Luhan's POV

Rain.

I love the rain.

The pitter-patter is like music to my ears and the little cold droplets give me the warmth of a duvet. It falls as if it is meant to wash us away. Like it is meant to take all our pains away. People think of the rain more as weather but to me, it's something bigger. It's a vault of my memories.

Memories of him.

Us. 

Everytime it rains, I can't help but think about the past. It has been almost a year and a half since I have last heard of him or even seen him and yet, it didn't change anything. Nothing. Every time I close my eyes, I can still see his handsome smiling face. I could still feel his touch. Our kisses, those hugs, and the cuddles. No matter how hard I tried to forget them, it would just somehow come back to me. It was like everything was just burnt into my mind. The ache in my heart was back again and it threatened to flow as tears. But I didn't want to cry anymore because of him. I had enough of it. So biting my lips hard, I tried to ease the pain. Also, Chanyeol hated to see me cry because of him and I didn't want to upset him. I tried to hold back those tears but I guess I was doing a really bad job 'cause Chanyeol still noticed it. Squeezing my hand a little, he looked down at me with a slight frown decorating his face. 

"You alright?" He asked, his voice lacing with concern. 

He was well aware of my internal turmoil, but like I said earlier, I didn't want to worry him with things that didn't matter anymore. I have caused enough trouble to him and I can't keep being selfish. Not when we are here to start anew and forget everything about what has happened in the past. I was really grateful when he still forgave me and accepted me even after I had run away without a good explanation. He even decided to switch schools for me and I was grateful to have a best friend like him. He had been there for me always whenever I needed him. He was so kind and good that sometimes I had to tell him to stop. He had helped me out a lot and without him, I would've never been able to understand what true friendship is. Chanyeol asked me again and I replied with a smile. Of course, he wasn't satisfied with that but didn't push further and I was grateful. The bus stopped at our destination and we both quickly jumped off it. The clouds were no longer crying and it seemed like the sun was finally going to show up. Chanyeol had said that the school was a little far from the bus stop so we were walking there with silence surrounding us.

It was kind of good. 

After a while, he stopped in front of a building that freaking looked like the Shinhwa High School of 'Boys Over Flower' and I couldn't help but stare at it in awe. I was really lucky to be able to get a scholarship in such an institution. It's not like I'm a bad student but from what I've heard, the school's filled with rich, elite kids who, as the rumor goes, are not good news for everyone. But I should not be bothered by that. I came back to Seoul for a reason, to have a fresh start and that's the only thing I should focus on!  Staying in Beijing only made me go bananas and a crying wreck and I didn't want that for myself anymore! I missed my best friend. I missed the busy streets of the city. My part-time job. The bubble-teas. I missed almost everything and moreover, I missed him.

But I know I don't ever want to face him.

Never.

"You ready Lu?" Chanyeol asked as we both looked at the school.

"Yes," I answered with my eyes fixed on the huge, beautifully sculptured iron gates.

Maybe this year will be great.

The teachers' office was in chaos with the teachers running everywhere and blabbering something about 'they were late' and 'how much this '. Such a funny sight to see if you honestly ask me. But it must be because of the beginning of the new school year. We could see the papers flying here and there and the grown-ups were quickly grabbing onto their books and leaving. It was already past 8 so the classes must be going to get started. We decided to not disturb them and so took our positions in the corner of the room. After almost the office was empty, a young lady approached us with a sweet smile. There must be another teacher here. 

"You guys must be the new students right?" Chanyeol and I nodded and bowed.

"Please follow me!" she chirped and led the way to a cabin.

"Here's your routine. Oh..look you guys are in my Biology class." she smiled as she handed us our respective class routines. We both were halfway reading it when the teacher waved her hand in front of our faces.

"Hurry now! You don't wanna be late on your first day now!" she winked.

Both of us looked weird at her but shrugged it off. Maybe she was just being kind. Thanking the Biology teacher again, we went on our way to find our classes. 

"Heeeyyyy we have all our classes together!" Chanyeol said as he scanned his routine. I was relieved to hear that, but let's not admit that to this giant okay? 

"! How am I gonna make new friends now" I said dramatically. 

"Guess you're stuck with me forever because nobody would ever want to befriend a deer! " He stuck his tongue out and grinned.

"Were you talking about yourself, Kong?" I hit him on his shoulder because obviously, I can't reach his head. Thanks to his skyscraper-like height!

