Chapter 15

“Have you tried asking her? Even once?”

SNSD manager’s question to me keeps on running in my head while I rested on the couch, still waiting. I never asked her about how she also felt for me after the show. But why do I need to ask when I already know what the answer is? I don't want to rub salt on my wound.

That unforgettable night in Niigata, I was so happy and was decided to give my feelings a try. But even before I even tell her, I already got the answer. And it hurts. It hurts so bad that I can bleed inside.

Will she tell me all if I ask her about that night? I wanted so bad to hear any explanation from her. But I’m afraid I won’t be able to bear it if I hear it.

“Oppa, we’re done!” Yoon Mi came in the waiting room without my notice. And my reminiscent thoughts were suddenly distracted.

“Good. I’ll just wait outside.” I said. 

When I went out of the waiting room, Seohyun was bowing her head to the staff, greeting them. My eyes were unconsciously following her. She was talking to the crew and happily thanking them. The same-old-kind-hearted Seohyun. I didn't realize Yoon Mi was already beside me.

“Oppa, let’s go home.” Yoon Mi said as she hooked her arm on mine. 

“Uhm... Seohyun is coming with us. You don’t mind, do you?” I asked her.

“What if I do?” she asked seriously.

“Yoon Mi... Her manager said -” 

“Fine.” She whined without even letting me finish what I was saying. “Seohyun-sshi, are you coming or not? Because we all want to go home." She turned to Seohyun who was packing her things up while talking to the crew.

Seohyun was flustered and then hurried to pack her things up when she heard Yoon Mi.

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“Yong Oppa, you really don’t have to take me home. I can manage. I’ll just take a cab.” I said while Yonghwa Oppa is putting my bags on his car's compartment.

“Hyun, it’s okay.” He looked at me and smiled. “It’s Friday so you’re staying in the villa, right? We’re neighbors anyway.”

How did he know that I stay in the villa and not in the SNSD dorm every Friday? 

Yoon Mi is already in the car, at the front passenger seat. Yonghwa Oppa opened the door for me. I stayed at the back. Yoon Mi was talking to Yong Oppa as if I wasn't even there. She didn't even mention anything about the photo shoot.

I stared outside the window. While the car was moving, my mind is also running with memories. Then after a few seconds, in my view is the walkway on the park where I gave Yong Oppa the scarf.

But then he lost it. He lost the scarf. Maybe it wasn’t really meant to be his. 

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Yoon Mi was talking to me but I don’t understand anything she was saying. I steal glances through the rear-view mirror on the girl at the back.

She was staring outside the window. Her eyes are glistening. I guess she remembers. She remembered our wedding photo shoot on that program, she remembered the scarf she gave me and hopefully she remembered the scarf I gave her when I lost the other.

“Oppa? Are you listening?” Yoon Mi tapped me on my shoulder. 

“Uh.. I’m sorry. What were you saying?” I asked her.

“I told you that I’ll be on Vietnam next week for a fan meeting because they will air my latest drama there. So I won’t be in Seoul for the weekends."

“I see. Enjoy your fan meeting.” I said. 

Yoon Mi just stared at me and didn’t say anything more. Silence occupied the car. 

“Seohyun-sshi... Do you have a boyfriend right now?” Yoon Mi suddenly asked, not looking at Seohyun but looking straight ahead of the road.

“Ne?” Seohyun seemed surprised. 

“You know... Secret dating? A lot of idols do that, right?”

There was silence again for a few seconds. Yoon Mi just waited for the answer. Actually, I was waiting too. I want to know.

“No. I don’t have a boyfriend.” Seohyun answered softly.

Really, so what happened then after that night?

“O right... You said a while ago in the studio that you think they were just ‘fans’. Why don’t you try to date so that you’ll know the difference between fans who like you as and idol, and guys who really like you as a woman?"

Why is Yoon Mi doing this, seriously?

But I stayed quiet, just letting the two ladies talk. But the thought of Seohyun dating one of her fan boys makes my insides crumble. And a painful memory of that night in Niigata appeared on my mind.

“Well... I... I did try going out before...” Seohyun hesitantly said.

I almost steppe