It's been almost 4 years now. You were 22 years old.

4 years with Luhan 2.0. And it was nearing graduation. 

You were trying to finish up the last of your final research paper. It was nearly 12am and you were cooped up in the corner of the library with all the other students at school. You had a large coffee on the corner of the table you were at, with a thick textbook opened in the middle. You were jotting down formulas and drawing diagrams into your notebook. 

Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around you from behind. You felt a kiss on the top of your head. The arms let go and you saw a bag of snacks drop onto your table. You looked behind to see your boyfriend smiling down at you. 

"Babe, what is this?" you asked.

"What is this? Clearly, it's food. This paper writing is making you blind or maybe stupid, I don't know." He teased. 

You lightly hit his stomach and ushered him to sit down beside you. You asked "What are you doing here? This is too much food, by the way." 

He smirked, "Who said it's all for you?" 

You tilted your head in curiosity. Luhan suddenly ruffled your hair.

"I'm going to study with you, silly. I need to review for my last exam tomorrow. Might as well keep you company." He kissed you. 

"Oh." 

"Oh? That's all you can say. Your loving boyfriend decided to study in the crummy library with his ungrateful girlfriend instead of inside his warm dorm room."

"Stop being a drama queen. Thanks for this." You gave Luhan a hug and put your attention back onto your paper.

Luhan smiled and started taking his stuff out of his backpack. 

The rest of the night was filled with cramped hands, yawning every 5 seconds, and the occasional hand holding. 

Nights like these made you wish that university wasn't ending so soon. 

You handed your research paper in at 3pm sharp to the department of Applied Science and Technology. Once the paper was in the hands of the head of the department, you felt a rush of happiness. 

You were finally done your fourth and final year of your bachelor's. It was such a big feat because you literally considered dropping out halfway. But of course, Luhan picked you back up and let your metaphorical train continue onto its journey.

Your ‘train’ final reached its destination. Graduation.

It was only a few days away. Your heart burst with joy whenever you thought about it.

Immediately after exiting the dreaded building, you called Luhan.

“LUHAN! I’m free!!!” You jumped for joy but then you remembered you were in a public place so you quickly walked away from the area.

“That’s great, baby! I’ll be seeing you later right? We need to celebrate.” You heard Luhan through the phone.

“Mm! See you!” You hung up. You decided to make your way to your dorm to get some rest before spending the evening with Luhan.

Suddenly, a figure stood in front of you. You apologized and tried to make your way around the person.

You were held back by a hand that grabbed your arm. You were shocked thinking, OMG this is the end of me. I’m going to die.

You looked up at the person who grabbed you. “O-oppa?”

It was Jongin. After 4 years, he didn’t talk to you and now he shows up like this. His hair was no longer dark brown, it was blonde. Styled straight with side swept bangs. His face didn’t show that innocent boy you used to know; he looked mysterious and bad boy-ish. You could see the 4 years on his face, he matured with stress.

“Hana.”

“What are you doing here?” Your eyes started forming tears. You wanted to hug him but it seemed a little forward, especially after what happened.

“You look good. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Jongin spoke softly. You could hear the pain in his voice.

You nodded, not being able to form some words.

“I guess you wanna know why I’m here.”

You nodded again.

“Well, I work in Seoul now.”

“H-how long?”

“It’s been a year.”

You stared at him.

“I... I couldn’t face you. Not after you broke my heart.”

“I didn’t even get to say anything back then.”

“But I knew. I knew it was coming. Now, I’m just here... to get closure.”

“Oh.”

“Han,” He cupped your cheek, “I missed you so much. But it hurts to be in love with you. I just want it to stop hurting. Every single day, you’re my first and last thought. But... I need to stop.”

You looked down at your fiddling hands. “Oppa, I’m sorry.”

“Hana, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. I knew from the beginning that it would never work.”

“W-wait. I need to give you something.” You reached into your shoulder bag and pulled a small red pouch out. You opened it and pulled a chain out. At the end of the chain was the ring.

