Prompt: Sehun lived a horrible life. Screaming parents, abusive father, crying mother. He had them all. Luhan was the best friend who didn't know what to do to stop his pain and tell him that he was loved. (WARNING: Thoughts of suicide)

Word count: 2,228

Sehun didn't really know when it started. Maybe it was when his parents started fighting. Maybe it was when he entered high school. Maybe it was when his group of friends began to dwindle in numbers until it was only Luhan. Sehun didn't really know. Sehun had always felt lonely, even when he was surrounded by others. He felt like no one really understood what was going on in his life. He always felt like no one would really care even if he told them. That was why he built up a wall around himself, one that no one could penetrate. One that separated him from the rest of the world.

"Sehun?" 

Sehun snapped out of his thoughts. "Yea?"

"You should eat." Luhan nudged his shoulder, pointing his chopsticks at the plastic container of rice in front of Sehun. "Eat." 

Sehun picked up his spoon and poked at the rice. He didn't really have an appetite that day, but then again, he never did. 

"You have to eat. We're running after this and I don't want you to faint. Come on." Luhan scooped up some rice with Sehun's spoon and held it to his mouth. "Eat." 

Sehun ate half of what was on the spoon Luhan had presented to him. His mouth was dry, so swallowing the rice was hard, but he eventually finished what Luhan had gave him. 

"I ate. Is that enough?" Sehun murmured. 

"Eat more."

"I don't want to." 

Luhan, knowing that pushing Sehun any more would result in tears, stopped. "I'm just worried, Sehun." And he really was. He always was. 

If Sehun was the 'princess,' so to speak, Luhan would be his 'prince.' Glued to his side almost every moment of the school day, Luhan was his best friend. Luhan was his support structure, his confidant of sorts, part of the reason why Sehun woke up in the morning. Luhan was there to wipe tears, remind him to eat, and help Sehun through life. But he didn't know everything. Sehun had secrets he never told anyone, and Luhan didn't really know how to get his friend to tell him. Sehun had built up walls, and Luhan, even after years since Sehun's behavior had changed, still hadn't been able to even make a dent in it. 

Sehun's transition from middle school to high school changed his demeanor. He was more reserved and quiet, which was why many of their friends slowly drifted away. Luhan was the only one left. To Sehun, he was the only one who seemed to care. 

"Sehun, just call me if anything's wrong, okay? I'll always be here," Luhan said. 

Sehun just nodded, his head still down. "I know."

"Get home safe." 

Sehun nodded again. He didn't want to ask Luhan to walk him home. He thought he was going to be a burden. "Bye, hyung." 

"Bye, Sehun-ah." 

Sehun watched as Luhan began to walk away. He wanted to say something, anything, to get Luhan to come back. His fingers itched and he held onto his textbook tightly, fingers turning white.

"Walk me home, hyung," he whispered to himself. "I don't want to be alone." He felt tears pricking at his eyes. "I don't want to be left alone."

Sehun buried his face in his pillow, tears streaming down his cheeks, unrelenting. He muffled his sobs by biting onto his knuckles. He could taste the metallic tang of blood on his tongue as he broke the skin on his fingers. His heart ached at the sound of yelling.

His parents were arguing again, and it was about him this time. He knew that it was about, and it pained him inside. He didn't want to hear it, knowing that if he did, he'd cry even more. But even with the pillow over his ears and door shut, he could still hear them. And it hurt imaginably.

"He's failing two classes! How do you expect him to get into a respectable college this way?!" his father screamed. 

"He's trying! Don't you see him coming home tired everyday, looking like he's going to pass out?! Don't you see him suffering and staying up until 3 in the morning to finish all his work?! Don't you see?!" his mother yelled back. "He's doing all he can!"

"He's not doing enough! I don't want my son to be a failure! And from what his report card shows, I'm ashamed to even call him my son!"

Sehun stifled back a sob. It all hurt too much. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear how much of a failure he was to his father. He didn't want to hear how worthless he was. 

