortable with our stay here at Portofino. And realizing that this city is our last place for our honeymoon journey in Italy somehow make me a bit upset though. I wish Mino and I could have this kind of time or opportunity like this again in the future.

Knowing how busy our life are, it might be hard for the two of us to find some time for something like this golden chance. Once we fly back home, I’m surely going to miss all of this deep in my heart and mind. Perhaps, what I will miss the most is our time spend together without having to worry of anything else.

Back to our activity on the second door, once again, I successfully persuaded my husband to join me for the spa service that provided by this hotel. Like always, I know too well that Mino probably won’t agree with me at the first place since this kind of activity is not his style or liking but well, being the way I am who hardly know to give up that easily, I did beg him to accompany me but lastly, turned out to ask him to join me along for the spa session.

One of the reasons that keep me falling for my own husband is that, he tries his best not to disappoint me. I mean – I know that Mino could just walk away and tell me that he not interested at all with that spa thing but still, he accompanied me at first before then gave in by joining the session also. Although I know that Mino doesn’t like much that kind of thing but still, he followed with my request which sometimes I felt sorry for him to have such a spoil wife like I am.

It made me also remembered that day when both of us took for an outdoor wedding photoshoot when we were at Padova city before. I certainly know too well that doing the photoshoot made him uncomfortable with the situation but, of course, in the end, he gave in to my request.

Maybe because what I said before was true since we’re both never have a proper wedding photoshoot thanks to our not so good term relationship before. Or, maybe because, I’m being so desperate enough to do that since I wanted to make it as one of memories together during our honeymoon vacation. And thankfully, we got two pictures from the wedding photoshoot which I could not help but to treasure it much with all my heart.

“Baby.”

Mino’s low and deep voice brought realization towards me as I’m not all alone in this suite hotel. “Hmm?” I responded back with a soft hum. Mino did say anything more after that, only his lip the one that was making the work as his soft kisses trailed along my exposed shoulders. I giggled due to the ticklish feeling that rising inside me when he playfully nipped my collarbone before planting small kisses on it then.

I could only sigh in satisfaction when his fingers made circular motion on my stomach, in delight while dancing along the skin surface as he ducked his face on my shoulders, tightening his grip around me. “Mino, stop it. You’re making me-”

“Feel. And slowly turn on if I’m right?”

I bit my lip before slowly nodded my head then. “I miss you, baby. I badly want you, right now.” I could only gulp in respond as I heard his voice whispered closely at my ear, his breath making me shivered under his spell. God, I felt bad with the current situation that both of us facing now.

Too bad that I’m having my period right now. If not, I’ll probably the one who jump in his arms already, wanting the same thing that he feels right now. It just been my second day already and truthfully, I’m also missing to be with him. I miss the way he makes love to me so bad.

Damn.

“Sorry that I have to stop you. You know what will happen if I don’t do that, right?” I told him, slowly turning around so that I would face him directly. My hand reached out to caress his face as I put on an apologetic smile then. “I know. And, it’s not your fault, Joohyun. You don’t need to feel sorry for that at all. It’s normal though. I’m the one who should be understanding about your current condition.” he spoke before smiling wider at me.

I chuckled then, nodding my head as I agreed with his words. “Are we still going for dinner tonight?” I asked him moment later, remembering that he told me about this earlier in the morning before. Mino nodded his head, taking my hand that placed on the side of face before bringing it to his lip as he brushed a kiss on it then.

“I’ve already book a reservation for the two of us.” he said then, answering my question from earlier.

“Do I need to wear something that will make me stand out later on?” I playfully asked him with a cheeky smile pasted on my lip at the same time. Mino’s lip quirked into a grin as he gazed into my eyes deeply. “You still the one that stand out in my eyes no matter what you wear and where you are, Joohyun. Who would look away when they already have a goddess in their life?” Mino questioned me back.

My breath caught as soon as I heard the words slipped from Mino’s mouth, did not see that coming from him. “You always do that.” I pretended to complain as my lip turned into a small pout.

He stared at me in confusion, his forehead creased. “Do what?”

“Making my heart beat crazily with that overly romantic words coming from you. I thought you’re not the kind of sweet words person.” I mumbled, raising one of my eyebrows then. “I’m not.” he replied back. “But, that doesn’t mean I don’t know. It just that I rarely do that. I like to show not tell. Actions speak louder than words, baby.” he added more before giving me a quick kiss on my lip just before I could open my mouth to answer back, holding each side of my face with his large hands.

Both my eyes fluttered open in surprise with the sudden move from him, did not expect that coming though. I blushed in a crimson red then, clearing my throat as I tried to hide the embarrassment feeling grew inside me at that moment then.