“Wh-“

“Oppa, this is yours. I’m giving it back. I can’t keep it.”

“No, Hana, this is yours. I gave it not because of a stupid promise but because you’re the most important person in my life.” He put the ring and chain in your palm and closed your hand.

“Oppa, you know I love you. Just not the way you want me to.”

“I know, and that’s what makes it hurt even more.”

“I love you with everything I have. I don’t want to lose you. I want you to stay as my oppa.”

“I will, but not now. Maybe in time. When I’ve healed, and I learn to accept things as they are.” Jongin sighed and stared at you. “I love you, Hana. This isn’t good bye but I’ll see you soon. You’re happy right?”

“I am happy.” You said, tears starting to form in your eyes. Jongin squeezed your arm where he held you.

“That’s good enough. Good bye, Hana.” You watched Jongin walk away. This scene broke your heart.

You finally made it to your dorm, feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted.

You called Luhan asking if your celebration could be done after graduation. He didn’t argue after hearing your tired voice. You told him about Jongin and how it was finally over with him.

“Well, at least another thing has come to an end. Graduation and now with Jongin.” He said through the phone with a sad voice. He didn’t hate Jongin, he understood your relationship with him.

“Yeah, I can finally wrap up this chapter in my life.” You sighed as you shifted in your bed.

“That’s my Hana. Um, I have to go now. I need to go and.. uh- buy some things.” He said in a rush. You could hear him shuffling stuff around, then you heard the sound of his keys.

“Ok, I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Bye.” He hung up the phone.

A few days passed.

You were frantically running around your dorm, tripping over boxes that have been packed ready to go to your new apartment.

You were one of the lucky graduates to have a job ready right after graduating. You were starting in about a month after you’ve moved in.

Oh right, the apartment. You were moving in with Luhan. He got a job at the same company but a different department. Things were just going perfectly for you. You were so excited for the life ahead of you.

You were running around your dorm looking for all the makeup you packed away, thinking that you wouldn’t need it but you completely forgot about your graduation. You found the small bag and quickly put on some BB cream, eyeliner, mascara, and a little blush.

You made your way to the main hall where the ceremony was being held. You were trying to put your robe and hat on as you jogged in your heels.

DING! DING! DING!

You heard your phone going off but you didn’t have the time to pick it up and check. You knew it was probably Luhan asking where you were. Or your mom.

You had 5 minutes before you were supposed to check in and get seated. Luckily you were one of the last so there was no crowd. You ran into the hall to find your seat. You looked for Luhan and waved at him. It was in alphabetical order so you sat closer to the front.

The president of the school did his annual speech about how after graduating you are the future of the society, blah blah blah. YAWN. Then the diplomas were handed out. You could tell who was popular by the amount of people who cheered for the graduate.

You heard Luhan yell, “YEAH BABY!” when it was your turn. You were sure that your face in the picture when you received your diploma was super red. You threw Luhan a look as you got off stage.

You were a little more timid when it was his turn. You just hooted when it was his turn and blew him a kiss.

The whole process of getting through all the students took a long time, and then the valedictorian did his speech. He made the audience laugh and cry. He helped them reminisce on the memories in university.

Finally, the end came. One of the best professors on campus did the exiting speech. You all threw your hat up in the air. Then you picked yours up and ran around looking for Luhan.

You found him also searching for you in the crowd. You guys kissed but you caught a flash to your left. You pulled away and saw your two best friends giggling while looking at the camera.

“Yah!” You yelped at them.

“This is so gonna be your grad gift from me.” Yu-ri smiled and gave Sehun a kiss on the cheek.

Oh right, finally, Yu-ri and Sehun started dating in the last year of university. You knew they had something since the beginning but they were both too stubborn to admit it. You were always at the listening end when they would run to you to complain about some boy/girl who is trying to hit the other up. You saw them get jealous, get nervous, etc. But you never exposed each other of their feelings.