With more bickering and teasing we finally reached our class- 11B.

"I hope you get your seat with a leviathan in disguise and it eats you alive!" I said holding the straps of my backpack tightly.

"If the leviathan eats me, then either he'll die or he'll die!" Chanyeol whispered as he opened the door. I stared at him in disgust. Don't mind him. He's always stupid not knowing what he's saying! We were waiting outside and I stepped in when the teacher called me in. Chanyeol gave me a thumbs-up while I took a deep, deep breath. I don't feel any kind of shame in confronting that I was damn nervous and my whole body was shaking. For a moment, I thought I'd faint and all the ing practice with Chanyeol will go straight to the trashcan! I mean, I am not some socially awkward guy or someone easy, a little shy with new people yes, but nothing I couldn't handle.  But after what happened about a year ago, I kind of lost my self-confidence. And I literally hated that. I don't want to rely on Chanyeol forever, or on anyone for that matter.

I want to get over with it.

I want to be myself again and I hope that I will find myself back in this new school. 

"Annyeonghasseyeo!" I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible. I have always been a little afraid of addressing the crowd, and the fear reaches an extreme level when the crowd is all new and staring at you like you're some kind of meat piece! God knows how much courage it takes for me to be on the stage when I used to perform in my previous school. Somedays, I wanted to quit singing but I couldn't do that. Guess I love singing more than my fears and that led me to become the main vocalist of the infamous Bored just a week after I came back to Seoul. 

Did I ing zone out?  

Where was I? 

Please let me live Channie even if I this up!

"I'm Lu Han from Beijing. But I have spent all my life here in Seoul. Please take care of me!"

SERIOUSLY? Why am I so dumb? Oh, God!

"You can take that empty seat behind Oh Sehun."

I nodded at the teacher and was just about to walk in the said direction when it clicked to me.

Oh Se-WHAT?

My eyes were on stalks when I realized it and turned my face at Chanyeol who was as surprised as me.

"Luhan? Why are you not proceeding?" The teacher frowned a little when he noticed that I wasn't walking.

But how can I?

It felt like my feet got numb and for a moment I thought I was going to die because of the ing heart rate. 

This can't be ing happening! 

Why why why?

Why was I stuck with someone I was so eager to run away from? Is fate playing some kind of joke on me? How am I gonna have a new start if...

if...

he is here?

My eyes suddenly fell on my nightmare and as our eyes locked, it felt like the butterflies were fluttering in my stomach again. It has been a year since I heard his name and to my surprise, it still sends chills down my spine. All the memories of the past rushed to me and I had half a mind to just turn around and run away from there and never come back. Maybe I'll switch schools again. This way I won't have to see his face and die every day. But was running away the only solution? Is it going to stop my stupid heart from breaking every time I hear his name? Is running away going to make me stop loving him?

Get a grip on yourself, Luhan! You can face him! You can do it!

"Sorry!" Nervously, I bowed down to the teacher and the class. With my head hung low and grip tight on the straps of my bag, I walked towards my supposed seat. The squeals reached my ears but that - I wasn't interested in any of it! Walking past him, I could hear my heart beating louder than ever and my vision got blurry. As I put down my backpack and settled on the chair, I had to bite my lips hard to stop the tears from falling. 

I won't let him break me again. 

No.

Sehun never glanced at me. He didn't even look at Chanyeol when he had introduced himself. He had his stoic face on and was looking at the book pretending to be unaware of the events going on. His hairs were a lighter shade of brown and he has become more handsome. Maybe he has grown a little taller as well and this school's uniform suits him. I silently eyed him from back, waiting for some kind of response. 

But what was I hoping for?

Him greeting me?

Or even a fake smile?

OH C'MON!

 I should never forget the fact that he's Oh Sehun. That cold, mighty brat who used to think that he owned the world just because he had the money. That 'I-am-too-rich-to-talk-to-you-peasants' kinda boy who used to look all mean and judging to the other people.That dumb Oh Sehun around whom my world used to revolve...the one who showed me a new world...who made me feel so special...and the one who once used to address me as his boyfriend. Unknowingly, the tears started to roll down my cheeks and I could feel the burning pain in my heart.

Why does it hurt so much? Why is it just me being tortured alone?

Why?

How come he is so unaffected? Has he moved on? Has he forgotten me that easily? Was I just a fling? Were we nothing?

