“I love you, too”, you whispered.

Luhan held you close, like he was going to lose you once again. He held you like you were his life. You felt the love and care he put into holding you. This was the Luhan you fell in love with.

His face was in your hair, taking in your unique scent. He wanted to remember this scent forever. He was scared that you would run away from him so he didn’t let go.

You hug him back, gently. Your mind was thinking all sorts of things like, we can’t do this, this is wrong, this love is wrong, back out, you’re making a big mistake. Yet, your heart said the opposite. I love you, I’m sorry for ever letting go, I forgive you, I want you... I need you.

You didn’t know how long you were in an embrace with Luhan but when you finally parted, you saw that Luhan’s cheeks were glistening a bit. He was crying...

You reached out and touched his face to wipe the tears. His eyes closed and he smiled into your touch. “I missed this.”, he said.

When he opened his eyes, he saw that you had tears threatening to fall.

“Oh, no.  Princess, don’t cry. Please don’t. I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt you again.”, he reached out and held your face, swiping his thumbs over the tears that nearly fell.

You looked down and sniffed a bit. “Luhan, what are we doing?”, you asked him, quietly.

“What do you mean, Han?” That nickname.

“Us. What are we doing? This. This can’t happen. We were over. I-I...”

You tried to run away but Luhan wasn’t about to let you go now. He grabbed your arm and spun you into his arms.

“Why can’t we happen again, Han? You just said you love me and I love you, too. I’m not going to lose you again even if you try running away. Don’t lie to yourself. You know we can happen, Han.”

“Luhan, they say that dating an ex is like reading a book you already read. I know how it’s going to end. Trusting a man with all my heart then finding out there was a secret booty call on the side. No, I’m not falling for that. I learned my lesson. We can’t be, Luhan. I’ll just be fooled by you again. Yes, I do love you. So much, it hurts. But that isn’t enough to- to risk getting hurt again.”

“What- no. Hana, It was never wrong. Listen, Sohee was obsessed with me. I really tried to get away. That time.... That time when you saw us together.... That time that caused us to seperate... I was really telling her off. I just met up with her to make sure she was okay. That's all, Han. It was nothing else. My love never faltered for you. I was so sorry for causing you pain that I couldn't even come back. I waited until university to start to win you back but you didn't stay in the dorm we signed up for. All I need is a chance. Please?"

"I-I don't know. I'm afraid."

"Han, I love you so much and I'm willing to wait. How about we take it slow? Let me show you that I am a bettter man for you. Give me the chance to make you happy again... I just...", Luhan looked away from you so you wouldn't see his tears.

"I- Okay."

"Hm?"

"I said, okay. Let's take it slow. But, I can't guarantee anything."

"Really?", he hugged you and gave you a kiss. 

You chuckled and pushed him off, "I said, take it slow."

"Oh, right. Sorry.", he scratched the back of his head and grinned.

"I really need to head back now. I need to catch up on the work you made me miss. So, uhh.. I'll see you later.", you hugged him and walked in the direction of the school.

Luhan quickly caught up to you, "I'll walk you back."

"It's okay, I'll be fine."

"Hana."

"Okay, okay." 

He grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers. You looked down and smiled. You really missed him and everything with him. An added plus to having him back is having him back more handsome than he was back then. 

Luhan, on the other hand, was happier than ever. 

He walked you all the way back to your dorm. "Ah, so this is where you moved. All the way across campus.", he hummed. 

You looked away in embarassment. 

"Good thing, I walked you back, so now I know where you're staying. Although.... I wish you didn't move. Anyways, I'll walk you to class tomorrow.", he smiled. 

"You don't have to...", you said. 

"I want to. Please."

"Um, okay. I guess. I'll see you tomorrow then.", you waved and walked into your dorm.

You ran into your room, slammed the door, and jumped on your bed. You screamed into your pillow, feeling blissful and happy again. But then a thought struck you, Jongin. 

You slowly reached for your phone and shot Jongin a text letting him know you wanted to talk. He later replied saying that he was free later on with a bunch of smileys. Oh god, how hard is this.

You dreaded this moment. You didn't think you'd end up dealing with Luhan again and, honestly, you were ready to move on with Jongin. But maybe that was because you were mad. Mad that you didn't give him a chance, mad that a stupid girl came in but you didn't trust him, or probably mad at yourself for letting things go so easily. 

You dragged Jongin into a mess that you felt like you created yourself. You lead him on thinking you could learn to love him when, in reality, your heart was always for Luhan. It never changed. 

You felt horrible. You felt guilty, like you were cheating on Jongin even when you two weren't a thing. Itwas just so hard because you and Jongin had some sort of emotional connection. Your love for him may have not been romantic afterall, it might have just been platonic or filial love. But, if anything, you do love him. However, not the same as the love towards Luhan. 

Despite feeling like , you were happy. You felt lucky to have another chance with your first love because, honestly, it was hard to forget your first. He was the disease, yet also the cure to the pain. Most people wouldn't take the chance but you and him ended on a misunderstanding. And now, it was cleared. The love came back. It hit you like a flying brick in the face. 

You were afraid of what Jongin would think of you. He was an important part of your life so you really hoped he'd understand. 

... 

Soon you heard a knock on your door. It slammed open revealing Sehun and Yu-ri. 

"Girl, I saw you and Luhan. What is goin' on?"

"You better not be back with him. You broke up for a reason."

You turned red because what they were saying was all right. 

"I am kinda back with him.. I'm just going to give it a chance, and if it doesn't work out, then I can always end it."

"You better know what youre doing.", Sehun said. 

This is what you were scared of, your own friends judging you. It was hard enough making the decision of trying it again with Luhan but adding on with the judgement of your friends was even harder. If anything, you wanted them to support you no matter what. 

"Would you hate me if we did date again?", you asked sheepishly. 

They both looked at each other and sighed. "No, we can't hate you, Han. We just care too much about you that we're scared he'll hurt you again. We just want you to be happy. And... if this is what it takes, then we can't stop you.", Sehun said for both of them. 

You nodded and sighed. Suddenly your phone vibrated to notify you of an incoming text. 

Hey, I'm free now, wanna talk on skype? -Jongin

You cursed to yourself and excused yourself from the room to talk in privacy. 

You went to an empty staircase and called Jongin. 

"Oppa.."

"Hey, Hana. How are you?"

"Oppa, I have to tell you something..."

"Hmm?" 

"It's about Luhan."

... Silence

"Oppa?" 

"Look, Hana. I gotta go. Maybe later okay?"

"O-"

He hangs up.

"-kay." 

You looked down and tears began to well up in your eyes. You knew this wasn't going to be easy. 

Hi, short update!

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