"I'm kicking him out, he doesn't deserve to live here if he's going to slack off in school." 

"You can't! He's your son, for God's sake! Your son!" 

Sehun hugged his arms to his chest, his breathing becoming harsher and harsher with every puff. "No..." he cried. "Don't do this. Don't do this. Appa..." 

He heard the door to his room open loudly and felt a vice like grip on his hair, pulling him upwards. Sehun let out a strangled whimpered and clenched his teeth together, tears squeezing out of his eyes.

"Get out. You're not coming back into his house until you've proved to me that you're good enough to get into a university, you dirty piece of trash!" 

"Hush, you're okay. You're okay. I'm here, I'm here." 

Luhan brushed Sehun's hair away from his face and 'tsk'ed when he saw the purple bruise on Sehun's forehead. 

"Goodness. Mama!" he called. 

Sehun shook his head fervently. "No, no. Don't call her. Please don't call her," he pleaded.

"Shush. You need to be treated." Luhan sighed. "You can cry, but you're fine, alright? I've got you. You'll be fine. Don't worry about a thing. My mom isn't going to do anything." 

Sehun's fingers grasped Luhan's sleep shirt tightly, letting out a shaky breath. "Hyung, I'm sorry. I feel so bad calling you like this," he said, letting out a hiccup. "I feel so bad making you take care of me when it's so late at night."

"Don't be. I'm your friend, that's what I do." 

"I'm sorry," Sehun repeated. "I'm sorry for being a burden." 

There was a light knock on the door, barely audible, but Luhan heard it. "Luhan?" 

"Mama," he said. "Can you bring some ice and bandages for Sehun?"

Luhan's mother crossed the room and Luhan showed her Sehun's face, which was littered with bruises and tiny cuts. Sehun averted his eyes, not wanting to see her reaction. He flinched when she said,"Oh, goodness. Sehun, what happened?" She left Luhan's room and came back within a matter of seconds. "Ice the one on his forehead and then worry about his cuts. Disinfect them too," she said. She Sehun's cheek softly. "When you calm down, you can come down for some food, alright, Sehun?" 

Luhan nodded for him, Sehun's head. He rocked the younger boy in his lap back and forth, calming him by repeating, "You're okay," over and over again. Luhan's mother nodded and slipped out of the room.

"I'll fix you up and then we can go get you some food. You need it." Luhan pressed a light kiss to Sehun's forehead, the side that wasn't bruised, and pulled away. "Sit up." After all the bruises were iced and cuts patched up, Luhan brought Sehun into the kitchen, where his mother was warming up broth for Sehun's dinner. "Mama's food is really good. Remember when you used to eat dinner with us all the time?" 

Sehun made a whining noise and clutched onto Luhan's hand. "Stay with me." 

"I will, don't worry."Luhan smiled softly. "Eat." 

Luhan ended up feeding Sehun instead, as his hands were shaking too much to hold the spoon correctly. "Take your time," he said. "Don't rush yourself. You'll throw up if you eat too fast." 

"You look like you haven't eaten in a while, Sehun-ah. Are you okay?" Luhan's mother asked.

Sehun nodded meekly. "I haven't been in the mood. Nothing really stays down when I eat."

But by the end of the meal, Sehun's cheeks were beginning to show a light pink shade, a sign that he was getting better. 

"Don't worry. We'll take care of you," Luhan reassured him. 

Sehun had never felt more safe. 

"I feel bad." 

"Why?" 

"Because I-I'm just a waste of space. I can't do anything right. My grades are horrible, my dad kicked me out. I'm just...here. I'm taking up space in your house, eating your food, sitting on your bed. I...I'm worthless." 

Luhan was appalled. How could Sehun be thinking this way? "Sehun, what are you talking about? You're a wonderful person. You're smart. You're athletic. You're nice. What else do you need?" 

"I'm not," Sehun muttered. "I'm not smart. I'm not athletic. I'm not nice. No one wants me. I should just..."

"Just what?" Luhan probed. 

