SARANG

Two weeks ago, halmeoni told me that Uncle Sehun is my appa when mummy and I moved back to the family house. I didn’t understand the sudden move but I was rather excited to finally have a daddy.

I really wanted to call Uncle Sehun appa the moment I saw him at the door but I felt so shy about it. Even now I still feel a little timid. Will mummy be sad if I call him appa? Will he like it if I call him appa? There are so many questions swimming in my head like the fishes in harabeoji’s big aquarium.

Appa must have felt shy like me too because he has been staring at me for some time now without talking. So I pluck up the little courage that I have and called out hesitantly.

“Appa.”

He looks funny freezing up like an ice. Not that he isn’t an ice prince already like what mummy always . I must have spoken too soft for my ice prince appa to hear.

“I called you appa. You’re my appa right?” I wanted to hear him confirm myself but he must have liked me calling him appa, right? Because he just hugged me and asked me to repeat myself.

“Appa.” This time I said it loud and clear. But why is he crying? Is he sad because I called him appa? My heart dropped a little. I have to know.

“Appa, why are you crying? Are you sad because I called you appa?” I tried asking.

“Sweetheart, I’m crying because I’m happy that you accepted me as your appa even though I never knew about you all these years. I’m crying because I’m such a bad appa for not knowing you.”

“It’s okay appa. I forgive you. I knew about you for a while already.” I answered patting his back gently like mummy.

“Really?” He questioned pulling me back a little to have me sitting on his lap. I nodded at his question.

“Uh huh. When I was back in US, I’ve always wondered why I don’t have a daddy that will buy me toys, take me to the playground or go swimming together like my friends. I used to ask mummy many questions about appa but she always became sad.  I don’t want to see mummy crying so I stopped asking even if I have much more to know.” Appa was listening patiently to my stories but just like mummy, he looked sad too.

I climbed down from the bed to search for the hidden box in mummy’s closet and placed it in front of appa.

“At times when mummy thought I was asleep, she’ll take this box out and stare at the things inside and cry. I was four when I discovered this and that my appa is Oh Sehun from Exo. Often, I secretly sneak this box out when mummy isn’t looking. I never und