''Fall in love with a guy named Junhong?'' I mumble as I put my head on a pillow beside me. I don't know whether I need to feel relieve or guilty. Jaerim..Somehow the guilty feeling washed over me, telling me that I've made a wrong choice to choose to love the person that my friend's love. 

Zelo's words somehow didn't works for me. I don't know what should I respond for that. 'Falling in love with a guy named Junhong?' but Zelo and Junhong is a same person.

I let out a weary sigh. What should I do?

''Jaerim..She probably hates me after she finds out that Zelo is the one that send me those letters all this time.'' I sadly said and quickly turn my body to my right. As I keep my eyes wandering around the room, suddenly something caught my attention. The letters. 

These letters had destroyed my life yet I still happy every times I received them. I move my body a bit to the table beside the bed, grab a bunch of letters that I received from Zelo and quickly back in a lay position. Without I know, my lip curls upward at the thought of this sweet letter yet mystery. 

''Should I make an apologize letter to Jaerim..and for Zelo too.'' I bit my lip, a hesitate feeling suddenly ambush me.

What if it never gets better? But..at least I've tried, right?

I jump off from my bed and switch on the lamp table. Tonight, I'm gonna make sure that tomorrow will be a better day than today with some letter. With some hopes, maybe it will come true.

-

I lift my head slowly to realize that I've already reach my school. Many student still hovering around the hall. It's so crowded and somehow it makes me break into a cold sweat. Suddenly, a weird feeling greet me and my heart beat become unbeatable. I clutch my skirt nervously and try to breathe properly. I wonder why I behave like this when all of this is not my fault. The crowded now disappear one by one after the first bell ringing. At this rate, can I really give this letter to them?

This is the perfect time to put the letter on their locker since everybody already enter their class. As long as I can fix this relationship between me and Jaerim and Zelo, I'm willing to be scold by Mr Kim for my late arrival. 

I jog to the locker aisle and search for Zelo's locker, since I already know where Jaerim's locker located, I quickly sneak the letter in her locker. A couple of students that pass by give me a strange looks. Why not? I look like some crap trying to sneak in someone's locker but.. I choose to ignore them and try my best to put this apologize letter in their locker. Because of my kind effort to be reconciled back with Jaerim, I need to push away my shy feeling first. 

Satisfied with my kind confession, I finally find Zelo's locker and when I'm about to slip the letter in his locker

''What are you doing in here?'' Someone grab my shoulder and my heart stop beating once. It's feel like a thief had been caught by a police for stealing something expensive. I quickly hide the letter that I didn't manage to slip in Zelo's locker behind my back. 

''Uh..Just looking for my locker.'' I said, avoiding his eyes. I better not to stammer in front of him or not, he will know my true intention.

''Really? What did you hide behind your back?'' Zelo said, trying to peek behind my back. Is he saw it?

''No..thing..'' I said nervously while my head hung low, didn't dare to fix my gaze into Zelo's direction. I'm afraid that I might tell him otherwise. He doesn't said anything but he just stare at me. Those stare.. It seems like he didn't believe with my words. 

I raise my head a bit to look at Zelo's face and wait for his positive respond but why did I feel like I'm waiting for something that isn't going to happen.

It's been 5 minutes we just froze there, didn't said anything nor move in our place. 

''Can I see it?'' Zelo unexpected words make me panic all of sudden. I start to rip off the letter behind my back as Zelo taking one step closer to me. I can't let him know about this letter yet, of course my plan is to let him read this letter but not in front of me. It's kind of awkward if he reads in front of me, plus this is not a love letter.

Zelo realized my action when I start to rip the letter slowly if he comes any closer. His gaze never left my back. I feel uncomfortable with his stare so I decide to clear my throat once. Zelo fix his gaze on me and locked his eyes with mine. Somehow, I find him like a ert. 

''Is that a letter for me?'' Good. What should I reply to his curiosity. I can't easily said 'yes' and hand this letter for him. The words that contain in this letter..I wonder if it will hurt him or not. What is his reaction after he received this letter. Mad? Sad? But I do this for his and Jaerim's sake. I swear I didn't mean to hurt him. Can he understand if he read this letter?

I shook my head, didn't dare to voice out. My lips seem to be dry because of nervousness. Why did I need to stuck in this crucial moment. My hand shake a little and I become anxious if I make a small movement, the letter will fall from my weak grip.

''I will get going now. See you later.'' I crack an awkward yet panicky smile to Zelo and walk away, leaving him behind. This is my chance to run away from him. I realize that today is not my lucky day when a hand grips my wrist firmly. 

Zelo snatch away the letter from my hand and let out a heavy sigh. I really want to escape from this worse situation but when I look down, I perceive that Zelo's hand had been locked with mine. He opens the letter with his other hand and inhale for a fresh air before he starts to read it.

This will be a long day.

Zelo's reaction becomes tense when he reads the letter from me. He frowns, sighing and almost swore after he finally finish read the letter. He crumples the letter with angry feelings and make an eye contact with me. I quickly avoid his stare by looking down at my shoes.

''Is this what you really want?'' He said in a calm tone. I just stay silent, didn't dare to reply to his question. Somehow the calm tone is the one that make me shiver a lot. Sighing, he close his eyes for a moment to let himself cool down before he asks another question.

''You can't change how my heart feel.'' Zelo throw away the crumple letter on the ground and step on it. While he keeps step on the letter, out of the blue Jaerim's figure show up in front of us. She looks at me and down to my hand where Zelo's hand still on mine. I try my best to release my hand from Zelo's grip but he didn't have any intention in freeing my hand from his grips.

Jaerim glares at me and moves her attention on Zelo. She comes near Zelo but stop her movement when she saw her name on the letter that being step by Zelo. I gulp on my saliva, didn't know what to say to her. This is wrong, if I'm not explained to her, she will misunderstand all of this. 

''Jaerim ah, this is-

''Don't.talk.to.me.'' She said through her clenching teeth and clenched her fist, struggling to control her anger in front of Zelo.

Zelo turns to his back when he heard Jaerim's voice and he keeps looking at Jaerim's direction. The three of us just stay static in our position and the tense in the air start to fill up. My stomach start to feel sick and I feel like I've made a wrong decision. I swear that I will get a nightmare and the most important thing is why did I need to stuck in this situation. 

What should I say now?

''Ah..My class already start so I better go now.'' I timidly said and try hard to release my hand from Zelo's grips. Jaerim sets her eyes on our hand and she quickly walk away from me and Zelo. Probably, she wants to hide the facts that she's crying right now. I feel guilty but I didn't know what to do since Jaerim really hates me and she likely will ignore my words. I look at Zelo and he still didn't let go of my hand. 

''Zelo ah, can you-

''Don't talk.'' He drags me away from the locker aisle and pass by my class. I want to tell him that he just missed my class but I didn't have any courage to do so. I just follow him quietly and guess what, I need to skip history class because of him.

''Can you tell me where are we going?'' I said, trying to stop him but he pay no attention to my question and keep walking until we reach at the abandon block near cafeteria. Zelo leads me to the second floor and we enter an empty classroom. It's kinda creepy in this unused class but when I look at Zelo's face, I found that I'm not afraid on this class but I'm more scared with Zelo's action right now.

''The letter..Is it true?'' Zelo finally said a words after being silent for a while. 

''You said that you hate me and you asks me to be with Jaerim. Is that what you want?'' I can't answer him as I keep thinking of the best answer. Is that what I really want? 

''Yes.''