[Taeyeon]

I can't stop kissing her. Her body on top of mine... Oh it feels so damn good. I am feeling light headed right now and I don't even know if it was because I am sick or because of the kisses that I couldn't get enough of. She said I am running down with a fever but why do I feel hot -- differently.

Whew. Oh god. I just can't resist and stop kissing her. Even though I am lacking with air now, my head feeling more light headed still all I wanted are my lips all over her -- on her lips, on her skin.

But I have to stop. And she pulled back. Thankfully, she did or I wouldn't have at all. She was panting and so do I. Her warm, soft and smooth skin under my hand just makes me want to feel more of her. But, no. Not like this. Would she uhm even want to do it? I mean... Ugh. Why am I even thinking about all these things?

Stupid hormones. Stupid, stupid hormones.

Oh dear god. How to control thy hormones if she's on top of me looking like this. y bed hair, warm body, eyes that are dark and on fire, lips so red and plump...

"TaeTae... TaeTae..."

And that damn husky voice. Is it even legal to be this darn beautiful and hot at the same time?

"Pani..." That was all I could say. She always leaves me breathless. My mind is blank and filled with only things about her -- all about her.

I love this girl so much. I really do and I just realized that now. It's not that I didn't before but I feel like there's something different now, something has changed.

"Pani, thank you." I told her. I want her to know that I am grateful of her -- for accepting me and my heart.

"Hmm? For what, TaeTae?"

"Just... Thank you, for everything. Thank you, Pani ah." I cupped her face so I can look straight into her eyes.

She just does not know how much it means to me, all these things that she's been doing right now for me. No one has ever taken care of me when I am sick. I've never even had someone to hold my hand or hug me when I am feeling down and tell me that everything will be okay. No one has ever made me feel that I mean something to them... Not even my own father.

I didn't even notice that I was shedding tears until I felt Tiffany wiping them away. Why am I being so emotional right now? I felt her lips on my forehead and I couldn't help and hold my tears anymore. I don't even know why.

"It's okay TaeTae. You're not alone. I'm here now. I mean it, every single word that I tell you. You mean so much to me TaeTae."

She got off of me and laid on her side before pulling me to her. She has her arms around me and I have never felt so safe in my life. I don’t know why these tears keep coming out and I am trying my best to stop it but it just wouldn’t do so.

“It’s okay. Let it all out, TaeTae. You have me now.” I heard her say so sweetly.

And finally, all the tears were gone. And I took a deep breath taking in her scent – her scent that I love the most, so comforting and intoxicating.

I pulled back a bit to look at her face. I can see the worry in her eyes and I feel bad for causing it. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what came in to me.” I looked away, too embarrassed because of what had just happened.

“It’s okay, TaeTae. You don’t have to explain anything. Just remember you don’t have to hold it all in anymore and that you don’t have to always be the strong one. It’s okay to cry and be sad or feel weak at times. I’m here now. I want us to share everything, from the littlest to the grandest things. I hope you’ll let me.” She said as she held me tighter and traced invisible lines on my back and arms.

How lucky am I to have this girl and be able to call her mine? I know there’s no guarantee at all, with what we have and what kind of life is waiting for us – if we ever get to leave this place at all. I trust her, that I do. I can see and feel the sincerity in her but I still can’t just shrug the thoughts of losing her if we do get to go home.

Selfish as it might sound, but somehow there is this growing nagging feeling inside of me that wishes for time to stop and leave me and Tiffany alone in this island and stay here for as long as we could. Because only then am I feeling relieved and happy that I can have her, that she’s all mine and that she loves me too.

“I love you.” I muttered under my breath.

“I love you too, TaeTae.” I felt her lips on my cheek and I saw that smile that I’ll never get tired of.  “Sleep TaeTae. You’re still sick. I’ll just be here.”

“You sleep too."

“I’m fine.”

“I won’t sleep unless you sleep too.”