In the end, they both got mad at you for not telling but you just smiled at them and said, “It worked out, didn’t it?” They tackled you into a hug, giggling.

You asked a classmate to take a picture of all 4 of you.

After the picture, you were holding Luhan’s hand and went to find your parents.

Your mom came out of nowhere and gave you a comforting hug.

“Hana, I’m so so so proud of you.” Your mom teared up. “You’re so grown up now, baby.”

Your dad joined in and ruffled your hair. “Well done, kiddo.”

You smiled at both of them. Then you asked Luhan to take a picture of you with your parents. Then you asked your parents to take a picture of you and Luhan.

Suddenly, Luhan’s parents found you and Luhan. You smiled at them and gave his mom a hug. “Auntie!”

She smiled at you. After 2 years, she finally approved of you and Luhan. She was so against you at first but then she realized that you had good intentions, and also that you were studying a very difficult field of work. That last part was kind of the deal breaker.

She hugged you back and suggested a picture with her and Luhan’s dad. You stood beside her, with Luhan on your other side, and his father on the other side of him.

Then your parents wanted a picture too.

Then you asked a random student walking around and asked to take a picture of all of you.

After all the picture taking and the hugging was done, you left the venue to finish packing and to send off your boxes into the delivery truck so that you could move in the next day.

You stared into your empty dorm room and sighed. You were content but you were going to miss the room you spent 4 years in.

He talked about how nice the apartment was. He went straight to your future apartment together because he had everything there and was just waiting for your boxes. He complained about how you had the perfect last minute timing. You laughed and said that you were a professional at procrastination.

When you were with Luhan, 2 hours was nothing. It flew by so fast because you enjoyed every second with him.

4 years just felt like yesterday to you.

You looked at your intertwined hands thinking about how many times those hands had comforted you when times were tough; they held you, they ruffled your hair, they tickled you to no end, they held yours through thick and thin. Your eyes travelled up to Luhan’s face as he concentrated on his driving. You knew Luhan was handsome but he looked extra handsome that day. You remembered the trials you two went through the past 4-5 years. After every argument, date, happy times, and sad, you two always ended up finding a way to make it all better. Every single moment with him felt like the first; with the butterflies, the shy giggles, the surprises. He ever failed to make you feel loved. He also never failed to make you feel like the most beautiful girl in his eyes. The brightness in his eyes never dulled.

Luhan was your ray of sunshine. You felt like the luckiest person in the world.

Finally arriving to your home, every one you knew was there. You were greeted with warm hugs and kisses from your family and extended family. Yu-ri and Sehun were already there. Your old friends were there too.

You had a good time, chatting about school and about your future. You told them about your job and about your apartment in a high rise building that looked over Seoul. (You noted to thank Luhan’s parents for helping you with the apartment; the down payment was their gift to the both of you.)

All those part-time jobs paid off. The sleepless nights and dark under circles were totally worth the apartment and the amazing job you landed.

By the end of the night, you felt like you were 3 month pregnant with a food baby. Your mom prepared all of your favourite food.

Luhan came by after breakfast to pick you up. You came down wearing a casual outfit; a pair of jean joggers and a black shirt. He told you to go back and change into something nicer. You groaned and trudged back up stairs.

You ended up choosing a white flowy dress with a beige cardigan on top from your old closet. You wore a pair of your mom’s oxfords.

You made your way down stairs and saw your mom and Luhan deep in conversation. You called out to Luhan and asked if what you were wearing was okay. He said you always looked beautiful but the outfit just needed to be nicer that day. You wondered if you were eating somewhere fancy.

You told your mom you’d be back to say bye before you headed to Seoul. She said she’d have dinner prepared so you had to stop by.

You left and headed to Luhan’s car. You noticed he was wearing something nice too. A white button up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a pair of black jeans, and a pair of grey lace up shoes. His now dark brown hair was styled straight with his bangs down.

