Chapter 21

“Jungshin-ah... Stop this.” Minhyuk continued to stop Jungshin.

But Jungshin shrugged off Minhyuk’s hand from his arm and turned to me, seriously.

“What are you saying?” I gathered all energy I can to ask him.

Jungshin walked towards me angrily, “What am I saying? What am I saying, Hyung? What I am saying is you are blind! You are coward! Yes Hyung! Those words just come out from my mouth and I'm not even sorry for it!"

“Hey, Jungshin.. Calm down.” Jonghyun interrupted.

I just stood stiff, receiving every insult from my dongsaeng. 

“Seohyun loves you. She’s so in love with you all these years and you never did anything for her!” Jungshin continued.

A tear finally fell from my eye. Right. I’m actually crying in front of my dongsaengs and I don’t even care. I cannot move, my body is just trembling.

“But don’t worry, Hyung... She just gave up. So you can carry on with your life and be happy with your girlfriend!” Jungshin said sarcastically and walked straight towards his room.

“Ya! Lee Jungshin! You don’t even know what Hyung is-”

“No, Jonghyun-ah... Just let him be.” I cut Jonghyun when he tried to defend me.

My knees gave up, my body unconsciously sat on the floor and just fell my back on the couch. Jonghyun sat across me. Minhyuk left us too and followed Jungshin. We don't usually fight. When the boys and I have arguments, we talk about it calmly. But this time, it felt like being freed from cage for the first time, that Jungshin really bursts in anger.

“Hyung...” Jonghyun called me softly.

“Jonghyun-ah...?” I mumbled in disbelief. “Was that true?”

“Hyung...” Jonghyun turned to me. “I knew the boys have been hiding something. I just didn’t ask because I don’t want them to ask me about you too. You told me not to tell them anything, remember?" Then he suddenly sounded hopeful, "But you see, Hyung, that's what I told you. There really must have been something you didn't know all this time."

“But...” I mumbled in confusion. “I saw them that night. “

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Flashback.

Five YEARS ago. 

(Yonghwa’s POV)

Tonight, I finally grasped and understood the meaning of perfection:  Seo Joohyun. 

When heavens poured down all the luck, I was probably the first on the line. I got so excited when I found out that I will be singing with Seohyun here in Niigata. My happiness will explode it anytime that I can't even hide it during press conference. Our rehearsal yesterday was short and my concentration was really nowehere to be found because I was too busy staring at this beautiful creation from God. She was beautiful. Everything about her was seamless.

Then when I saw her at the backstage, I can’t help but smile. I can’t hide my happiness. Much more when we were singing in front of thousands of people. I purposely scream at the top of my lungs when singing the words "Neol Saranghae'. Yes. Love. I was in love with my erstwhile 'wife.' And I am in love with this woman I am singing with.

And I should let her know how much I love her.

The entire time I was with her on that program, I know i was falling for her. I’ve never been that happy and I felt that she was too. I'd like to believe that I wasn't the only one who felt like this on the show. Everything was real to me. 

After an hour of rest, I’ve made up my mind. I will tell her. I will tell her I love her tonight. 

“Hyun... Meet me tonight. I need to tell you something very important. I swear I won’t be in peace if I don’t tell this to you tonight. Let's meet at the center park at 10:00pm. I will wait for you there. Please come." I texted her.

I was looking for her at the backstage but I can’t find her. That’s why I just sent her a message. Our manager also told me that SNSD are staying at the hotel across to where we are staying at. So it's better to meet her at the center park which is in between the hotels we are staying at.

When the concert ended, excitement filled me as we go back to the hotel. I put on my cap and black hoodie. I brought a mask too just in case.

“Hyung, 2PM hyungs and others are going on clubbing.” Jonghyun said. I shared room with him at the hotel. “I’m meeting them at midnight... the dongsaengs are already sleeping. So, wanna come?"

“Nope. Thanks but no thanks.” I answered while smiling, as I tie my sneakers’ strings. 

“Going somewhere else?” Jonghyun asked.

I patted his shoulder. “Yes. And no one’s gonna stop me tonight.” I grinned. “Bye. See you later Jonghyun-ah!”

I was so pumped up that I walked with light foot steps. ‘Seo Joohyun... Tonight... Tonight I’ll send you all my love.’ I chuckled like a fool all by myself.

There weren’t much people at the park. Some were just busily walking the street on the sidewalks. It’s windy here. The posts were beautifully lit with blue lights. The trees are full of lanterns. Japan. Jung Yonghwa. Seo Joohyun. Banmal Song Performance. It was a perfect night to confess my love.

I was checking my phone every now and then. There was no reply. Maybe she’s resting a bit. But I know she’s coming. She is. She must.

One hour. Two hours. Where is she? I look around the park. I should text her again. I grabbed my phone from my pocket. And even before I could type a message...

‘Hyun?’

I saw her from afar, just getting out of the hotel. I knew it was her. 

But wait...

I tightly gripped my phone, gritted my teeth. I just stared, not even blinking. I want to kill someone now. But I can’t move and without realizing, a teardrop falls.

Jinwoon and Seohyun were laughing while walking. Until Jinwoon wrapped his arm around Seohyun’s shoulder. I turned around immediately and hid myself. I can't bear to see another scene. I was breathing heaviy. The next thing I know, random people are staring at me as I sat like a beggar at the park. I adjusted my hoodie and hide my face with the mask I brought.

Then my phone lit. 

“Sorry Oppa. I can’t come.” It was a text from Seohyun. 

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