CHAPTER 18: WHY ARE YOU ANSWERING HIS PHONE CALL?

He tossed and turned around on the bed, feeling slightly uncomfortable. The young mother-to-be tried to go back to sleep when his new routine of waking up in the middle of the night with a grumble stomach happened again. He slightly caressed his tummy in an attempt to lessen his hunger but to no avail. An imaginary of a certain smell and taste kept lingering around him, so he could not help but crave for it.

"Baby, do you want to have ramyeon again? I feel like eating it now." Jongup slowly got up from his bed and reached for his phone on the night stand. He internally sighed when he saw the time shown was already 2.20am. His sleeping routine was changing drastically whereby he would feel really sleepy by the time ticked at 9pm and would wake up around 2am only to feel like filling up his empty stomach.

He knew it was because of the pregnancy he was experiencing, so he just could not blame anyone for it...And obviously not his baby who probably was the one craved for food in the middle of the night. It had been almost a week that he woke up at night craving for ramyeon. Honestly, Jongup just could not understand his craving desire this time. He thought he could eat all his craved food without having to have a throwing up session but he was so wrong.

When the first time he ate ramyeon at night, it was when he ate with his young master, everything was absolutely fine. On the second day, he could not keep it for more than one hour and streaked for the bathroom to empty his stomach. As days went by, he could not even hold back for more than 10 minutes and would violently sick right after he ate the craved ramyeon. Nevertheless, he still craved for it though he knew it would not stay in him for a good time.

An image of Yifan suddenly flashed in his mind for the umpteenth times. Jongup bit his quivered bottom lip as he squeezed his eyes tightly, in attempt to make those disturbing images disappeared but of course, it was all in vain. As much as he hated the person who had the heart to kill his own child, his blood, he could not help but reminisce those sweet memories they shared together that led them to have the bundle of joy he was carrying now.

The pregnant boy knew it was absolutely wrong to even think about the other but who was he lying anyway? They were together for five years, he now was carrying Wu Yifan's child and as much as he wanted to deny his feeling, he just could not stop but let a very tiny bit in him wished that the other was there for him. He wished the latter would be there to support him throughout the pregnancy, comfort him during his morning sickness, massage his sore body and soothe his headache, as well as entertain him when his craving was acting up. It was hard to go through it alone.

"What's wrong with you, Moon Jongup? Can't you just stop thinking about him?" Jongup reprimanded himself as he rubbed his face with his palm. He hurt you so badly, Uppie...he even wanted to hurt your baby. He didn't deserve to occupy your mind. The boy laughed a sad silent laugh, as a single tear easily made its way down to his soft cheek. He did not expect he would be telling himself about this like everyday, but it seemed like he had too. He felt stupid for that. Why was he so weak?

Why would he be needing to wish for the other's presence? It was totally insane. What more when he was the cause of his nightmares... Were his hormones playing tricks with his mind? Jongup took a deep breathe in as he tried to clear his mind. He should really stop thinking now that his head was starting to feel lightheaded. He caressed his tummy lovingly before he slowly got up from the bed. It's okay, baby. You have me and I have you. Mommy will love you as much as other parents love their child, possibly more. I'm gonna be your mommy and daddy as well. Just be strong with me, baby.

Upon opening his door, the courage that he mustered up before was blown away when he was met with the darkness along the corridor. Right, he was currently at the Kim's mansion, not his young master's apartment. His mind involuntarily replayed the incident and Jongup's grip around the doorknob loosened before he slowly let his body slid down to the floor. The pregnant boy brought his knees to his chest as he squeezed his eyes tightly and pressed his palms over his ears. No, please go away. Don't hurt us...

"Jongup?" A hand was placed on his arm, abruptly made said person to flinch away in panic. Jongup started to tremble in fear and cried more.

"Hey, hey...it's me, Himchan hyung." Himchan instantly crouched down next to Jongup. He was feeling guilty for making a wrong approach to the younger. He should have known about Jongup's condition, yet he made a mistake. His mind was too occupied in making a bottle of milk for the crying Junhong when he saw a glimpse of Jongup, hugging himself in front of the open door. Feeling worried, he wanted to make sure that the maid was okay.