"Die." With that, Sehun broke out into sobs. He cried and cried, Luhan's arms holding him protectively. "I should just die." 

"No, no, Sehun, don't say that," Luhan said. "You shouldn't die. I need you here. Your mother needs you here, your father needs you here." Luhan shook Sehun's body slightly. "Don't say that about yourself."

"You don't understand! They need me, but do they love me? Do they just need me because I'm their son?! Do they feel obligated to need me in their house?" Sehun sounded hysterical. He felt like the wall he had built up over the years had crumbled and he had been left, exposed and , for everyone to see. He didn't want to show this side to anyone. He didn't want anyone to see how weak he was. "Does anyone even care about me? Does anyone even love me?" He began to pound at his chest, sobbing and choking on his saliva. "I want to disappear. Let me disappear!" 

Luhan grabbed Sehun's hands. "I need you here. I care about you. I love you." 

Sehun stared at Luhan, his best friend, with teary eyes. "You what? You like dirty trash like me?"

"You're not dirty trash," Luhan corrected. "You're a beautiful human being who has his ups and downs in life. You're Oh Sehun, not trash." 

Sehun hung his head, sniffling, with his fingers still twitching in Luhan's hold. "Do you mean it?" he whispered. 

"Of course I do. Would I lie about something like this?" 

"My parents...they don't really understand what I'm going through. They can't help me. I don't want to tell you because I'm afraid you'll feel burdened. I'm afraid of being left alone, hyung, but I always push people away because I don't want them to know the true me. Sometimes I feel like the entire world is against me and my existence. Sometimes I wonder why I'm still alive if all I have thrown at me is pain, pain, and more pain." 

Luhan hugged Sehun closer, Sehun's head pressed against his chest. "You can tell me anything, anytime, anywhere. You have me on speed dial, just call me and I'll answer. You don't have to be afraid of me being angry or frustrated or burdened. I'm here for you." Luhan felt Sehun's fingers hold onto his shirt. "I'll always be here for you, even at 3 in the morning. If you can't sleep or if you feel sad or lonely, just call or text me. I promise I'll reply." 

Sehun sniffled, burying his face in Luhan's shirt. "Thank you," he whispered. "You're the first person that seems to care." 

"Sehun, there are a lot of people who care about you. You were just too hurt to notice them." 

"Do you think I can start over then? Get some help, counseling or whatever, and maybe talk to my parents. Do you think I can do that?" 

"You can do anything, Sehun-ah. You can do anything if you try hard enough." 

"Sehun? Why are you crying?" Luhan thumbed Sehun's tears away and lifted his chin. "You okay?"

Sehun nodded. "I'm fine." 

"Anything you want to tell me?" Luhan asked. 

"These are happy tears," Sehun explained,"not sad ones."

Luhan smiled. "That's good." He gathered Sehun into his arms and rested his head on Sehun's shoulders. "How are you feeling? Better, now that you've talked to your parents?" 

Sehun made a noise of agreement. "Thank you so much, hyung. I really don't deserve you." 

"Of course you do," Luhan argued. "You're a great person who's been through a lot. You just needed some help and cheering up, that's all. Don't talk about 'not deserving' people and all that. Of course you deserve them." He poked at the edges of Sehun's lips. "Smile." 

Sehun blinked his tears away and tried to force a smile. 

"That's the Sehun I knew from middle school," Luhan said jokingly. He ruffled Sehun's hair and then fixed it. "Life's going to get better, Sehun. You're going to have ups and downs and life's going to throw a bunch of things at you, but you're going to overcome them. And guess what? Now you have me. I'm going to help you make life be something you'll enjoy." Luhan grinned. "You got this, Sehun, you got this. You're gonna kick life in the ." 

Sehun laughed. It was a small one, just a slip of the lips, but it was the first of many that were about to ensue. 

I've been feeling a bit down recently. Anyone interested in a Q&A session? PM me questions and I'll answer them in a compiled blog post. I'll stop taking questions on Saturday night and answer them by Sunday. I need a distraction from life. *sighs*