Falling For You

Chapter 33

“How are you feeling? You really gave me a scare when you came down with red, puffy eyes.”

Rian chuckled quietly and shook her head. “Sorry. I suppose I had bottled up my feelings. Happens a lot.” She spoke. It was never easy for her to speak about her honest feelings, she rather ignore them for as long as possible.

After having a friendly dinner with Shi Woo’s mother, he was driving Rian back. He was happy that both of the women who were dear to him were getting along just fine. However, Rian’s broken expression didn’t leave his mind.

“I won’t force you. Whenever you want to talk about it, I will listen. Okay?” even if he was worried about her and he wanted to know everything, he was going to wait. He already knew Rian hated being forced to do something, so he wasn’t going to make such a mistake.

Rian slowly took out her sneakers and put her legs close to her body. She swiftly fixed her hair and while looking out of the window, she started speaking.

“I don’t know when I realized that something was wrong with me… but at some point, I started drinking pills to calm me down. I signed as a trainee at a rather young age because of my mother. After years of training I debuted with Nana and Ailee as HershE. We worked hard and succeeded, however with success critics and hate follows. Because the company was promoting me a lot as the visual member, naturally more people knew about me. I liked the popularity and earned money from it as well, however soon I couldn’t take all the things people said about me. I suppose that was the time when I consulted with and started taking pills. Even though I'm nothing like before, I get scared.”

While talking Rian didn’t even glance at Shi Woo for once. She was embarrassed and afraid to see his expression. All the time she was fooling him to think she was strong and all smart.

“I was under a lot of stress and pressure, so at some point I couldn’t even breathe. I collapsed a few times on stage, then the company did many things in order to stop the news from spreading. Nowadays, I really am much better, but I still carry those pills with me… just in case.” She took a deep breath and stayed quiet for a moment.

“Today my manager asked me about them… he also told me that I've become much stronger because I've been around you. He is right, actually. When we spoke today, my mood just naturally got better. I don’t take those pills, but I can't throw them away for now. Not many people know about that… honestly, even YooJin doesn’t know that… not even my mother… “

“It's okay. I know it took you so much courage and time to open up. It's selfish of me, but I am happy that you shared that with me. I really want to become someone you can talk easily with… I won’t judge you for who you are. I will only stay by your side.” Shi Woo finally spoke. He could feel that Rian was on the edge of crying again… her voice was shaky, her breathing was getting heavy as well. He gently grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “I'm by your side. I love you.”

“Thank you, Shi Woo.” Rian smiled lightly, blinking away the tears. Then she chuckled. “today I've cried so much, I just may not cry for the next few years.”

Chuckling in order to stop the tears – the thing that Rian always did. “You're saying you won’t cry when I propose to you?”

Rian laughed loudly. Then she hid her face from Shi Woo. Those tears were bitter sweet…

--/---

“Why are you sulky again?”

“Rian? It's really you?”

It's been a few days since Rian and Shi Woo met. Actually Shi Woo was really worried, thinking that Rian avoided him on purpose ever since their talk. However while Shi Woo was working on his solo comeback, Rian was going through a busy schedule for each day.  Being separated, for sure affected both of them. It was especially obvious on Shi Woo’s face.

Rian chuckled as she hugged him. “I missed you.” She whispered and hugged him even more tightly. She was ready to sweep his feet from the ground and carry him for  second or two.

Shi Woo laughed loudly and parted from the hug. Rian was smiling brightly, from ear to ear. This time he hugged and carried her around the room. “You're too strong for a girl. How many times are you working out a week? Seriously, you're underrated when it comes to your body.”

“Ha? So you are saying you are aware of my body?” Rian teased.

“Well… probably more aware than anyone else… You know.. I've held you in my arms quite a few times and hugged you.”

“You're being cocky.”

“I'm being honest.”

After a few more lovey dovey moment the couple sat down on the floor, facing each other. Both of them had their phones in their hands, but couldn’t take their eyes off from the other.

“So, is your comeback next after mine?”

Rian pouted and raised her shoulders. “If he isn’t debuting another artists, it will definitely will be me… but I don’t think it will be in the next few months.” She said. Rian and Lee Hyun Wook spoke openly when it came to her career. Rian always recorded songs if she liked them, so if one day Hyun Wook asks her to prepare for a comeback – she can be ready in a short time.

“Why is that? Your solo debut was very successful… making a comeback around this time can be a good choice.”

Rian smiled lightly. “Don’t know. In between schedules I'm looking through drama scripts. That’s what Lee Hyun Wook prepared for me.” she chuckled, then noticed Shi Woo’s frown. “Why?”

“no matter what role you will get, there will always be hot popular actors around you. I can't help but get jealous.”