"H-Him-chan hyung?" Jongup peeked through his slightly opened eyes and when he saw the older was really before him, relief was written on his face. However, he could not help but look around them in insecurity though all he could see was darkness behind Himchan.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?" Himchan's tone was laced with concern. The younger quickly shook his head and wiped away his tears. He did not want the other to get worried about him. He wanted to listen to his doctor's advice that he needed to be strong and fight his fear. But, perhaps he needed more time for that. The former furrowed his eyebrows as he sent a questioning look to the other.

"I'm-I'm just h-hungry..." Out of habit, he bit his bottom lip upon saying those words. Himchan nodded his head and stood up. He held out his hand in front of the younger who stared at it in bewilderment. Well, he was a father to a 14 months old baby and he had been through this with his Youngjae who would crave for something bizarre in the middle of the night and that he needed to get it by hook or by crook.

"Let's go to the kitchen, then. I have to make milk for Junnie." Said the older as he shook the empty milk bottle in his hand. Jongup slowly rose up to his feet and hesitantly grabbed Himchan's hand. The older led them to the kitchen, switching on all lights along the pathway in the process. He knew the maid's fear of darkness.

"What are you craving for, Jongup-ah?" Himchan asked once they stepped into the kitchen. One thing about these Jung and Kim family that Jongup liked was that they were really down to earth and that they respected others regardless their status. These families would not ask for the maids' help when it was supposed to be their rest time...well, perhaps his young master was an exception. However, the Jung Daehyun was slowly changing, and Jongup was thankful that his young master was being lenient toward him recently.

"Ramyeon."

"Ramyeon? Tsk, I can't remember which cabinet the ramyeon is kept but you can try check it in the top cabinet." Himchan pointed toward a kitchen cabinet before he swiftly grabbed the milk powder on the counter and made Junhong's milk. Jongup opened said cabinet and found what he wanted most.

"Did you find it?"

"Yes, thank you Himchan hyung."

"No biggie...but, uh Jongup-ah, are you okay to be here alone? I have to go back to give this milk to Junnie. I'll come back later, okay?" Jongup widened his eyes in disbelief before he quickly shook his head.

"No, no. It's okay. I'm okay, just go now. And don't come back. I'll be fine. I already troubled you enough." Jongup told that in one breathe. Himchan chuckled upon hearing those words and ruffled Jongup's hair.

"Are you sure?" Jongup was about to reply when there was another voice calling out for Himchan.

"CHANNIE, YEOBO! What's taking you so long?!" Youngjae yelled from the staircase as he tried to coax a crying Junhong in his arms. The baby's crying could be heard echoing in the mansion.

"Go, hyung! Junnie must be really hungry now."

"COMING!" Himchan gave one last look at the other before he jogged out of the kitchen.

"And don't come back, hyung!"

Jongup blew his fridge as his unfocused eyes looked around the kitchen. The kitchen suddenly seemed a lot bigger when he was the only person there. Taking a deep breathe in, he made himself a bowl of ramyeon. All the while, he tried to occupy his mind with something interesting in order to distract himself from the deafening silence. He beamed contentedly as he caressed his lower stomach when he could feed his baby what he craved for.

"Jongup?" Said person was startled and immediately looked up only to meet with Myungsoo and Sunggyu. He wanted to stand up from the counter top when Myungsoo refrained him from doing so.

"Craving?" Myungsoo asked as he sat next to the flustered Jongup. The boy nodded sheepishly and silently watched Sunggyu filling up two empty glasses with plain water.

“Did you only have ramyeon?” Sunggyu threw him a question as he gave one glass to his wife, who thanked him through their brief eye contact and grateful smile. Jongup could not help but feel slightly jealous with their intimacy. He internally sighed for he thought his hormones were playing tricks with him again. Guessed he was yearning for someone else’s attention, someone he could call his beloved that made him feel this way. Now that he had no one, he should really bury his wish deep under the ground.

“Dear, what’s wrong?” A gentle touch made a contact with Jongup’s hand and brought the boy out of his thoughts. He quickly shook his head, and formed an awkward smile. He did not miss the way Myungsoo exchanged look with his husband and he stiffened when the former turned to look at him again, unreadable expression on his face.

“Jongup-ah…” Myungsoo started and said person waited for the other to continue his words. What he did not expect was a motherly touch on his soft cheek. He was flabbergasted and speechless as he let Myungsoo caressed his cheek. The touch was very warm, so comfortable that he unconsciously leaned in to the palm. How he had missed the touch of his mother… Jongup closed his eyes as he tried to hold back the tears that wanted to brim his eyes. He was really sensitive right now, so vulnerable.