The rage started to find its way into my veins. If only I had known he was here I would've never been enrolled in this school but this was a ed up situation I had no control over! Of all the schools in the city this big like Seoul, I got a scholarship to the school where the stranger whom I had dated for like a year studied. Now that's an example of a ed up fate! I didn't know how long it had been since they started to fall, but I wiped the tears away. There was some argument going on between Chanyeol and someone, and the teacher. The whole class was looking at them as if they were watching some kind of drama. But the guy sitting ahead of me didn't even bother to look up. I was facing his back but I could still tell what expressions he would be wearing.

Bored. Annoyed. 

But that's just who he is.

Heartless and cold.

When the argument died down, Mr. Nam, our homeroom teacher scolded us for being so indisciplined and all. I looked at Chanyeol's way who was sitting in the row next to me. He stared back at me and gave me a thumbs up and mouthed an 'It's going to be fine'.

Of course, it was not going to be fine but okay.

I trust my best friend. 

"Turn to page 234 and solve the first equation!" The teacher, Mr. Nam said gaining our attention, and the class was filled with the sound of the pages being flipped. I had my book opened but I couldn't concentrate on it. I wanted to but I couldn't. I also didn't want to ogle at him but I couldn't help it. It was like I was dreaming. I couldn't believe that it was really Sehun. 

"Stop staring at me like an idiot."

My jaw dropped as he whispered in a stern voice.  How come he knew I was doing that? Does he have eyes on the back too?

No wait.

That's not actually possible now. Is it?

"I-I was not!" I blurted out. 

Oh you Luhan!

He said nothing but still left me all flustered and embarrassed. I just wanted to go and die somewhere. 

God, it was embarrassing!

After long, four uncomfortable, and boring classes, finally, it was time for lunch.

Oh how much I've anticipated for this!

I had a few notes left to write down so Chanyeol left first saying he'd be waiting in the cafeteria. The class was almost empty and I was just glad that Sehun had also left. I would've died because of a heart attack if he and I had been alone in the class. After jotting down the last part of the notes, I was about to leave when out of nowhere Sehun stood in front of me making me jump a little. He had that scowl on his face but he still looked handsome. I noticed that he has not changed much. Except for him looking a little more mature and se-

"Why are you here?" he asked harshly making the train of my thoughts stop right there. And I was kind of glad because the last thing I wanted to do was to fall over again for my ex.

"Are you stalking me?"

"What?" I couldn't believe it. How - what the hell have I done for him to think something as absurd as that? I was about to voice out my opinion when he said again.

"Didn't I already make it clear that I don't love you? Damn! I don't even like you!" His sharp words ripped my heart out. Tears poured down my cheeks and the most embarrassing thing was that I was crying in front of THIS heartless guy who wouldn't even feel the slightest guilt about it!

"You're crying now?" he chuckled darkly. "Oh right...how can I forget that that's all you can do!" 

Every word he said kept replaying like a song on a loop in my ears. Does he think of me like this? Was I this worthless to him? It triggered my anger and what I did next was totally unimaginable.

I slapped him.

I ing slapped Oh Sehun.

 Sehun was dumbstruck at the sudden courage shown by me. Seeing him rooted to the spot encouraged me to lash out everything that has been torturing me.

"You know what Oh Sehun? You're a piece of . A mothering garbage!" 

"Yes, I loved you. You were the only best thing that happened to me!  And yes, somewhere deep in my heart, I wanted us to be together - but thank you for waking me up!" I was a crying mess and my brain was shutting down but I was not done yet!

"You think I'm here to stalk you? Not everything's about you, jerk! And just so you know, I'm ing over your dead body you douchebag! Now get your ing face out of my sight and never dare to talk to me!" I pushed him away - thanks to my sudden strength. 

"Oh, and by the way, now, you are the biggest taint on my life I'd like to completely erase!" I snapped and stormed out of the classroom without even glancing at my ex-boyfriend. Sitting by the door, I silently cried. It hurts too much and I can't take the pain. It's too much to handle. Why did it have to end this way? I never wanted this! I loved him too much for my good! But then, I saw his expressionless face and all that was left in me was hate for him. If it doesn't matter to him then why should I keep hurting myself? Wiping off the salty tears, I stood up and promised myself never to cry because of him ever again.

Never, ever, again.