You arrived at the restaurant for lunch with his parents. It was the location of the old board game cafe that you first went to with Luhan and the other students in highschool; it was now a cute cafe/restaurant that served Italian. Your favourite.

You held his hand and made your way inside. You saw his parents already sitting at a table by the windows. You let go of Luhan’s hand to run to the table. You hugged his mom and dad before sitting down.

Ordering was easy because you ordered your favourite Italian dish. Lunch was full of talking about future plans and his parents warning you about Luhan being super lazy around the house. He defended himself by saying that he learned to keep his dorm clean after 4 years. His mom just chuckled and gave your hand a squeeze, telling you to take care of her only son.

The plates were taken away but you decided to stay a little longer to talk some more over coffee and cake. It was fun talking to his parents.

Suddenly, Luhan asked his parents to tell you about their past dating experience with each other and how they ended up getting married.

“Oh, dear. Your dad was so stubborn that I had to take the lead. I was the one to confess first and initiate the first kiss. But oh, his proposal to marry me was a surprise. I never saw it coming.” His mom said as she looked down, smiling as she thought about old times.

“Yeah, I was so embarrassed, honey. I wanted to be a man but I didn’t have the courage. She wore the pants. I was lucky to have met a woman like your mom. I thought to myself, ‘I’ll never find a girl who will do these kinds of things. I need to marry her.’” He held his wife’s hand and gave a loving look at her. He then looked at Luhan and nodded.

You noticed this and was confused as to why he’d nod at Luhan for nothing.

All of a sudden, Luhan got up from his chair. He pulled out a small velvet box from his pocket.

Your hands shot up to your mouth, as you were shocked. Is he really proposing to me?

Luhan got down on one knee. He opened the box and looked straight up at you. “Hana, you are the love of my life. As soon as I met you, I knew I had to marry you. You are intelligent and beautiful, and I want to watch you grow. I want to watch us grow. You’ve dealt with me for so many years and I’ve never been happier. For many people, it takes them countless partners before they find the one, but I was lucky to have met her the first time. You are my first love, but I also want you to be my last. So, Cho Hana, will you marry me?”

By this point, you were sobbing. You were so happy. No, happy was an understatement. Your whole body was filled with joy and love. You couldn’t stop the tears but you managed to croak out a ‘yes’. He slipped the ring on and kissed you.

You hugged and sobbed for the longest time. It was unbelievable. You were going to marry your first love. He was your forever.

You couldn’t believe how lucky you were. Out of all the people in the world, Luhan chose you. So the one question that you had for all these perfect moments was....

Why me?

OK GUYS. IT'S DONE!

I'm sorry, it was kinda rushed. I really needed to end this story because I kinda started this story on a whim. It is my first story but it was poorly planned.I didn't even know how to end it but YAY I did. 

I'm super bittersweet about this. I mean, this story was dear to me because it was kinda me telling you the story of my first love. Of my Luhan. Unfortunately, in real life, my Luhan and I didn't work out the second time but I'm honestly okay with that. It's kinda funny because my situation with my Luhan happened just this year. We didn't work out like we thought we would. We didn't even work out as friends because he was a jerk. I realized why I broke up with him in the first place. That's why my updates came hella late. SORRY! 

To my Luhan, I hope you find someone who willl put up with your jerk attitude. As much as I used to love you, I really can't anymore. 

Anyways, thanks so much for being with me through this emotional rollercoaster of a story. I'll start editing it so that its better to read. Oh god, I was reading the first chapter of my story and I cringed. It's really cool how much my writing has changed since the beginning. 

Thank you guys so much for reading. And for commenting. And for upvoting. I LOVE YOU <3

ADD ME AS A FRIEND AND TALK TO ME. I'm on summer vacation and I really wanna get to know some of you guys <3 

SEE YOU IN MY NEXT STORY :D

Ps. I'm going to start a Chanyeol fic very soon. I'll post a chapter to do some shameless advertising >< Stay tuned.