I could feel his fingers gently caressed my cheek as he opened his mouth to speak then. “Promise me something?” I stared at him, waiting for him to finish his words. “No more secrets between us. I don’t want anything to come between us again. I think it’s enough what both of us had been through before, right?”

Slowly, I nodded my head, once again, agreed with his exact words. “Before that, I need to ask you something.” I spoke few minutes later then. His lip crept a small smile before nodding his head as a que for me to continue with my words. “You once told me before that you never have a lover or someone special in your life. Is it really true? Because, I found it hard to believe that you never been in a relationship before or even have someone that you might like in your life.”

Mino looked at me with an unreadable expression on his face then. “Are you doubting me, Joohyun?” his voice sounded as if I gave him a pitch slap right on his face with my sudden question just now.

I shook my head quickly, staring into his eyes with strong gaze. “No! That’s not what I mean. I never doubt on you, Mino. It just that I’m curious. Look at you – you’re handsome, you have the look that can make woman easily fell for you. And you also have a stable and profesional career that most women will love to have a man like you. What I’m trying to say is that, I wonder if there’s ever someone that catch your interest before this? Before you even meet me.” I carefully explained to him, not wanting to make him upset by my words before.

He pressed his lip, throwing himself into somewhere else as he was deep in thinking mode. I did not know why but to feel nervous and perhaps, ready to be disappointed if there is someone that once made it way to his heart. I know it may sound selfish but a part of me was hoping that I’m the only one able to do that though; stealing and taking a place somewhere deep in his soul of heart.

“Well – actually, there is someone.”

Congratulation, Irene. Your little hope just crush into million pieces.

I seriously did not know how my expression looked like at that time but I still managed trying to act as if his words did not effect on me that much although deep inside, I felt like a stab on my pride and heart mostly. “Really?” my voice barely came out as a whisper.

Suddenly, I felt regret for asking him this question. “Honestly, you also know that person is.” I could not help but to feel absolutely curious now. Who’s the hell that I’ve known in my life that managed to pull an interest from my husband?! I thought back in my mind, processing to figure out who is that particular person.

“Am I?”

Mino nodded his head, smiling at me a small smile as he answered my question just now. “That person is the same one that standing in my arms right now. The one that able to pull my interest on her is you, Joohyun. Who else going to be if it wasn’t you, baby?”

A shock gasp left my mouth as I blinked my pair of eyes few times, looking at Mino in disbelief. I saw him smiling wider now as he brought my face closer to him, just few inches apart before he spoke again then. “You think there is someone else before you? I told you before, isn’t it? You’re the first and only one that manage to break into my heart. Trust me, baby. There’s no one else aside from you. There’s only you and that fact will never change until the last breath of mine in this world.”

“When I was younger before, all I could think is my own goals and the dream that I want to achieve in my life – to become an ice hockey player. I was too busy focusing on the two things, making me forgot about anything else including love. Even my parent once complained that I’m being too tight up with my life and did not have time at all to think about my personal life. For me, I did not care much about that because all I want to is to become who I want to be.”

“You don’t know how hard and struggle I had to face everything in order to achieve for what I have right now. People who only see me when I become a successful player – most of them think that I got a special treatment from other players because of my achievement today. I mean – who would expect someone like me who is still in his twenties could be one of the most important players in the ice hockey world? Even for myself, I still could not believe that I’m able to reach at this peak. All of this sometimes seem like a dream for me, Joohyun.”

Mino took a breath then, darting his eyes towards me as he looked into me, wanting me to know and feel what he’s trying to say just now. “But, you deserve it. I saw how hardworking you are to make it through until at this moment. All the hard works that you did have been paid off by the achievement that you have today and the successful times that you had before.” I told him then.

He let out a chuckle then. ‘You have the point there, baby. But still, it’s not just about the ice hockey thing that make me feel like I’m dreaming. There’s still a lot of things that for me – I have taken for granted a lot. You also, for an example.” I wrinkled my forehead as confusion passed by me.

“I thought that I never had the chance to build my own family. Even if it is a small one, I always dream to have my own family. Sometimes, I do feel envy at few of my friends that married and have their own beautiful, loving family. Before, I could only say to myself that it would be a dream that I could never reach since our situation at that time. But now, I can proudly say that I also have my own family.” I could not help but to smile widely, also being happy with the thought of having our own family.

If only our little baby is still alive, perhaps, the two of us really become a family by now. I could only smile bitterly thinking about that possibility. “We would have become a family if it wasn’t because of my miscarriage before, right? Maybe right now, we have our Mino junior or Irene junior.” I murmured quietly, sighing in sorrow as I pressed my lip tighter.

“Hey,”

Mino tucked a finger under my chin, firmly pulled my face up so that I faced against him. “Don’t ever bla